Al Franken: Failing Forward
by Michael WilsonHere in the frigid, overtaxed state of Minnesota, we know one thing about Al Franken… he’s persistent. I’d even venture to say he won’t be waiting for The One to finish out his term and run for a second as President. Franken will go for the gold in 2012. Even if Obama manages to get the Democratic votes for the nomination the next go ‘round, Al’s going to take it anyway. And if you don’t believe me, just look at his history.
Al Franken persisted as a comedian for decades. Hell, they still refer to him as a “comedian” in the papers. He spent years writing, performing and radio-show hosting as a comedian. The guy managed to do this despite the handicap of a complete and total lack of comedic ability (and, for the record, ideology doesn’t trump comedy for me… I’m a huge Carlin fan and cite Kevin Smith as my reason for giving this business a go). Franken’s career has led me to imagine a skinny, 90lb kid with asthma who wants to be a linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He has no skill, no size, no talent. But he makes it – and though he’s never made a tackle, he is widely credited as one of the NFL’s all-time greats. A hero! But Franken is a hack.
A hack, you say? How dare you, Wilson! I loved that Stuart Smalley movie! Asshole.
Yeah, I’m an asshole. But I’m also right about Franken. It seems the man has failed forward in every stage of his life.
Franken’s supporters make a big deal of his degree from Harvard. And while an Ivy League education will take you a long way, as it certainly did for Franken, President Obama, all the writers at “The Simpsons” and President Bush (among thousands of other household names), it’s usually accompanied by some direction for the graduate’s life. Franken’s degree is in General Studies. It may as well be in Pong or some such shit. Because when I went to school at Saint Cloud State University, a school that is as much a polar opposite to Harvard as anything, people majoring in General Studies were usually the passed-out bastards I had to step over to get into one of the party houses before engaging in some of the college world’s most heralded underage consumption.
After that, Franken started working for SNL as a writer. He created one memorable character, Stuart Smalley (who was, admittedly, funny for about 4 minutes and seventeen seconds), before being shit-canned for doing a monologue about the president of NBC. Okay, there was no official firing … in the same way that Bush didn’t “fire” Brownie after Katrina, but Lorne Michaels left at the end of that season, and without a skirt to hide behind, so did Franken.
He popped up on SNL again after the smoke cleared but didn’t get to anchor the show’s Weekend Update, so he quit. I can hear that monotone, boring voice: “Uh, well, I guess I, maybe you should let me host Weekend Update. After all, it’s the “decade of Al Franken.” No shit, he actually called the 80’s the “decade of Al Franken,” even though unbridled capitalism, patriotism and Reaganism (the antithesis of Franken’s ideology) were very much in vogue and propelled the nation to greatness after Carter’s malaise. But he quit. Or was fired. Or whatever.
He wrote some books including “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot” and “Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them” in between writing screenplays like “Stuart Smalley Saves His Family.” Now, this is the only spot where Franken supporters are going to be able to reasonably argue with me. Those books were successful. And they are the source material that formed the public persona that we Minnesotans rejected in the 2008 election. Oops. I mean, these are the books that gave the super-crazy left the idea that Al Franken would be a decent Senator from the Great Tundra of Minnesota. These voters clearly didn’t consider the movies Franken wrote. But I’ll give them the whole “He was on the NYT Bestseller List” thing.
Franken, an astute Harvard grad, figured out that a whole bunch of people listen to, and therefore there’s a big market in get information from talk radio, so he began hosting a really, really, really, really, really terrible show on something called Air America, which was and continues to be a failure because it’s boring to listen to liberals for the sake of listening to liberals. And because liberal listeners aren’t capitalistic by nature and therefore don’t buy shit that’s advertised, advertisers don’t like this. But Fuckin’ A, you can send a donation. Or you can just take money from the Boys and Girls Club of America.
Franken’s radio show was an abysmal failure. But that didn’t stop him. No, that guy is persistent. Most Harvard graduates are. So to get out of his contract to serve the nation and the people of Minnesota, Franken moved back to the state where he hadn’t lived since he got into showbiz and was a coastal dude because that’s where all the action is his childhood, and announced that he was running against Senator Norm Coleman in 2008.
If you’ll forgive me a little tangent, I’d like to point out that Coleman is no conservative, nor, as I prefer, a libertarian. He’s against drilling in ANWR, among other things, and is generally considered a centrist among both Republicans and Democrats. In full disclosure, I’ve met Norm a couple of times and think he’s a nice guy. Not a raving libertarian like me, but a nice guy. The same could probably be said of Obama. Not my cup of tea politically, and may run the country into the earth, but seems like a nice enough fellow. The point is, the liberals who hate Coleman so much are kind of Windmilling themselves (a term coined by Joe Soucheray, referring to the desire for eco-friendly windmills by environmentalists, who then decry said windmills because of their aesthetics). Coleman’s not a millionaire, he used to be a Democrat, and his ideology is pretty much right down the middle… all things Minnesota Dems have been screaming for.
Back to Franken. He announced he was leaving the radio to run for Senate, and people said, “Really, AL? You’re a comedian. You don’t have any ideas. You haven’t really lived in Minnesota for decades.” Al shrugged and, as always, persisted. He ran and then lost the election. But that didn’t stop him. Franken knew a flawed manual recount was coming. And he quickly announced that we “still don’t know who won the election.” He was down by 215 votes.
After quite a bit of legal wrangling, wherein some votes were counted that shouldn’t have been, some votes were counted more than once, Lizard People got some undue media coverage and Minnesotans declared that they didn’t give a crap which guy was the next Senator, the state canvassing board announced that Franken had the numbers. Coleman’s 215-vote lead wasn’t enough, but now that Franken has 225, he says he’s won. And knowing that Minnesota’s judges are both soft and, in true Minnesota fashion, are opposed to confrontation, I don’t believe that Coleman will win his challenge. Franken will be the next Senator from California New York Minnesota.
I predict that Al Franken will be elected President of the United States of America in 2012. He’ll run, maybe even lose, but he’ll find a way to be called President. And maybe we need someone like Franken in the White House. After all, I think the President should be someone with real resolve. And Al Franken is perhaps the most persistent candidate we’ve ever seen. No failure, no matter how monumental, stops him. Now, if only he didn’t believe that government, in all its glorious ineptitude, is the answer to all our problems.
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82 Comments
You know, as far as Al Franken the “comedian” goes, he did finally get some laughs again recently. Problem was it was when he announced he was going to run for the Senate. Of course, now that he might win after all, nobody’s laughing.
LOL, very good analysis – and I’ll bet you didn’t need 15 Harvard researchers to help you.
MIchael Wilson, it shouldn’t surprise you that Norm is a liberal that calls himself a Republican since our governor is the exact same way. Buddying up to teacher’s unions and buying into the global warming BS…not very conservative like. How anyone living in this state in January, with 30 below zero temps. can talk about global warming is beyone me.
So the question becomes “Who did Franken know and when did he know him?”
(I mean “know” in the Biblical sense of course)
Despite all Franken’s done to try and take the title away, Garrison Keillor will always be Minnesota’s Least Funny Humorist.
And at least they kept Ventura in their own stupid state, instead of inflicting him on the rest of the nation.
@Joan of Argghh!
You said “Our public servants in leadership neither lead nor serve the public.”
Haven’t you heard (’cause I sure have). This is the Obama era, they’re not calling it “service” anymore, the new term is “reign” or “rule.”
Hand to God, that’s what I’ve been hearing liberals in the media call it. Don’t know if it’s intentional or a Freudian slip, but I assume the latter.
Like the article, as a fellow Minnesotan I agree totally.
If you can’t depend upon politicians for laughs, what can you depend upon them for? But come April 15, I suppose only a few people will be laughing much.
CHRIS – January 23rd, 2009 at 7:00 am
“So when Bush lost the presidential election in 2000 but still got to be president by manipulating the Florida electorate discrepencies, thats okay, but when Franken does it it’s abuse of the election process?”
Yes, I agree, you’re an idiot. Thanks for pointing that out.
“I decided Minnesotans must like freaks to represent them.” You have a point. Only here do we vote for a president that promises tax cuts, and then vote ourselves an increase in our state sales tax.
A talk radio host here said it best: “Minnesota: where the state bird is the loon and the state religion is DFL.”
If Democrats in this state told people to give up their first born, everyone would be fighting to be first in line.
Franken is stunad. Not even in the least bit funny. You give him too much credit with his ‘Stuart Smalley’ shtick. I’m not saying this convenientaly after-the-fact, I never…NEVAH thought that stuff was funny; even for one second. That neanderthal (I am conservative, you know) instinct in me always wanted to whack Stuart Smalley upside the head with a fungo bat. I won’t comment on his stupid movie…suffice it to say I was high when I watched a few minutes of it in the mid-nineties and I had to change the channel.
His politics? I wouldn’t say he has politics, since politics that can be attributed to a person’s ownership usually develop out of a philosophy that is thought-out, reasonable, and most importantly, lived out. He’s a hack, since he just picked up what other people believe and spews it back out verbatim. He attacks people that he doesn’t like to appease the moronic and offers nothing in terms of alternatives. He’s a typical limousine, drive-by, hypocrite liberal hack.
I agree with the statement ‘ideology doesn’t trump comedy.’ 100%. I’d be tempted to throw hands with Alec Baldwin for labeling me and other conservatives ‘fascist,’ but he’s a great actor and has good comedic timing. It irritates me that he can make me laugh.
Back in the Seventies, when I was a typical teenage boy who’d who’d laugh at almost anything, how did I know when it was time to turn off “Saturday Night Live” and go to bed?
Easy- when Al Franken and Tom Davis came on!
As soon as those two talentless idiots appeared on screen, you KNEW there wouldn’t be anything funny for the rest of the episode.
Now that is excellent analysis woven into cerebral humor. I miss Al Franken-putz on the George Stuff-a-poop-all-us Sunday news hour. It was thrilling to watch George F. Will squeeze him in the crushing grasp of reason while Al struggled to make his pointless. They booted his ass of that show when they finally realized he was a marble mouthed moron in the face of true intellect. Listening to Al drive Air America off a cliff was quite stimulating. Rush Limbaugh “The Big Fat Idiot” rolled over him like an evil SUV over a toad on I-35. Schadenfreude!
Michael Wilson’s attempt at comedy in his stupid anti-Michael Moore movie should have embarrassed him into never attempting to write anything ever again. We libertarians were excited to see it. We want our money back.
MR BLIFIL – January 23rd, 2009 at 7:39 am
How many Democrats voted for the “Grand and Glorious Adventure” but didn’t have the balls to see the thing through to it’s conclusion once the polls went south? And how many were willing to take responsibility for the genocidal and terrorist-empowering aftermath if we pulled out without finishing the job?
While we’re at it, how much money has been paid to maintain your freedom? How many people died in “Grand and Glorious Adventure[s]” to make and keep keep you free? How about that “Grand and Glorious Adventure” that Lincoln led in the South some years back? Was that a waste of money too? The “Grand and Glorious Adventure” over in Europe in the 40’s to defeat a country that had never attacked us?
And how exactly have liberal spending programs in America ever done anything for us but make our citizens more dependent upon government and less on self, family and community?
And BTW, the fact that the “GGAitD” just happened to correspond with seven years of the U.S. not getting attacked by terrorists? Just a coincidence?
I just love “this tendency” from liberals to pooh-pooh the fact that Bush managed to keep us safe for seven years and give millions of people a shot at Democracy while bitching, moaning and wailing about how America is turning into Hitler’s Germany if we try to keep people from looking at kiddie porn at the library or don’t tuck a captive terrorist into bed without a kiss on the forehead.
Please stop trying to sound clever, you’re not.
Sorry, Michael, but some opinions are steeped in envy and ideology, and this is one of them. I understand thinking he’ll make a crap Senator, and he may. But the man’s comedic bona fides are not in dispute, starting with his work as a writer on SNL, back in the glory days.
This guy makes me sick like no other. He’s a perfect representative of liberal democrats.
Franken has more votes than voters in some districts. Thank you, George Soros and the “Shadow” party who controlled this whole election. Stupid Franken needs a job and isn’t qualified to do anything except be a senator.
I like the tone of this piece. Let’s get gritty. Keep it up.
I hope Franken prevails. It would help to wake people up.
Regarding this article…”I wonder what Al Franken is thinking?” Good article!
This whole recount reminds me of the Washington Gov recount a few years ago. The Republican winds by a few hundred votes – the Democrat demands a recount – then helpful campaign workers keep “finding” votes that weren’t initially counted until the Democrat finally “wins”.
If I am not mistaken the final votes counted for both totaled more than were registered for King County.
You are right – Franken isn’t nor has he ever been funny…
Arguing about whether or not he’s funny is ridiculous. Comedy is very subjective, what is funny to one is not funny to another.
As one who has followed this in my daily forays around the net and elsewhere, i have been watching the voters of Minnesota get the short end of the stick at every turn.
Not only has Coleman not fought this nearly a publicly as he should have, now that Franken has fabricated the votes to lead the contest, his dependence on the voters of Minnesota has passed, and now they are worthy of his disdain and not much else. I do on the other hand believe that Coleman’s contest will stand, and if we are lucky, a run-off special election will be put into effect. If the people of Minnesota vote Franken in at that point, we will all know the sway the Dem’s hold here.
Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it. Or at least, that’s what my high school teacher used to say…
You’ve had 8 years since 2000 to see the flaws in the voting system and do something about them. there are still – NO cosnsistent rules on how to interpret ballots, no consistent rules on how to distribute and allow absentee ballots, how to determine ineligible voters, etc. Basically, your election system is ludicrous. You deserve a not-really-funny comedian as a politician. (Oh, wait, you’ve had that for 8 years too).
In Canada, 10 million voters cast ballots using simple paper. The resutls are tabulated with very little question, supervised by scrutineers from any registered party that cares to have someone observe. Recounts, some automatic, are done by a judge within a few weeks. Once a person is allowed to cast a ballot, there is no question of whether the vote is coutned.
Part of the problem in the USA seems to be excessively intense partisanship. Each side realizes that conceding on point A generally loses votes and winning on point B gains votes; and neither side is willing to settle on “what’s fair” and what’s good for democracy, over what is beneficial to their side.
A plague on both your houses divided…
Rowdoser, You have overlooked Hubert H. Humphrey. The guy with his name on the Metrodome. Its the only dome in the NFL that hasnt sold its name righta too an airline or Phone comapany.
[...] Excerpt from:Al Franken: Failing Forward [...]
Said:
BevfromNYC – January 23rd, 2009 at 11:50 am
MD2000 – No offense to Canadians, but you only have 10 million people pretty much voting for slightly conservative Socialism or slightly liberal Socialism. What’s the difference as long as the government provides free healthcare, right?
Yep.
I used to be in the Conservative part; but they’re too Republican for me now. The current PM made it his first order of business to remove subsidies for daycare because they offended his “family first” sensibility. He can’t get a budget passed, couldn’t even goad the opposition into calling an election, but made sure he raised the legal age of consent from 14 to 16. Offends the hell out of most Canadians by talking about God. If you put together the Irish, French, Portugese and Italians and subtract the substantial Hindo/Muslim/Bhuddist Asian immigrant population – dragging God into anything just reignites the Catholic-protestant debate. (Some provinces still have both Catholic and Public school boards)
Health care? Everyone here shakes their head at the USA. Nobody here goes broke because of medical bills. Nobody. And employers don’t have to pay through the nose for dubious health plans. There’s a reason why every civilized country has medicare, even if the USA doesn’t. Michael Moore had it right, except that it’s difficult to pretend to be Canadian to get treated nowadays.
We have 30M+ people. Say about 20M are voters. Typical turnout is about 60% to 66%, so about 15M voters. That’s probably bigger than California (not by much). The secret is simplicity. The most complicated ballot I saw asked for 1 mayor, 7 councillors and 5 school board trustees. Federal or provincial elections ask for 1 member of parliament/legislature. No touchscreens, no butterfly ballots to fit 20 choices on one page, no hanging chads, no secret Diebold machine code that could be rigged by whoever wants to.
The solution to dubious election practices (too many fraudulent votes) is a new election and charges for fraudulent voters. Otherwise, when you show up and aren’t on the list – produce ID and have a registered voter swear you in. Then your ballot is in the mix and there’s no way to pull it out.
Sometimes I envy your propositions and activist judges and decisive leaders – sometimes I don’t. Our current abortion laws, for example came about because neither side could agree on a compromise that also met the constitutionality challenge; political indecision – so Canada has NO law regarding abortion. It is a government funded health procedure, at the choice of the woman. No stupid judicial litmus test debates, no “stacking the court” arguments.
As one comedian said, “Canadians? Think of us as unarmed Americans with health care.”
chris, a standard issue troll, says:
“So when Bush lost the presidential election in 2000 but still got to be president by manipulating the Florida electorate discrepencies, thats okay…”
Wrong.
Here’s a bucket of cold truth to splash over your demented fever dreams:
http://archives.cnn.com/2001/ALLPOLITICS/04/04/florida.recount.01/
The money quote:
“Their count showed that Bush’s razor-thin margin of 537 votes — certified in December by the Florida Secretary of State’s office — would have tripled to 1,665 votes if counted according to standards advocated by his Democratic rival, former Vice President Al Gore.”
“Their” in this case being USA Today and the Miami Herald- not quite a conservative cabal. So even if your footstomping crybaby nitwit candidate had got his way and subverted the constitution- he would lost by EVEN MORE.
But you just keep on with your droolie squeaking about selected, not elected- and please, keep the padded football helmet on tight, okay sport?
Oh, and by the way –
In Canada even convicted felons in jail have the right to vote. We don’t use criminal record as a proxy for racial discrimination. After all, no matter what your social behaviour, you are one of the people in “of, for and by the people” and should have a say in how the country is run.
(Guess what? It doesn’t make a difference in election outcomes…)
Great post and marvelous comments.
I can’t stand this jerkface boll weevil but I’ll give credit where it’s due: He pulled off a perfectly serviceable performance in the movie ‘Trading Places’ as the ganja-addled baggage handler. Goofy — semi-retarded even — Franken was the spot-on choice for the role.
Oh, wait. I guess this just proves the author’s point about how such an no-talent assclown consistently fails forward.
Wow,super site here!
==
http://www.vinyladdiction.tv/sitemap.xml
Nightfly,
Trolls are naturally very sleepy creatures.
I like how these liberal hypocrites can lecture us on W's 400 billion deficit yet when they get in power….
Deficits of 1.8 trillion then 1.4 trillion.
These guys sit in an echo chamber flagellating themselves because they will never listen to another point of view and come up with this nonsense. To quote Jack Nicholson how can I understand liberals so well….
I think of a conservative and I take away all semblances of common sense and reason. A liberal is what is left.
That is of course until they need to see a doctor for an MRI or a surgery then for some reason they come to Chicago.
Sorry if I get sick I want to go see a Doctor and not a Bureaucrat. Somehow Fill out two forms and see me in the morning does not strick me as a help.
That is of course until they need to see a doctor for an MRI or a surgery then for some reason they come to Chicago.
Sorry if I get sick I want to go see a Doctor and not a Bureaucrat. Somehow Fill out two forms and see me in the morning does not strike me as a help.
Right on,
Don't forget that due to the technical issue of military ballots for servicemen and women ovrseas not being able to be delivered on time there votes were successfully bloced by Al Gore's lawyers. Count those votes and W won by an even greater margin.
You know…here we are nearly three months into this Congressional session, and I have to tell you…having only one Senator isn't such a bad gig after all…
…even if the Senator is Amy…
Maybe more states should try it! I nominate California!
Strom Thurmond voted for the civil rights act of 1964. Robert Byrd spent 19 hours speaking trying to fillibuster it. When I lived in South Carolina I was told by the older african americans that live there that in the 50's Thurmond would work behind the scenes to help the victims of the KKK. Robert Byrd was the Grand Wizard of the KKK in West Virginia. If there was even one person attacked by the KKK in West Virginia at that time I feel Byrd can be prosecuted for it under RICO.
But hey check out Wikipeida and they'll tell ya. Byrd apologized and Thurmond didn't. Since Sharpton will congratulate Byrd on his birthday proves that you Democrats are the party of ……………….
Well you Dem's are better than us in coming up with racial epithets. You obsess over them so much.
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