9 REASONS TO IGNORE BEN SHAPIRO AND WATCH ‘24′ WITH US TONIGHT
by JudeThe nation’s most disorganized live-blog follows below starting as 9pm West Coast style.
1. Anyone who goes to college at 16 and graduates Summa Cum Laude is clearly not smart.
2. Even though he is 24-years-old, and that SOUNDS cool, it’s not. Ask yourself, is Jack Bauer a callow youth? Don’t the young hotshots always go down hard when they’re around him?
3. Having happily posed for a picture with him, Kiefer Sutherland is expecting a little LOYALTY, thank you very much.
4. Ben has a very full head of hair, Jack Bauer does not. Someone in that last sentence cannot fully understand the struggles Jack endures every day to simply make the right decision at every juncture.
5. Jack Bauer protects things, while Ben is trying to convince us that Jack Bauer is only a fictional character, thereby endangering us all.
6. He probably learned the Constitution from Laurence Tribe while at Haahhhrvard Law School.
7. He clearly has disrespect for the people of Sengala. You can’t just imagine away a country, Ben. Haven’t you visited the UN?
8. I need help keeping this Johnny-Come-Lately live-blog alive, and Ben has not helped.
9. I come to praise ‘24,’ not to bury it.
Forthwith, we will make fun of the show and each other. Come on in – three’s not a crowd!
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96 Comments
A lookalike for Motobu, the most handsome man on the planet?
I'm just going to call him T'Challa and get on with it.
I'm not sure "fat handicapped sister" is the most elegant description, Jude. How about…. "Big Roller"?
But on the other hand, Immigration never heard of Sengala, either. So what's your point>
Here we go – woot! Just to catch you up, last week a bunch of ridiculous stuff happened, and this week Jack will probably be faced with lots of decisions.
Mr. Madame President is having a TERRIBLE first 100 days.
If I clap my hands, Jack will become real. Sengala, sadly, will not.
Jack is back in his magic room, the Oval Office. his charm here is powerful mojo..
Wild Bill is on mullet watch
Ahh, welcome Ben
Everytime I hear “Dubaku” I take a shot of Wild Turkey…. I’m not going to last much longer….
if they needed a reason to play Madame President as emotional…having her husband kidnapped is pretty much the ticket, right?
Once again, America “Giving the finger” to the third world.
Now I’m hoping Pres. Woman will go ahead and invade Sengala. Her husband is ridiculously annoying. Or perhaps her husband will turn into the Hulk, like he did a few episodes ago. Only one thing can save him now: turning green and wearing purple pants. Or Jack Bauer.
OMG – they took a finger!
could Ethan be more guilty?
“ASK AROUND” – an all-time line
ahh, welcome Stage Right
As the “theatre guy” I feel compelled to point out that Chief of Staff Ethan Kanin is played by Bob Gunton, who originated the role of Juan Peron in “Evita” on Broadway. To me, this suggests he’s in on the plot, but that’s just me talkin’….
..aaaand Jack Bauer is effectively the President of The United States right now, and his First Ladyfriend’s hair is looking remarkable again…
You know how a lawyer says “f . . . you?” “Trust me.” Jack Bauer just said “trust me.” Ergo, Jack Bauer is a lawyer. I always knew there was something a little off about him.
Would it be wrong to ask my wife to dye her hair red….?
Must former President Taylor show up in commercials every season? It’s sad that, after faking his own death, he’s been relegated to doing on-camera work.
Pretty uneventful so far, but we can only hope Dubaku keeps playing reverse hangman.
Here we are, back in the poor man’s CTU. It’s on the 4th floor of an office building in El Segundo.
Man, these busy FBI agents have lots of time to gossip and stuff.
Like I’m supposed to believe they have FBI in Juneau.
lol Ben.
So, Garafellow is the moral compass of this season…
NOTE: Renee’s hair is spectacular for being buried alive earlier in the day.
Larry Stalker is sad to see Jack . total c*#k-blocking.
Jack is ratcheting it up!
Give him the finger, Jack!
With all this talk, the real question becomes: is Dubaku going to miss his dinner date?
Conscience is apparently a dirty word.
Red chooses Jack! Larry Stalker is going down today.
Do I need to take a shot every time BEN says Dubaku too?
Bingo, Ben.
Dubaku: “i’m tied up…er, there is tying up going on here..”
“Stack of shipping manifests.” I like that. I’m gonna use that next time I’m not gonna be home for dinner.
Uh oh, fat handicapped sister apparently sees the world more clearly than hot little Sis.
I know! Hold a Motobo look alike-contest!
Shouldn’t Jack be using a blue tooth? What kind of example is he setting? That’s dangerous!
It looks like fat handicapped sister also committed mail fraud. I could be over-reacting though.
Renee the Red seems to be enjoying the role-play of bad girl a little too much. Someone just said the ugly baby probably helped. I wouldn’t say that, but i feel compelled to report it.
That coffee table looks about 15 pounds… how secure is that going to be?
Nice, um, pit maneuver Jack.
This annoying baby has male pattern baldness (something Ben may not know about), which leads me to believe a sleeper/napper agent.
Ouch, my friend the actor who I’m happy to see working is in TROUBLE…
Mom would be dragging that table over there!
This situation with the baby is precisely the sort of reason we need an economic stimulus with full SCHIP benefits for all children. I don’t see how Renee is helping the economy.
Secret Service issue switchblade!
Jack just bent that dude’s arm like WALL-E
Hot Agent-on-Agent action!
Don’t get weak on me, now, Renee. You will shame my hair color.
Dammit, Jack Bauer cannot drive a dented car!
While we’re on a break here, I’d just like to reiterate that Frank Rich is a Big Fat Liar.
Thank you.
Renee is a better match for Jack than that bloodless Audrey. Bleh!
Go, Renee, get Jackified!
The baby is fine, you doofuses.
Am I supposed to be watching the show while I do this?
RIP, creepy agent with laser eyes.
Cookielady-
I was speaking from the Mom’s point of view. It’s called method live blogging commenting…or somethin’.
I love it when Jack plays Whack-A-Mole.
Or Shoot a Mole, or Stab a Mole.
Just get rid of the danged Moles!
Renee sure picks odd times to turn on the tears. She’s the Edmund Muskie of 24.
Ernie, shhh. no, not at all. We’re basically hanging out here live. Plus, it’s a commercial – what’s up, music man?
CookieLady – I agree, I never liked Jack’s relationship with The Line.
I don’t trust the baby.
“Am I supposed to be watching the show while I do this?”
I don’t know. Am I supposed to be thinking “Damn Israelis” when I read this? Because I totes blame Israel for EVERYTHING. OH, wait, that’s not me.
They got Benson for the lookalike.
My wife just came home and now I’m watching Desperate Housewives DVR’d from last night… I wonder, if I comment on that will you guys notice at all? Or will it fit right in?
Quick game: what’s the link between “24″ and “Taken”?
Larry has trust issues.
Wait’ll you guys see what happens next. (time zones give me an advantage!)
Uh oh. Easy rider sister ain’t too bright.
When immigration starts actually doing something, my suspension of disbelief begins to fail me.
At least she has enough sense to suspect the guy.
Taken also features an unbeatable man who does a lot of voice-over work?
Why don’t they plaster this guy’s face all over the news? Big red letters, BAD GUY underneath his leer.
Answer: George Mason, who plays Famke Jenssen’s new, rich hubby.
Immigration is too busy with the virtual fence to arrest Dobaku anyway.
The real questions is:
1 – is heavily-handicapped sister actually disabled, or is she playing a powerful game of Cat and Mouse to lure in the Sugar Daddy?
Damn! They blew up Robert Downey Jr.!
Must be a North Korean store owner, to be working with a terrorist would-be dictator.
Jack has a Pack Of Liberty and is rollin!
Don’t shoot the Corona!
my comments are disappearing… so will I now
Is it just me, or is the first hubby’s missing finger scene reminiscent of Escape from New York? If so, where is Ernest Borgnine driving a taxi?
That’ll teach them furriners not to charge $4.00 for a twelve ounce Coke.
In honor of Dubaku: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JinBKqSCSac
another plan works out perfectly. Now we’ll get to see someone fighting for his life in ICU, which is always a nice break for the actors.
Now, let’s switch over to Animal Planet and live-blog “Animal Cops: Philadelphia”
So, what’s the verdict? I say it was action-packed, Jack has almost everyone under his thumb, which means he’ll be arrested at some point during the day until his comeback is unavoidable…
an episode without Schlumpy can never be an A, but I think I’ll give this one a solid B.
For Ben.
This was a funnier episode. I didn’t get to use half my material because
1. I got dial-up
2. My stupid computer decided to update the last 20 minutes or so, and
3. My funniest half of comments disappeared.
Still, a very funny and entertaining episode, and Jude, and company, you guys were a riot. CTU is now CCTU= Comedy Counter Terrorist Unit.
The doo-doo will hit the fan next week. If you think this week’s episode was intense, wait till next week!
What I wanted, more or less-
“Madame President, my name is Jack Bauer and I’m here to save your ass!”
President : “Who are you?”
Chloe : “I’m just Chloe O’Brien, a stay-at-home Mom.”
President : “Who are you?”
Tony : “Tony Almeda. Your government killed my hottie wife and turned me either evil or gay or both.”
President : “Who are you?”
Bill : “Bill Buchanan – in charge of CTU.”
President : “There is no more CTU.”
Bill : “Madame President, your intelligence is lacking.”
President : “Who are you?”
FBI Chick : “FBI Agent Walker, Madame President.”
President : “I thought you were dead?”
FBI Chick : “No, that was Tony. I was only buried alive.”
President : “Who are you?”
Edgar : “Edgar Stiles, Mrs. President.”
President : “Now I *know* you were dead.”
Edgar : “Surprise.”
What I got-
groan
despair
no tony
no chloe
no sense of excitement, just disconnected events.
Larry the FBI just registers outrage over every new piece of information. He’s asking too many questions, so I think he is a spy. He’s so conventional. Who cast him?
He and the Pres and Gunton and others have all the dialog and it is boring. The strong performers like JB and Tony and Bill get little or nothing to say or do.
1/3 of the season is over. 4 episodes until it is half over.
Such a disappointment so far.
This was last night?
My 2 favorite parts to this episode:
1. Mail delivery in the crotch…
2. Cauterizing the first gent’s wound with a blow torch (or, as my closed captioning said, a “bloorch” – hahaha)
I thought last night was one of the best so far this season. Madame President almost shed a tear! It’s still one of the best on tv.
24 is BORING. I was addicted to the series for the first 4 or was it 5 years. I don’t remember how many years it’s been on but they totally bored me out in the 2007 series. I watched almost the whole series and just dropped watching and didn’t see how the season ended. I can’t even say Jack Bauer without thinking Keiffer Sutherland. He’s a wuss and his projection of the hero man is a failure. One other thing, for me, when an actor or actress is a total drug/alcohol/leftist idiot I can’t see them as anyone other than their stupid idiot selves. Same goes for The Unit, I used to love the series until I heard the story from a friend of Dennis Haysbert’s treatment of a new USAF Academy officer I realized this man was so loony toons he was filled with conspiracy theories all of which were anti-military. Then go pretends to be this super macho Spec Ops operator. I can tell you my bf IS the real deal not fake like these losers. Here’s the link to the Haysbert story – http://bearcreekledger.com/2007/11/12/star-of-the-unit-spokesman-for-allstate-insurance-anti-military/ if you’re interested.
btw-I love this site.
CONTRIBUTOR: John Nolte – February 10th, 2009 at 5:58 am
This was last night?
——————
My description? Yes, last night.
Re-watching – I have rewatched all of them and they didnt get any better. Episodes 3 and 4 had some good things, but I think episode 5 may have been the worst episode ever, even without Kim Bauer in it.
I was about to watch last night’s episode again and I just couldn’t face.
I re-watched episode 8 last night. Sad. Even fast-forwarding – sad. And I fell asleep 4 times just during the previews for next week.
Bring on the *real* ‘Redemption’!
2/3’s of the season to go. Still hope.
what didn’t you like about this episode? I thought it was one of the best.
Over reliance on weak or dull characters i.e. – everyone in the government this season.
No Chloe or Tony. COB is the 2nd most popular character in the show. To dump her for an episode is madness.
Tony – back from the dead -yet he stays at the CTU 'hotel'? Madness.
Bill – strong character relegated to looking around the room.
Larry the FBI guy – mindnumbingly dull. All he does is become aghast every 10 seconds.
President – dull beyond words. Her husband looks like he runs a general store – dull.
Janice Gray – Bizarro world Chloe clone, though she has some life to her.
FBI agent Renee – keeps calling jack a 'son of a bitch'.
The FBI HQ – jeez – what a dull dull dull looking place to set much of the season.
Black terrorist – Not very menacing inspite of his tough talk and deeds – and that accent!
Prime minister and his prime problems back home – I dont care. And his wife is excess baggage.
Missing the atmosphere of CTU.
Missing the varied LA locations.
Larry the FBI guy helping JB drive down the rogue agent? That's a Chloe task!
Very untaut season so far.
No edge! No sense of impending doom.
That airplane crash in the sky – what!?!?! They show us flames, not planes colliding??
These 'terrorists'. Whatever. Take their problems and go home.
There's more, but….
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