My Secret Life as a Conservative Republican
by John T. SimpsonI’m tired of hiding it. Everybody knows anyway. So it’s time to come clean, just like the Klan hoods I’ve got spinning in the dryer as we speak. It’s time for the Neanderthal knuckle-dragging, open mouth-breathing, racist, sexist, Klan and Timothy McVeigh-loving Montana militia member gun nut conservative Republican religious zealot in me to be set free. Repression is a bitch, and so am I.
I go to bed full of hate and wake up the same. I hate blacks, Hispanics, gays, women, abortion doctors, liberals, Lefties, Democrats, you name ‘em, I hate ‘em if they’re not like me. I especially hate President Obama for being black. Just ask Janeane Garofalo, although being a Stalinist Socialist doesn’t help Obama’s cause any with me. Fact is, Obama could be a GOP Michael Steele Uncle Tom, and I’d still hate him even more than liberals hate Steele. Skin color trumps all. Thank God I was born the right color, or I’d probably kill myself. Wait, the hoods are dry! Be right back.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Joe is my hero and role model, Archie Bunker a distant second, Ted Nugent a close third. I have posters of all of them lining my walls, alongside such conservative Republican heroes as Dick Cheney, George W. Bush, Richard Nixon, Adolf Hitler and Darth Vader.
I used to have one of Robert C. Byrd, but he lost me when he left the Klan and became the Conscience of the Senate. Whatever that means. Didn’t know the Senate had one. But I never understood that. How can a white guy in good conscience leave the Klan? But I digress.
I have a mega-gun collection and a huge stockpile of hollow-point Teflon-coated ammo that’s just itching to be used. Haven’t decided yet on which abortion doctor I’m going to target next. Maybe I’ll just go down to the border and shoot brownskins for sport. dHs, sToP mE BefORe I KilL aGAiN!
And though I really hate homos like the Good Book says I should, I spend a lot of my free time cruising aiport rest rooms and tapping footsies like Larry Craig. If I’m lucky, I’ll get some real teabagging in. If not, I’ll try to get some in at my local Tea Party. Of course, my shotgun wedding Handmaid’s Tale wife with the nice tooth doesn’t know about any of this. She’s usually home watching Jerry Falwell and the “700 Club” most of the day, and role-plays being Sarah Palin for me at night. Is that kinky or what? God, I love my wife! Would never be unfaithful to her with another woman.
As to being with other men, well, nobody in the GOP’s perfect. But it beats being a liberal! Except for the part where they get away with murder, and we get stoned for jaywalking.
Our favorite day is Sunday, named after our favorite radical fire-and-brimstone preacher Billy Sunday. We sing hymns like ‘Onward Christian Soldiers’ and wash ourselves clean in the Lord. Really necessary for me. A conservative Republican can get real dirty during the GOP workweek. Good thing my wife’s family is rich. Her toothless redneck dad gave us a beat up ‘78 Ford pickup with NASCAR and confederate flag bumper stickers and an Easy Rider rifle rack. Pride of the Bayou!
I want war. Lots of it. Want the economy to get a boost? Works every time! Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran! Of course, in the interest of disclosure, I must confess to being a consultant for Blackwater, Halliburton, the Carlyle Group and Big Oil. And so what if we all staged 9/11? Made a ton of dough and dusted enough Islamist ragheads to fill the new Yankee Stadium, didn’t we?
Liberals are such pussies! And screw Global Warming! I WANT the world to burn! Only then can Jesus bring Paradise to earth. Speaking of which, where’s that landing strip for Christ in Yosemite National Park James Watt put on order? Days are gettin’ short! And don’t forget, Jesus is white, and might is right. I’m sorry, what was the problem with slavery again?
Actually, I have to confess yet again. All the above is only what I aspire to be, i.e. the best GOPer Repug Nazi I can be. Like most mortals, I fall far short of my goals and dreams. I don’t even own a gun or hollow-point Teflon-coated ammo, but I support the Second Amendment, which is just as bad. May as well be a co-conspirator with Scott Roeder and James von Brunn.
I detest the corrupt Mengele-like genocidal statutory rape-hiding abortion industry that needs reform even more than Iran’s government, but support a woman’s LEGAL right to choose. It’s the law. Until and unless it’s overturned, what can you do? Shoot up clinics? Ya, in my Rethug dreams!
I’m really not a bathroom footsie player, or like cock and hairy ass in general. But gay marriage is legal in my home state of New Hampshire and I haven’t been sodomized yet, so live and let live. What can I say, I’m weak. And even though as a six-year veteran I believe in General Douglas MacArthur’s axiom that “no one hates war more than the soldier,” sometimes they just gotta be fought if civilization as we know it must survive. Be it a cold war with the Russians or hot ones with Hitler and bin Laden, the dirty deeds must be done. And without quarter until victory is complete.
Fight a war to the end or don’t fight it. You can’t do both. One way assures victory, the other defeat. The Art of Fighting Without Fighting doesn’t work with the abu Musab al-Zarqawis of this world.
Worst of all? I was born and raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Now THAT’S a confession! How can I ever face my conservative redneck Republican sister-banging moonshine-guzzling Zionist drinking buddies at the NRSC and AIPAC again?
I put it all on the table, people. Now, if only liberal Democrat lefties would freely admit to all the world that they’re all hypocritical, mentally disordered, drug-addled, tree-hugging, America-hating, nihilist anarchist recruiting office-bombing, terrorist and dictator-loving, tinfoil hat, limp-wrist pansy spoiled brat full-grown trust fund Stalinist toddlers who couldn’t get gangbanged by the Green Bay Packers hard or fast enough (practice squads included), maybe we’ll get somewhere in this country.
I seek progress, not perfection. We can all sit down together and have one big ideological circle jerk. Get it out of our systems, you know? Hey, we’re all Americans here! Confession is good for the soul. Or your metaphysical, Pagan or Wiccan existential plane of being, depending on your religious or non-religious proclivities and inclinations.
God, I feel so good now. Got it all out. Okay, let’s hear it in the comments section now. No holding back. That includes you, Unrighteous Bubba and Cognitive Dissonant. Tell us about all the kinky things you like to do with tinfoil, Vaseline and vacuum cleaners while watching sick online German porn in your mothers’ basements 
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190 Comments
Uh, wow. Did we really need this? I know you're trying to be funny and to parody the liberal stereotype of the conservative, but I am afraid the column only embarrasses all conservatives, probably only reinforces the stereotypes in liberal readers' minds, and forgets to have a point along the way.
Cloudbuster: Not only that, but I expect this will end up on the DailyKos and HuffPo within minutes as the new conservative manifesto. We'll have to spend useless time in an effort to explain to the already humor-deficient left that it was a parody that fell flat on its face. By tonight Keith Olbermann will be in full attack mode pointing out that somebody slipped and admitted what conservatives really believe. This was a misfire of major proportions, and we'll be doing damage control for months.
Why should it be embarrassing, Cloudy? None of it's true! Well, most of it anyway. As I wrote it, I was reminded of Lenny Bruce's standup routine where he used every epithet in the book to make them all meaningless. That was my point. Put it all out there and show how insane it all is.
I explained to John Nolte that every news report or oped I went to recently contained all these crazy redneck stereotypes like I've listed in the comments section. Sick of it! I could just attack them, but who looks more like fools here? It's like when Chris Rock discussed stereotypes of blacks on SNL.
So it didn't work for you. Hope it does for others. Like screenplays, you either hit or miss. But without risk, there is no reward. Hope you understand my motive, if not my madness
Uh. I. Love. It.
Say it again, please, but with feeling.
The problem is that the left doesn't think these stereotypes are crazy. They believe them, and the mainstream media encourages people to believe them. And they aren't beyond using these quotes out of context to blast the right. Don't feed the left.
Again, and last word. I got writing and laundry to do. WHAT in this column makes it any worse for us? They'll quote me out of context? When DON'T they do that? When does even the most logical and sensible piece posted here at BH not come under tinfoil hat assault?
So KOS and HuffPo use it. So what? That means they have to admit to the Lefty stereotypes I put here too! Good Night and Good Luck!
Whooo, Wheeee Man, i was right along with you untill you got all wussie.
oh hey time fer my banjo lessin'
Mr. Simpson, while reading this, I thought that you may have been channeling the outtakes of the Dean Martin Roasts (now that was GREAT TV). However, Lenny Bruce may well be more accurate and Don Rickles is probably even closer. Regardless, I'm still laughing and hope that the crackheads at PuffyHo and DailySnivelers have fun with it. Nice job sir.
SUA SPONTE
Depending on my mood I might agree wity you. But if anyone really tries to use this as ammunition, is it really worth dignifying it with a response. If people are really that gullible, we ought to be able ti flip it around and win every political race in the country.
I realize some peole are literalists to the core, but i have more faith in America than that.
Depending on my mood I might agree with you. But if anyone really tries to use this as ammunition, is it really worth dignifying it with a response? If people are really that gullible, we ought to be able to flip it around and win every political race in the country.
I realize some people are literalists to the core, but i have more faith in America than that.
I for one appreciate the attempt. Will it do much probably not, but if we all start doing it…
I work with a lot of democrats, they love to bash the right, but if you couch your point in humor or self deprication it disarms them. I usually call my self the "Evil Republican", and then they let me say whatever I want to say and I usually can have a pleasant discussion.
I believe that approaching individuals works where as approaching a group doesn't.
Okay now that I have my normality validated I can get on with the rest of my life!
If left-wingers take this seriously, they've got even fewer brains than I gave them credit for. And the same goes for their sense of humor.
I wish I could agree with you, but we just went through an election where the American people bought into everything they heard in the mainstream media. That includes the phony "hope and change," and everything any conservative has ever said, whether in jest or not, about race, guns and religion. By the time the well-intentioned Mr. Simpson is given the opportunity to respond (if that ever happens), the damage will already have been done. Once the idea has been implanted, a genuine defense of "taken out of context" or "it was a parody" will fall on deaf ears.
John T. Simpson, BH conservative, thought he would kick Big Brother in the 'nads today, to see how fast he can make it to the top of the DHS watch list.
It's always good to clean out that dusty attic in the 'ol nogging and reveal all to the stunted masses. Hope the old fat fart woman killer kenndy will come clean at his soon to be death bed. Botox biddy major A-hole speaker of the brothel in the capital of these United States should also lighten her diapers and confess all about those pay outs and private traveling on Government Airlines. The lists of scum suckers is too darn massive to fully list, but you know who You are!
mirror,mirror on the wall
who's the most satirized of all ?
leftist hippies, rightwing nuts
timothy leary and earl butz.
all that angst keeps spinning 'round
as we hear the lowly,hissing sound
of the snakes in the grass,
warring demographic , or class.
i am feeling so polarized
cause it's Sarah that I idolized.
Im a 6 year Vet under the Clinton Admin., I Love John Wayne, and Ronald Reagen. I am a conservative Republican, and proud of the fact. I went and had a 1 night stand, and I married the women with 3 kids, and still married for 10 years this August. Now here is the kicker….I married into the enemy camp, BIG Democrats, Union members (auto industry) they hated Reagan, and Loved Clinton, and with my Mother -in- Law It's all Bush's fault, SR and JR's. Even when I proved my in law wrong, or proved how bad Unions were…lets just say the day didn't end will. My mother in law even defended attacks on Ted Kennedy saying he was punished already for him killing a girl(I guess because he wasn't president i think)…and She's a Feminist…..Before I married my lovely wife, I never knew people were this hypocritical and total blind or the truth. But there is hope, She watches Fox news and hates Obama.
My thoughts exactly. People will choose to believe this and not see the humor because that is what they ALREADY think of conservatives.
[...] New, daring satirical piece by one of my fave conservative writers, John T. Simpson: My Secret Life as a Conservative Republican. I know a number of liberals will mock it or take it out of context, but heck, who cares… they [...]
Mo: I'm really equally concerned about the average Joe or Jane, sitting on the fence, turning on the evening news and not knowing that this was a parody. They'll hear all the crazy (and actually pretty funny) parts as "quotes from a conservative" and say to themselves "the conservatives really are as bad as I've been told." If he or she happens to be up at 2 AM three weeks later when another six minute "news" segment allows Simpson (or a surrogate) ten seconds to respond, it will be too little, too late.
That guy in the second picture is going to haunt my dreams. Thanks a heap.
True, that.
John, I thought it was funny.
Political satire needs to bite and take chances. So what if HuffPo and DailyKos goes bonkers with this? You can't spend your life worring about how the Left will perceive conservatives. They already treat us like garbage, so I approve of you having some fun and jerking their junkyard dogs chains.
If nothing else, thank you for distracting them for a while to give Sarah Palin a bit of a break from their vicious marginalizing and denigrating. Guess that makes you a bit of a hero… a gun-totin' redneck hero. LOL
Joe? Did someone mention Joe? Hot d@mn! Its good to be recognized for something besides my fabulous witicisms and savant pearls of wisdom. And did I mention my full head of luxuriously white lockes? Umm, that last part wasnt a racist remark. Why, even my boss is black…kinda.
I here you Devin. I think he may show up at my HS reunion this year. Hasn't changed a bit since 9th grade. I guess I should say "pertinear hasn't changed a bit since he warshed his pick'em up truck in the crick". Sorry, you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the redneck outta the boy…
WHAT???!!!
I've got to agree. As a conservative, this troubles me because with a media already universally out to make conservatives look bad, it's a horrible idea to give them any ammo. And that is exactly what this does. There is no indication within the piece that this is meant as parody. We only know it's parody because we don't believe any of it to be true. Other don’t share that belief.
Indeed, anyone trained by the MSM will not share that belief and will readily see this as confirmation of everything the MSM has been saying for years.
Moreover, don't think that you will ever get the chance to respond to those types of charges. They are simply asserted and passed on as truth. Indeed, this is the sort of "joke" that leads politicians to resign and gets employees fired or blacklisted — "don't hire that guy, he's the one who wrote that thing."
That may not be fair, but that's life.
Um. I guess it's satire. Sorry John, that's the best I can say.
Hey, John, you forgot to mention if your wife was barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen of your tornado-tossed trailer.
LULZ!
In every joke there is a kernel of truth. Glad to see you guys getting it off of your chests. Just don't tell David Duke you let the cat out of the bag.
glad to see that you point out the idiocy of stereotyping by engaging in stereotyping. no, i don't take it seriously. but sometimes that shoe does fit.
But when Chris Rock does it, he exaggerates what people believe, then pokes fun both sides. You're just repeating the left-wing stereotype. That's like Chris Rock not saying "Books is like Kryptonite to N….s" and instead saying "Black people don't read."
don't be silly. of course we recognize the tongue in cheekyness of this article. we would never take something out of context and have a field day with it. like say the "wise latina" thing for instance…………..
Outstanding post! I'm still laughing.
To those who think this is going to cause trouble with the libs… So what? Seriously. Why worry what a die hard ideologue has to say.
We've been jumping at our own shadows for too long.
kind of like you guys have been doing with the "wise latina" speech?
You must have read Maureen Dowd today – and the 'liberal' comments that followed. Such open-minded, generous folk!
Dude, honestly? Anyone with a brain can see through the sarcasm. Get over yourselves. We don't need this to make fun of right wing conservatives. We have enough material from when you are being completely serious.
It sounds like you're saying that Sotomayor's entire speech during which she said "wise Latina" and repeatedly called for more emotion and less thinking in judicial decisions was a parody. If that's the case, then her audience didn't get the joke, and you've just proven my point about being careful what you say so it doesn't come back and bite you in the butt.
Clever, but you miss the point. It is important to determine how Sotomayor thinks before she can be lifted to a body like the Supreme Court. We often express our true thoughts in off the cuff remarks. That's why people want to know what she meant — particularly because, on it's face, these comments appear to indicate bias. Add to that decisions like Ricci and her judgment really does become suspect.
This column, on the other hand, is simply failed parody.
sounds like you missed the point of that speech then.
Does anybody remember Richard Pryor's Mudbone character? How much more self-deprecating and stereotypical could it get? I can't believe all the urine running down peoples' legs here. Jesus Christ! And I thought Lefties were bad!
A question, people. If I had never written this parody, what would be different today? And any Lefties like KOS that do use it as ammo, who are too stupid to realize the joke, would just be getting their ammo somewhere else anyway! Show a little humor and backbone will ya? Makes me think of how much Team Oscar must have been trembling before the ministers who told them to apologize for 300 and the Wrestler! Oh my!
Now THAT'S Comedy!
I get it completely. This is what the left thinks, true or not.
All my life I was a registered Independent. I never had one issue with any of my long time Liberal Democrat friends.
Then I voted Republican in the Presidential race (now a registered Republican). That is when the fun began. These same people whom i have known for years (decades for one) now take every opputunity to make off-handed remark suggesting that I'm a racist or a deranged gun owner or whatever. Nothing's changed about me other than my party affiliation, I am the same guy they've known for years, yet now, because I don't like there guy, I'm somehow defective………..
My point is that they will always think of Republicans as you stated, even if they know the exact opposite to be true…..
I got it John. Yeah, it's one of those pieces where I give you credit for trying something a little edgy. The fact that it made most of us uncomfortable reading the piece actually in a way validates what you were trying to do. You are not a fringe crazy nor are the folks who regularly post comments at BH. And yet, so often anyone who is considered a conservative gets painted that way. Having said that, there are probably some old time blue dog Democrats who feel we paint them as the second coming of Sean Penn, and I am actually counting on those people to help us get out of the socialist madness being perpetrated by this over-reaching administration.
BTW Wise Latina, there's a section in there for you, too. The whole drug-addled mentally disordered tree-hugging America-hating tinfoil hat gangbanged by the Green Bay Packers thing? That's for YOU!
"urine running down people's legs"
"Jesus Christ! And I thought Lefties were bad!"
Didn't you invite debate? I guess you only wanted one answer, right?
Way to go for it brother. Your writing continues to impress and is always filled with a wide assortment of links, which I appreciate.
I dig your style, energy and unique voice.
As for our liberal friends? I see no problem, after all we know how much they champion free speech cutting both ways. So everything is coolsville.
Hooray for John T. Simpson and Big Hollywood!
German Porn is sick? The hell you say!
The "wise Latina" remark was not taken out of context, it was the entire point of the speech. If it was parody, what was the point? The whole speech was directed at enhancing the idea that racial and ethnic preconceptions should be part of the appellate process, and considering that she was addressing a largely Latino audience, I doubt she was doing it to make fun of them. The speech was given as part of a lecture series at my alma mater in 2001, so I paid plenty of attention to every word, then and now. It was a direct attack on Justice O'Connor's earlier remark that "a wise white woman and a wise white man would reach the same conclusions." Sotomayor's remark didn't bolster that by saying "and so would a wise Latina," it challenged it by saying "but not a Latina," thus injecting ethnicity into the debate as a factor which would cause her to reach a different conclusion. I don't miss much, and I sure didn't miss that.
Now am I calling you names? No. I guess you don't have anything valid to counter me with, so you have to resort to ad hominems. Typical.
Now THAT"S more like it!
Hooray is right! Let's joke about rape next.
Nice job, John. How many stereotypes did you manage to get into this piece? As for Huffpo's……well…. they only see us this way, so the only harm is that they can site this obviously ludicrous article. It gets butts in the seats, er… people reading on the screen. So…….. why not?
Why are people taking the Lord's name in vain on what is supposed to be a conservative website. Oh well, back to MovieGuide for true conservative insights.
LOL! Who CARES what liberals do with this over-the-top way obvious satire? That's the problem with conservatives- we're generally so nice that we let the mean girls and mean girly men have the day- best to mock, mock, mock, and mock them. Obama's skin is a thin as Rutherford's gold experiment, liberals thinner than that, so I say keep it up!
I don't know about this one John it definitely made me uncomfortable reading this. The humor does not come out the same as it would on stage. Maybe you should have used a video format. I just get the feeling you just gave someone a easy cut and copy new home page.
On a side note tough I sure would like to get me one of them big guns and the ammo to go with it. Just incase people think this is the way republicans think and I need to defend myself against someone that comes to attack me with their feelings.
Don't know if you are actually Latina or not; that you are not wise is obvious.
Wise Latina, a parody of leftists' stereotypical views of conservatives is not confirmation of those distorted views.
Simply wanting it to be true does NOT make it true. Conservatives believe what they see. Liberals see what they believe.
No, I think he is debating. Were you only looking for an apology from him?
Do you mean like this?
http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/260071
For him to actually bother "countering" you, would have required that you said anything more profound than "seriously dude, it's easy to make fun of conservatives when they are being serious." We are all waiting for you to say something interesting (well, actually we aren't, but that's because you don't really have anything worthwhile to say.)
That's , banjer…get it right, Yankee
Man, some people are so uptight.
Personally I loved this piece .
Well, of course we have to call out racists when we see them.
My vote's for not Latina AND not wise.
say are you using the new underarmor hood and gown? I think it works great in these areas of the flyover zone where it gets pretty hot and humid.
Run for it Jethro, I hear banjoes!!!
That is always good to know.
Please pick out of the liberal list your kernal of truth. I will choose for you OK sweety, "mentally disordered, drug-addled, tree-hugging, America-hating"
"If only liberal Democrat lefties would freely admit to all the world that they’re all hypocritical, mentally disordered, drug-addled, tree-hugging, America-hating, nihilist anarchist recruiting office-bombing, terrorist and dictator-loving, tinfoil hat, limp-wrist pansy spoiled brat full-grown trust fund Stalinist toddlers who couldn’t get gangbanged by the Green Bay Packers hard or fast enough (practice squads included)"
don't forget Benny Hill!
So sometimes you engage in the exact same thing that you're berating T-Rav for doing? I guess he got the fewer brains part right.
"Anyone with a brain can see through the sarcasm. Get over yourselves. We don't need this to make fun of right wing conservatives."
As opposed to left wing conservatives?
I agree that "anyone with a brain" will see through the sarcasm. This excludes most "progressives" and many liberals.
Wow… you've got to be pretty out of touch if you think anyone with a brain of any political persuasion wouldn't see this as satire. Even to a "humor-deficient" liberal like myself, it's obvious this is meant to be tongue-in-cheek. My problem with it isn't that it's offensive (it's not), but that it isn't funny. If anything, this is promoting false stereotypes about liberals by being such a lazy excuse for parody.
Newsflash for those of you living in a conservative echo chamber: I, like many Obama voters, get along fine with my Republican family members and friends; I know they aren't mouthbreathing buffoons by sheer virtue of their politics just like they know I'm not humorless, elitist, communist, a pedophile, or a baby-murderer just because I vote Dem sometimes. We laugh together, respect each other, and are able to disagree without resorting to this childishness.
One final curiosity: since when is the right wing so terrified at the thought of offending liberals, anyway?
do you realize that virtually all of them are prohibitted from using penicillin? Research has shown that the overwhelming majority of these cephalic cretins are down to two Betz Cells (these are those really neat neurons that most conservatives have bazillions of). Further testing has revealed that they are connected by a lone and lonely spirochete who despite his despicable nature and background has acquired the equivalent of a government job, keeping what passes for a cerebral cortex "active".( hee heee heee, take this vitamin ms frank, its good for u… )
say, I just love that honkin big gun. Is that a BAR?
Oh and Carlin did pretty much the same thing and the libs with 3 to 4 neurons liked his humor; problem is they won't be able to cross that vast cravass that exists twixt Carlin and you. Not your fault, they shouldnt have been drinkin all that antifreeze and sniffing glue.
I'm with LawHawk while this may be seen as satire from people on the right, it's just more ammunition for the disinformation crowd. Since when has truth ever stood in the way of any conversation you've had with someone on the left. I'm sorry but I didn't really think it was all that funny either because I've heard all this stuff way to many times during any conversation with a leftie and had to debunk every single stereotype that you jokingly reinforce.. I was mainly hoping to hear about that insane looking gun in the picture.
oh you dont have to worry about that she has been camping out in his septic tank conducting surveillance. Look at the bright side, she will probably look and smell better for it.
cloudbuster,
Grow a pair! They think this of us anyway, so why not make it sting less by continually stating it. What could they have remaining to hit us with? It's like gay instead of homo. Say it enough and nobody cares.
speaking of botox biddy, It was really cool the way her face got stuck in one postition for like an hour and a half the other day. I wonder if she is doing the shots herself? If so, then the question of systemic absorption becomes a real issue and the subsequent demise that can and will follow… but who would replace her?
I must be redneck – I thought this was rip-roarin' hil.a.ri.ous!
Since we have a president who is partially of the racial make up of a group that we have been diligently working night and day to keep down. Just watch the news and ask your self, since when has a president of the US been able to make up facts not once not twice but with every single speech. Then ask your self why hasn't there been a crescendo of criticism of the outright lies. There is not enough space to put all of his misstatements in this post but if your not familiar with them let me know and I'll start copy and pasting all of the highly incorrect statements that this president has made. That's the real question.
If you say Bush lied people died and don't back that up with what Bush actually lied about then………there is no more reason to respond because it's not us living in an echo chamber.
Conservative doesn't equal religious… Duh
You can take the liberal out of the sewage, but you can't take the sewage out of the liberal.
Wow. You kind of had me then you lost me when you took the Lord's name in vain. Most people posting here are conservative and on your side. I don't understand why people cannot express themselves without swearing. I didn't even bother reading past your first paragraph.
Did I ever say "Bush lied people died". No, nor have I ever used such a simpleminded phrase to engage in political discussion.
Your post is no response to mine, just a non sequiter and a good excuse to spout off your craziness. What the hell does "Since we have a president who is partially of the racial make up of a group that we have been diligently working night and day to keep down" mean? Are you talking about the fact that he is half-African? I hope you aren't talking about the fact that his father was raised Muslim…
Follow me closely here: Muslim is a religious descriptor. Race is a biological trait. You don't inherit your religion from your parents any more than you inherit an accent or political ideology. Either way, trying to keep blacks OR Muslims down as a blanket policy, if that's what you're suggesting, is beyond reprehensible. If you are trying to undo the supposed stereotypes in this story, you're just shooting yourself in the foot. Good work.
Uh, no it doesn't…
Nah…even those sippy cuppers at MSNBC should get the parody…shouldn't they? You mean they didn't understand the term "compassionate conservative"? Noooooooooo….I can't go on like this…
It's only taking the Lord's name in vain if you say "Jesus H. Christ"…that's totally different…GREAT PIECE JOHN, a masterpiece!
I think I sold the guy with the 50. cal the truck he's standing in front of….cool, Texas.
John, apparently some people have a different standard when it comes to "swearing". That's fine and completely their prerogative. If you people want swearing, I can supply some top shelf, grade A swearing…my retired Air Force combat vet Dad "accidently" taught me to swear…and don't try to lay the "swearing is a bad substitute for a good vocabulary" trip on me either, I can hang with you there as well.
John, apparently some people have a different standard when it comes to "swearing". That's fine and completely their prerogative. If you people want swearing, I can supply some top shelf, grade A swearing…my retired Air Force combat vet Dad "accidently" taught me to swear…and don't try to lay the "swearing is a bad substitute for a good vocabulary" trip on me either, I can "hang" with you there as well.
In a recent argument about same-sex marriage (i'm against it), a lefty asked me why I hated gay people. I answered that it makes them easier to beat up. They didn't know how to respond. They eventually realized I was making fun of them and went away.
For lack of any reasonable argument of their own, lefties like to put you on the defensive by accusing you of being something you aren't, so you spend the rest of the discussion trying to prove to them that you aren't a racist/homophobe/nazi/chickenhawk/fascist religious zealot rather than debating the issue at hand. If you take that gimmick away from them, libs have nothing.
I for one thought it was funny. Unlike a limp wristed, flag burning, vegan, atheist, drug addicted, baby killing, Marxist, Communist, Liberal I can find humor in something like your article without hiring Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, The ACLU, Shawn Penn, Cher, Susan Sarandon, Perez Hilton and entire New Black Panther party to go on ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC, Public Television and CNN to decry how they are all victimized by the offending remarks made in your article. Brahahhahahahhahah. Keep it up.
Oh have to go need to oil my guns and have an appointment for a cross burning… Later.
I think she's a wiseass Latina..
P Mac: When a liberal tells me not to worry, that's when I really start worrying. I'm with the others on this one. It doesn't have anything to do with offending liberals, it's about a very liberal press and TV who will cover it as a news story, completely slanted, and pass it off on the general public as an example of conservative thinking. Even half-assed uninformed talking heads like Geraldo Rivera on supposedly conservative Fox New Channel take stuff like this and run with it as a hot item about conservative racism.
Indeed. The kernel of truth in Mr. Simpson's joke is that no one sets up a straw man like a left-wing moonbat.
And hey, lookie there…you proved him right.
I had a pretty funny reply to your previous post. It was no worse then your article. Geeeez this site it getting more censoring then Sara Palin at a Code Pink convention. Lighten up Breitbart.
Terrified of offending liberals…Me? Never..it's a speciality of mine..I practice at it. I challenge liberal college professors to their faces and DARE them to play "grade games" with me. I force Democrat / liberals / Marxist to defend their inheriantly weak positions. I challenge liberals to explain how they feel comfortable sleeping soundly every night, enjoying the freedoms they seek to destroy with their votes, actions and words. I challenge drivel dripping from liberals mouths like one of my favorites; "Support the Troops, Bring Them Home" at every turn. I ask them why they hate success, until they make some money, themn it's attorney time and tax shelters and hypocrisy that make Teddy "Chappaquiddick" Kennedy BLUSH…offend a liberal, my pleasure.
If you could point out where I made the mistake that you're claiming that I made. At which point did you infer that I was referring to keeping all Muslims down, I'm talking about keeping the black man down silly. Us white toil all day long to make sure that black people don't advance in this society (SARCASM). What you didn't catch was the sarcasm that white's are busy keeping black people down. To keep things clear for you so there isn't any more misunderstanding white people are very busy with living their own lives and providing for their families. Which I'm sure is the exact same thing that black people do. The idea that white people are actually busy keeping black people down is moronic but it's that same moronic idea that is a back seat driver to political discussions. When you have to explain the joke it loses all of it's funniness.
You did not say Bush lied people died I only prefaced that to make sure I was dealing with someone who could actually have a debate about something without throwing in silly nonsensical phrases. I'm gratified to know that I'm writing to someone who hasn't fallen into that pit and for that I salute you and give you a couple of points.
To summarize you completely misunderstood what I was saying and not by a little. I will take personal responsibility for the confusion I've been known to be vague. I was responding to your question when has the right ever been afraid to criticize the left. Personally I didn't think the article was any where near funny. The right is afraid to criticize the president because now we can be beaten over the head again and again about racism and not policy racism has nothing to do with policy. I would love an open debate about ideas.
I'm open to debating political ideologies the problem is that the left rarely basis any of their arguments on political ideology but more so on the feel good nature of things.
If you could point out where I made the mistake that you're claiming that I made. At which point did you infer that I was referring to keeping all Muslims down, I'm talking about keeping the black man down silly. Us white toil all day long to make sure that black people don't advance in this society (SARCASM). What you didn't catch was the sarcasm that white's are busy keeping black people down. To keep things clear for you so there isn't any more misunderstanding white people are very busy with living their own lives and providing for their families. Which I'm sure is the exact same thing that black people do. The idea that white people are actually busy keeping black people down is moronic but it's that same moronic idea that is a back seat driver to political discussions. When you have to explain the joke it loses all of its funniness.
You did not say Bush lied people died I only prefaced that to make sure I was dealing with someone who could actually have a debate about something without throwing in silly nonsensical phrases. I'm gratified to know that I'm writing to someone who hasn't fallen into that pit and for that I salute you and give you a couple of points.
To summarize you completely misunderstood what I was saying and not by a little. I will take personal responsibility for the confusion I've been known to be vague. I was responding to your question when has the right ever been afraid to criticize the left. Personally I didn't think the article was any where near funny. The right is afraid to criticize the president because now we can be beaten over the head again and again about racism and not policy racism has nothing to do with policy. I would love an open debate about ideas.
I'm open to debating political ideologies the problem is that the left rarely basis any of their arguments on political ideology but more so on the feel good nature of things.
Sounds like you don't know who you've tangled with…. Good luck but my money is on LawHawk.
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