Earth Day: Then They Came for the Overweight

by John T. Simpson

For those of you who haven’t caught this crazy Drudge headline, here it is. “Scientists’ Alert: Fatties Cause Global Warming.” It’s really incredible reading. And I do mean incredible. Here’s a peek:

The rising number of fat people was yesterday blamed for Global Warming. Scientists warned that the increase in big-eaters means more food production — a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet. Overweight people are also more likely to drive, adding to environmental damage.

Dr Phil Edwards, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: “Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler.” Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

You know where this is going, right, people? Global Warming (GW) taxes on junk foods, if not all. Will they even dare propose a discriminatory tax on fat people themselves? Wouldn’t put it past them. And all for a massive fraud that is being exposed more and more as such every day.

Polls now show a wide swing in public perceptions of GW as being a real threat. 31,000 scientists signed a petition against GW last year, which may have affected public opinion. And the fact the earth is actually cooling isn’t helping the GW cause any. Neither is the fact that many GW proponents leave carbon footprints the size of Texas wherever they go. What, Me Worry?

I don’t suppose naming fat people as the cause of GW will win any more converts, either. Personally, I sense desperation on the part of GW advocates. All the Chicken Little talk lately, like they have to rush all this stuff through before the jig is up. Like they only have a small window in which to tax and regulate us into the Stone Age before their carbon Ponzi scheme falls apart.

But let us assume, for the moment, that the world really IS flat, and the sky really IS falling.

Though it may be true fat people are responsible for more CO2 than thin people, I’ll bet you Congress not only emits more CO2 than an equal number of fat people, but rivals coal-fired power plants! That’s all they do! Generate money, paper, bills and CO2. Can you imagine the thermal imaging of Congress in full session? See how long a polar bear survives on the Capitol dome!

Never mind the stinky tourists!

I say in order to save the planet, we need to shut politicians up. They’re killing us all. For official sessions, let them all learn sign language, pass notes, write on big whiteboards, or just do PowerPoint presentations. And no more public speeches. We’re trying to save the earth here!

The same goes for GW junk scientists like James Hansen, who even falsified his official GISS report by putting September 2008 temp data into October’s to prove GW, and especially junk Nobel Prize and junk Oscar-winner Al Gore, himself a one-man Global Warming juggernaut who, if GW is true, is going to get us all killed faster than the meteor that wiped out the dinosaurs.

Oh, and President Obama can still speak in public, but without his CO2-generating TelePrompTer. Good luck with that, Mr. President.

My radical approach might not reduce Global Warming in the end. But the blissful silence from Al Gore, James Hansen, American politicans and all the John Nashes of Global Warming junk science, would sure go a long way in improving the mental health of those of us who have suffered these insufferable Chicken Littles long enough.

Oh, and for what it’s worth, I was a Navy-trained Meteorologic and Oceanographic Technician for five years, three in the Western Pacific. Spent years processing sonar and weather data. My professional assessment says GW ’science’ is populist BS that has nothing to do with science, and I’ll go toe-to-toe with any of you on GW, even James Hansen. But it’s not I’d like have to prove he’s a fraud.

My political assessment says that the Great Global Warming Swindle is the biggest attempted money and power grab in the history of mankind. Hell, California even wanted remote regulation of thermostats in private homes! And it’s only going to keep getting worse with taxes, stifling regulations and intrusions of privacy that may target fat people today, but will target us all eventually. Where Communism failed in burying us, GW mania will succeed if given the chance.

You want to have to tangle with some bureaucrat over the phone because your kids have the flu, and you want to turn up your thermostat so they don’t get pneumonia? You want the Thermal Police scoping out your house, like in Britain? You want to pay a tax to breathe? What if you can’t pay?

The Bar is Open for comments.

Speaking of which, I really love the comments on the SUN article about fat gassers. I particularly liked the one that read “Progressives Next Move: Turn fat people into soylent green wafers.” It was the ‘green’ part that laid me out. How spooky is THAT?

The author is an engineering technician with two patents, a part-time writer and guerrilla journalist who believes in sensible energy and conservation policies, unlike some people. He is unaffiliated with ExxonMobil, Shell and Big Oil, though if he wanted to strike it rich, he’d praise GW science, start a carbon credit company and apply for multiple federal grants. If he had a con man streak, that is.

Not stupid. He knows where the real money is!


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Posted Apr 22nd 2009 at 10:15 am in Politics | 169 Comments