Some Tough Questions For Team-Oscar’s Iran Follies
by John T. SimpsonWhen Team Oscar lands on the Red Carpet at LAX, they’ll tell us what a joy it was sharing tea, finger cookies and film seminars with the hostage-takers, women-stoners, blogger-killers and gay butchers of Iran. As a public service of the VISIBLE Press, I will ask the tough questions Team Oscar will never hear from the Invisible Press. See, Invisible Press, I kill myself! Okay, people, presser coming up.
On With The Show!
EXT. RED CARPET AT UNFRIENDLY SKIES AIRLINER, FLIGHT 666, LAX RUNWAY – DAY
TEAM OSCAR descends the staircase to FLASHING LIGHTS and WILD APPLAUSE. They WAVE.
SUDDENLY an impudent VISIBLE REPORTER SHOVES the INVISIBLE PRESS aside and LEAPS onto the RED CARPET, offending all with his visibility and impudent hard-hitting QUESTIONS:
First of all, Team Oscar, why did you even go in the first place? Even worse, why did you go when you knew there was a ‘Gay Genocide’ going on in Iran? Kinda took the wind out of Sean Penn’s and Dustin Lance Black’s speeches at the Oscars, didn’t it?
You know, schmoozing in the epicenter of today’s Auschwitz for Gays?
Second, how did it feel to get totally punked? Repeatedly? Did you apologize for “300″ and “The Wrestler?” Or for the 30 films still in production Iran didn’t like? Or did you all just commiserate together about the True Evil in the World, The Bushitler?
If no apologies were given, why were you granted access to your heel-ground Iran film buddies not long after? What’s up with that? And who were you giving film seminars to? Your heel-ground filmmaker buddies? Or these Iranian Goebbels-like propaganda film industry stooges?
Mr. Ganis, I have a Question! You said the following during your vacation to Hell!
“Iran has the potential of making “big movies” if it can attract investment to cinematic marketing.”
Mr. Ganis. How can Iran attract film financing with all the sanctions on them, and with more to come?
Did you ask about captive American citizen and now-hostage Roxana Saberi? Did the matter of the Gay Holocaust in Iran come up in conversation? Hear any screams from Evin Prison? Did you a know an innocent blogger who was jailed for insulting one of their Supreme Asswipes died in Evin Prison as you shared tea and finger cookies with the Islamist Nazis who murdered him?
Did you enjoy the colorful genocide parades for Omar Bashir in downtown Tehran? Did you know that your not leaving, not speaking up, or taking no action at all, made you silent participants to those genocide parties? Any good sex slave parties after? Stumble across any mass graves? You wouldn’t be the first filmmakers in Iran to make that cultural discovery!
Did you get to take in some of the local color? Any boffo public floggings? Lively stonings? Any cheery public hanging of gays by crane wires? See any “Burn The Great Satan Obama” rallies? Catch any “DEATH TO AMERICA, DEATH TO ISRAEL” missile parades? Was it hard to see all of this Iranian Thugocracy ‘culture’ with your burqas on? Can you even see at all?
Speaking of which, Ms. Bening and Ms. Woodard, why didn’t you make a defiant statement to Iranian women by wearing Western dress the whole time, instead of letting the Mad Mullahs wrap you up like mummies so you look like all the other oppressed women in Iran? Were your burqas in order?
Lastly Team Oscar, did you know that your cultural junket to today’s Third Reich could not have been
more naive or ill-advised than it if had been to the original?
No answers forthcoming on the hard-hitting questions this Visible Reporter has asked. None expected. Team Oscar will depart their Carnival of Ghouls Roadkill Show in Iran and climb right back into their Golden Bubbles in Hollywood. The Invisible Press and their PR reps will make all the bad stuff go away in ways that even Big Brother would marvel at.
And I, your Visibile Press Reporter and Humble Narrator, will remain invisible.
Much as Roxana Saberi herself has been made an unperson by all.
If they can all make HER disappear, what chance do I have?
If only we could do a hostage trade, Team Oscar for Roxana Saberi, all would be well in the world 
PRESSER CONCLUDED
Oh, one last thing. Here’s some contact pages to help free the REAL American hero in Iran!
Here’s the White House. Here’s the State Department. Here’s Congress.
Here’s some for the Invisible Press: the New York Times, CNN, FOX, ABC, NBC, CBS, and AP.
You can even give Sean Penn, Dustin Lance Black and Team Oscar a shout-out over at AMPAS
FREE ROXANA SABERI! NOW! LIKE RIGHT NOW!
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39 Comments
Bravo Mr. Simpson!
I'd love to see all of those questions answered by those people. Actually, I'd settle for them answering at least one in a coherent and honest fashion. There are also many more questions that they could, and should, have been asked by the media upon their return from Iran, but that list is definitely a good start.
The generation ahead of mine had a name for the newspaper reporters, movie stars, and Hollywood writers who traveled to Stalin's worker's paradise and came back with glowing reports. They were called "Fellow Travelers." You know what I'm talking about. It was during the time of the "witch hunts" that didn't find any witches but found a whole lot of subversive communists. They never had a name for the pundits and politicians who cozied up to Herr Hitler before 1939, but "bastards" would do nicely. None of them ever killed, maimed, tortured, raped, oppressed, or enslaved anyone personally, but like the "Team-Oscar" fellow travelers, they were complicit in the imprisonment, subjugation and death of millions of victims. R. Lee Ermey would ask them "What is your malfunction?"
The Three Stooges on parade. No doubt they'll be awarded ambassador medals for bravery at the next Oscars. I can almost hear their tearful speeches now…
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
Bill Maher getting punched. Better than Sex… and on the lame gameshow for pretend celebs Pictionary and done by Eric Estrada, AND his total wussiness. I loved it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufGml7lRoMc Start at about 2:59 to see it in all its glory
Well, here's hack Gregg Kilday's latest audition for Peter Bart so obviously the trades still aren't asking any real questions.
But guys like Gary Sinise are an antidote to the constant celebrity crapcast. Kudos to CNN for giving him an OpEd page.
Alexander, you sweet sweet man… it IS better than sex!
*MissQuinn*
American women traveling to a country the subjugates women to a breeding / cooking / cleaning role, that's great. The gayest (is that a word?) area in the nation, Hollywood (sorry Austin, Key West, San Fran) sending delegates to the most homophobic and deadliest place for gay people on earth, that makes sense. Hollywood should put a clothes pin on their collective, liberal, plastic surgically reduced noses and send a delegation to a place they should be seeking peace and reconciliation with; lets start with Topeka, Kansas. Then roll on down to Amarillo, Texas and on to Birmingham, Alabama. Maybe a diner in Bozeman, Montana, a Walmart in Flagstaff, Az. How 'bout a Walgreens in Kankakee, Illinois or stay at a Motel6 in West Memphis, Arkansas? Make peace with US first!
Useful Idiots is another good term hearkening back to the good old days as well.
The sad thing is they seriously don't see their actions for what they really are, enabling genocidal lunatics by giving them a veneer of civility, respectability and cultural equivalency.
Obama made much the same mistake with his "Nowruz Message to the Iranian People" which was broadcast to them. At least in my opinion.
LawhawkSF – Console yourself that one of the biggest publishers of those 'fellow travelers' is finally paying the price. The NY Times owes a billion and Pinch can't get a loan to pay it off 'cause his $55 stock has now tanked at $4. Lies just aint the gold mine they used to be. (Maybe Pinch can sell Duranty's Pulitzer for a down on that $400 million coming due in May?)
I'm glad these open minded women made it back here to preach of the great things taking place in Iran. I would say lets not just stop at niceties and pleasantries of a proud nation, let's invite them to run Hollywood.
The epicenter of culturalism that is Iran should have a place to thrive in CA. I say the mayor of Hollywood should pack up and move out and let the Ayatollahs run the town.
Why should we not get to see all those great movies that Iran is putting out movies about how terrible the US is and how evil Israel is. Oh wait the Iranian mindset is already in Hollywood and these are the movies that we're getting from them. Now I just want to see Hollywood live under Shia law and perhaps then they will see the error of their sanctimonious and hypocritical ways.
Watching Bill Maher get clocked was definitely the best part of my day, even if it was by accident. Thank you for a bright spot in a cloudy day.
Exactly, Dave. Bringing in anti-American movies from Iran would be redundant.
Redundant and also could be considered outsourcing as well. Although since it would be outsourcing they'd agree with, I doubt much of a fuss would be made over it.
It makes about as much sense as the "gays for Palestine" people I have seen from time to time in Anti-Israel rallies. Somehow I do not think Gaza is welcoming to homosexuals.
Truly the left can forgive anyone their sins except the right. Mass murders are welcome but please do not ask for tax cuts.
It makes about as much sense as the "gays for Palestine" people I have seen from time to time in Anti-Israel rallies. Somehow I do not think Gaza is welcoming to homosexuals.
Truly, the left can forgive anyone their sins except the right. Mass murders are welcome but please do not ask for tax cuts.
Very good point there on the disconnect. If someone tried to organize a Gay Pride Day for Gaza City, they'd find out to their mortal peril exactly how accommodating the Palestinians would be. And yet at the same time, there has been an annual one in Tel Aviv for some time now.
Very good point there on the disconnect in logic. If someone tried to organize a Gay Pride Day for Gaza City, they'd find out to their mortal peril exactly how accommodating the Palestinians would be. And yet at the same time, there has been an annual one in Tel Aviv for some time now.
All too true. We really do live in a topsy-turvy world, don't we.
Hey, I liked the Stooges. Another name please.
Quit commenting and figure out a way to actually do that presser!
Lets shoot all the movies in Iran. Then, when Israel lets fly, well, the idiot population will decrease quite quickly.
How about Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, See No Evil.
I was thinking along the lines of Appeasing Morally Relativist Iranian Propaganda Tools, but that's a little wordy too.
Hmm, how about Iranamaniacs?
Iranamaniacs? I like it. It's catchy. If nothing else, these three ladies can use it for the name of their garage band.
Hehe.
You know right after I posted that comment I had a similar thought, along the lines of it sounding like an 80s girl band. On the bright side they could made a music video for "Walk Like a Persian" or something to raise awareness that burkhas can be both sexy and comfortable too maybe?
Oh, that's good. And it definitely sounds like something they'd try to do to brainwash the masses. I know I can't wait to buy mine. Not.
I've been told that in anything above about 50 degree weather they're unbearable, so I'd advise against rushing out to buy one based on so-called comfort levels no matter how well Annette Benning fronts the band in the commercial.
I've been told that in anything about about 50 degree weather they're unbearable, so I'd advise against rushing out to buy one based on so-called comfort levels no matter how well Annette Benning fronts the band in the commercial.
We should send Clay Aiken and Melissa Etheridge to do a "Good Will Tour," "Share The Music!" event. Heck, let's toss in Madonna too, see what the Iranians think about her, we'll even send some copies of her Sex book as gifts for Iranian officials. Gotta love that fun Iranian attitude of understanding and tolerance!
OK, is this the M.O.?
These clowns sincerely believe, from their place of self-importance, they're somehow annointed & magically gifted to effect change on an historically nefarious culture of intolerance and torture? Izzat it?
PS to Annette & Alfre: cool new website! http://www.freeroxana.net
Travel Tip: next time, GOOGLE keywords "disappearing American female journalists" before you leave for your next Save the World junket to places such as "today's Third Reich."
I welcome these fools making idiots of themselves. Though I'm sure there's plenty of Iranians against their oppressive government, their government does a good job of disquieting them while continuing their own insane authoritarianism. These dimwit entertainers will/do look like fools in the face of the un-clinching Iran.
The video of Mahar getting smacked is hilarious. I never saw nor heard of that show. Mahar even looked like a feeble bore playing the game. He is one of the most all-around pathetic people in the public eye.
As long as American society absurdly worships celebrity, we are so screwed.
And there you have it. The people behind Global Warming. Iranian women in burqas are perpetuating this myth, so they won't have to revolt against Iranian men. It's much easier to get the rest of the world to buy ridiculous lightbulbs than to go against Sharia law.
I do like Iranamanicas – but how about Three Blind Mice? Except that might be an insult to mice.
Did they ask how much they liked Milk? I don't think that disparaged Iran at all. Maybe Sean Penn can take over a copy and personally screen it with them?
Yeah it would be. Hmm, how about Three Stoned Harpies?
You know because they're extreme rock(throw)ers over there too?
I got nothing.
Tax cuts are the root of all evil. A Democrat told me so.
[...] So, Mr. Ganis did sum it all up quite accurately. Iran’s blockbuster film industry is booming. Especially the kids’ stuff. However, you won’t find Tom and Jerry, Harry Potter, Chicken Run or “POTC: Dead Man’s Chest” on Iran TV. They’re all Ziono-Hollywoodist conspiracies, you see. But child martyrdom cartoons? Oscar Gold! [...]
i've totally boycotted anything promoting the life of a celebrity. i'd rather stare at a wall for 12 hours at work than read one of the magazines with barry on the cover and stories about reese witherspoon shopping. a try to keep my life drama free without worry about the drama of people who are beyond self absorbed.
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