King of the Blacks
by Joseph C. PhillipsMy wife and I have big dreams for our children. We want nothing for them but health, happiness and success and we recognize that a good education can be a step towards realizing that goal. We also demand that our children perform up to their potential. The skills one learns in school – study habits, attention to detail, and meeting deadlines – are essential for success in the work world. In this we are like every other parent in America.
However we are also Black parents of a certain generation and so the subtleties of race continue to speak to us and they are very real. Sometimes we are not sure if we are responding atavistically to the faint smell of something in the air or if what we are hearing are the soft echoes of our own imaginations. It’s sometimes impossible to tell, which is why race and issues associated with race (to coin a phrase from the late Ralph Wiley) continue to make Black People want to shout.
Last week I had what my parents’ generation used to call a “come to Jesus meeting” with my 7th grade son. His mid-term report card arrived in the mail. His mother and I were under-whelmed.
The comments on my son’s report card indicated that he is under the mistaken impression that school is for socializing and his grades reflect a rather lackluster effort at best. I went “old school”: after a brief lecture he received some tactile encouragement to start taking care of TCB.
There are many black students at my son’s middle school, but he is one of only three in the highly-gifted magnet program within the school. The HGM is a program restricted to students that score 99.9% on an intellectual assessment test. One of three! That doesn’t leave much wiggle room to be the black kid that can’t cut it, that clowns in class or that falls behind.
One of Three.
Last year I attended the honor roll ceremony and the vast majority of the students receiving certificates were Asian. I didn’t enter the auditorium prepared to count heads, but it was hard to miss the fact that every other child walking across the stage had an Asian surname. Nor was it difficult to miss the three Black faces sitting amongst the rows of eager and happy students.
Conventional wisdom says that black parents are less actively involved in their children’s education; that there exists an anti-intellectualism in the black community such that academic achievement is seen as acting white; that Black students do not read or write as well as their white and Asian Counterparts and that the middle class achievement gap is due to racism as opposed to a gap in work habits. In addition, convention says Black boys are angry, prone to violence and better athletes than they are academics. And sometimes we black folk do things that play into the mythology.
My son told us about a Korean girl in his class whose opinions command influence among the other Asian girls in the school, or at least she thinks they do. According to my son, the students refer to her as the “queen of the Asians.” She is a straight-A student.
My son’s little brother asked if there was a “Queen of the Blacks” at the school.
“Well,” my son replied, “there is a king of the blacks.”
“Who is that?” his little brother asked.
My son responded, “He is this boy that got held back last year.”
I cringed.
My wife cringed.
No doubt there is more to the story but on its face it is damning. How is it that the “queen of the Asians” is a straight “A” student while the “king of the Blacks” is the kid that flunked 8th grade?
This – however badly we wish it wasn’t so – is the paradigm concerned Black parents are battling. This is what distinguishes us as parents from the parents of our son’s non-black friends. This is why his mother and I feel a tremendous pressure that our son NOT be the black kid that can’t make the grade; why we have no patience for shucking and jiving – why we are not satisfied with a B average. We cheat him if we do not push him to be better, if we do not demand that he achieve. If he does not reach his fullest potential he cheats us. “To those to whom much has been given…” My son has been tremendously blessed and he is now charged with carrying the banner of the people. It may not be fair, but that is the way of the world.
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113 Comments
Wow. what a story. Keep up the difficult and good work with your son. I went through this with my son (who is white and came from a wealth family) and had some real come to Jesus chats with him.
It finally worked and he got his stuff together. It can work.
BTW-If you haven't read it, I recomend Tom Sowell's autobiography.
A great read.
Thank you for sharing. Your attitude towards education mirrors that of my parents and grandparents. My paternal family is white while my maternal family is Cuban. I was an A student and eventually obtained a science Ph.D. The families of all of my "A student" peers also valued education irrespective of their race or ethnicity.
Wow…what a great article. But you must realize you will be mocked by other black people for your views and opinions. Remain strong and your kids will grow up to be exactly what you want them to be, happy and successful in whatever careers they choose.
what Robert Bork called "the soft bigotry of low expectations" is a scourge of all minorities. i did a brief stint as a substitute in a bi-lingual class some years ago and was appalled at how little was expected of the bright little latino kids. i wanted to go back and slap their regular teacher- and he was latino. i don't know if he was trying make things easy for them (only in the short run, of course) out of misguided sympathy or just a lazy union jerk.
Great article. A good look at what it is like in the shoes of some black parents. You may have extra pressures, but the pressures are coming from the right place. Your son is lucky to have you.
One of the greatest crimes in our communized and liberalized education system is students like the fellow who was held back are in the same building with your son. In the not too distant past a child that could not handle academic work was redirected to a different career path. There use to be no dis-honor in this – frankly I wish this happened to me. Never the less; do not lose your child to the vagaries of life; fight like your sons life depends on it, because it does.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Big Hollywood and Fernando Colon, DNC DUDES. DNC DUDES said: BUZZ! King of the Blacks: My wife and I have big dreams for our children. We want nothing for them but h… http://bit.ly/5tOFs8 #tcot @cnn [...]
thanks Joseph. a great article, and one that give me a glimpse into one of the most perplexing things i've ever tried to understand. sadly, to even begin this sort of dialogue is to risk having the bony finger of racism pointed our way. keep on sharing!
Wow. I should be surprised, but I'm not. Being "street" is more important than being smart, wise, educated…whatever other descriptor you want to use. Cool is immediate and fleeting. Cool rules.
THIS IS AN ASTONISHINGLY HONEST AND ACCURATE- IN REGARDS TO THE CURRENT STATE OF THE POPULAR VIEW OF ACADEMIC ACHEIVEMENT OF BLACK YOUTH BY BLACK YOUTH. YOU CANNOT MOVE FORWARD IF YOU DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU STAND CURRENTLY… MR. PHILLIPS HAS HIT THE BALL OUT OF THE PARK ONCE AGAIN… GOOD FOR YOU MR. PHILLIPS, FOR RAISING YOUR CHILDREN WITH SUCH HIGH STANDARDS KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK; AND ALSO FOR NOT BEING AFRAID TO GET "TACTILE" WHEN NEEDED!!! THE BLACK COMMUNITY, AND INDEED, THE WHOLE COUNTRY NEEDS MORE PARENTS LIKE YOU…. BOTH MY PARENTS WERE TEACHERS IN THE CLEVELAND CITY SCHOOLS AND FROM YEARS OF EXEPRIENCE, THE MAIN PROBLEM THE KIDS HAVE THERE IS– WHAT THEY COME TO SCHOOL WITHOUT BY THE TIME THEY REACH SCHOOL AGE. AND, PERHAPS, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING THEY LACK IS THE PROPER VIEW OF ACADEMIC ACHEIVEMENT & WHAT IT REALLY MEANS….
Your children are very fortunate. If only ALL children, Black, White, etc., had such parents. Keep up the good work.
Joseph you and your wife are to be commended for being the people that you are. You must stay the course and try to help your son take race out of the equation. He is already one of the three best BLACK students in the school. He may see himself as having already won the victory when the battle has just begun. Remind him that being the best is being the best, no matter color, culture, religion or any other qualifier that people want to attach. Tiger Woods, (despite his personal flaws), IS the BEST golfer. Michael Jordan, (in my opinion), IS the BEST basketball player to have ever played. Albert Pujols will become the BEST player in baseball history if he continues at his current pace. You see, when you are the best, no qualifier is necessary.
One more thing Joseph, in words credited to Vince Lombardi when trying to motivate the Green Bay Packers, (paraphrased), even though you, (or your children), will never be perfect, (except maybe in the eyes of their grandparents), in the struggle to achieve perfection you will become excellent.
Thank you for a forthright glimpse into difficulties that most of us can relate to, but can in no wise fully understand.
It was refreshing, informative, and more importantly, honest in a way that many of us had no idea was necessary until this moment. More, please!
Well, what do you expect when your role model gets a Nobel Peace Prize for being President while Black?
Please stop shouting.
Did you mean that to come across as bad as it sounds?
Our city in New Mexico has a drop out rate of 47%. Nearly half of all high school students drop out before graduation and NO ONE seems to care. I guess the Democrats, who hold nearly all local, state and national offices, will take care of them when they discover that they can't find employment. Keep on your son's back; he may resent it now, but he will thank you later.
No doubt there is more to the story but on its face it is damning. How is it that the “queen of the Asians” is a straight “A” student while the “king of the Blacks” is the kid that flunked 8th grade?
It's the soft bigotry of low expectations; democrats/liberals do not believe blacks are capable of performing on the level of whites which is why they promote affirmative action and went so far as trying to "teach" ebonics in Los Angeles public schools because they believed black students were incapable of speaking proper English. For those who can see it's plainly obvious who the racists are. Secondly it's in the democrats best interest that black and minority students do not receive a proper education. If these kids were actually educated and knew what the democrats have been doing to them they'd beat them to death with their "liberal guide to fisting" textbooks.
You see this phenomenon on display in Copenhagen where the third world nations are wising up to the Western nations that are slipping ruffies in their drinks as they aim that phallic shaped AGW scam towards their posterior.
Thank you for writing this essay.
I am not sure what you mean here:
"Remember that the most important thing is your long term relationship and his ability to trust you."
That is your opinion only, not fact. It's his child, his family and his life. Something about your post stinks.
"Remember that the most important thing is your long term relationship and his ability to trust you."
Actually, the most important thing is doing everything within his power to help ensure that his child succeeds in life. If he does that the long term relationship and trust you speak of will take care of itself.
This is one of the best articles I've ever read on Big Hollywood. It addresses an issue that really needs to be addressed, but IMO rarely is addressed honestly because to do so would probably result in liberal cries of "racist" or "Uncle Tom". (Can't believe that last one is still around…)
I'm white and when I was in high school (back in the day) I can still remember feeling uncomfortable with my classmates reaction when I'd score high on a test, thereby screwing up the curve for everyone else. It made me cringe that the teachers felt the need to announce our scores as they handed us our graded tests. Being smart was not considered cool. It was more important to be pretty and popular, have the right clothes, be a jock or a cheerleader, partying and hanging out with the other cool kids than to do well in school. Your social status was much more important, day in and day out, than your grades. Luckily for me, it never occurred to me to purposely not do well.
I can't even begin to imagine how much worse it is these days with the way the education system seems to have deteriorated over the years. Toss in the "acting white" issue and the "soft bigotry of low expectations" and I wonder how many Black and Latino kids are being cheated out of an education and an exceptional future in the name of political correctness and patronization.
Mr. Phillips, your kids are incredibly fortunate to have you and your wife as parents. And if they might not appreciate it at this point in life when you're all over them about their grades, I'd bet every cent I have that the day will come when they will thank you for holding them to a higher standard.
You make a great point about how the cultural environment effects how much a child will feel the need to perform in school. It's very much like peer pressure, though it flows through the community from all generations. I went to school in Japan and experienced the Asian culture's attitude toward academics first hand. The pressure to perform is intense. I've never worked so hard in my life and I very quickly understood why so many Japanese students burnout (and commit suicide) as a result. Their attitude is that the college one attends will determine their whole future success, which is good from a scholastic viewpoint, but can make one feel hopeless if they don't get into the college of their choice. At least that's what I was told by the Japanese students I knew at school.
So I can understand why Asian families are so competitive when entering the U.S. system. It's part of their mindset, but let's face it, they know that we don't have the same work ethic when it comes to academics and that gives them a huge leg up and incentive to outperform those of us who grew up here. They know what the American dream is — even though too many Americans have forgotten. Good job keeping your son on the right track Joseph. He's lucky to have a dad with his priorities in place.
That was a great read. I understand your concern about race. But in the end I truly believe you and your children will make their destiny and it will stand on its own. I still believe that family effort, education and moral direction will send all our children out into the world with the best tools.
I appreciate your story and concerns, but I am assuming your children attend public schools. I've lived in the metro DC area my entire life. If you want to avoid another "King of the Blacks" story, send your children to private school. I don't accept the excuse that its financially impossible. I'm a divorced parent who was heavily in debt after the split.. I worked two jobs, seven days a week, for nine years so my daughter never had to step one foot in the public schools that are in my area, which are horrible in my opinion. Because of tuition costs, I've lived in low-rent housing the entire time she's been in school (K-12), and did without what most people would consider basic necessities nowadays. She is currently applying to five colleges, two Ivy League, and all of which are ranked in the top thirty nationally in academics. She has a GPA of 4.28 and takes nothing but honors and AP courses. She's also a christian and politically conservative ( a big added bonus). [continued]
In all of this, I never asked or received help, other than applying for financial aid once, which was declined. Her education was worth every sacrifice, and as a parent, I would do anything to ensure that she has the best education possible to better compete in the future job market.
I've read several of your articles and admire your thoughtful opinions. However, complaining about the schools your children attend is useless. Conservatives already know public schools are academically and morally bankrupt. I even know of several private schools in my area that have gone the other way. My best advice to you is to put your children in a good, conservative, private school or home school yourself.
Please keep the articles coming.
"Middle school is so much harder than it used to be." Really!
I've been an educator for over 25 years. A majority of the Middle school (or Junior High) students I encounter have quite a bit of difficulty with what used to be 4th, 5th or 6th grade work. It's even more severe in Senior high. The curriculum has been "dumbed down" across the board so these precious little snowflakes won't fail, or even struggle, so as to not damage their fragile self esteem.
A combination of parents who expect results without actual effort, a public school system more interested in indoctrination than education, and tremendous financial rewards for simply moving students forward (and classifying as many as possible as "special needs" in the process) has resulted in multiple generations of young people without the knowledge, skills, or interest required to acutally succeed as adults.
By the way, I hope you're enjoying your parenting skills class …
You're way out of line, mister.
Speaking of indoctrination…I saw a good editorial cartoon yesterday. Kid talking to dad: "Dad, my teacher says if you ride your bike the 10 miles to work instead of driving your car and then ride the bike back home the same 10 miles you could save the life of a polar bear!" Dad to kid: "What is 10 miles plus 10 miles?" Kid to dad while shrugging shoulders: "1010?".
All of America could use a little of this!!!
Hear, hear!
With parents like you, your children have already won the lottery!
Strangely enough, that is not uncommon where Dems have long held power. Watch Crowder's latest video on this site. It is about Detroit. And yet…the handouts keep coming, and the people long held back by the "bigotry of low expectations" Dems keep voting for them.
The chilling reality is that some black leaders and black members of the community will condemn you for what you are doing and point to the school, the district, the municipality and the state for the "inherent racism" that allowed the "king of the blacks" to be held back a year.
I am republican and conservative and long for the time when all Americans are judged on their merit and all of our children get the same opportunity to excel and are then, rightly, held responsible by society for their own performance without sensational media, without pointing fingers, with no mention of color.
Hahahahaha….good one!
I specifically read through these comments, because I KNEW that at least one person was going to write the sort of progressiveliberal response you wrote. Knew it!
Considering the way corporal punishment was meted out in the past, not only by school administrators, but also parents, it is a magnificent wonder that the U.S. led the world to the moon and most other technological, scientific, and creative endeavors, isn't it? And, for a lot of boys, it did that with a textbook down the rear of their pants to soften the blow.
If one puts one's finger on the approximate time when parenting and education began to slide downward in this country it was the advent of the Dr. Spock baby and child advice books.
Absolutely! Kids already have friends. They need parents – not parents who want to act like friends.
And Dr. Spock did NOT use any adivce, that he gave to others, in raising his own kids.
Great article. Your child has something going for him that a lot of kids lack … a dad who cares. When he becomes a young man of 23 he will have the confidence to move mountains because he was loved as a child. His grades may or may not be as good as his peers, but his overall character will be superlative because you were there for him. This will be a huge advantage as he breaks forth into the world and all it takes is for you to be there as he discovers life and all of its complexity.
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That was a great piece. I applaud you for the interest you take and the time you spend with your children. It really makes all the difference.
I have a friend who works in a school in the Bronx and she just shakes her head sadly at the way so many of the kids have absolutely no encouragement or guidance from home. Another friend was teaching in a lower Manhattan school and was caught by surprise when a young student shoved a photo of her nearly newborn baby in his face. Then he was that much more disturbed when all the girls around him started cooing and comparing the photo to their own babies. Nary a dad in sight.
Keep up the good work.
I am proud that there are still exceptional parents like you in America.
Great post. It is unfortunate that a tough kid who fails their grade is held up as the bigshot while a straight A black student is looked at as a nerd or trying to be white. I am sure people like Colin Powell, Condi Rice, Walter Williams all felt the same way as your son. Teach them the right way and hopefully your son will be the next Walter Williams.
I understand what you are saying.
it does play into "self-esteem" being a meaningless concept that is applied to a black president in a way that would never happen to a white in that same circumstance. *Bill tried very hard to qualify and must have been ticked when 0 got it for nothing.
Not every remark that involves race is racist.
Corporal punishment? A spanking is far from a beat down. But I guess it's only fair since his son may torture him one day by playing music too loud.
I'm grateful that my parents took such tight control raising me, and that's how I'm raising my kids.
Grading on the curve used to bug me. I went from a private elementary school where your grades were based on your own ability to a public school where your grades were based on how well others did. I was taught that getting 95% on a test means I got 5% wrong, that it was like I only took $95 instead of $100.
I thought it was the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Until, of course, the pass or not pass grading scale.
Good for you and your wife. This is what needs to happen in more homes in America.
And good for you admitting your use of "tactile" encouragement. That sort of punishment actually works.
Dr Spock's son killed himself… that says it all right there. We are now down to suicide rates being reported fo 8 yr. olds.
When kids were getting spankings they were not fodder for the suicide mills.
Danger.CAP content approaching 100 percent. Danger. AXLSLASH has reached all caps status. Please evacuate immediately.
Parenting is like war: a series of mishaps, lost opportunities and outright failures that (hopefully) end in victory.
"Start" and "stop" behavior? Sorry, but this mostly sounds like liberal "this-is-how-you-should-raise-your-kids-that-aren't-mine" dreck-teaching.
Everything in this article shows that Mr. Phillips knows exactly what he's doing when it comes to raising his child. Don't be so worried about what type of child-raising goes on in someone else's house. That's what the liberals do, and it sucks.
The best thing my mom ever did for me was let me know I could trust her – to enforce her standards! She was unyielding in her expectations for grades and conduct. And yes, it got "tactile" once in a while when necessary.
High expectations in the face of peer pressure isn't just a black thing, though. We moved to the deep south when I was in 5th grade, and even though we'd come from Oklahoma schools, I was still ahead of most of the other students in my new school. There, it was uncool to speak with good grammar, to get good grades, to be more interested in reading than in football. The majority of parents and kids were proud of just getting by, and hardly any kids were expected to go to college. Attending Community College was considered a big deal. It hurt (some days, physically) to be a nerd, a "band fag," a teacher's pet. Luckily, mom didn't care about any of that, and the expectations for me never wavered.
I now live in an affluent suburb, mostly white Republicans. The expectations from parents for all kids are higher across the board. Both of my kids are in the gifted program. And I am having similar issues with my 4th grade son that you are – it's more fun to make the other kids laugh; easier to not focus on the schoolwork and just get by. I'll be damned if I'm going to let him "flunk out" of the gifted program, but it requires constant vigilance. (And I won't take the route of some of my friends and start treating him like he has a "Disorder." He's a boy.)
So it's not just a black thing. Keep pushing, stay on him, be his standard-bearer not his friend. He'll love you and thank you for it once he matures. Good luck and God bless.
You're way out of line, mister.
Sounds like Santa Fe…..I lived there for a year while stationed at Los Alamos. I was stunned at the schools in SF and their casual attitude about everything. The white liberals did not care…they only gathered on street corners to "Bash Bush" as if it was intramural sports……
I'm surprised by some of the comments taking exception to the term "tactile encouragement" and its implications. It sounds to me like the author spanked the boy principally for misbehaving in school, not for less than perfect grades. It don't see a problem.
I returned home with a report card from…5th grade I believe…with which I was content. My mother, of blessed memory, however, was deeply disappointed with my grades. The shame of that moment still haunts me. I think I'd rather have been smacked, truth be told.
I am quite thankful for my father's, of blessed memory, choice of discipline for when I innocently (simply repeating a word heard on the playground) uttered the n-word. He smacked me so hard, I thought my head was going to come off. Matter closed.
Strange, isn't it? Haunted by one parent's disappointment, and thankful for another's slap-in-the-face.
Actually, I don't think it strange, at all.
Of course, the government granted itself a virtual monoply on primary education in the US. So, do we hold these birds accountable and demand vouchers or a complete change in the system?
Well, that would go down with the NEA. I guess our children are not that important?
The issue for many is cost. Many cannot possibly move their kids to a private school. That is why vouchers make so much sense.
Sorry. Goofing off in class is a stop behavior. And these parents apparently don't need your pediatrician's advice. They seem to be doing a great job on their own.
not too full of yourself are you? hopefully you aren't teaching him about race and your own phobias…what's an Asian surname anyway?
Don't worry about how the author is handling this. I've got a feeling his son will turn out just fine, as did all of the rest of us who got occasional "tactile encouragement" while growing up.
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Proverbs 13:24. Still good after all these centuries.
Strangely enough, that is not uncommon where Dems have long held power. Watch Crowder's latest video on this site. It is about Detroit. And yet…the handouts keep coming, and the people long held back by the "bigotry of low expectations" Dems keep voting for them.
Thanks for sharing! It's a picture of more than 1000 words.
The_Great_Satan
A little crude, but otherwise on the mark.
So many places to start here, but first, good work as usual.
Let's start with culture, compassion and tolerance and then quickly erase all three.
Okay, now that all that nonsense is out of the way.. I could go on for hours..
I want to respond to the statement "My son has been tremendously blessed and he is now charged with carrying the banner of the people." in the article. Your son seems tremendously blessed, because he has parents that are both loving and support him for academic success. However your son is an individual. He does not hold a "banner of the people", he holds the banner for himself. You think the korean girl really believes she holds a banner for Korean Americans? While perhaps there is some pride in that, really I doubt she does.
We need to strike ourselves away from bad paradigms centered around race. We need to understand the Liberty truly begins with the individual, and whatever racial background you are, you are have inherent inalienable rights. This then means that your racial background is really bakground, the foreground really is simply about you, and what you do, what you say, how you treat others. We will always be stuck in racial segments because we still keep forcing ourselves, and often under the guise of something we think is good, to keep looking at race in the foreground.
Merry Christmas———everyone!
sigh….your black, which means odds are your kid will be in jail by the time hes 17 anyway so dont bother.
Calton Bolick
WIkipedia admin
Mr. Phillips –
I am more and more impressed with your columns and your clear-thinking, articulately-expressed opinions. Keep up the good work.
Trust that America has changed. Get him out of public school and into a private school with high academic standards and students do not worship a kid who "gets held back". You and your wife are doing everything right; don't let the school undermine you. Black kids are in very real danger of being returned to the liberal plantation because the public schools un or undereducate them. I second the reading of Sowell's book. In fact, read ALL of Sowell's books and everything you can get your hands on by Walter Williams and Shelby Steele. Tell your kids about Ben Carson (I believe his name is), the best pediatric neurosurgeon in the USA (Johns Hopkins) the son of a single mother. Dr. Carson gave a speech I saw on C-Span about education. See if you can find it. YOU give homework to your kid, make him listen to that speech and write a book report on it for YOU and your wife. Don't buy into black leaders telling you you're a victim. Plenty of white kids from poor families face the same kind of discrimination for the system as do black kids.
So…did we ever resolve if "tactile encouragement" means the author spanks his son if he fails to get good grades? Carrying the banner for the race is difficult enough; it seems that the knowledge that failure to do so might result in physical punishment just doesn't strike me as a long term winning strategy. I was one of very few black kids in a largely jewish school in the 70's-early 80's; my parents (along with everyone else's) demanded excellence…no 'tactile encouragement' was needed, a sort of natural competition for good grades arose on its own. By high school one's status was enhanced by how many colleges one had been accepted to and the high level of one's "safety school." Again, I know times have changed, and he is to be commended for his commitment to his son's education, but the author's solution makes me wince a little.
wow….WOW. That was one great article and something I feel like passing on to my friends, younger friends and kids. It needs to be said and sometimes I think the only time they will listen is if it comes from someone with the same skin color. The young black youth have been taught by their elders that it's okay to slack back because the racist past of the country will give them the pass. It's okay because the white man will only hold u back so why work hard to get forward. WE NEED BLACK LEADERS WHO SPEAK THE TRUTH. Theses kids don't get it. They have the same opportunites as everyone else. This is not 1940's America anymore. All the hard work and heavy lifting was done for us, STOP THROWING IT AWAY AND BLAMING OTHERS.
it's a generational & cultural thing. i had a very nice upper middle class upbringing, but as a spirited child i knew well the sting of a wooden spoon, hairbrush, or whatever punitive weapon was within reach- including a few being broken over my butt. my mom and i have laughed about it for decades. i recognize that that was a bit extreme by today's standards, but with a little adjustment, properly and lovingly (at its core) applied corporal punishment doesn't bother me.
Mr. Phillips,
Based on my student teaching experience, I don't think that the issues you raise about socially elevating those with poor academic performance is exclusively a "black thing". I see similar social reverence played towards my white and hispanic students who have had to repeat as well (some are 19 and still 9th graders….).
There's a major cultural shift away from wanting to do anything resembling work, academic or work-work, in our nation as a whole. And those that find ways around doing that work are seen as more fun, cool, and now mainstream; whereas those same people a few decades ago might have had the rebel coolness factor, but would be viewed, long-term, by most of society as heading for a dead-end as senior fry guy at McDonalds at best; shopping-cart filled with cans hobo at worst. For example, at my school, to pass the semester, students have to pass one of the two following grades: 1st quarter, 2nd quarter, semester final. When I left my field site for xmas vacation, the kids had gotten it into their heads that they would mess around 2nd quarter because they passed first quarter, and then they'd pass the final. It doesn't matter to them what that would do to their GPA; and most couldn't see that by not doing anything 2nd quarter, they are dooming themselves to fail the final. Yet they all revere the couple of guys who thought up this scheme. That reverence will continue as long as they get D's at the end of the semester so they get the class credit.
What does it says about the odds for the functionally illiterate?
School Physical/Corporal Punishment is related to the discrepancy in achievement scores for African American children. The U.S. Department of Education committee announced two years ago that addressing the achievement gap is a high priority in LNCB reauthorization. African American children represent l7 percent of the school population and receive 36 percent of the paddlings.
School Physical/Corporal Punishment is related to the discrepancy in achievement scores for African American children. The U.S. Department of Education committee announced two years ago that addressing the achievement gap is a high priority in LNCB reauthorization. African American children represent l7 percent of the school population and receive 36 percent of the paddlings with WOODEN PADDLES.
At his Senate confirmation hearing in February, Arne Duncan succinctly summarized the Obama administration’s approach to education reform: “We must build upon what works. We must stop doing what doesn’t work.”
The TRUTH is that school children are treated differently in our great nation based on where they live. A black middle school student in Texas DIED by having his chest crushed when his teacher sat on him to restrain him and ignored his pleas that he could not breathe, he died on the classroom floor in front of his classmates (this teacher is teaching in another state), a Texas high school student suffered deep bruising and welts to his lower back, buttocks and back of his legs when he received 21 "licks" with a wooden canoe paddle, which had to be taped to continue the beating, a 9-year old Georgia 3rd grader suffered deep bruising injuries when he was paddled with a WOODEN PADDLE 3 TIMES IN ONE DAY (Decatur Co., GA affirmed Corporal Punishment Policy 9/17/09 ) and a Publicly Funded Charter School in Memphis, Tennessee physically punishes middle/high school boys and GIRLS weekly during a ceremony called "Chapel" by hitting them with wooden paddles and/or whipping their hands with leather straps IN FRONT OF ALL THE OTHER STUDENTS AS A DETERRENT! The school employees in the above actions have LEGAL IMMUNITY and are STILL paid by our tax-dollars to be ENTRUSTED with the care and education of our children!
Our nation's most prominent and trusted National Children’s Health and Education Organizations have issued official position statements OPPOSING Physical/Corporal Punishment of Children in SCHOOLS including The American Medical Assn (AMA), American Academy of Pediatricians, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, American Academy of Family Physicians, American Bar Assn, American Humane Assn, American Psychiatric Assn, American Psychological Assn, American Public Health Assn, National Parent Teacher Assn (PTA, National Mental Health Assn and Prevent Child Abuse America among others.
Please demand your Governor/Representatives in Congress introduce/support legislation to Abolish Corporal Punishment of Children in ALL SCHOOLS, the cost is $0.
The kid was wrong…for *I* am King of the Blacks! Bow before me, my dusky minions!
In case you didn't understand the other two replies, writing using all capital letters as you have done in your post is considered a breach of e-mail/computer etiquette. Your comment would be much easier to read if you used standard keyboarding procedures.
Mr. Phillips, this is the first article I've read that you have written and am very impressed. Thank you for an honest portrayal of real or perceived black attitudes towards education and for standing up against them. The only way black Americans are going to be truly free is through education. It is not "white" to want to learn to read, to have a good paying job because black children proudly pursued educational pursuits that resulted in enhanced and desirable skills that pay well. It is not "white" to want a nice car, a nice home, nice clothes, a stable future, a familyI These are values that most human beings, especially parents, hope for. And in America, education is available to anyone, regardless of race, color, creed, sex, religion, etc. I believe the only real way racism of any kind can be overcome (there will always be racists, but as a country we can make them irrelevant) is through education. Good luck to you and your wonderful wife as you raise proud, well-educated and dynamic children.
I sympathize this this challenge. Good luck with whatever means you have available to improve the situation. And by all means, keep us posted on the progress.
The fact that Black IQ in the US is 85 while East Asian IQ is 105+ (White IQ being 100 by definition) has more than a passing relevance to the subject of this post though it is not mentioned at all. This of course doesn't affect individual members per se of any given group but it does mean that the academic performance of the group as a whole is significantly influenced by IQ. and needs to be factored into any meaningful discussion of the problems raised.
It does not send a good message does it? I am very white and I have unsuccessfully attempted on many occasions to comprehend this phenomanon. Barack Obama is seen as the pinnacle of what a black man can attain in modern America, and instead of being a good role model and doing the best he can and setting a good example, all I see is "If you oppose Obama's agenda, you are a racist". Not a good message.
Truly honest and great post. I have a friend whose emotionally immature daughter is being sent to a psychologist in school – and she's 5. Way back when, tough teachers could handle what came their way.
I strongly recommend Unequal Childhoods by Lareau for anyone interested in understanding the parentlng practices of the upper middle class and how it advantages their children in school situations. Although I am conservative in my politics, I am open minded enough to take in new information and change my tactics to benefit my children.
I respect the standard advice, of appreciating the value of private school education. But it's simply not always so possible to put one's children in a good private school. There's the cost, of course. But there's also the simple fact the closest private school might be too distant from home to warrant the effort. I finally decided the best thing I could do was strive, rather, to be as involved as possible in my children's public education. I monitor what they're studying, what their teachers are actually teaching them, and by approaching the teachers when problems do arise. I believe it's important to bring change to the public schools, in fact, rather than write them off as some sort of lost cause. There are too many children depending on those institutions, in fact, than to leave them be.
Great article. Good luck to your son, who is ahead of the game simply by virtue of having parents who care enough to demand that he give his best. Just be careful that you remain fair to him by only asking that he honestly give his best efforts. Both you and he will be surprised how much he can do if he does his best. But don't ask for more than he can truly deliver. There will come a day (high school, college, etc..) when his best effort will net him a "B." If he has given his best, that "B" needs to be good enough.
The best thing most parents can do for their children is to be a good example. To demand they obey and honor you and that they always do their best. While some students will never be able to be in the top of thier class, all of them should strive to be there.
The prize does not always go to the brightiest but to those who never quit. Tenacity will win every time. And for goodness sake, make it your business to find out who their heros are and where they spend thier spare time. You need to know this to help them reach their potential.
Cho and Wang are Asian surnames. I thought an enlightened person like yourself knew this. (Much sarcasm.)
You are absolutely right to keep at your son. It's worse than you think. American kids are far behind their European and Asian counterparts because the entire US school system has been in decline for 4 decades. SO, few Americans know how UNCOMPETITIVE their children will be when they graduate.
Our kids grew up in French schools in Africa. Their classmates were French, Lebanese & Francophone Africans. AFrican kids who spoke four languages: their mother tongue (tribal language), & French and the school studies of English & "foreign language" like SPanish, German or LATIN.
To come back to the USA & discover how LOW LOW LOW LOW expectations are for American kids of ANY color or income level was shocking. Our kids grew up with Black kids who are multilingual; they weren't prepared for the mumble gangsta of Upper Middle class Black Americans! What a preposterous mess!
To KidsRpeople2 (post at top of page 3):
I am not a fan of "the board" being used in schools. But I will tell you that I have personally known people with the following acronyms after their names: M.D., Ph.D., Ed.D., M.F.T., M.S., M.A., M.P.H., and other b.s. (pun intended – no disrespect meant), who had huge problems with their offspring – in every which way imaginable.
In fact, some in academia GET into academia through searching for help with their own problems. And that includes the psychiatric/psychological set.
"The prize does not always go to the brightiest but to those who never quit. Tenacity will win every time."
You're onto something there…
that was great! LOL!
It is no accident that education in this country was "dumbed down," and expectations were vastly lowered. Dumb masses are easier to manipulate and control.
Think of cattle – a topic with which I am somewhat familiar. Every once in a while, you'll get that "gifted and talented" cow, that creates all sort of havoc, because it "knows" more than the others. The ones content to chew their cud and go along to get along… do…to the feed lot…then the grocer's refrigerated cases.
The pediatrician's kid is possibly in therapy…
If I may be indulged in a second comment to you, Rick Rouse, I believe that the most important thing of all is that the child has a good relationship with God. You know, when that is the frame, the picture usually manages to turn out better overall.
It is NOT AlistZ that is 'as bad as it sounds' – it is the Nobel Committee's decision to award Obama the Peace Prize because of the color of his skin and not the content of his character. AlistZ's honesty about it is not 'way out of line' – that accusation belongs to the Nobel Committee.
A little extra tibit. Since our kids were the only AMericans in foreign schools they went to, they couldn't hang in any cliques – they had to learn the language ASAP to survive, which is what all the other foreign kids had to do also to get by. Here, in the USA they've been in classes with Korean & CHinese who tend to hang in cliques and speak their languages amongst themselves. But our kids are used to having to pick up languages fast (a skill that anyone can develop) so they quckly figured out the Chinese kids and Korean kids were openly telling each other the test answers in class in front of the teachers who didn't know that they were saying.
Oh! Bit if a relief to discover Asian kids are as human & flawed & as under pressure to perform as anyone else on the planet.
But, there is a genuine gap between US and foreign academic achievement. AMerican parents have not seen a quality math program in so long, they don't know what a good one looks like so they are easily razzle-dazzled by flashy, empty math programs. Asian parents still know a good math program when they see it and make sure their kids get it – even if it means after school tutorials run by Asian tutors.
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