‘Machete’ Review: Dull, Convoluted, Racist and Anti-American
by John NolteDirector Robert Rodriguez’s spoof trailer for “Machete” was easily the best part of his and Quentin Tarantino’s failed attempt to return to those glorious days of early ‘70s exploitation flicks with 2007’s “Grindhouse.” And it made sense that the fan reaction would eventually result in a feature film the director has wanted to make since the mid-nineties. If nothing else, Rodriguez is as famous for delivering low-budget, high concept genre films as he is for directing them. He’s even better at marketing himself and his latest project, exploiting to the hilt an intriguing concept that, unfortunately, usually fails to pay off in a satisfying way on screen. Politics aside, never has this been truer than with “Machete” (though the truly dreadful “Once Upon a Time in Mexico” is a close second).
Recently, Rodriguez has furiously tried to backpedal away from the racial bomb he exploded into the middle of the Arizona immigration debate back in May with his cravenly cynical attempt to market “Machete” using a racist trailer. After the backlash and with Texas tax credits on the line, the director’s now selling “Machete” as a goof, a “Mexsploitation” flick that harmlessly employs the same kind of over-the-top politics that have always defined the genre. But nothing could be further from the truth.
The story of a former Mexican “Federale” (the great Danny Trejo) framed for the attempted assassination of a racist Texas State Senator (the hammy Robert DeNiro) is both racial and racist. “Machete” isn’t about a political call for the powerless to fight THE corrupt MAN, it’s a call for revolution; Mexicans against Americans – and in the words of the character meant to be our evolving conscience, Jessica Alba’s Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agent Sartana, it’s about how those who believe in only LEGAL immigration “deserve to be cut down.” This is her rousing fist-in-the-air message to a gathered army of illegal day laborers who have been patiently waiting for the call away from their jobs as dishwashers, gardeners and hotel maids to wage war against a cruel America whose immigration laws, by the way, are nowhere near as harsh as Mexico’s.
Still, “Machete” offers no middle ground, no reasonable, non-racist position against wide open borders for those fleeing from what one character describes as the “personal hell” that is Mexico. And that character is Luz, (Michelle Rodriguez), a taco stand operator and the underground leader of a network dedicated to smuggling illegals across the border. However, she’s also stockpiling weapons of war for the coming “revolution” and represents SHE (an obvious reference to mass-murderer Che — nice, huh?), the mythical, female revolutionary figure who inspires illegals everywhere to fight for their right to be in America. Because, as Sartara sees it: We didn’t cross the border, the border crossed us!
Director Rodriguez attempts to disguise his toxic and racist message as something more accessible, the simple fight against DeNiro’s corrupt pol, his slimy aide (Jeff Fahey), and Steven Seagal’s Mexican drug kingpin. But this disguise doesn’t work. SHE’ is not a figure representing the fight for justice against injustice but rather of a coming and necessary revolution against America. Furthermore, when the Alba character stands on the hood of a car to kick off the film’s incredibly un-exciting and poorly choreographed race war climax, the war she calls for is not to stop violent racists but against an America (or Texas) that, in her delusional mind, is keeping people off land that is rightfully theirs (remember, the border crossed us).
And yet, never once does the movie bother to explain exactly what it is that makes America so special and attractive to those willing to risk their lives to get here. Can’t have that. Nor does anyone suggest that maybe the best place to wage revolution would be, I don’t know, that “personal hell” called Mexico. Can’t have that, either. Not when your protagonists are driven only by seething radical resentments, a misplaced sense of entitlement, and that warm, smug feeling of superiority that comes with assuming the role of the victim. But not victims of their own country, mind you, victims of America.
Hey, no one said hate had to make sense.
Who the illegals fight against on screen is one thing. What their words mean is altogether something else. That’s the shell game Rodriguez plays and his racially divisive messaging goes way beyond the normal cinematic political posturing and button-pushing. And you will never see a more stereotypically racist portrayal of Southerners, who, in an obvious reference to the border Minute Men, are not only played for cheap laughs but portrayed as sub-human animals who hunt and murder illegals – kill a helpless pregnant woman and say “Welcome to America.”
And if all that’s not an artistically bankrupt and cheap enough outrage for you, Cheech Marin plays a violent, foul-mouth catholic priest who records confessions and there’s an explicit incestuous three-way sex scene involving Machete, Lindsay Lohan’s drug-addicted Internet porn star character, and her … mother.
Other than that, though, “Machete” just isn’t very good. After a promising opening that’s cut, scripted, scored, and performed to look like something that played in urban downtown theatres during the Nixon years (including a scratchy and dusty print), Rodriguez decides to play it straight, which is a fatal mistake. Trejo makes for a compelling protagonist and the girls are plenty pretty, but the story is tediously episodic and confusing, with no momentum whatsoever. Other than a couple of inspired ideas within surprisingly dull action scenes, there’s not much here to satisfy action fans, even racist ones who hate Southerners and despise America.
For the record, I believe in the American melting pot. My wife was born in Mexico, English is her second language, and she didn’t become an American citizen until she was in her twenties. For that reason, and others, my family is more racially diverse than the bus passengers in “Speed.” So I guess that what I’m really trying to say is, fuck you Robert Rodriguez.
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159 Comments
That is the most brilliant closing line in a review I have ever read.
To hell with only the thumbs up/down ratings, I want the "f**k yeah" as a third possibility.
It's not my normal style to wish ill on others, but I think it would be good for Rodriguez' character development if he could wake up from an alchoholic stupor minus wallet, car keys and ID in the middle of Tijuana, Juarez, or ANY town south of the US border.
I can tell you the plot of this film without seeing it: Illegal immigration = good. Arizona law = bad. The end. Now you can take your $10,00 and go see "The Expendables" again!
Sorry but after this Veit Harlan-esque pile of filth, I don't think we can refer to Danny Trejo as "The Great…" anymore.
Hollywood …Racist? Bigot? Unethical? Nah, can't be. Don't tell me it's so.
Boy, these guys are beyond "delusional" …what that word would be, I just don't know.
Well said … especially the line about the film playing it straight. B-movie greatness is easier said than done.
I expected not to agree with the film's politics, but the movie itself is a snore. I sense that Rodriguez let his co-director have more control than he should have … but maybe I'm giving him too much of an excuse.
One thing Rodriquez and his open borders ilk never seem to discuss – pride in their home country. Doesn't anyone wanna make Mexico a better place? Shouldn't they be fighting for safer streets, more jobs and a more ethical govt. so Mexicans are convinced their only chance is to flee to America?
That said, this is one ugly picture through and through.
Jessica Alba should just STFU and act… but oh wait, she can't act.
Hmm…
Quick revision: Jessica Alba should just STFU.
Yay!!!!!
I can look out my window and SEE Mexico. The current disaster that is Cuidad Juarez wouldn't be there without El Paso, Texas. Mexico NEEDS American WAY WORSE than America needs the HEADACHES Mexico causes.
As an American of Mexican heritage just as fresh and deep as Roberto Rodriguez (my grandmother's maiden name) let me 'third' John Nolte's call of "F//k You Robert Rodriguez".
Rodriguez (as the tale famously goes) financed his first flick by spending a few months in a Big Pharma testing facility in South Austin. Rodriguez is RICH & Famous BECAUSE of our country the AMERICA he gratuitously attacks. Per Nolte – F**K YOU Rodriguez.
By the way you piss ant "Reconquistadores" – LARGE SWATHS – tens and tens if not THOUSANDS of square miles of Texas are UNIHABITABLE. It's crappy desert. Most of borderland Western Texas was sparsely inhabited by Mexicans because NOBODY LIVED THERE. That border didn't cross YOU, you Mexicans LOST A WAR.
What if Rodriguez or someone like him did finally start some kind of race war or revolution? Would that person ever admit responsibility for the blood on his hands? Blood that would be mainly Mexican most likely.
"One thing Rodriquez and his open borders ilk never seem to discuss – pride in their home country. Doesn't anyone wanna make Mexico a better place? Shouldn't they be fighting for safer streets, more jobs and a more ethical govt. so Mexicans are convinced their only chance is to flee to America?"
Touche` ctoto! Hit 'em with logic! It'll confuse every time!
Machete! Andale jefe! We have some cleanin' up to do in DC! Then, you can go back to Mexico and finsh before the cartels own all of Mexico…
This country has always been a sanctuary for those enduring barbarity, in danger of being killed or persecuted or driven out by poor economies. However, unless there's a squad of mass murderers running around offing everyone of your ethnic group, or some communist dictator who will likely shoot you if he get's the chance, we respectfully ask that you follow our laws and become a citizen the best way, by earning it.
As for Robert Rodriguez, ¡Que te jodan!
Hell, the Mexicans coming here today never had the US border "cross" them at all.
The American southwest had a relatively small population of more or less Hispanic residents in 1848 when the US annexed the region (and paid Mexico for it). Those Spanish-speaking residents of Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona were not expelled and sent to Old Mexico; they were allowed to stay in the new territories of the United States, and most of their descendants are today thoroughly Americanized US citizens and taxpayers in good standing. Some of their ancestors were regrettably abused by the new Anglo governments, but the people responsible for that, and their victims, are all long dead.
The actual Mexicans coming to the US today (and I do not opppose legal immigration from Latin America) have little or no personal connection to Mexico's "lost territory" in the southwest, anymore than I as an American of Norwegian and German descent have a right or reason to complain about England's mistreatment of Ireland.
I didn't even address the fact that the mythical Hispanic homeland of "Aztlan" is giant fraud…
Liberals are intent on trying to revive the revolution themes of the 60's. Fight the power! But it ain't working. And if you think conservatives are tired of being called racists by every two bit liberal hack, you cannot imagine how tired southerners are of being labeled as dumb AND racist.
No doubt "Machete" will become required viewing in those racist La Raza classes.
I met Robert Rodriguez at comic-con way back when the first clips of Sin City were shown.
During the discussion panels Q&A session, this one guy with an overwhelming sense of entitlement got up and asked Rodriguez, "What are you doing to help out the Latino film making community and the Latino community in general?"
Rodriguez responded: "I support any independent film maker who goes out there and takes the risks. I don't really think of it as a racial issue and if you're going to turn it into a racial issue, I've got better things to do with my time. Next question please."
I had a ton of respect for Robert Rodriguez for that answer. Unfortunately somewhere between Sin City and Machete, Rodriguez flip-flopped. The race-war direction the full film takes kills what made the "preview" in Grindhouse so entertaining.
So I have to agree with Nolte, f@ck you Robert Rodriguez.
In a seedy motel room in an ice-filled bathtub also minus his kidneys?
The entire "Chicano/a" movement is a giant fraud. I just graduated from one of the "flagship" institutions of this fraud – U.Texas El Paso, and took two upper level classes teaching the "gospel" of Chicanoism. What crap.
I mounted a loud and strident challege to their "Atzlanic fantasy" during both sememsters by presenting the "other side" of issues.
The heartening thing I took from both classes were the numbers of young Americans of Mexican heritage telling me "Thank You" for standing up for America and joining me in challenging the professors. Add in predominately white and black athletes from other parts of the country speaking up and we had quite the "brew".
I met Tarrantino at a showing of Grindhouse and I had to tell him how bad everyone wants to see Machete made.
I think the movie would've been an instant classic if Tarrantino was more involved. His movies have always been apolitical. Just entertaining. I asked him why a double feature, why the fake trailers? He said he wanted to create a whole experience.
That's his only motive. And whatever messages he puts in his movies are always done in a non-preachy way. Primarily because preaching and overt messages are bad film making.
If I want politics at a movie theatre i'll watch a documentary. (Freakonomics is coming out next month)
She is pretty, but dumb as a box of rocks.
Hey, easy on boxes of rocks. I have some.
How about this: Jessice Alba is as dumb as a box of Megan Fox.
It seems to me that this movie goes over the line in a way that most of the actual race-sploitation movies didn't. Where the older movies seemed to encourage the oppressed minorities to "Rise Up! Fight the Man! Demand your rights!", this one is coming right out and saying "Rise Up and KILL!!!! Leave the theater and set some honky's s__t on FIRE on the way home!"
Lol! Your way is much more accurate. I stand corrected.
What the hell happened to Rodriguez? Someone must have slipped him some hard hitting kool-aid between the making of Desperado and now. That movie was about a heartless drug dealer who ruled a Mexican town with an iron fist, using fear and brutality to keep control. He wasn't some righteous fighter of whitey's racism, it showed why people wanted out of Mexico.
Mr. Nolte's final line times ten.
Who says politics aren’t alive and well in film critique. “Expendables” received a 40 percent consensus from film critics as many pointed to its violence and its lack luster story of good vs evil as the reason, not politics. This week “Machete” receives a 73 percent consensus with many pointing to its much more extreme violence and nudity and racism as the reason for its praise and guilty pleasure viewing. Its seems many of today’s critics are more interested in whose name is on the product and what message the product represents for its pros and cons never mind the artistic accomplishments of the product. I suppose the LA Times Steven Zeitchik will be writing an article on why Hollywood should produce more films like "Machete". In case you didn't know Zeitchik was asking Hollywood to forget the success of the film "Expendables".
While there's a chance that this movie might be a big money-maker in the Hispanic community (sort of what that "Dances With Wolves" meets "Star Wars" film "Avatar" was world-wide), it sounds like its lack of production values might work strongly against it. Seems like Senor Rodriguez decided early on in production to make a Hispanic version of "Battle of Algiers" which dealt with the Algerians fighting to expel their French overlords from Algeria. The thing is, the Mexicans have their own country which is blessed with natural resources – the problem with Mexico is the @$$holes running the country (same as here). For Mexicans to come to the U.S. to foment a revolution makes about as much sense as German or Irish immigrants in the 19th century trying to foment revolution among their fellow expatriates in the U.S. in order to set up German or Irish mini-states. Question: would Jessica Alba or Danny Trejo be as successful stars in Mexico as they are in the U.S.? Just asking…
God bless you Nolte for sitting through it. You are a better man than I.
Just like politicians, I think he eventually realized that there is opportunity in conflict.
Remember, Hillary Clinton was a college Republican. Then she met Saul Alinsky and discovered the path to power.
Better hope BO doesn't see this movie. He'll immediately send his trolls to the southwest to defend the drug cartels, smugglers, and coyotes. My bad. He's already doing his part for the bad guys by not directing Holder, his mouth piece, to enforce existing "federal" law rather instead file law suit upon lawsuit against AZ. What a poor excuse for president of the US.
"that warm, smug feeling of superiority that comes with assuming the role of the victim."
"So I guess that what I’m really trying to say is, f*ck you Robert Rodriguez."
I can't figure out which quote I like best.
"And then the new Aztlan will be just another third world sh*thole like every other Latin American country."
Hmm, Costa Rica? Chile?
Fantastic line! If you invented it, consider it now stolen.
How did that go over with your teachers? Sounds like an interesting story. Please, inquiring minds want to know.
When you drag your wife's nationality into the mix, you undermine your own position.
Leftists call us names precisely BECAUSE they want us to stumble over ourselves trying to disprove their gratuitous accusations. Addressing those fraudulent accusations only validates them.
You don't need to prove you are not a racist any more than you need to prove you are not a child molester. Normal people aren't child molesters and normal people aren't racists. If you are a normal person then you are naturally neither.
I'm disappointed that Jessica Alba would choose to participate in this film. I still want to sleep with her, but not as much as I did before. You can't even blame her involvement on being sentimental about Mexicans. If she wants to root for Mexicans because her father is Mexican then she should call for the improvement of Mexico as a nation and a society, not tribal war between Mexicans and Americans.
Just got back from seeing Machete.
I always liked Robert Rodriguez and his DIY digital self-made studio system and work ethic…until now.
What a piece of sh*t. Stupid, racist, idiotic, Marxist – did I mention stupid? Mexicans are all good and hard-working and, of course, America sucks.
Some good one liners, machete violence, nudity – especially Jessica Alba in the shower – I'm OK with all that. LOVED The Expendables, after all.
But Jesus, if he can make this excrement, where's the conservative Robert Rodriguez?
Meh, saw it with my dad today and we both enjoyed it. Felt alittle long twards the end though. I hope they do a spinoff movie with Tom Savini's character. I loved Grindhouse BTW and saw it twice in theaters.
"Machete" = Yesterday's News aka " Manana"……
Oh, that's cruel! One kidney, max.
This wasn't made with Mexican-Americans in mind. It was made with Hollywood in mind, and the liberal ideology that has a stranglehold on the purse strings out there. Rodriguez can see the position the Hollywood elites have taken on the border issue, and he knows that if you're an Oliver Stone or a Sean Penn or a George Clooney, you can do bomb after bomb after bomb at the box office and still be granted one more chance, because you say the right things and think the right thoughts.
"Machete" might have one good weekend at the box office from people who either don't know the politics involved or specifically go to see it just for the politics, and then fade away. But it gives Rodriguez a mark on his resume to show the liberals running the big studios or the actors who can get pictures made that he's one of them and should be helped out even though his track record at turning a profit is questionable.
So I guess what I am really trying to say is to Rodriguez
I DO NOT believe in the Melting Pot. Because it does not exist and has never existed.
No one has been more assimilated and rewarded by White audiences than Rodriguez. He even dates starlet Rose McGowan, or did. He made Disney Spy Kids movies, and "Shark Boy and Lava Girl," and the rest. He's both a lucrative Disney director and "edgy" and critically acclaimed partner of Tarantino. Jessica Alba is the fave of Maxim Magazine and the star of White audience movie after movie, from Fantastic Four to Sin City. Michelle Rodriguez is the star of very, very White TV show, "Lost." And gazillion movies like AVATAR. Cheech Marin was made a fabulously wealthy man by a generation of White stoners and TV fans (of Nash Bridges). All these folks are wealthy beyond belief, famous beyond belief, and adored by a White fanbase beyond belief.
THIS is the movie these folks chose to make. So, no, there is no possibility of assimilation. There can't be. You shove as much wealth and fame at Rodriguez, or Alba, or Marin, all by adoring White fans, and they will call for basically, a race war to kick White Americans out of well, America. So that Mexicans can run it.
IF ANYTHING, the words "we didn't cross the border, the border crossed us," applies to us Whites, who don't want to live in Mexico, but suddenly do. As Gringos. As third class (if that) folks who don't speak Spanish, don't have brown skin, are last in line not first for Affirmative Action, and every other government preference, and lose. Being turfed out by Mexicans who will indeed, always put race first.
RACE ALWAYS COMES FIRST. That's just how it is. Rodriguez, Alba, Marin, and and Michelle Rodriguez prove it. The agenda of Mexicans is to make America into Mexico Norte, run by Mexicans, for Mexicans, according to Mexican cultural values, in Spanish, the way California has been turned into "Mexifornia" ala the book by Victor Davis Hanson. We'd all like to live in the bright fantasy Rainbow of the Colors of Benetton. But that's just an ad.
Nobody asked me, and there was never a vote, on just WHY we should import about 40 million Mexicans, nearly all dirt poor, illiterate in two languages, with the social dysfunction common to Mexicans (drug gangs, hyper-violence, dog fighting, etc). Nor did we ever see an explanation of how America and the White majority benefits from suddenly being a discriminated minority (but one expected to provide all the wealth and taxes). Nobody asked me if I wanted California to be turned into a slightly more upscale version of Tijuana, yet there it is.
We did not cross the border. The border crossed us. Putting us Whites into Mexico. As third class Gringos.
I like Mexicans just fine. In Mexico. I figure I owe any and all Mexicans what they would owe me if I crossed the border illegally into Mexico. Nothing, except swift deportation back to my home country.
But don't ask me to care about "Amexica" or Mexifornia. Because I don't. I owe Amexica the same allegiance that I owe Mexico: ZERO.
never found Alba or Fox appealing, but then again I think intelligence in a woman is very sexy, which is why Ann Coulter=HAWT!!!!!
I really wish Rodriguez and his bud Quentin Tarrantino would stop trying to convince me that these horrible 70's grindhouse movies were even remotely entertaining.
I thought this was a straight-up revenge flick, like Mel Gibson's "Payback". But reading this review, and other reports of over the top gore, I gotta say: not interested.
Ain't that the truth!! I LOVED IT!
I'm so sick of this Grindhouse garbage. And no way is this gringo paying to see this anti-White bunk.
Your wishing Obama-care on the guy too? Isn't that a bit much?
Holy cow, and Machete is at 73% on rottentomatoes whereas The Expendables is at 40%. Why could that be? I am "left" with only one conclusion…
Ditto!
Have to say, love the final line. Perfectly delivered.
Lindsay Lohan is in it too?Really??What a craptastic piece of crap.
I was excited about Grindhouse, thought it would be fun. Watched the Kurt Russell one and was disappointed. Got about halfway through the other one and just turned it off. And I LIKE cheap thrills, etc., but the whole thing was so soulless that it made it unwatchable for me.
Saw it at a midnight show. I still don't think it was racist, however it just honestly wasn't that great of a movie, which disappoints me. My favorite part was when he ripped the guys intestines out to jump out the window to the next floor. My least favorite part was how it took too long to get to the good parts. I guess that's the risk you take for making a political statement.
I also wanted the rumored fake trailer Agent Orange by Tarantino to be on there.
oooh that does sound awesome!
That means you'd be "right"!
Was hoping for something good, but the more I read about it the less I wanted to pay to see it, this was the final nail in the coffin. Thanks for saving me money John.
Completely agree! You've just got to tell the libutards where to shove it when they insult the greatest country on Earth!..or whatever else they say for that matter!
Machete is also a haven for has-beens as well.
Don Johnson never had a hit after Miami Vice and Nash Bridges went off the air.
Steven Segal is as plump as The Pillsbury Doughboy, the Michelin Mummy, and the Good-Year Blimp combined.
Lindsay Lohan somehow got a part by "orally" getting passed the insurance clause.
Jessica Alba never had a hit film since 2007.
Not only Anti-American, but has-been heaven as well.
Alba got a lot of flack in Hollywood, mainly from the evil troll Perez HIlton for not being "latina" enough. Alba once said she did not really identify with being "latina" because she was not really raised with that label. I think this is her way of getting back into the good graces of the powers that be, and her way of getting back on the radar. She's not really been working much lately. Now she will be seen as "hip" and "cool" and back in.
I think it's perfectly appropriate for Nolte to mention his wife's heritage, because it just proves once again how silly their arguments against us are. I do understand your point though.
Hollywoods way of going after those who dont support their ideas, and agenda's. Nothing new. Boycott the liberal hollywood, that's the only way to effect them.
That rule applies to just about every Hollyweirdo these daze! As Robert DeNero told Charles Grodin in Midnight Run; "Would you please just STFU."
"For that reason, and others, my family is more racially diverse than the bus passengers in “Speed.” So I guess that what I’m really trying to say is, fu@k you Robert Rodriguez."
That was awesome.
All I ask in return is your hitting the thumb up icon, but I see a number of you have done that. Kudos. =P
"I still want to sleep with her, but not as much as I did before."
Classy.
I'm sure she's sobbing into her pillow over the lost opportunity as we speak
Boxes of rocks everywhere just gave you the middle finger…
Savini always deserves better. He's been great in everything he's done. I just saw the original Dawn of the Dead last weekend.
The problem is he's so good with effects that he can't do too much in front of the camera. Same thing with Tarrantino. He was supposed to play Steve Buscemi's part in resevoir dogs but needed to be behind the camera more.
Well, he's one of the left's lap-poodles, so the (death) panels will ensure he gets a replacement.
unamerican?! i wasn't going to see 'machete' but now i have to see what's got your racist "my-wife-is-mexican" panties twisted. thanks!!
OK, only one kidney. I'm sure there are other organs that can be harvested in lieu of the additional kidney. Hey, he'll be rich from his film, so he can afford it. Isn't that how Obama care is supposed to work? Or is that socialism, I can never tell the difference?
First, Avatar was a hit here, not just worldwide.
Second, I think people are reading way too much into Machete. It was meant to be this ham-handed grindhouse film, with a level of irony, like the film it's first trailer it appeared in. I saw Grindhouse in the theater, and while I enjoyed the satire, Tarantino's contribution to the pair of films was so much like the film it was satirizing, it passed through satire and became the thing it was satirizing, and was boring as hell. The appeal was overall this facsimile of the grindhouse experience. But I'm not a grindhouse fan, so this is one film I never had any intention to see, because I'm frankly not in the mood for another send-up. But this critic and others here in this discussion missed what this film's intent was. It was meant to be over-the-top, not something making a serious political or social statement. It was another movie like Grindhouse.
And, by the way, when people run for office in Mexico with a progressive approach, to try to make Mexico a more equitable place to live, they're assassinated. I'm afraid that the only change that'll come is when we do seal off the borders and force the Mexican masses into a desperate state, which would lead to an out-and-out revolution. But I'll bet you that the United States will interfere and will put down the revolution. We never met a capitalist dictator we didn't like. We only disdain leftist dictators. Hell, in South America we've overthrown democratically elected leftists and put dictators in their places. Pinochet comes to mind.
Next they'll be saying I'm rock-ist.
Amen to the last line.
Rodriguez is a douchebag – big time.
I was NEVER going to see this movie… the trailer i saw sucked and didn't even tell what the premise of the movie was! This just confirms my decision. Is there anything better to see this fall?
Danny Trejo isn't PC?!?!?! Say it ain't so!!!!!
LOL, not a big deal.
I'll stick with the great trailer in GRINDHOUSE and skip the flick for now. I'll wait til it's available on Redbox so I'm only out a dollar to see it.
Sadly, I never got to see Grindhouse in the theater. (I would have loved to see that film as it was meant to be seen, instead of the two separate films without fake trailers that were released on DVD.)
Rodriguez' "Planet Terror" was awful except for a few moments of brilliance. The missing reel gag is pretty much the highlight…which means that if Rodriguez had been doing the film straight instead of as a salute to Grindhouse films, Planet Terror would have sucked all the way through.
The politics of the film repelled me. An American army squad infects an entire town with a zombie virus in the hopes that they'll find a cure from somebody who isn't affected by the disease so that they can cure themselves. As if that horrid portrayal of the American soldier isn't bad enough: they're also a bunch of rapists.
Rodriguez seems to let impulses rule over good film-making. He does a gag where the mother gives her son a gun to fend off zombies, and the kid instantly shoots himself by accident. That moment, which IS hilarious as a comment on such scenes in movies, is simply too awful and ruins the rest of the film. Rodriguez wants to have the mother go back to being eye candy for the rest of the film, but you can't get over the fact that she's just lost her son through her own actions and in real life she should be distraught and near-suicide, not showing off her legs.
It was nearly open warfare with one 'professora'. She basically lost control of her class. Two athletes had a running battle with her, a punter (and smartass) from an upperclass California background and an Honors student softball player. The softball player would SEETH in anger and cheer me on while the pro-Chicano Mexican kids played with their phones and/or doodled.
I challenged every challengeable point. One girl shares my half "white"/ half Mexican heritage. She would join me and even stand up to beat back the propaganda (she looks "Mexican", making her even more effective than I, people who know me here in person, yes some of the other posters here and I have met me and the gfriend and they know I look "Anglo", despite my Border Spanglish and blue eyes) which was devastating because I can "say" I'm Mexican, she LOOKS Mexican and she's pounding the conservative line. She was awesome, she's joining the U.S. Marshall this fall, she's in the Academy.
And for that (and many other things) you ROCK!
The professor, who was campaigning for Obama (it was Fall 08) and I went at it, to the point where she would say something and then glance at me to see if I was going to react. I e-mailed her and basically warned her that if she spiked my grade we would she and I would wind up in front of the Dean of Students or whomever I could find to complain about her (I was "ace"ing her course work) and I wasn't bluffing.
She got very indignant (by e-mail) and "assured me" she would be "fair" so we struck a truce. She then asked me to broker a truce with the rebellious athletes although the punter was a jerk and got suspended. He passed the class but they made "arrangements" for him to just take his "C" and get the hell out.
I got and "A", my GPA is/was a big deal because I have graduate/law school aspirations. I noticed some of the "pro-Mexico" and "Chicano" students would avoid eye contact with me but I could give a rats ass. I'm an "older student" and alot of the kids in these classes and other classes would thank me for speaking out. I CASTIGATED a whole class of libs after Kennedy died. I HATED Teddy Kennedy for what he was, and they're praising that old bastard. Things would get heated quite often.
It seems most college kids are afraid of me and/or afraid to debate me. LOL!
Thanks for that question, it was interesting to be a "40 something" life long conservative in Obama- era America. It was FUN!
What is with Che and Hollywood really he isn't a hero he was a sadistic killer though.
I admit — the last paragraph was definitely a shocking twist. The entire review went from being mostly serious and traditional, to something resembling a personal anecdote near the end, and then to launching an offensive against Robert Rodriguez — almost seamlessly.
Wow.
Aside from its repellent message, why would any lover of movies – or anyone looking for a good time – spend time on this? Like "Grindhouse" it pays homage to trash, it is designed to look and feel like trash – surprise, it IS trash. Rodriguez isn´t being ironic, he´s lazy. He is peddling trash to the usual dupes. And don´t try using the "so bad it´s good" excuse. That last worked for me when I was 17.
Good point, but it is awfully hard to come up with a significant third or forth. Colombia is clawing its way back from the brink and I find that highly impressive (naturally, Democrats hate them). Beyond that?
That's awesome. I wish I had been there to see it. But what I really like is that there is at least some effort to hold these teachers accountable. I know it's an uphill battle, but I'm so glad someone is trying. Hopefully your efforts will continue to rub off on others.
Bobby, as I like to call him, has had a very negative effect on Austin's independent film scene (driving up costs with Hollywood money and basically turning the place into another LA) and for that he gets a "F*ck you" from me as well.
I saw GRINDHOUSE too and I was more excited for THANKSGIVING and DON'T, two trailers that captured the early 80's slasher spirit so perfectly I had to check imdb to make sure they weren't actual movies. All MACHETE had going for it was the "They f*cked with the wrong Mexcian" tagline.
Obama should be sent to prison
Rodriguez seems to let impulses rule over good film-making. He does a gag where the mother gives her son a gun to fend off zombies, and the kid instantly shoots himself by accident. That moment, which IS hilarious as a comment on such scenes in movies, is simply too awful and ruins the rest of the film. Rodriguez wants to have the mother go back to being eye candy for the rest of the film, but you can't get over the fact that she's just lost her son through her own actions and in real life she should be distraught and near-suicide, not showing off her legs.
To his credit (what little there is of it), that particular decision is intentionally tasteless as a reflection of the similarly tasteless and artistically-questionable story ideas that have bubbled out of the exploitation-film community since the Sixties. To hell with how people act in real life — the exploitation mindset is that realism never helps to turn a profit, and respectability doesn't put asses in seats. The only way to get people to come see your movie is to make it so balls-to-the-wall crazy and f___ed-up that they HAVE to see it out of sheer curiosity.
A lot of exploitation directors would have made the same choice — to keep the character in as eye candy even after her kid gets killed off.
What in the raw bleeding HELL does that have to do with this article?
I personally wish he would give up acting altogether (at least until he gets offered a decent part) and focus on make-up fx
The title is an apt description of Hollywood and some of the scum that inhabit it.
Of course, the title, to me is enough to make me stay away and probably throw up.
Bravo to the best ending of an article I have ever read.
Very good
John, I know you get paid by the word and you always do a great job ……………. but…………….
you could have used your last line as your first and gone out for a cold beer feeling really good about yourself.
Good Job Dude………………
You are the King of the Comments board. Best thing I have ever read. Thank you.
Please post this on the IMDB board for Machete and on every review board you can find.
Nothing, but it IS a good idea.
This movie won't do anything till it is dubbed in Spanish and shown in the cheap dollar cinemas East of I-35 in Austin.
She ought to be. When your entire professional career is based on how many men fantasize about sleeping with you, then you should consider that it doesn't take too many men thinking, "Eh, maybe I'll obsess over some actress who's not an anti-American nutjob." to start cutting into the ol' paycheck.
I cheered at the end of this article. I don't think I've ever done that in a movie.
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