FILM REVIEW: ‘Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ All Flash, No Fun
by John NolteNicolas Cage gets a lot of guff from elite critics because he’s considered something of an apostate. A truly talented actor, the Academy Award -winner has always moved to a silent rhythm of his own, oblivious to the criticism as he marches through a hit-and-miss career making the films he wants to make. Whereas critics would prefer Cage impress them with edgy performances in nihilistic indie films no one wants to see but nonetheless confirms their warped worldview, Cage mostly prefers high-concept blockbusters where that interesting inner-tremble of his is just as welcome as something else that’s becoming endangered on today’s big screen: masculinity.
There’s another welcome and rare quality Cage delivers like few others at his level. Whether he’s drinking himself to death in Vegas or expressing admiration for America’s traditions and Founding Fathers during a quest for National Treasure, Cage never plays it anything less than sincere. Regardless of the role, this is one actor who refuses to wink at the elites so they know he knows he’s throwing a bone to the hoi polloi; he never acts as though he’s above the material. When you’re a star, goodwill matters and Nic Cage has had mine since his marvelous turn as a good man whose decency never fails to get him nearly killed in 1993’s under-rated and under-appreciated “Red Rock West.”
For “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice,” which opens everywhere tomorrow, Cage re-teams with “National Treasure” producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director John Turteltaub. Unfortunately, that pedigree combined with all the goodwill in the world isn’t enough to lift this flat, noisy, special effects extravaganza into anything worth recommending.
Other than a single awkwardly contrived scene, the comedy adventure is not based in any coherent way on the famous and memorable cartoon chapter of the same name that starred Mickey Mouse and appeared in the Walt Disney masterpiece “Fantasia.”Like he did with “Pirates of the Caribbean,” Bruckheimer grabbed a known Disney brand and loosely built a feature film around it. That worked splendidly for “Pirates,” but it’s doubtful we’ll see a “Sorcerer” franchise.
Cage plays Balthazar Blake, a master magician and protégé of Merlin currently residing in modern-day Manhattan and on the lookout for a chosen one, a protégé of his own who might be able to save the world from his arch-nemesis Horvath (Alfred Molina), and free his one true love, Veronica (Monica Bellucci), from a spell that has kept them apart for centuries. Balthazar’s unlikely apprentice ends up being Dave (Jay Baruchel), a jittery, nerdy, whiz kid more comfortable in his physics lab than anywhere else.
You don’t need me to tell you how the rest will play out, and predictability is not the problem here. You can know how a story will unfurl and still enjoy the execution. The problem is that a hundred million dollars have been spent on eye-popping special effects and a concept with unlimited potential, but the silver bullet that undermines everything is the lack of rules in reference to the magic. There has to be rules in order for the audience to understand the stakes. Instead, in “Sorcerer” it’s anything goes. Horvath creates a giant dragon, Balthazar turns it into confetti; and on and on like this until the special effects dull your reason for living.
The unimaginative plot is also confusing. The story opens with two five-to-ten minute prologues, which is one too many. The first is set 1,000 years ago where no amount of voice over can make the needlessly complicated set up make perfect sense. The second is set in 2000 when Dave is ten and first meets Balthazar and is completely pointless.
The characters aren’t very well developed. It isn’t until we’ve stopped caring that Balthazar is given any kind of emotional life and Dave’s quirky shyness is a little too mannered as played by Baruchel. There are plenty of laughs, but not enough to make up for a hollow shell of a story and relationships that never seem to connect.
Kids who enjoy watching others play a video game might enjoy this. Monica Bellucci is GORGEOUS to look at. Parents will appreciate the obvious desire on behalf of the filmmakers to create an innocent, old-fashioned romp for the whole family. The rest of you, however, have been warned.
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58 Comments
Might be worth it just to look at Monica Bellucci
Thanks for protecting my 5 dollars that might of been wasted.
The original 'Pirates~' always had a sense of Adventure within that took you to places of mystery and excitement.. it even ended without loose treads! After watching the confusing and tiresome sequels my friend spoke of the lost possibilities of simply dumping all the characters except for Sparrow and continue on with his adventures.. and it looks like hollyweird finally got the clue with a "true" sequel to 'Pirates' now being made.
I had two reactions when I saw this trailer – bewilderment and dislike. Firstly, I couldn't for the life of me see what was the point of this film. Smash! Bang! Kapow! is fine – but before I can like a film, there has to be a purpose to it, a point, a plot. I saw none and it lost me right there.
But more importantly, I couldn't stand the actor playing the Apprentice. The instant I listened to this unattractive whiny actor complain and moan, I was transported back at once to my high school years where this same kind of jerk roamed the halls making life miserable for everyone. You know the kind, the self-pitying wise ass every high school seems cursed with – the one who gets revenge for his homely looks and nonexistent social skills by shooting spitballs at the back of your head during study hall, tripping you on the stairs or yanking your chair out from underneath you in cafeteria because it's so damned funny (to him). Trust me, an actor who instantly conjures up that type of unpleasant personality is NOT someone I want to watch on screen. Confusion and dislike? It all adds up to me not standing in line to see this movie.
Shame to hear about the film. Maybe something for Netflix on a rainy day.
Having said that (you knew this was coming), no mention of Nic Cage is complete without this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo
And I'm probably the only person on the planet who enjoyed Trapped in Paradise.
I saw Nicolas Cage and knew I had to pass. I love National Treasure – in spite of him and his "I'm so awesome you can't even see it" attitude. This one was already getting a pass.
I always enjoy Nolte's reviews. In the case of sci-fi/fantasy, however, I must take it with a grain of salt, knowing that he is generally not a fan of the genre. I, for example, love the Harry Potter series with which he is, shall we say, less than enthused. I was such a huge Transformers fan as a kid that, yes, I did indeed enjoy "Revenge of the Fallen."
My wife & I are having a rare night out without our daughter on Saturday. I think, despite this review, that Bruckheimer, Turtletaub, Cage & Molina w/ Explosions is exactly what we need.
I, too, enjoyed Trapped in Paradise. But then, I also liked Ghost RIder, so…
I took the kids (13 and 15 year old girls) to Airbender (it wasn't that bad, all told) so we got to watch the current batch of trailers for kids. We all agreed that we wanted to see the desert South West one with the chameleon. They were already insisting that we go see Despicable Me. And we all agreed that the Sorcerers Apprentice, though very pretty, was unappealing.
I figured that it was because, as portrayed in the trailer, the apprentice was entirely passive to the events happening to him.
It's one of those things that it's often hard to put your finger on.
Now, Harry Potter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the movie!) didn't seek out being the chosen ones either, but both of them had something vital that they wanted very badly. Harry wanted to escape the Dursleys and Buffy, bless her, was wonderfully self-absorbed. She maybe wanted *stupid* things but she wanted them with her whole being.
What I didn't see in the trailer for Sorcerer's Apprentice was any indication at all that the kid, the apprentice, wanted anything. Even Percy Jackson had profound desires.
Good review, John. I think I'm still going to see this.
Cage is also addicted to the huge payday…
His spending habits- even in a town noted for excess- is legendary. So, some of his 'internal rythyms'- and most certainly his hit or miss career- is because of his profligate- and otherworldly- taste for tossing cash around…
So long as he avoids telling other people to live without, contributing to the economy can only be a good thing.
I think I could make a decent 90 minute film of just focusing a camera on Monica Bellucci.
I'm one of those who actually have a liking for Cage. He's had some really good movies over the years (Face/Off, Con Air, National Treasure), though admittedly some not so great ones (Knowing=2 hours of my life I'll never get back). This looks to be in the latter category, confirming my earlier decision not to see it; still, it's nice to see Nolte throw some love to Cage, who I think gets maligned a bit more than he deserves.
Sorry to learn the movie stinks, although I'd guessed that from the preview.
Good on you for recommending Red Rock West.
Shame to hear. I was kinda looking forward to it(just to see how it went with the Fantasia segment).
How would you compare it with Prince of Persia(another Bruckheimer film), one I didn't love, but liked more than I thought I would.
Cage is a dreadful actor. If he wasn't the nephew of director Francis Ford Coppola he would have never been allowed to be in any films.
Too bad. Cage was really good in Herzorg's Bad Lieutenant. Actor's only as good as the director will let him be, I guess.
I've said it before and i'll say it again- Cage butchered the classic "Wicker Man" in a brainless, painful "remake" and should forever be excluded from film.
I dunno…"The Wicker Man" remake is probably the funniest inadvertent comedy since "The Room." I've probably watched the climactic "Ah! No, not the bees! My eyes!" scene upwards of a thousand times. The scenes where he punches various women in the face while dressed up in a bear costume were good too.
That's a bummer. This was a great looking movie and I had hopes that it would make a fun night out for me and my daughter. Then again, you guys were pretty much all wrong about Last Airbender, not about it being mediocre (which it was), but in the ridiculous level of hate towards it when it was a fine (if tragically less than it should have been). Sometimes critics don't seem to understand the difference between something you can go have fun at and something that is truly bad and un-entertaining.
We have had three of those so far this year (POP, Clash Of The Titans and Last Airbender). I don't think we've had a single movie that has out-performed our expectations this year (and nothing on the horizon other than Inception). I thought last summer was bad, but this entire year has been a train-wreck.
It sounds like you haven't seen Toy Story 3 yet! Go out and support great films! I've seen it twice and hope to see it at least once more.
Honestly I saw TS3 and couldn't have been more bored. I thought TS2 was great, but this movie was just a retread of the same issues (although they obviously did a great job again in telling the story). My daughter enjoyed it, but hasn't even broached the subject of possibly seeing it again. I think it was a nice movie, but it didn't out-perform any expectations I had (I wouldn't put it in Pixar's top 10).
That, and the script. Off topic but, I hope you'll offer us a review of DEVO's new album. I'm from the generation that still uses that word.
I like Nic Cage movies.
"The Family Man" was funny and sweet.
"The Rock" with Sean Connery was exciting and amusing at times.
I think he is the only contemporary star that I would go to see a film merely on the strength of his being in it.
No matter what film they come up with as far as 'magic' goes…they will never beat 'Harry Potter'…
Yeah, but he's so HOT!
"ahhh my leg, my leg!" "Ahhhhh my other leg" I laughed so hard I cried.
I didn't realize that Cage was in it, I just remember Dennis Hopper.
Harry Potter- movies and books that act as sleep aids.
Nic cage has stolen money from me 3 times. Leaving Las Vegas was a complete waste of time. I watched an uncle drink himself to death and there was no Elizabeth Shue there to hump him at the end. Kiss of Death was even worse. When you combine the craptastic Caruso with Cage acting like a maniac with an IQ of 86 you get a vortex of cinematic excrement. And then there was Gone in 60 Seconds. Were it not for the cars, that movie would be grounds for a fatwa of everyone involved. They wouldn't let Vinnie effin' Jones talk!! How do you shut that guy out of the dialogue and not get punched in the groin for it??
I like Jay Baruchel, but this movie was doomed for me when they signed on Lord of the Wigs….
I haven't watched a Nicholas Cage movie since 'Gone in 60 Seconds'. Sounds like Sorcerer's Apprentice isn't a reason to break the streak.
Compared to the books, the Harry Potter movies are disappointing, IMO. I watched Order of the Pheonix this weekend, and to me, they cut out the interesting stories and sandwiched a couple of montages between the beginning and the end. Had I not actually read Order of the Pheonix, I would have been quite lost in a couple of places. I understand that they have to cut things out to make books 4-7 fit in the time alotted to a movie, but in watching the films, it sometimes seems like they cut relevant story in order to showcase big effects.
Cage strikes me as a true geek that would likely still be in his parents' basement had he not made a break in acting. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy in movies just fine, but he always comes off as just slightly out-of-it where the real world is concerned.
I like Nicholas Cage, but I likely still won't see this one. I was hoping that maybe it would fall into the quirky-fun category that National Treasure occupies, but if the story itself seems to have no real reason to be, then I'll wait for it to debut on Scy-Fy Saturday.
5 dollars? What movie theater were you going to go to? I want to go to that one too!
Yeah, there are a lot of great subplots which get lost in the time constraints of the movies. It's not as bad as it could have been, since Rowling got final say on everything ( which is why Spielberg passed on directing ). The whole subplot of S.P.E.W., for example, I found annoying when reading, but it turned out to be rather important in the Ron/Hermione development, as well as helping to raise one of the participating armies at the Battle of Hogwarts. I consider it a bit of a treat, however, that only those of us who have read the books have been introduced to Peeves. Like Tom Bombadil, I question how he would have translated to the screen.
I don't know. I like Harry Potter. But, Nolte brings up a good point here about the rules of magic. The best books including magic always have some kind of understandable rules about how that magic can be used. Even if they are never really explained completely. The rules of magic in Harry Potter made me crazy sometimes. My biggest problem was with the use of wands. If you have an innate magical ability or gift it shouldn't matter so much about the quality of wand you have to help you focus the magic. At least in my mind if you are really powerful you should be able to do great magical spells without the "proper" flicks of a wand, or without a wand at all.
Nitpicking but I never liked that concept in the book. I am sure many will disagree but while I can understand it helping to focus power, a wand shouldn't be the main way you can use your power coherently.
Oh, and yes I have seen and read far too many sci-fi and fantasy stories. But really in my world their almost can't be too many as long as they are well done.
The characters aren’t very well developed.
Ummm… Hel-loooo… Monica Bellucci is in it. As far as developed goes, 'nuff said.
There are some low price second run theaters. There's one in the next town over where I think they charge $3 for second and third run movies.
Oh, I completely agree that Peeves is flavor to the setting and not really central to anything. Thus, he can safely be cut. However, I found that the way they ignored Dumbledore's treatment of Harry throughout the book only served to undercut both the reasons behind ordering the lessons with Snape and the final scene where Dumbledore apologizes to Harry in terms of its emotional impact.
I guess in short that Order of the Pheonix could have been streamlined for the screen in a much more satisfying way.
Can't stand Trapped in Paradise, but I can tolerate Ghost Rider.
For me its either Moon Struck or Raising Arizona.
And always, Con Air and the Rock. I must have seen those two at least a dozen times each.
Agreed about subplots getting lost on the way to the screen. To Kill a Mockingbird is an excellent example.
I'm surprised anyone wanted to even try to bring that to the screen, but they pulled it off pretty good, even though its a mere shadow of the book.
Heard that too. I heard he was having a mansion or two foreclosed on.
Just a couple of weeks ago I got my first chance to watch Captain Corelli's Mandolin. I was bored to tears during the first half of the movie and ready to change channels, when suddenly it took off.
Over all, I think its was good enough. Even though its a pretty hard to buy plot, I thought he did a great job portraying the emotions of a man of peace turning into a man of war when circumstances required it.
I'd forgotten about The Family Man. That is a really good movie. A nice twist on Wonderful Life.
I also like Matchstick Men.
I've seen 60 Seconds about 30 times. My wife loves any movie about fast moving cars. Don't get me started on Fast & Furious.
We actually do have on close to us that is a "dollar" theater. And they actually do have a couple of showings every week that only cost a dollar. I think the normal ticket price is around $3. It just sounded like he was going to go see it soon at a regular theater and I remember when I was in high school I could go to a matinee showing and pay only $5 for a new movie. I was wondering if any theaters in this country showing the new movies still charged that much. Maybe in the middle of the country somewhere?
There could be. The last independent, family owned business in this part of the country (south central upstate New York) closed probably a decade ago.
I remember it well, its where I saw the first Star Trek movie opening night. They actually won the bid against the big regional chain. That was pretty cool.
Fair enough. If I were a car guy, I'd certainly appreciate it more. It had a lot of very expensive looking cars in it.
Well, yeah, Con Air rules.
Yeah, I heard they had a new one out. I think my full reviews are gonna be for albums that have some sort of political significance, but I try to throw tidbits about recent albums into regular articles and my Twitter page. Thanks for reminding me to check that out.
"…for albums that have some sort of political significance."
Precisely why I mentioned it. I'd be interested to hear your entire analysis, but especially on the tracs "Human Rocket," "Sumthin," and "No Place Like Home."
You're most welcome.
Location – Location – Location
It's all about location~ Living in central Florida allows "cheep" matinee till Noon to happen.. It's been like this since '06
John.
Fellow BH fans.
I believe you're missing the point.
I'll be the first to agree that this film is pointless and effects-laden. BUT…..this is a family fare. It's Bruckheimer!
We complain about the tripe that Hollow-wood sends us on a daily basis, and we're not going to support Bruckheimer?
It's not like this is M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" (dear God! please can the studio reimburse me for my time!!). This isn't something you're going to be angry at the studio for wasting your life.
This is…."Hey, I can take my grandmother to this and it'll be fun. And I won't even be embarrassed."
I saw the movie today. Quite entertaining I thought. Unfortunately Monica B has a pretty small part, and does not appear until the end of the movie.
Somehow Nic Cage belongs to the previous century, IMO. All that naïve, careless looser stuff, as many already have mentioned- the low IQ displayed happily, it’s all and meaningless now. The world has changed much, different scenery altogether.
As for magic of any kind, it’s so boring, as if there wasn’t a real struggle of the spiritual world involved, and a very serious one, which really is happening. Instead, they are feeding the public with naïve fairy tales by boring millionaires/have been actors. heh
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