Breaking My Comic-Con Cherry

Like college, Comic-Con was something I’d heard about but never planned on attending. My interest in the “graphic novel” faded sometime in the 70’s when Superman comics hit thirty cents and God created an endless supply of old movies on cable television. Besides, in my mind’s eye the picture wasn’t pretty.  I saw Comic-Con taking place in one of those dreary, sterile hotel banquet halls with off-white walls, harvest gold carpeting and long tables filled with dusty action figures surrounded by excited, pot-bellied fanboys speaking Klingon in homemade Spock costumes.

Which might have been how it was, and even how some purists wish it had stayed, but no more…

Uhm, I mean, No More!

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For first-timers nothing can prepare you for the actual event, including someone warning you that nothing can prepare you. What you’re in for is a monstrous mash-up of film, television, graphic novels, celebrity, and humanity. “Vast” is the only way to describe the San Diego Convention Center. It looks to be as large as one of those “Star Wars” matte paintings which gave infinity of depth to certain locations… and this infinity is packed with people. Tens of thousands of them snaking through aisles, waiting in line for events, stopping at rows and rows of booths filled with catnip; everything from life-size Terminator replicas to Princess Leia key chains, graphic novels, posters, comics, action figures, DVDs…

The event lasts four days, and it’s easy to see why. Just giving the proper attention to everything on the main floor would take a day or three. But scheduled throughout are panels, presentations and sneak peeks held in huge auditoriums on the upper floors.

Luckily I wasn’t alone. Big Hollywood Co-Owner (Andrew’s business partner) Larry Solov came along. Because he’s more organized than I am, we saw more than I would have alone and he was able to shake me out of a few nerd-fits as the vibe of the place bubbled something from deep inside. Did I really want to show Jim Kelly the Bruce Lee drivers license I carry everywhere and ask him to kick my ass? Did I really yell at a couple of “Star Trek” characters for disrupting the dork-space continuum as they recklessly engaged in a phaser war with cyclons from “Battlestar Galactica?” Was that me who subconsciously hummed the iconic episode music after sniffing “Pon Farr” at the Star Trek perfume counter?

Nope. All lies.

L-R: Me, the still impossibly hot Cindy Morgan from “Caddyshack,” and Larry Solov

Familiar faces are everywhere. In just a few hours we saw Lou Ferrigno, Mark Hamill, Big Hollywood’s own Doug TenNapel and Adam Baldwin (both of whom were rock stars constantly surrounded by fans).  Upstairs is where the autograph booths are concentrated. Dozens of fan-favorite stars shift in and out throughout the day and days. We saw Margot Kidder (Lois Lane), Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers), Richard Hatch (Apollo from “Battlestar Galactica”), Adam West (by far the most popular), George Lazenby (James Bond), Maud Adams (Octopussy) and a host of other Bond girls, along with familiar faces from cult films like “The Warriors” and various cable sci-fi shows.

Pose 2 — This time with me, Cindy, and Billy Crudup

And they all charge per autograph. At least twenty bucks for a signed photo but that does include a picture together. Easily the highlight of my day — and quite possibly my life — was getting a signed “Deuce Bigalow” photo from The Mighty William Forsythe (a personable guy but the short-fuse of menace he brings to the screen isn’t all acting). And imagine my excitement when Detective Chuck Fowler agreed to pose for a photo — and I would like to thank Larry for the artful way he captured this once-in-a-lifetime moment:

When you first arrive at Comic-Con make sure to drive up to the Convention Center and get a feel for what it might be like to park nearby. Roll down the window and take in your last breath of “convenience.” Then roll the window back up and look for someone who might help you find parking. Most people you ask will just laugh and walk off. Others are just as unhelpful but at least concerned enough to provide a list of provisions you’ll need for the walk from whatever parking you find back to the Convention Center: canteen, peanut butter crackers, tent…

You’ll end up parking a few miles away but at least it’s for a lot of money, which makes you feel like you parked close by. Then you jump on one of these, which costs nearly as much as parking… one way:

And be sure to remember where you parked. Who knows what these guys charge to pedal a grid throughout downtown San Diego.

Finally, you arrive. The lousy photo below barely captures about 5% of what’s going on outside the Convention Center. Everyone needs a badge to get in, so you have to make your way though all of this to find the will-call area holding yours:

Getting credentialed was fairly easy because Friday was Day 2. Thursday, opening day, was a madhouse.

People are everywhere, thousands of them. Thousands. Larry and I were able to find each other because we were the only ones dressed normally (I keed, I keed).

The first place we visited was the main floor where the atmosphere is filled with excitement and very, very friendly. As packed as it was (and it was packed) everyone’s in a good mood, just happy to be there. No pushing, shoving or even a hint of rudeness or impatience. The longer you’re there, the more impressive this reality becomes because Comic-Conning is hard. Not just the crowds, but the lines. If you want to do anything above and beyond browsing, you have to wait and hope to get in. Screenings, presentations, panels and even some autographs require patience and a willingness to stake out a spot. Even the food lines were daunting.

But still, everyone was in a great mood, having a good time, including me.

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Han Solo and Princess Leia are everywhere. So are Boba Fett and Stormtroopers. This Han sells it because he totally plays it straight (see below). Leia sells it because, well, look at her. Still haven’t figured out the Asian Elvis/Han Solo guy… But I’ll bet someone reading can explain it.

In case it’s still not clear, these photos were taken on 07/24/2009.

You might think this young man is a pale imitation of Harrison Ford, but I’ll bet this guy never had his chest waxed to bring “awareness” to his ailing career deforestation.

This is what happens when you give a camera to a balding, middle-aged heterosexual male.

Everyone loves to pose. Good sports, all.

Don’t let these photos fool you. Comic-Con doesn’t feel at all political. But Barack Obama is our president and he used to be popular, so there were a few things like this around:

The “Obama Inaugural Edition” (left) is about what you’d expect. “President Evil” has Obama taking on zombies with the heroic help of Sarah Palin, John McCain and Hillary Clinton. Just fun. Nothing political.

The ability to Comic-Con for four straight days must take a kind of super-human strength. After eight hours I was wiped and ready to go. So…

Weave through the crowd. $20 for the bike-car guy. Slow ride through sunny downtown San Diego. Get in my car. Crank the air conditioner. Enjoy the quiet and seclusion.

Nice people. Memorable time.