Stand Up Notes from Flyover Country: Obama Announces New Apology Tour
by Jeffrey JenaPresident Obama has made the rehabilitation of the reputation of our country one of his top priorities. He wants to be the Sally Field of the international politics and know that other nations like us! They really, really like us. To achieve that end he has apologized for just about every action of the Bush Administration and yet at the UN this past week several of the people the President has been trying to win over still seemed a bit distant. His new BFF Hugo Chavez did give him a nice “smells like hope” compliment, but several other still haven’t gotten the message.
President of all Iranians — both living and dead in the streets — Ahmadinejad still wants to build a few nukes even though Mr. Obama has told him not to. Colonel Qaddhafi, or Gaddahfi or Khaddafi, or Kaddafy or however you spell it, isn’t on board the love train either.
This has not deterred President Obama! Moving swiftly, he said he will name a new Apology Czar, rumored to be either Jimmy Carter or Maxine Waters and set a schedule for more apologies to settle all past wrongs of the United States.
The President is planning a public World Apology Tour for the interventions, imperialism and mistakes the United States has made in the past. The President believes that only then will everyone hold hands with us and join in a rousing chorus of “Kumbaya.”
The Tour Schedule
November 1st – The President will travel to Berlin, Germany to make amends to the German people for our interference in domestic European politics during the First and Second World Wars. Our nation building efforts were unwarranted and resulted in unforeseen liberty and economic development. The President will recommend the return of Poland and France to German control in reparation.
November 4th – The President will stop in Pyongyang, North Korea to offer our apologies to Kim Jong-il for getting involved in what was basically a civil war. The unintended consequence of this action left half of the Korean people living a comfortable and successful lifestyle while their country stole untold millions of car sales from the Japanese.
November 5th - In Tokyo the President will announce the return of the Philippines and Hawaii to the Japanese for our unwanted interference in Asian-Pacific affairs in the 1940s.
November 11th – Set to coincide with Veteran’s Day celebrations, the President will travel to Appomattox, Virginia to apologize to the former Southern states for the Civil War. He will apologize to the South for imposing the morality of the North and imposing their Judeo-Christian view of slavery on Southern plantation owners.
TBA - Trip to France for apology for taking advantage of them during the Louisiana Purchase. Date for apology to the British for the American Revolution…
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57 Comments
You forgot the December 25th meeting scheduled in Egypt to apologize for the Jewish slaves escaping and forming their own state.
He may as well make a trip to Antartica and apologize to the penguins because its the USA's fault that it's so cold at the south pole.
See if he can work out a trip to my house to apologize to my daughter for mortgaging the future of her country.
I see that due to space constraints you had to make your article brief Jeff, but don't forget the up coming apology to Europe for not bringing socialism to the U.S. fast enough. Hold on let me rethink that, Germany is now fiscally conservative, France is getting there, and it looks like Great Britain and Spain are soon to follow suit.
Any chance of apologizing for ACORN's promotion of child prostitution, public schools leading kiddies in the praise and worship of The One or the endless buildup of insurmountable national debt?
Nah, didn't think so…
…and obviously, I'm a racists for even asking: “ONE-TRICK DONKEY: THE DEMOCRAT AND HIS PRECIOUS RACE CARD” at http://firebreathingchristian.wordpress.com/2009/...
Now Ed, you know he will be much too busy for THAT. Besides she's an American (I assume, please forgive if I am in error) so it must be her fault anyway.
Check out the graphics that go along with this satire entitled "Obama Orders Millions of Roses Airlifted to Europe as Part of Massive Overseas Apology Operation" http://optoons.blogspot.com/2009/06/obama-orders-...
The apology tour is SOOOOO infuriating! Thank you Jeff for at least making me laugh in the midst of my outrage!
I think the "Green" apology tour starts early next year. Don't quote me though.
She's most definitely an American, and damn proud of it too. She's a "Rush baby" once removed. I listen and then reinforce the message.
And I'm chest thumping proud that she is very proud to be an American!
Kind of figured. And good for both of you.
I have to tell you, with me as her father, I didn't think she'd turn out nearly as good as she has. She's close to an honor student in school (pesky geometry), she goes to church with us (almost) every week. And at the moment she's over at her boyfriend's house, who's studying symphony in high school (plays viola), and his parents are even more conservative than I am (I'm a libertarian). She fully understands and agrees with Walter E. Williams' 3 rules for living a life out of poverty.
Some one must be watching over me, watching over her.
They have no choice. With Obama in the White House, they know they'll have to cover their own defenses from now on. And you can't pay for that with food stamps.
Hanging on the wall of my office is a quote from the late Jean Francois Revel who managed to be both a socialist and a realist. When asked about Western self-hatred Revel said "Clearly, a civilization that feels guilty for everything it is and does will lack the energy and conviction to defend itself."
Obama and clearly believes that his election is Year One and that we have entered an era (his) that is untouched, unsullied and unconnected with the "baggage" of the past. He is sui generis, standing above and apart from history ad calling on all to witness his repudiation of all that has gone on before. He believes that by literally surrendering the past to our opponents he will forever buy off the possiblity of trouble, He believes that we will enter a promised land of government-regulated milk-and-honey if only he demonstrates to the world how SORRY we are. This is "magic thinking" on a colossal scale. I'm not a mental health professional and have heretofore rejected the term "narcissist" when used in connection with The One. Based on his performance before the G-20 summit and the UN I now respectfully reverse that position.
Maybe the 52 % that voted for him owes this country the biggest apology.
When Barry says I’m sorry, everyone now replies, “yes we know.”
October 5th, he will sell out his own former home state.
Yeah, sounds about right. He sold out Illinois long ago.
Side issue, I wonder how it will go when the Chinese convert the legal documents to their language and systems, like, say, the birth records. "Lost in Translation" indeed. ;
The little skinny leftist wimps in grammar school used to apologize for everything too.
When does he go on tour to apologize for trying to ruin our country? I'd prefer that while he give the apology, he be dressed in an orange jumpsuit and then a judge sentences him to life in prison for treason.
Then comes the "Red" tour.
Jimmy Carter leaps to mind.
Sounds to me like you have good reason to be proud.
Doctor Williams is very under-appreciated. Funny how he and Thomas Sowell (among so many others) get overlooked when the left look for people to inspire our African-American youth.
I agree, the smartest hour of any media broadcast ever is when Williams interviews Sowell when he's subbing for Rush.
We can always adopt a new president, since this one was foisted on us with lies.
You notice how his shuck and jive act gets old the more he performs it.
Indeed you are correct Edski
Great article. I'm assuming it is written as satire, but with BHO's track record, it's difficult to tell.
Hey…I saw that movie. He'll have to bow and pray to the Great Penguin Spirit, of course. But them penguins sure can dance.
"…she's over at her boyfriend's house, who's studying symphony in high school (plays viola)…"
So, your daughter's dating a gay guy?
Sorry, but I have to take the cheap shots. It's like an internet version of Turret's or something…
"Ooooh, sorry England for ruining your reign with that burdensome Constitution of ours! Don't worry, I ignore it myself too."
I attended a university in Boston and got to know some people at a very prestigious nearby school where the children of politicians, future politicians and the children of Arab Sheiks attended. One thing came across perfectly clear to me: these people were woefully unqualified to lead a marching band let alone a local, state or federal govt. These were fine people but I’d feel more comfortable if they were parking my car instead of forming polices. There should be a requirement for holding political office: If you were not part of the military or were not in organized sports for at least 5 years you’re ineligible to run for office. Sure this would keep some good people from politics but more importantly it would keep the leftwing socialist malcontents away from any position of power.
Soon you will all realize what Chicagoans have known for years- that Barry says, and stand for, very little.
Even his Marxist instincts are not fervent; he has Michelle and his 'handlers' for that. He prefers la dolce vita,
and a couple of million taxpayer dollars for date night suits him- and his impressive ego- quite well.
No, his apologia is being designed by someone else. Just WHO is the question…
I think you can qualify to set policy if your a Gay…….have you seen this story??….http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2009/09/h...
Whoa baby…. your on a roll, keep it going
Barry, the great Apologist, the great Bozo…at it again…while our troops die, he's out campaigning, again, for the Olympics…great priorities from this community organizer….
As long as a joke is funny, I love them, bring them on!
Told my wife about your comment, and she's still laughing out loud.
This is why leftwing degenerates need to be kept 100' from children and banned from entering schools.
Aslater, my response is lost in moderation. Basically I had said it's unbelievable.
This morning driving to work I caught a portion of a comment on the radio that said some leftwing cretins were going to protest priests that abuse children. That's all well and good but how about protesting those that have caused greater harm to children: liberal teachers. Over the last month I've heard of at least 3 cases of teachers sexually abusing their children; one of the liberal deviants was a principal. If the media didn't try to cover up for for this democrat faction, like they tried with ACORN, SEIU and the NEA, we could hear stories daily of teachers sexually abusing children.
IntenseDebate Notification <DIV dir=ltr align=left>The more I hear and read, the more I think we've got a cesspool in DC…..I'm getting so pissed off I'm starting to think in 4 letter words</DIV>
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He needs to apologize for himself,not for America.Most of America does not agree with what he has done,is doing,and will continue to do in coming years.Most think he's unqualified and in over his head but I strongly disagree because ITS NOT OUR BEST INTEREST that he has in his head.He is very qualified,cunning,and is doing a great job if he is in fact the enemy.It is impossible for him to do what most Americans feel is right,because he's for wealth redistribution,social justice,and is more interested in being a globalist instead of being an American President.He will continue to push for a 1 world government in which he has a seat at the table.I truly believe he thinks he' some sorta prophet and knows better for all than they do themselves.
According to him his job is destroy our economy so that all will dependent on government and everyone will be equal.To him a whino crackhead in an alley is the same an average 40hr week American trying to play by the rules and support their family.He is just a mugger camoflauged as robin hood.Just like acorn,the dims,and the other hundred tentacles of this USA-Capitalist hating monster.
Obama is a retard!
When will Obama apo;ogize for wasting $11.2 trillion dollars of the tax payers money!
Obama is a retard!
When will Obama apologize for wasting $11.2 trillion dollars of the tax payers money!
well said!
Right on! Great column!
Ahmadinejad still wants to build a few nukes even though Mr. Obama has told him not to.
We'll KNOW when Iran has nuclear weapons………………………………………….when it takes the form of a mushroom shaped cloud over Tel Aviv.
Just wondering. In that November 5 speech, does he demand the return of occupied China too? After all, it's a big country. They can give some back to the Japanese, in the interest of world peace and all.
Can anyone ever recall a president or prime minister of a country globe trotting for the sole purpose of denigrating his country? This clown is a national disgrace. There's some kind of deep psychological issues with a politician that feels compelled to incessantly apologize for his nation, it's even more disturbing when that nation is the greatest force for good the world has ever known.
I'm ashamed to have this America hating rank amateur and political neophyte for a president.
This jugeared narcissistic manchild was able to accomplish one stunning goal: he got the Israelis and palestinians to agree: obama is pathetically naive and in way over his head. Maybe obama can walk around the streets of Chicago passing out strawberry flavored hope&change blunts to the leftwing losers but in the real world being cool doesnt mean shyt. This ghetto sounding clown should be on American idol not in the White House.
Talk is Cheap……………..
After apologizing to the penguins, and moving them to warmer climes, he can move on to apologize to the polar bears for the sparsity of penguins, who could be, depriving the bears a food source.
So many apologies to make so little time.
Maybe Obama should apologize to the troops in Afganistan for hanging them out to dry.
Audio from Mark Levin Obama on hammering on the subject:
<a href="http://motorcitytimes.com/mct/mark-levin-hammers-…” target=”_blank”>http://motorcitytimes.com/mct/mark-levin-hammers-…
It's nice to know there are some festive events planned leading up to the Holidays….perhaps I'll throw an Apology Party for friends and family. Like Superbowl only earlier.
Here's an Obama apology I would like to see:
Obama should apologize to the people of South Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia for America's abandonment of that region in the 1970s. Millions of innocent people were slaughtered by communists and dictators because America got "tired" of fighting.
Obama needs to look no further than Ken in Irvine. A natural.
Did you know penguins don't NEED to live in freezing weather? I love the little waddlers, but they're morons. Grats on 100 points!
Indeed! Should bring them on tour.
And then follow it with a spending bill to provide transportation to the polat bears from the arctic to antartica so they can eat the penguins… followed by another environmental bill to protect the penguins from the polar bears and transporting the penguins to the arctic.. and then over and over and over…
Wow, been away for a bit and didn't realize I hit 100.
but yes, not very bright, but they are sharp dressers.
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