Stand Up Notes from Flyover Country: Snake on a Plane!
by Jeffrey JenaI don’t want to seem too preoccupied with the past. I don’t want to dwell on old wrongs. I know we have all moved into the age of Obama where we will all cooperate, have bipartisan government and hold hands with Islamic terrorists, (I’m sorry, I meant to say with Islamic manufacturers of man-made disasters) — and the past is forgiven. Unless your name is Bush or Chaney, in which case you need to be made to pay for screwing up the reputation for weakness and capitulation Bill Clinton took eight long years to build.
Which brings me to my subject; did anyone besides me see the irony in sending Bill Clinton, perhaps the most famous serial philanderer of the past two centuries, to pick up two hot Asian girls in North Korea? Was it the ultimate in Asian carry out!
How did that go down? Was Bill sitting in his Laze-E-Boy while Hillary was talking on the phone to the North Koreans? She hangs up and says, “I got the release all worked out. Now ,if I could just find someone who wouldn’t mind sitting on a private jet for twelve hours with two hot Asian women.” Before you can say Paula Flowers, Bill is on his way to the airport with a blue suit and a bottle of Viagra.
Did the women know the ride home was going to be with the biggest snake of them all on the plane? I wonder how the North Koreans broke the news. “Listen ladies, you can go home with Bill Clinton or stay here for ten years of hard labor.” They look at each other and say, “How many years was that?”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for Ms. Laura Ling and Ms. Euna Lee. There are some questions that need to be answered: Why were two of Al Gore’s employees hanging on the China/North Korea border? Why didn’t Big Al hop on one of his carbon-neutral personal jets and go pick up these two women? What were they doing there to begin with? Did the Chinese government know they were there? What did we give the North Koreans for the release of these two women?
Call me cynical but I don’t think a few pictures with Bill Clinton and some carbon credits from Al Gore would do the trick. Once again the Obama administration has shown that it’s business as usual in Washington where the same old people get all the good gigs.
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94 Comments
this was an orchestrated event from Day One…
Ling and Lee, snooping around the China/NK border are apprehended. The NK's are still furious over Ling's sister Lisa and her stealth doc on North Korea for NatGeo TV. They get revenge. Score so far NK 1, Al Gore's looney TV channel and the Ling sisters- 0. Barter on the public and private channels. NK gets a photo op with Billy C. Gore and Obama get dissed. Score NK 3, Bill Clinton 1, and Obama, Gore, Hillary- still zero.
He flies home on Hollywood producer Steve Bing's 737. A great phot op at Burbank airport ensues. Score now NK 4, Bill Clinton 2, Ling and Lee 1 (the inevitable book/made for cable film) and everyone else still zero…
Got it?
I am sure they didn't break it to the women until they were on the plane. Why you ask? They arrived here in the US.
I saw Hillary on TV last night, she was in Africa lecturing people about sexual abuse and the rape of women, funny? No. Ironic? Yes.
Bill is an equal opportunity masher.
<<That makes his choice in spouses all the more mystifying>>
Maybe it was reverse Oedipal.. he always longed for a Dad.
Al Gore – media whore.
The Clinton's a Corporation.
I'm not sure about the characterization of these women as "hot" unless you are applying Bubba's own admittedly non-existant standards on that subject.
Cheney (not Chaney – that's the scary dude, Lon), Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones (not Paula Flowers).
That is why I never believed Katherine Willy's allegations. She was tall, slim, educated, polished. She did not seem to fit his taste in trailer park girts. I figured she was trying to bust his balls for a job and he said no.
Clinton's taste in women requires only that they be willing, more or less………
The writer asks all good questions.
One more: where are the media follow-ups to this story? Is it over? Nothing left to declare?
Why haven't we heard more about the connection between the announcement of fast-tracking the production of Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOPS) (http://blog.canoe.ca/canoedossier/2009/08/11/u_s_... the release of these two?
And please hold all penetrator/Clinton jokes, please. I'm sure we can think of them all on our own.
Why haven't we heard more about the connection between the announcement of fast-tracking the production of Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOPS) (http://blog.canoe.ca/canoedossier/2009/08/11/u_s_... the release of these two?
And please hold all penetrator/Clinton jokes, please. I'm sure we can think of them all on our own.
Why haven't we heard more about the connection between the announcement of fast-tracking the production of Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOPS) (http://blog.canoe.ca/canoedossier/2009/08/11/u_s_... and the release of these two?
And please hold all penetrator/Clinton jokes, please. I'm sure we can think of them all on our own.
Funny that Kim did not want Al. He is morphing more and more into an Asian every day. Here is a series of pics welcoming the women home. Seriously, look at ol' fat Al. http://209.157.64.200/focus/chat/2309665/posts
Al dunks donuts, Bill dunks…
I am glad for Bill. It does a codger good to know he can still get the ladies ~
While we're at it, it's called a La-Z-Boy. This site really needs a copy editor.
Paula Flowers??? I'm guessing that was deliberate because you couldn't decide which to use?
Sending Bill to Pyongyang, grabbing the gals and bringing them back to a heroes welcome was not what Hillary needed. If you saw her snap the other day, things look a bit dismal in Camelot. That prune face can only be the result of more philandering by Uncle Bill. You know the last thing he wants to do is return home.
Jack – I've never seen her looking worse. Boy did Obama play her for a sucker. She is perhaps the least powerful Sect. State in history. Enjoyed Montserrat BTW
There seems to be such a straight forward connection between National Socialism and the Democratic Party.
Mussolini and Hitler seem to be the same kind of meglomaniacs that Clinton/Kerry/Obama are. What is the connection between Utopian Socialist parties and the need to be led by meglomaniacs?
Though he wasn't a family values preacher like so many conservatives at least he didn't quit and run ilke Newt, unless you've all forgotten how Newt dragged Bill through the mud for his dalliance while the cold blooded ilzard man cheated on his own wife. The difference? Bill's still married but Newt served his wife papers in her hospital room. Yup, libs don't have a monopoly on bad behavior, but conservatives certainly have a monopoly on sleazy behavior. But seriously folks, don't you think (R) Mark Sanford takes the cake on "sparking" in Argentina? Oh that's right, your side is gult free, and these pages are just for you to slam the half of the country you hate. You know, how did the Palin creature put it? The bad parts?
Thanks TJ! The second book is kind of fun too. I really appreciate it!
i suspect those two gals deplaned crying from the horror they experienced on the plane ride home. NO ESCAPE!!!
i suspect those two gals deplaned crying from the horror they experienced on the ride home. NO ESCAPE!!!
I'm willing to allow that the "Paula Flowers" reference may have been an attempt to use a merged name to represent all the infidelities. The rest of the mistakes make it hard to say though…
Dude, they weren't that hot….
And let's face it, they might have felt a little better about hanging with the Dear Loser if Bill decided to go old skool and hit them with the "Pressed Ham On Glass" routine….
The Hillary meltdown they showed all over the news yesterday was very telling was it not? Bill can still steal the spotlight while Obama schleps her off to all the farthest corners of the world to get her out of the way. I wonder how this will play out? Will she flip Obama the bird and make another run for president in 2012? That could be interesting.
As for Clinton's taste in women… and that they only be willing, more or less
I disagree. I think his standard is:
They only need a pulse, or are at least still relatively warm.
The video of the one woman turning to gaze at Bubba and coo her gratitude would have brought the article full circle. It was absolutely embarrassing to watch. The look on Bills face was pure gold.
The real questions posed in this article will never, ever be asked or answered. While I am very happy the girls are back, I do wonder if they'll ever recognize how their actions (mistakes or not) now affect the position of America. If it were me, I would be mortified.
Yeah because BC is a rapist… please
Jeffrey,
Enjoy your humor on this one like the many you have posted. To bad you were not at his Birthday party in Las Vegas this week. I am sure Terry and Bill shared a few you may not have thought of(jokes that is).
Glad we did get the two back I think this may be a first for the US in getting anything from N. Korea.
That's not the correlation I was making, but it's funny you should.
unless you look at it as a political/business alliance.
They always did strike me as a John Iselin / Eleanor Shaw sort of combination.
She just might go for 2012, it fits her profile. If life with Bill has revealed one thing it's that Hillary is a glutton for punishment, and has a bit of the 'clean up girl' addiction in her personality. I'm sure she is secretly dying to get in there and clean up the Obama mess. You would think after all these years, especially the last few, she would have gotten the message. Still that probably battles with her unending desire for power, funny she's caught in her own Catch 22….publicly she can't win, and personally she can't afford to lose (again).
StlDan, they all know what Billy Bob is, though they'll lie and deny cause that's their stock in trade. Common Sense? Hardly.
I recognize that posting here isn't any of the authors' primary jobs–something pretty common on blogs–but I have to agree that there are a lot of basic spelling, etc. errors consistently. Even a cursory fact/spell check would help. I'm going to agree that perhaps Big Hollywood needs a larger editing budget/staff?
The next big news will be the tearful, gauzy interviews. My money's on Oprah getting first crack, as Lisa Ling often appears on her show, but perhaps Barbara Walters will rise from her crypt and score as Ling used to be on the View.
It must drive you Clinton haters crazy to have him and Al Gore center stage again as heroes. Seeing them was almost like the good old days when the economy was booming, the world trade center was still standing and the U.S. wasn't caught up in a 6 year war over imaginary weapons of mass destruction. I love it.
I think we need a new definition of "hot Asian woman"…
Well, penhead….. are you not the Un-American Brooks Brothers wearin, tea drinkin mobster today.
I'm glad they're home but I worry about the precedent that has been set. The Clinton jokes are obvious and numerous but I don't want us to lose sight of the important question. Jenna poses it and I stated it in a related post last week. What were they doing there? The media isn't going to ask and I doubt we ever find out.
this was an orchestrated event from Day One…
Ling and Lee, snooping around the China/NK border are apprehended. The NK's are still furious over Ling's sister Lisa and her stealth doc on North Korea for NatGeo TV. They get revenge. Score so far NK 1, Al Gore's looney TV channel and the Ling sisters- 0. Barter on the public and private channels. NK gets a photo op with Billy C. Gore and Obama get dissed. Score NK 3, Bill Clinton 1, and Obama, Gore, Hillary- still zero.
He flies home on Hollywood producer Steve Bing's 737. A great photo op at Burbank airport ensues. Score now NK 4, Bill Clinton 2, Ling and Lee 1 (the inevitable book/made for cable film) and everyone else still zero…
Got it?
I'm not sure about the amorous angle on Bill Clinton rescuing two Asian ladies.
Clinton's taste in women always ran towards big-haired, big-busted, made-up tartish types. I'm not big on Freud, but Bill did have a pretty obvious Oedipus complex.
That makes his choice in spouses all the more mystifying, unless you look at it as a political/business alliance.
Didn't the world trade center get bombed when he was in office, and didn't his administration say that the culprit was osama bin laden, and then do nothing about it ? Which let them build up for 9/11…….and I also thought that the economy was booming because policies that bush sr enacted in the last year of his term?…………one other thing, when was al gore ever a hero? – was it when his wife took on dee snider?
Agreed. The Hillary meltdown was the most interesting piece of news to come out of the whole thing.
BTW, at this point, I would love for Hillary to run against Obama in 2012. That would give us two chances to remove him.
I think old Billy simply called in a favor on this one. It came down to Clinton reminding Kim Jong Il that he wouldn't even have a functional nuclear program today if it wasn't for the sweet deal Clinton gave him in 1994. Clinton told Kim to go along with any U.N. Sanctions imposed on North Korea since they are only for show and have no teeth to them anyway. Lastly, Clinton assured Kim Jong Il that the two ladies are in fact only journalists and not government operatives. Thus, any documentary that might come to fruition will only be viewed by a few "Hollywood Elitists" who don't really do anything more than slap a bumper sticker on their car denouncing whatever injustice they've chosen to be offended by that month. Then they donate more money to fund the next expose of some ghastly unimaginable social inequity they plan to do nothing about. You see Kim isn't really that difficult to work with.
"How did that go down? Was Bill sitting in his Laze-E-Boy while Hillary was talking on the phone to the North Koreans?"
When you need someone to de-brief a couple of women… Bill's your man!
Why haven't we heard more about the connection between the announcement of fast-tracking the production of the Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOPs) bunker buster (<a href=”http://blog.canoe.ca/canoedossier/2009/08/11/u_s_…” target=”_blank”>http://blog.canoe.ca/canoedossier/2009/08/11/u_s_… and the release of these two?
And hold all penetrator/Clinton jokes, please. I'm sure we can think of them all on our own.
[...] noise ever since the first jet planes arrived at the Burbank airport 40 years ago. … Stand Up Notes from Flyover Country: Snake on a Plane!A great phot op at Burbank airport ensues. Score now NK 4, Bill Clinton 2, Ling and Lee 1 (the [...]
How convenient! I need a job. ^_____^
I'm with you. Hillary running would be great. And I think she'll do it.
I think John Nolte mentioned once he's the only editor for the site– some help seems in order. But hey, I like the site so I'm not going to complain too much. Too damn hard to find like-minded people for me to look a gift horse in the mouth.
I love all the grief Obama is getting right now. I love seeing the Dems squirm during the town hall meetings. Not even seeing Clinton in the spotlight could ruin my good mood right now.
They all want someone to redress some kind of outrage they feel, and naturally gravitate to the mutt who promises the most help to accomplish that.
Hopey: "Hope and Change." Clinton: "I feel your pain." Kerry: "They are like Genghis Khan." Hitler: "The repression of the Aryan Race by ___." Mussolini: "We can be the Roman Empire again." Marx: "The proletariat is repressed by the bourgeoisie, and must eventually break it down."
Contrast that with Ronald Wilson Reagan: "I won the nickname the great communicator. But I never thought it was my style that made a difference – it was the content. I wasn't a great communicator, but I communicated great things."
True, but it's a bit like going to a restaurant where they never quite clean the tables off: the food may be good but you're always careful where you're setting down your purse. I guess I consider high end sites to have the same basic standards as a reputable paper–spelling & basic facts. If I want slipshod writing, I'll go to Gawker. (C'mon Breitbart–isn't there some intern you could get for free to copy edit?)
I don't hate Clinton!
Where else can I get such entertainment?
He goes and gets the women, the Sec. of State; his old lady, BTW, isn't even on the same continent, but eating rubber what-have-you and lecturing about women's rights in Africa, the Dali-Bama looks ineffectual, and Algore is doing a "where's Waldo?" Kim Jong the pimple gets to stick his finger in America's governmental eye and get a former President to fly over and beg on his hands and knees to His Minisculeness.
You're right, I love it. Actually, I would think you might be a little more upset, Norman. But hey, delusion seems to be the disease dujour there on the statist side nowadays…
Alleged. Did you watch Juanita Broaderick's interview?
As far as I know, her statement was never discredited. People just can't believe it could be true.
I'm kind of with you there, Jed. I've seen some hot Asian chicks in my day.
That's a pretty good analysis.Paranoia plays a large part in the equation, as well. There needs to be an enemy comprised of "others" who are out to get them. The Charismatic Leader comes along and promises to protect them from the Others and get their stuff back.
To be fair, this works just as well for the right wing. We just don't have a Charismatic Leader right now…
OK, there was absolutely no reason for my comment to be shuttled off to the site admin. This sucks.
Not a snowball's chance in Hell that Hillary runs against a democratic incumbent in 2012. The system just doesn't work that way.
BTW – she looked like she's gained 50 pounds since becoming Secretary of State. I guess every place she goes they're putting out the full buffet.
Ditto.
It's just sad to me that people like "Norman" don't understand the cause and effect between the economy during the Clinton years (artificial housing bubble created by bad government policy; artificially inflated market due to overvalued 'dot com' properties) and the economy now. Yet, in his mind, he's probably much more sophisticated and aware than I am.
As to the "imaginary weapons of mass destruction", the fact that they were never recovered only necessarily means that they're still out there somewhere. I've said this before, but we watched truck convoys rolling across Western Iraq into Syria prior to the war. We weren't allowed to intercept them, so we'll never know what was on board. But it wasn't Uday's pron collection. We did recover that…
That having been said, Bush didn't do nearly enough to fix some of the crap that Clinton left us with. But, "the good old days"? Not so much…
Actually, I think Bill's forte is in having the women "de-brief" him.
And didn't your boy George have every intention of continuing the status quo as far as Bin Laden's concerned? Try and find any reference to terrorism during the 2000 election. Everybody was asleep at the wheel. Nobody cared until 9/11. And if Clinton's financial boom was because of George Sr. then I guess the financial disaster now is the fault of George Jr. You guys make me laugh. I just found this site a couple of weeks ago. I wish I could have seen it on the night Obama was elected. You guys must have been catatonic.
Ouch! Ouch! That hurt! I don't really care about Obama and his health plan. I don't live in the U.S. I just don't like your fomer president.
Well of course you're going to say there were WMDs. How else are you going to excuse Bush's screw-up and the death of thousands of Americans but much more importantly, the deaths of many many thousands of Iraqis thanks to the badly planned and executed invasion of a sovereign nation.
Actually I guess you could say Gore was a hero in that he went to Vietnam. And he's from a wealthy background so he probably could have gotten out of it like Bush did when at the height of the conflict he decided to do his part by joining the air national guard. Same goes for John Kerry.
I'm also curious as to why, in spite of having nothing to eat but rocks and rice, these small-boned Asian women still managed to look remarkably well fed. I can promise you that if that were true they would be very emaciated looking.
if she can fog a mirror, bubba's in the hunt.
Well, the fact that I was working for the Air Force with a top secret clearance from 1974-2006, and served in Saudi Arabia during the time in question, should give my views on the matter a little credibility.
Where were you?
I believe your scoring of the event to be accurate!
Working as a printer.
I guess that just means that Saddam outsmarted the Bush administration.
Who would you have hold your paycheck , Billy Boy or Juanita? That's all you need to know when it comes to who to trust when they are giving their story.
SQT thank you for geting the Paula Flowers thing. As to the Chaney/Cheney thing I take full responsibility! And will take the same amount of punishment as any pol or CEO who has done the same in the last 20 years.
no umpires were harmed in the scoring of this event…
I think Kimmy got a new pair of shoes from Billy to walk all over the US with and insure his Nucs aren't touched. Next will be the loosening of santions and a return to 'normalization of relations'. Makes me wanna puke. Obama chickenheart got his way and Billy got to play. So it goes.. No wonder most Africans and Asians are confused about which Clinton is really Secretary of State.
France, Russia, England and others all had intelligience saying Iraq had WMD's
when did we start negotiating with terrorists? Oh, when bush left office. Silly me, forgot, new prez, new rules or just make them up as u go along. I couldn't help but think the same thing. That these two girls were hit on by slick willy!
God in Heaven, man. You can spin anything.
That Saddam was sure a crafty devil. Worked out real well for him in the end.
What a half-wit.
Newt Gingrich is a cold-blooded lizard, Palin is a creature and you are talking about others hating? Take a look at your own rhetoric.
And to try to hold up the sham marriage of William Jefferson Elmer Freakin' Gantry to the Queen of Hell as your ideal explains a lot.
I have a journalism degree (not that that means much anymore) and I make plenty of mistakes when I write a post. Some days the eyes just don't pick up the mistakes. And I agree with Maat; Big Hollywood should have someone to look over the posts. A second pair of eyes is often the best cure.
Ah, so SQT was correct. In that case, you get a "tsk" (half a "tsk tsk!").
Well I was being a bit glib but seriously, either there were no wmd's and Saddam bluffed the world or the entire program was spirited away to another country. Either way, it doesn't look good for the Bush administration's legacy. Even Bush himself has said that there were probably no WMDs.
And as for Saddam himself, live by the sword, die by the sword. I don't think he expected to live to a ripe old age.
Here's what we found over there: the empty portable field labs that were used to make chemical and biological agents, and a pile of raw uranium big enough to make 100 nuclear bombs. Grant you, the uranium pre-dated the sanctions. But it's a weird argument to say that Bush "lied" about Hussein trying to obtain yellow cake uranium from North Africa, because he already had stockpiled the makings of 100 bombs.
As to chemical and biological weapons, the problem the civilian populace at large has with this is, you don't understand how small an amount of a lethal substance is needed to wipe out a major population center. We aren't talking warehouses full of the stuff. Picture something the size of a mayonaisse jar. I'll go hide it somewhere in the Mojave Desert. Now you go find it.
The "entire program" probably could have fit in the back of a deuce-and-a-half. I already told you we watched truck convoys rolling across the border into Syria. What do you think was on board?
I guess we'll never know.
Actually, I can promise you we will know.
It's only a matter of time before some of that stuff finds its way into our country. It's probably already here. When it's set off, Jack Bauer won't show up at the last minute to save us.
I wonder if anyone in the news media, or anyone on the left side of the political iasle, will have the decency to apologize to George Bush for calling him a "liar"?
No, that isn't true. I don't wonder about that at all…
Actually, I can promise you we will know.
It's only a matter of time before some of that stuff finds its way into our country. It's probably already here. When it's set off, Jack Bauer won't show up at the last minute to save us.
I wonder if anyone in the news media, or anyone on the left side of the political aisle, will have the decency to apologize to George Bush for calling him a "liar"?
No, that isn't true. I don't wonder about that at all…
Well Old_Tom, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. And if something bad does happen I guess the right will say the stuff came from Iraq whether they can prove it or not.
By the way, I never thought Bush was a liar. I think he truly thought they were there, whether they were or not.
I had to google Jack Bauer. Never seen the show even once but the girl that plays his daughter used to live right down the street from me when she was a kid.
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