Euroweenie Finals: Spain Topples France
by Jeffrey JenaThe end of an era in world history is always an occasion to note. The results are in and Spain has replaced France as the top Euroweenie country.
France has long held the title coveted by liberal socialist as the European country that most loves kowtowing to dictators and terrorists. France has been at the top of the heap without a serious challenge since the beginning of World War I. Their long history of puckering up for despots from the Kaiser to Kadafi made them a powerhouse. Their willingness to lay down their culture and country to the recent flood of immigrants from the Middle East made them seem unbeatable.
The French had recently become blasé about their position even to the point of banning the hijab in public schools and electing a conservative government. Even with these signs of weakness no serious challenges were seen to be arising.
Then two weeks ago, out of the blue, formerly sixth place Spain finished a shrewd and quietly conceived campaign to topple the long recognized champs. This coup was accomplished in three steps. First, the election in 2004 brought to power a far left wing party who promised to withdraw from Iraq, work for unity with Islamic fundamentalists, and make amends for the Spanish Civil War. The terrorist assured the election of these Spanish Euroweenies when it bombed trains in Madrid and allowed the Spanish to quake in their collective pants all the way to the polls.
Second, after the election of the leftist government the Spanish legislature passed a law which allowed the judiciary in Spain to indict anyone, for anything, anywhere. With this framework in place the Spanish were ready to strike. Judge Baltasar Garzon, long time anti American activist began to indict American officials for “crimes against humanity.” With that final maneuver Spain jumped to number one in the rankings moving France to number two for the first time in over ninety years.
The French have promised to mount a comeback as soon as they are attacked by Germany again or figure out the whole bathing thing.
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162 Comments
No!! I've got a metric ton of French jokes, but very few Spanish jokes. Lousy French, let me down again.
Do you know why the French planted trees on the Champs E' lyse?….So the Germans could march in the shade.
We just elected our leftist government, I wonder where that would put us in the Euroweenie Finals?
Let's send Alec Baldwin and Sean Penn to Spain.
For shame. How can you speak so of the nations our illustrious leaders wishes to model our nation after? Would that all nations and leaders were so quick to bend over as France and Spain the world would be an endless love train. Right?
All kidding aside. One of your statements caught my attention.
"First, the election in 2004 brought to power a far left wing party who promised to withdraw from Iraq, work for unity with Islamic fundamentalists, and make amends for the Spanish Civil War."
Unity! Unity with Islamic fundamentalists?!? Did they actually state this or is this your opinion? Seeking harmony/peace with Islam/Muslims is one thing but to seek UNITY with fundamentalists is another. Is it your opinion that fundamentalists and extremists are the same? If so then Unity in this case would simply be another way of surrendering.
looks like the leftist red cross are in on it too: http://www.nybooks.com/icrc-report.pdf
I know, "Fold like Spain" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
Hmm. American failure ruins the global economy and people still point at Europe, apparently for charging people in foreign countries with crimes. America does that.
It's good to see the underdog win in these things.
While not a Spanish joke per sé, this is about a famous Spaniard.
Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like. On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
To erudite? Ok. how 'bout:
Q: How many Spaniards does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just Jaun
Uh oh. I hear the PC Police knocking.
Hey, what about Queen Isabella ? Didn't she fund what is now known as the European Invasion of America ??
That was pretty ballsy.
This is going to take some getting use to.
You know that all French Tanks are made with four gears right? One forward, and three reverse.
How exactly did American failure ruin the global economy? Do yourself a favor and read this before responding…
http://www.nypost.com/seven/04092009/postopinion/...
Why did the Spaniard cross the road?
Because a year is a long time to wait… even for a government run bus.
I'm married to a Spaniard, and I've been living in Spain over the last several years. Your statements about the current Spanish government are mostly true. Also, corruption has run rampant throughout all levels of government here. And, speaking of the population in general, they have long since bought into the lifestyle of doing only the bare minimum to keep 'big mommy government' in control of their welfare, their retirement, their healthcare, and many other aspects of their lives, that the typical Spaniard now views as rights or entitlements. The ironic thing is that most of the America-hate one can observe in Spain is quite transparently just envy wrapped in a thick layer of hypocrisy.
They think it's popular to speak of American flaws, racism being a favorite, when the majority of the Spaniards you'll meet are still openly and offensively racist in their everyday language, except that they are incapable of recognizing it. They're certain that they're all smarter, thinner and better at enjoying life than any American, but are simply blind to the fact that they are being held back by the people they keep electing, and that they are going to continue to live in tiny, cramped "houses," drive crappy little French cars, pay several times as much for gasoline as they should, and still get paid half as much for the same job as an American.
What pisses me off is that you guys, back in the U.S. seem to have started electing imbeciles and self-haters who want these same things, that Europeans have, for your own country.
I fear it's already too late for Spain.
But, come on! Stop trying to emulate them!
And, on another note, someone needs to start having some good ol' patriotic American babies, and make it impossible to get in the U.S. illegally, and easier to get in legally.
Yes, make it easier to become an American, legally. But, only if you start defending the actual border.
Joking aside, IRL french tanks do have 5 forward and 5 reverse gears.
One of my friends says to NEVER joke about that in front of Foreign Legion troops. Regular French Army will just give you dirty looks though.
How long will it be before the good old USA will be able to claim it spot back at #1. It looks like the moves we are making in the international scene it should be 3,2,#1
International law is neither.
How do you tell a Spanish soldier? Sunburned armpits.
No! It just doesn't work! Come back to us France! You put the Cow in Cowardly. Come back to us!
Are you sure it's not a photo finish?
This breaks my heart. My dad is from Spain and I've been there before and love the country and the people I met there.
"Denmark had even fallen so low as legalizing blablabla and marijuana"
No we haven't and right now there's a turfwar going on between immigrant gangs and bikers about the control of the dope market.
And this war has stopped all talk about legalizing the socalled soft drugs.
Please get your facts straight!
The author was wrong, as you pointed out. And "nearly" allowing gay marriage isn't the same thing as actually legalizing it. So are the bikers and immigrant groups fighting over control of gay marriage too?
The author was wrong, as you pointed out. And "nearly" allowing gay marriage isn't the same thing as actually legalizing it. So are the bikers and immigrant groups fighting over control of gay marriage too?
LOL, damn I just burst out laughing in a library! Thank you!
And another LOL!
Actually, the French fought the Kaiser hard for four long years. It was after that they became cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
Are you cowtowing to Islam? That's the central issue here. Getting high and drinking, well drinking whatever the hell Danes drink will be irrelevant if you lose control of your country. I used to think it was too cold up there for Muslims but look at Canada. That's a giant walk-in freezer without a door most of the year and it hasn't stopped 'em up there. Maybe Canada is just a weigh station?
We're moving up quick. I think we have to be in the top 5 now with Obama bowing to a Saudi King and running around apologizing to everyone. God I miss Reagan and the days when our country had a pair.
Well to be fair the Foreign Legion can fight, and fight well unless being put into place under UN peacekeeping mandates at least.
Perhaps because, you know, they're made up of non-Frenchmen.
In stacatto racetrack voice "and the "Obowma U.S. is gaining on the backstretch, the jockey is going hard to the whip beating the taxpayer for all he's got, Lefty -France seems to be fading, yes elected a kinda conservative, ya France is getting passed. What's this? HERE COMES HYCOCRITICAL SPAIN!! OH MY! look at that little filly run…looks like the the Scandinavian entries have been doped, yes the jockeys are smoking pot as they approach the 5/8s pole….as the field rounds the final turn and heads for home there's England, wandering around lost, looking for free oats and medical care…."
An oldie but a goodie. The way I actually heard it was they lined all the roads in France with trees for that very reason. But it's still a damn funny joke.
I agree. And when France starts looking like a good option to relocate to, you know it has to be really bad around here.
Now it'll have to be the "unisex beauty attendant of Seville". that savage….
and no gun, just a big cardboard tube filled with excuses and apologies. When you fire, the papers fly out and flutter to the ground and then a white flag pokes out. Gates is in negotiations to buy 500 for the "new" Obowma Army.
And El Cid becomes The Kid. From great warrior against the Moors, to the nice boy on the playground who wants only to be liked by his Muslim brethren worldwide.
Their will to fight broke in 1917, after the Second Battle of the Aisne. That's when the army "mutinied". 30,000 soldiers deserted the front line, 49 infantry divisions "destabilized," and reinforcements apparently "bah'd" like sheep on their way to the front (meant as insult to commanders).
The French never really recovered.
Indeed, next they be talking about giving Andalusia, oops I meant al-Andalus, back to the Muslims. Oh wait some people there are already talking about that. Never mind.
You're right, of course. I'd forgotten about the muntiny.
They already have the new name: Andalusitania.
and the Moors become "well just some,please?"
And "Gladiator" has to be edited. He can't be "the Spainard" anymore. I'm thinking the "Dude That Needs Anger Management Counseling". It's kind of wordy but if Stuart Smalley can steal a senate seat movie characters can have wordy names!
How about "Flame like Spain" ? It's got a dual meaning…
Plus Benecio Del Toro and a minor league leftist to be named later….
After it blows up will they claim it was all because the Americans were illegally smuggling weapons there too?
As I read that I heard it being said in Eddie Izzard's voice. Which makes it even more hilarious! Good work James.
And the Germans didn't even feel the need to march into Paris. Big Berthas lined up all around the city were sufficient for the Parisians to leave the fight to the Brits and Americans.
My aunt lives in a hard-left leaning neighborhood outside of Madrid. She keeps an American flag on a shelf in her living room just to annoy her neighbors, heh heh. Whenever people start complaining about Zapatero (the current PM), she always remind them that they voted for him.
That's exactly it, Smee..most Europeans will put up with any stupid crap as long as the government keeps the bennies coming. I like Spain a lot and I find that most of the people are pleasant and friendly. But they love their siestas, their late nights, and their entitlements.
And since this is a Hollywood site, I should bring up Kubrick's "Paths of Glory." It was a true story about a French attempt at an offensive which ended up with a major defeat as as a result of wholesale desertion and refusal by the French troops to advance. Of course Kubrick made the movie about the unjust execution of deserters and the cruel generals, but the facts speak for themselves. The French command had to fire at the back line of their own troops to keep them from cowering in the trenches and get them to advance against the Germans who suffered no such qualms about fighting. The irony is that the film had to be shot in Bavaria because the French chose to ignore the whole debacle.
Long time NY radio host Bob Grant used to say "the French lost the flower of their manhood in WWi"
You've read the script.
You forgot to put sarcasm quotes around "Humor" in the tags.
He can become "El Estupido, the man who believes in country, family and honor."
Great line, absolutly true. I have a friend who represented the tanker in a collision with a pump off Lybia. He was in Bengazi and naively noted International Law and Agreements to the Lybians gave them 80% due to their shares of the participants. The lybians postponed the apportionment for a week, had the "laws" changed, and my man's tanker was made 90%. Our mutual client wanted to appeal (I was an underwriter at the time) only to have my boss learn that the Brits had agreed to the changes. ILaw is truly neither.
I read an interesting book back in college about France's lightening defeat in the second world war. It was written by a French soldier. I think it was called, "Strange Defeat," but I might not be remembering that correctly. He was the first person I recall who speculated that the Battle of Aisne took away the French will to fight, which he claimed led to their paralysis in WWII once the Germans came at them for real.
That was an interesting movie. Here's a link to an article on the mutiny.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Army_Mutinies...
The article notes 23,385 men convicted of mutiny, 629 death penalties, 2878 sentenced to hard labor.
It didn't stop there really, look at the non-action of the French forces in 1939-40. French divisions crossed into Germany, went a couple-few miles and took some fire, causing them to pull back to their defensive lines in France, leading to the infamous "Sitzkrieg." If the French would have been more aggressive in their probing they would have found out that the German defenses were woefully undermanned and they could in all probability taken the Ruhr (at least) before the Germans could shift the bulk of their army back from Poland. Instead they waited and we all know what happened after that.
I understand they were still a little shell shocked from WWI, but when a regiment of German frontier troops could send a corps sized unit of the French army into retreat, then it shows something much deeper was going on with the French character when it came to conducting warfare.
The White House silence is telling on this issue. If Spain is able to try former US officials, what is there to stop them from trying the Haditha Marines that Murtha slimed? How about any of us that served or are serving in the sandbox? Will the White House sell out to the ICC for the sake of getting along? From what I have seen it is not a a jump to believe that they would.
SUA SPONTE
Interesting way to put it.
She and husband Ferdinand also oversaw the reconquest of Spanish territory from the Moors (Muslims). After uniting Spain, they began an aggressive campaign of expansion. Of course, they also started the Spanish Inquisition……
That's the book, written by Bloch, I also had to read it in college, I still have it here…well somewhere or another.
OK, for some reason this system is not showing all the replies, though they've been mailed to me. Argh.
Anyway, I thought I'd mention the weird coincidence of Andrew mentioning "Strange Defeat;" it's a book I'd planned to start soon. I'm looking forward to it.
What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A salesman.
Universal Jurisdiction is a travesty because it's being turned into a threat, or a weapon, to be used against people based solely on political views, not based on recognized points of law. If otherwise reasonable countries allow it to go unchecked, then basically anyone in conflict with their political views could be hauled up on that stand theoretically. Which isn't in the best interests of any free society.
Try sorting the list by Last Activity and then opening up the thread, that works for me 95% of the time since they shifted over to the new system.
That worked. Thanks!
I believe that the bikers want to give them all a savage "beatdown", while the…immigrant…groups (rhymes with the fabric called muslin) want to stone them all to death or behead them.
Who'd of ever thunk that the bikers' "justice" would be the kinder and gentler of the two…?
That's the book! Interesting read.
Please let us know what you think after you read it.
I read it years ago and found it to have a very interesting take on the French military of the time — especially compared to the official French position, which seems to be to ignore everything in France until they magically liberated themselves.
By the way, if you're having problems (I still am as well), send them feedback on this.
I fear it's already too late for Spain.
But, come on! Stop trying to emulate them!
Except for soccer…I'd love to emulate Spain when it comes to that…
"Magically liberated themselves" pretty much sums it up. I have a lot of respect for all of the Resistance fighters throughout Europe in WWII, but the French have built a whole mythology around theirs, which for the most part is far from the truth of the matter. As most myths are, but the proportions that they blew out of it is truly epic.
Incidentally the first person to shoot at my great-uncle in WWII was a (Vichy) Frenchman around Oran when he landed with the 1st Rangers during Operation Torch. So I can vouch that some of those French rifles were fired at least once, before being dropped.
I'm starting to get a mental picture of Mohammed on a Harley. It's too much.
Spain has become another nation of eunuchs and geldings. After Al Qaeda bombed the train in Madrid the Spaniards soiled themselves and cowered in fetal position. The muslims will be able to finish what they started centuries ago. The crescent and scimitar will rule over Spain once again; there will be no resistance.
Did anyone hear our dimwitted secretary of state, Hillbilly, laughing over the Somali pirates? And recently we had the affirmative action president laughing over the economy and hundreds of thousands of job losses. We have incompetent clowns laughing and bowing to islamic despots while the islamists are hijacking our ships and enemies abroad are plotting ways to sabotage the US.
This is the most despicable, rabidly anti-liberty, anti-American govt in the history of this nation. America is well overdue for a Revolution.
Woah woah woaaah! Hold it right there Lawhawk, remember pictures of Mohammad are verboten, even if mental. So cut it right out, before someone cuts it right off.
Whew that was a close one…
Why did the French line the Champs Elysées with trees?
So the Germans could march in the shade.
They need to use some of our bikers, speed things up a tad. Reduce the number of eh…hmm… “immigrants,” and the world would be a better place, win-win!
They lost the flower of French chivalry at Agincourt. The flower of French manhood in WW I. That left very few flowers to continue to fight—so the flowers simply withered. Au revoir, mes enfants.
Though Spain, no question has a momentary lead, the sheer mass of French cowardice in my mind keeps France #1. French jokes are still, cool!
I'm tellin ya' this new method for automatically collapsing the continuing reply threads really sucks pond water. I can't reply to 2 replies from Andrew P and the Lawhawk. Anyway, 'Hawk regarding no flowers left, remeber that folk song "where have all the flowers gone? long time passing"
Let's boycott Spain! – Freedom Rice! Freedom Fly! (Umm… What else is there?)
I was going to say I was safe because it was a mental picture. Then I remembered the thought police. I'm so screwed.
I was going to say I was safe because it was a mental picture. Then I remembered the thought police. I'm so screwed.
The do have the historical edge that's for sure.
Huh, the way I learned it it was: Where have all my bullets gone? Get me more ammo…
Great, they taught me the wrong lyrics…
Doh! There you go again, being so screwed is verboten too!
I'm just trying to look out for you man, but you're not making it easy.
===but the French have built a whole mythology around theirs, which for the most part is far from the truth of the matter.===
Indeed.
During WWII the Jews in the Warsaw ghetto who were short on food, weapons/ammunition and fighters held off the nazi machine for twice as long as the well fed, well armed French military.
But, there’s still time for our aspiring Conquistadors of Yellow.
Interesting question there Mr. Lee. I bet our guy could get to his knees quicker than any world leader.
Spain caved to terrorists in their last election, when that happened they lost what little respect I did have for them. Cowards just like France.
I know. I think you're going to have to get someone to take my computer away. I'm out of control, and I need help.
Yes, but the young girls are still around, and with no soldiers and no flowers, that leaves . . . us.
Fighting muslims tooth and nail!
I think the credit crunch will be the end of islam…cheers!
SHEESH! Your lack of PCness is one of your more redeeming features I'm sure. I'm still getting used to the idea of you being in Frisco. And be careful asking for help there.
SUA SPONTE
While granted that the French have removed the will to fight, they had no problems supplying weapons to every dictator in the world since. I have photos somewhere I took on the streets of Baghdad of a brand new French artillary piece still smeared in packing grease.
Wouldn't it be more culturally accurate to have a mental picture of him in one of those ginormous tricked-out RV's with sufficient room for his 72 virgins…?
I'm just sayin'…
Dear CapnAhab
How about "as spineless as a Spainard"?
Has a nice alliterative quality don't you think?
Robert_E
Please read my past blog here on BH about Obamamaina over taking Europhoria as the favorite Liberal high!
Dear Leadfngers
In doing some background reading for this piece I read several articles about PM Zapatero and his party. I may have used the word "unity" as a synomym but I believe that was a quote. Wouldn't bet my house on it but pretty sure. Of course the quote would have been translated from Spanish so it may have been a nuaunce of language too.
Bubba
Could you site an example of an American jurist charging a foreign government official with a crime not committed in America.
The last time I was in Copenhagen drugs were being traded openly on the streets and smoked in cafes at some hippie enclave that a friend of mine took me to and bragged about how "open" a society Denmark had become. Heroin was used in the public park across from the Sheraton so much there were needle disposal boxes at several places around the walking path. There were also needle exchanges which I thought were operated by the Government. So while there may not have been a true legalization there was tacit approval. As to the current problems it seems you have done well to attract the scum of Europe, so who needs to look at the facts?
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