Miley Cyrus, My Hero!
by Jeffrey JenaThese are some words I never thought I’d say, but I hope Miley Cyrus loses the four billion dollar lawsuit that has been filed against her. In case you’re not up on this story Ms. Cyrus, who is a 16 year old, which I believe makes her prone to do silly and at times even stupid things, was photographed making silly faces with a group of friends at the mall or some such place were young multimillionaires hang out.
In the photo Ms. Cyrus and several of her friends are sitting with another boy who appears to be of Asian heritage. The kids seem to be trying to look like their Asian friend. I am assuming he is a friend and not just some random guy they crowded around for the picture.
When this picture made the rounds it was seen one Ms. Lucie J. Kim and her life began to spin out of control. The emotional distress was unbearable! She lost all of her self-esteem and any pride she had previously held in her racial heritage. So apparently did every person in the United States of “Asian-Pacific Islander” heritage, even those who … didn’t see the photo? I Googled Ms. Kim to find out something about her and she is, if I may quote that great second lever philosopher Gomer Pyle, surprise, surprise, surprise, a lawyer!
If you read me regularly you know that I am a BFH (big freaking hillbilly) who lives out in flyover country. I don’t want to seem racist or uncouth but since I have been challenged by Attorney General Holder to have more courage in racial relations I need some answers. I have to admit that am not really up on my Asian subcultures but there must be some way Ms. Kim can tell from the photo that the boy in the picture is an “Asian-Pacific Islander,” and not say, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, or any of the other Asian nationalities. I am taking the term Asian-Pacific Islander to mean someone of any Asian descent that grew up on an island in the Pacific Ocean. However, it has occurred to me that “Asian-Pacific Islander” might be a broad umbrella minority group which includes all Asian nationalities and all Pacific Islanders. If so, what about Junior Seau and Troy Polamalu? Do they get a cut of the settlement? What about Russians who were born in the Asian part of Russia, have they suffered?
She claims a lot of things here, so let’s look at her lawsuit objectively. First, she says that she represents one million “Asian-Pacific Islanders” who live in Los Angeles County. Where does she draw that authority from and why does that authority stop at the county line? What about the many Asian Pacific Islanders who live in Orange County? Aren’t their feelings also hurt? Who will speak for them? What about Asians who live in Asia? They may have seen the picture on the Internet and may have been traumatized too, or are they a tougher breed than those Asians who live here?
How did she arrive at the figure $4000 for every claimed member of the class action? Is that the amount she spent on therapy? How can she prove her mental problems are due to seeing Ms. Cyrus and not just long repressed responses from watching Peter Lorre play Mr. Moto or Roland Winters and Sidney Toler play Charlie Chan? How did she arrive at the number “one million?” Do you have to be one hundred percent “Asian-Pacific Islander” to be represented?
I need answers because if Ms. Kim prevails I will be filing a bunch of lawsuits against Dave Chappelle, Eddie Griffin, Jeff Foxworthy, the writers and producers of the “Beverly Hillbillies,” “The Dukes of Hazard” and a number of other deep pockets in Hollywood who have a long history of belittling my people.
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85 Comments
I hope that whatever judge this lands in front of slaps this women with enough frivolous lawsuit penalties to leave her wide-eyed. (hmmm… almost said something un-pc there. must be more careful.)
It's not so much the woman who filed the lawsuit as the lawyers who went along with it. Lawyers get all kinds of crackpots coming into their offices wanting to sue someone. They usually take such cases on a contingency fee basis (i.e., the lawyers don't get paid unless they win). Even so, they probably take such cases more for the publicity (and later cases) than any actual expectation of winning. Unfortunately, that still means Cyrus has to pay to defend the suit and it clogs up the already overcrowded court system. The judge should certainly make the woman and her attorneys pay Cyrus's legal fees. They should also get hit with a big stupidity fine.
Well, doggies, Jeffrey! If'n you get part of that settlement for the defamation of "our people" don't fergit to dance with the ones that brung you! I could use a new concrete swimmin' pond myself!
Is it me, or is the Asian kid opening is eyes up really wide?
When I was a teen, I hung out in a group made up of both black and white kids. We razzed eachother all the time when it came to race because we really didn't think it was a big deal. Being white or black was a part of who we were just like any other physical characteristic or personality quirk and it was all fair game. We loved eachother, and we knew it so the teasing was all in fun.
I'm guessing that the Asian kid is sitting there with them because he is a friend — and he is making white eyes while his friends are making Asian eyes and they are all being silly, stupid together.
Pacific Islander means Filipino, I think. And in any case, Japanese folks look nothing like Chinese folks, look nothing like Korean folks. Live around various asians for a while and you'll begin to tell the difference quite easily.
The fact that Orientals (oops) do better than Caucasians in college has negatively impacted my self-esteem as a member of the Master Race, and if I had ever wanted to go to college in the land of fruits and nuts, they might have taken a slot from me, and college costs….oh, lets be simple and make it a round hundred thousand bucks.
So, Miss Kim, when am I going to receive my check?
*sigh* As a person of German descent, I tell people I'm a hillbilly just for the upgrade in cache.
Amazing to me is the difference in reactions society has had to this picture and the picture of Michael Phelps hitting a bong. Outrage at a group of young people doing something so innocence, and acceptance to a slightly less younger person doing something detrimental to himself and illegal.
Our society is so upside-down.
So if Cyrus loses, does that mean I can sue Taco Bell for the chihuahua "Yo quiero taco bell" commercials? Can I sue Ben Stiller for impersonating a latino news anchor in "Anchorman"? Can I sue Warner Bros. for the Speedy Gonzalez cartoons? Ms. Kim is a thin skinned POS.
Apparently the 1st Amendment doesn't apply to making a stupid face in a photograph.
All I can say is boy, am I ever glad the Interwebs weren't around back in the day. I'm pretty sure all I have to worry about is a 35 year old cassette tape of a, um, lively party (or two, or…) popping up. No cell phone cameras to document our behind the bandroom activities either. Whew! At least the statute of limitations would have run out by now anyhow, though.
So, let me get this straight. A teenager did something stupid. Wow! That almost never happens! Can we move on now?
LOL!
Great column Jeff, you point out how silly the whole victim industry really is.
Go lawyers! I want in on that offended cracker lawsuit. I am plainly a walking trauma victim. Only money, a whole lot it, can ease my pain.
Usually Pacifc Islander means any islander from US territory in the Pacific (Hawaiians, Guam, that guy from Wake Island, the Aleutians, Bikini Atoll (wait, scratch that one), etc.).
This lawsuit is an obvious example of why we should adopt a loser-pays-all tort system like the UK and Canada among others.
I hope this goes the way of the DC Judge who sued the dry cleaners over his pants. Whatever happened to "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names (or in this case faces) will never hurt me?" I suppose if this wins I can go sue every teenager who ever made faces at me. I wonder how long the statue of limitations will be? Could someone sue all of those kids who "teased me in high school?" If that was the case then I suppose instead of lying about being multi-millionaires at your High School reunion everyone would state they were hobos with no money…
I'll be happy with a judge having discretion and an enforceable way to make losers pay for lawsuits that a jury decides is frivolous.
Hey, I currently live in Tennessee. Can I get in on this?
People who sue everyone at the drop of the hat fill me with rage, which probably requires me to get a therapist. Ergo, I should be able to sue this piece of crap suing Cyrus REGARDLESS of whether Cyrus wins or loses that case.
See, Mr. Jena, you have to think outside the box! Now I win either way
On a more serious note, this is example number 34821 as to why hate crimes are stupid. Legislate action, not thought. Even if Cyrus is a racist (which I doubt), it's her right to be a complete idiot if she wants to be. And it's my right to say she's a complete idiot if I want to. That's called freedom, instead of Thought Crime.
Man, if only someone would write a book about Thought Crime and a caring Big Brother that cut words from the language to avoid Thought Crime and made everyone speak in a correct manner, we'd see the utopia that would result (it would be double plus good, IMO). If only…
Lucie J. Kim needs to get a life.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
A friend of mine is a motivational speaker who addresses across the US. In the course of these presentations, he asks for feedback from the attendees which he then will then write their comment/answer on a flip chart.
Two days after a presentation, he called the client to ascertain if she had received any comments on his presentation. She said that a woman called her and said that she was offended by the whole presentation. Her complaint:: She was a Filipino and his many references to the "flip chart" was offensive because "flip" is a derogatory term for Filipinos.
"And so it goes."- Lloyd Dobbins
Is that Myley Cyrus in the accompanying pic? Who's that dude that looks like a 25-year-old stoner whose lap she's sitting on?
Billy Ray needs to do some good old fashioned butt-whippin'.
Nagheenanajar(sp?) actually has the story right. The white children were slanting their eyes, their friend of whatever descent he is, was widening his eyes. But here's the part Jeff didn't mention. THE ONLY PERSON BEING SUED IN THE PIC IS CYRUS. Hmmm. Now why would that be, when ALL the white children should be causing her stress? Oh, I See. $$$$$$$$How ridiculous can you get? I remember in the 70's, my sis and her bf did a skit for high school. My sister's friend wanting them to do a "reverse" face thing, so she did my sister in blackface, my sister did her makeup in white face. The skit went over wonderfully, they are still best friends 30 yrs later and people are like Ms. Kim are stupid.
Don't forget Bill Dana, if he's still around. And if he has any money.
Peter, such a book already exists, it's called The Audacity of Hope.
Defcon: One of my local Talk stations featured excerpts from that DC Judge guy's testimony; to hear the guys reading the comments as he talked about his pants with the description of his voice cracking & tears running down his face, made me wonder whether that guy was playing with a full deck or not…makes me wonder how THAT guy got to be a judge to begin with!
As a "round eye" I'm offended by the Asian kid's assault on my …round eyed…….ness…
Has anyone here noticed the way Asians depict westerners in anime?
Big eyes, big ears……anyone up for a class action lawsuit?
As an attorney in Los Angeles who was told by one firm that they wouldn't hire me because they were an Asian firm and I was white, I'd like to find this "lady" and smack her. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Maybe a good scolding. This is pathetic, and represents all that is wrong with the legal profession (besides the Trial Lawyers Association being the biggest lobbyist group in America, followed closely by the unions). It doesn't surprise me that this Kim is an attorney. After all, the president of the California Bar is an Asian "lady" who has made several, written statements about "addressing women's and minorities' interests and concerns." Apparently, she doesn't give a rip about white, male lawyers. Wait scratch that: white, male, heterosexual, non-crippled lawyers.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't feel so sure that this will get thrown out. We are not far from the days when people *can* sue for being "offended," however the individual plaintiff may define it. After all, this would be a wonderful tool in "correcting" all non-functioning Americans who will not toe the government line of acceptable thought and views. They'll do it economically and socially. As Goldberg says, it's fascism with a smile and a hug.
the sinner,
Patrick
Jeffrey, this is a "no-brainer" — here is how this will play itself out: (1) Miley's lawyers file for Motion of Dismissal based on the obvious frivolous nature of the suit (freedom from being offended is not a civil right), (2) they mix in 1st Amendment rights and call in the ACLU, who will immediately file a BFF-of-the-court on Miley's behalf, (3) they characterize the suit as an act of intimidation by a lawyer obsessed with litigation psychosis, and voila … grounds for a countersuit! If that doesn't work, Mily should call the White House and schedule a singing gig there … during one of the songs, she can break down in tears and tell Obama how terrible it is to be bullied by lawyers. The President, having just completed the Rick Warren "Compassionate Conservatism" seminar, issues a full pardon for Ms Cyrus, sends Lucie J. Kim as ambassador to the newly refurbished Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, declares Miley's birthday National Chinese Buffet Day and asks Billy Ray Cyrus to introduce the new National Anthem . . . "My Hopey Changey Heart."
I guess now I'm going to be sued … by EVERYBODY.
What a piece of trash this women is. I find people like her are the kind we should ship out of this country. Iran would be a nice place for her.
[...] Miley Cyrus, My Hero! [...]
The "Sue-er" or the "Sue-ee"?
So, if I follow the logic made by Ms. Kim, I a black women should sue all white people for using self tanner. Where will it end??? When did the America I love become so full of wussy's?
Was it about the dirty slopes? I bet it was about the dirty slopes.
If that guy's still a judge, maybe he could take the case? At least he'd approach it with empathy, drawing on his own pain and suffering. It's a reality show waiting to happen.
With a mix of lost trousers and slit eyes, I'd suggest a working title like, 'The Judge Crutch Slant.'
There can be no utopia so long as a single lawyer is left alive.
And don't forget Mr Holders called all of us "cowards". I feel offended.
Could someone call the ACLU on my behalf?
I'd do it myself but I'm too much of a wuss.
Wow. Could you be more specific? Are you referring to the female lawyer, or to Miley Cyrus?
'Cause, I could kind of see your point either way…
Apparently, being a kid is no longer an excuse for doing anything stupid. If you haven't been indoctrinated into political correctness by the time you're the age of the kids in this picture, then clearly you or your parents have failed to toe the line somewhere and must be punished.
Wow! That almost never happens! Can we move on now?
Judging by the size of the lawsuit and the demanded damages, we're not going to be moving on for a long time. I guess that it's not okay to be a teenager anymore.
Could be Ms. Kim is using a variation of Rahm’s directive…not to waste a (mini) crisis.
The penalty for such nitwitted lawsuit tomfoolery should be a one year suspension of law license for the first offense, and permanent lifetime disbarment for the second.
Then that sue-happy jackass would have to get a life, and a productive job.
To be honest, who cares what these whackjobs from Hollywood-Manhattan elite tribes do with their spare time. I'm Asian and could care less. I'm not offended. All I can lend to this issue is if you feel offended, then stop looking at the photo and spread the word of the deed so the brainless masses of zombies will stop watching her show and listening to her awful songs. The only way to defeat these losers is through their paychecks and royalties.
Hmmm… If Ms. Cyrus didn't have money, would she be sued? Of course not. How can any establishment not see that Lucie Kim's primary motivation is greed–selfish, selfish greed. She could care less if Asians are being made fun of. She is seizing opportunity, pure and simple.
Yes, but aren't Funyuns and Ben&Jerry's trying to get him in a Sponsor deal to compensate?
You really don't understand much about how our legal system works, do you? Lwsuits don't only happen when judges agree to hear them.
Nick: It is DC the most over-lawyered part of America. But my honest guess is it was through Affirmative Action, just based on the case he presented over his pants.
This entire thing is moronic- Cyrus is little more than a child! If everyone who did something mildly offensive at 16 got sued we'd all be broke. As for the woman doing this, can you imagine what she might have been saying about blacks or Latinos when she was Cyrus' age? I notice also that the Asian boy doesn't exactly look offended so if he isn't suing who the hell is this fool to be doing so?
I must second the "LOL" on that post.
It still costs public resources/taxpayer money to get to the point where a judge can throw it out. The Cyrus' have to pay an attorney to prepare and file a response. The judge has to spend the time to read the stupid complaint and response before making a ruling, which will likely include reading any relevant case law as well. So yes, she deserves to be bitched out for her stupidity.
Michael Claymore, you are sort of right. Cyrus isn't little more than a child. She is a child. And if you read my post upthread, her friend was purposefully widening his eyes. But you are right, I doubt this woman has gone through life pure as the driven snow. I really don't get all the Miley Cyrus bashing. What in the bloody HE double hockey sticks has this CHILD done to anyone? She can wear a sheet, snap pics of herself and friends acting stupid, big whoop. She is a kid, acting like a kid.Like I also said, how could this possibly be about anything other than money, when the only person being sued in the photo, is MILEY. It doesn't even pretend to be objective.
I've lived in Japan for almost 4 years. I cannot look at someone on the street and say if they're from Japan, China or Korea.
I'll tell you, as an attorney, nothing makes a plaintiff rethink the value of their case quicker than finding out they might have to pay fees or costs if they lose. And that said, I've never seen a person with a truly good case get discouraged by such a rule.
Really? I went to elementary, middle, and high school with a large group of Asian kids and I can easily spot the differences.
But isn't this the kind of walk on eggs PC that the Hollywood left is advocating? At least for the rest of us they are. It would be nice to see a few other celebrities have to face the liberal judges that they adore and find themselves getting a good bite in the butt. And, find their paychecks shrinking. too All this happening while they are busy saving some wolves in Alaska.
I want in on this, and I am appalled that no one has (one again) noticed the plight of the American Indian. Is it not evident that the guy in the "salmon" shirt is blatantly making fun of American Indians. Are there any lawyers out there to help! Does NO ONE even care? How (no pun intended) is this worth? We were slighted even in the slight.
Everyone just seems to be teaching their children to be victims. Great job!
She lost self-esteem? Damn right, she should sue Margaret Cho's ass off!
Good point. Kellog's was one of the few that got it right.
Exactly Old Tom: I could not be sure if Andrea was referring to Miley, the Gal who sued or the Lawyer who stooped to take the case…
Jeff,
You forgot "My Name Is Earl" and THIS delightful representation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8
BFF-of-the-court. HA!! That's hilarious. Aeternum amicus optimus curiae.
The sad part is, I can see your prediction coming true except for one thing: The ACLU will help the minority in this case and her (Lucie Kim's) guaranteed Civil Liberty "not to be offended"
Don't be so sure there isn't a court that would find *some* excuse to "find" a new right to not be offended (as long as the court feels the offensive act is based on perceived bigotry or racism, or something). The SCOTUS has been doing it for about half a century.
the sinner,
Patrick
Miko, one of the reasons I'm now a conservative is because when I was a student in junior college in Pasadena I volunteered for the Dukakis campaign. One day the Democrats in the office told me they were going to go protest a Republican candidate. When we got to the Republican's event, I saw the candidate, a frail man from Cambodia, tell us about how he escaped with his life and no money to his name and built a business in Alhambra. He talked about how he loved this country so much. Some of my Democrat co-workers heckled the guy. I realized that this guy was everything liberals (or any humans for that matter) should hold dear. It opened my eyes that if liberals could heckle this guy then their claim of being for the poor or immigrants might just be a crock. I later found, at least on the party level, that to be true.
I was acquainted years ago with a gentleman from Cambodia. He was a housekeeper where I worked. After we got to know each other, I'd run across him bussing tables at a restaurant. Then I'd see him working as a skycap at the airport. Then I'd see him bussing tables at another restaurant. Then he'd be driving a cab. Then working as a message courier. All the while, keeping his main job as a housekeeper and soaking up as much overtime on that job as possible.
One day I quipped to him that he must be working 7/24 every week. He laughed at the joke (he was always smiling and laughing), then he became very serious. He told me about escaping Cambodia during Pol Pot. He told me about losing many of his family and every material thing that he owned. He told me how he loved this country and how it afforded him, a man who had lost everything, a way to support his wife, children and grandchildren. Then he laughed again. He concluded the conversation by saying that as long as my wife and I kept coming to the restaurant and eating prime rib, he'd always have a job to go to. And his children and grandchildren would have food.
He shamed me into reevaluating a few things in my life that night. I'd like to think that I've made a few changes for the better. I think that he'd have a thing or two to say to Ms. Kim about priorities.
They guy in the salmon t-shirt is NOT mimicking an Indian. He's using his fingernails to simulate Japanese buck teeth. The rabbit ears behind his friend is secondary.
Underling, Another transforming event that I witnessed in 1984.
I used to happy hour with a VW mechanic whose family had escaped East Germany when he was a child (Right before the barbed wire was strung as they began constructing the Berlin Wall). His VW Rabbit was plastered in Reagan / Bush stickers in 1984.
One October evening happy hour, some few union members and college students started giving him a hard time at the pub for supporting Ronald Reagan. One student was dumb enough to tell him that he "didn't know what freedom was." The mechanic gave a 30 minute lecture on what his family had endured and escaped from.
At the end all of the folks giving him a hard way were staring in their beers, embarrassed and mumbling. His distilled argument that "They didn't know what it was like to NOT have freedom…MondaIe will piss away all of our hard work and freedom…he witnessed how concessions lead to evil men taking countries…Mondale will give us 100 Irans to contend with!"
I think that man guaranteed President Reagan 50 votes after his lecture.
Its not a "concrete" pond, it is a cement (pronounced "see-ment") pond.
The tears are rolling down my face. That is too funny. And I have some German blood too. Among the numerous others but still….
"it is a cement (pronounced "see-ment") pond. "
Another concrete example of being too far away from my roots!
Another concrete example of being too far away from my roots!
Hunter D.–Now I feel stupid…all four of my grandparents emigrated from Japan to the U.S., so I'm 100% ethnically Japanese, and I've actually been living in Tokyo for the past 18 months, and I still can't differentiate some Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans…never mind doing it "easily". Some people (like you!) can tell, I guess, but I really can't!
I'm not saying you're wrong, intolerant or stupid…It's that I can, and many people I know can. Japanese folks don't look like Chinese folks to me. And Filipino's definitely don't look anything like either group. Koreans look a bit like Chinese, but are definitely distinct from Japanese.
Odd.
I guess this will ruin my dream of hearing Radiohead do a cover of Achy Breaky Heart.
Ah, nothing sounds like springtime than the sound of \”Miley McLeod\”…
miley is awesome
Hi miley..i love your song,start all over..what was your age when that video clip recorded?
I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU Miley.
miley i like u a lot u r the bestttttttttttttttttttt your mom also rocks
miley you rock and all of you guys are just jealous because she is famous and you are not so shut the hell up!!!
Oh Miley….My heart bleeds for your achey breaky heart!!!
LOV3 YOU MIL3Y!!!
hey miley can I be your hero i like your show
hey miley you ar the best star cant i be your hero you no i dont live in california
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