Answering Steven Crowder’s Challenge
by Julia GorinI agree with Crowder: When the headlines are more over-the-top than any joke one can form from them, it certainly makes comedy challenging. “Try making the idea of released detainees going back to terrorism funny”?
Hey, according to the Pentagon, only 11 percent of them do that! (Though I hear that estimate has a margin of error of about 89%.)
One released detainee detonated himself in Iraq a couple months ago. And our liberals are worried about us dripping water on their faces. The guy just blew himself up! Clearly, our interrogation techniques are not extreme enough. They prefer to lose a limb or two before giving us information. No wonder Gitmo and Abu Ghraib were torture for these sado-masochists.
U.S. troops undressed a prisoner and put underwear on his head? So what — that’s where his ass is gonna end up after he explodes himself, anyway.
Seriously, though, I think we can reach a compromise with the human rights folks. I say torture should be allowed, as long as your attorney is present.
Shutting down Gitmo isn’t the answer. In fact, such a move should have the environmentalists up in arms. Just think about all the free radicals this will release into the environment.
However, that the Guantanamo camp is the “gulag of our time,” as several Democratic politicians have called it, may be true. We’ve all heard the stories: people not having access to showers for weeks after arrival, then having rocks, urine and feces hurled at them, plus getting spat in the face and even ear-bitten — all while being powerless to do anything in response. And I’m talking about the U.S. soldiers stationed there. The prisoners? They get cake and Koran. (They don’t even have cake in the Middle East!)
And still Obama’s priority is to end military trials, including that of a U.S.S. Cole bomber. Which means that all this time they were saying “Vote or Die,” what they meant was “Vote to Die.”
At least Saudi Arabia has been helping us out. The Saudis have taken some of the released detainees into their rehabilitation program. Which is like sending a sex offender for rehabilitation to NAMBLA.
Finally, Crowder correctly points out that several prisoners have actually gained weight at the facility. Tarek el-Sawah was one of them:
A portion of Guantánamo detainee medical charts released by the Pentagon indicate Sawah arrived at this Navy base in May 2002 measuring five-feet-eight-inches and weighing 215 pounds and that his weight has careened wildly. In August 2006, according to the Defense Department, his weight dipped as low as 124 pounds, and then hit a recorded high of 408 pounds three months later.
I’m telling you — it’s the cake!
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
83 Comments
"Shutting down Gitmo isn’t the answer. In fact, such a move should have the environmentalists up in arms. Just think about all the free radicals this will release into the environment."
clever!
"I say torture should be allowed, as long as your attorney is present." Hell give em a room full of lawyers- now THAT sounds like torture.
Now that the democrats want to do away with the term "war on terror" (since we don't fear terrorists anymore?), why is it that Nancy Pelosi needs her own private Air Force airline. Bush okayed her use of the AF planes only for safety reasons. Since she no longer thinks there is any threat, then she can fly coach on Delta.
Also, detainees DO, IN FACT, eat better than most americans. Aren't you glad that you fund that?
I second that. Pelosi should fly like us regular people. Let her luggage get lost, let her elbows get broken by the drink cart, let her get spit up on by the adjacent passenger's infant.
Ah, but your forgetting the war on global warming, and poverty, and squirrels that Pelosi is on the front lines of. More than justifies her tying up military resources IMO.
Ah, but you're forgetting the wars on global warming, and poverty, and squirrels that Pelosi is on the front lines of. More than justifies her tying up military resources IMO.
And our liberals are worried about us dripping water on their faces.
Just liberals, got it.
"And still Obama’s priority is to end military trials, including that of a U.S.S. Cole bomber. Which means that all this time they were saying “Vote or Die,” what they meant was “Vote to Die.."
Comedy Gold. Can't wait for Juia Gorin RAW. Coming to an Olive Garden near you!
"U.S. troops undressed a prisoner and put underwear on his head? So what — that’s where his ass is gonna end up after he explodes himself, anyway."
HAHAHA. Great read and what a shame all at the same time, terrorists are living it up and liberals complain of torture. :shakes head:
Ask bleeding heart libs this question, Would you have approved of waterboarding Moussaui (20th highjacker) to prevent 9/11? Myself, I'd go Jack Bauer on his ass.
Waterboarding or another 911. Choose wisely!
I do not understand the logic of building new prisons in Pennsylvania and West Virginia(as both Rep. Murtha[D/PA] and Sen. Rockefeller [D/WV] agreed they would be happy to do) rather than just keep these terrorists at Camp X-Ray where they are already snug as a bug in a rug? It makes no sense to me.
Very good point about Pelosi's private jet use, Sheila. I am going to write my Congressman and point that out.
While they're at it, they can torture the lawyers too.
How about a president who pays attention instead?
Such is the fatal "poison pill" of multi-culturalism.
holy smokes…what if we put the terrorists up at gitmo with an all you can eat buffet ala cruise ship-style? you know, give them free reign at the grub all the time. make sure the food is the crap we love to eat, ie cheetos, little debbies, coke (because i am from the south, this means all sodas), fried candy bars, funnel cakes, full fat ice cream, double meat cheese burgers…all the delicious junk we love. the rooms where they eat should have couches instead of tables and a full cable package on the big screen tvs. offer elastic pants and xxxl shirts to all. this would serve to fatten up those mofos while deadening their resolve to do anything productive ever again. lay down your vest bombs! pick up a ho-ho!
I hear the weather is nice at club gitmo….maybe they can turn it into a vacation site for nancy pelosi and her friends only….on our dime of course
Yeah!! Oh, wait, I'm a lawyer. Booo boooo!
Two points. First, these guys should be thanking their lucky crescents that they weren't captured by a group of hillbillies. They would have been praying to get into Gitmo then.
Secondly, this is the same thing like people who talk about our prisons like they're houses of horror. Answer me this, would you rather do your time in Mexico, China or the US of A?
You are right on. The 9/11 Commission's findings indicated intelligence agencies knew a terrorist attack was being planned but that they didn't comprehend the evil needed to pull off such an act. Are we waiting until the next attack to be convinced that such evil exists in this world?
+1 for the coke comment.
I'd also add that they get fed barbecue sandwiches and hush puppies, but don't tell them what the barbecue is made of until after they beg for more.
Let's ask Palin if we can build a prison up in her neck of the woods. I'm all for using our own little Siberia for certain classes of detainees.
why thanky sir…now pass the coke and bbq!
Good idea! We could call it the Rura Penthe Correctional Facility. . . in honor of our recent Star Trek thread.
Why? Do you want your Congressman to have one too?
Can't take credit for this post. It was on another line of thoughts and I though it was pretty good.
General "Black Jack" Pershing and the Muslim Terrorists in the Philippines before WW I
Just before World War I, there were a number of terrorist attacks on the United States forces in the Philippines by Muslim extremists. So General Pershing captured 50 terrorists, and had them tied to posts for execution. He then had his men bring in two pigs and slaughter them in front of the, now horrified, terrorists.
Muslims detest pork, because they believe pigs are filthy animals. Some of them simply refuse to eat it, while others won't even touch pigs at all, nor any of their by-products. To them, eating or touching a pig, its meat, its blood, etc., is to be instantly barred from Paradise (and those virgins), and doomed to hell.
The soldiers then soaked their bullets in the pigs' blood, and proceeded to execute 49 of the terrorists by firing squad. The soldiers then dug a big hole, dumped in the terrorist's bodies, and covered them in pig blood, entrails, etc. They let the 50th man go.
And for the next 42 years, there was not a single Muslim extremist attack anywhere in the world
Lets just drop thousands of pigs on them, besides being effective it should look pretty dang funny as well !!!!!!!
Man my typing sucks !!!!!
Hey….I resemble that remark, being a Mormon and a Hillbilly too I can testify that the brethren in the hills of Arkansas where I live would gladly send them to their virginal reward in several (How should I say this) ways (Speaking Caliber of Course) I pity the country that ever invades America and comes through the South, All us Bitter, Christians clinging to our God and Religion couldn't wait to kill a few ragheads…… (Sorry about the insult)
=====U.S. troops undressed a prisoner and put underwear on his head? So what — that’s where his ass is gonna end up after he explodes himself, anyway.====
Fantastic.
Hey, I'm a Christian clinging to my God and Guns, and I wasn't insulted!
Andrew, the only good lawyer is my lawyer. But you seem like a good guy, no waterboarding and flogging for you.
LOL!
What is it they say? "Judge a man by the quality of his friends and the caliber he pours into his enemy!"
Now now, self-loathing happens in many fields. So I hear.
Aw, c'mon, Andrew. We can't be tortured because we know the secret incantantions—-"res ipsa loquitur, volenti non fit injuria, your mother wears army boots."
well, if you pay attention to the fictionalized POS that Michael Bay produced about Pearl Harbor, it was the top guys in the military that paid no attention to the looming threat…then the liberals Ben Affleck and Alec Baldwin came in to save the day.
The Pelosi Air Force story reminds me of a funny story.In 2004 my family went on a trip to Universal Studios in Orlando for spring break. This was just after John Edwards lost the Democrat nomination. On our way back home, he and his family were on the same flight, in first class though. His wife, children and a nanny or two were present. As my family boarded the plane we had to pass through first class. As we passed the Edwards family, my father looked at him and said "We are walking back to the other America." Poor 'ol Johnny looked like a deer in the headlights.
Nope. Can't do it. Ask the Democrats. You'll scare the caribou. Maybe ANWR though. The mosquitoes would eat them alive. Nope. Can't do that either. It would be torture.
"Sut Up! I Keel You!" Catch Jeff Dunham with 'Achmed, The Dead Terrorist' for more terrorist-inspired humor (if you haven't already.
I think someone within the Magic Zero circle was smart enough (barely) to get him to use language that gave him an out when he made the big proclamation (sp?). I personally doubt that it will be closed this year.
Could we redact them to Saskatchewan? As I understand it, the libs prefer redaction to using American facilities….
Sorry all, I must have missed the part where Roosevelt got a PDB that read "Hirohito Determined to Strike".
I'm offended at the use of the word "Hillbilly." We prefer the term "Appalachian-American."
They´ll be disappointed when they get Iman instead of an Imam.
Aaaaw you mentioned me. I feel so warm inside.
What a GREAT story!!!!! Would have paid to see his face.
Why shouldn't ol' Charley Rangel have one too. Fair's fair, right? Otherwise he would have to pay his taxes to write off any commercial airflights. He should have to be so inconvenienced.
All joking aside…
The Islamofacist is so far outside the Western experience that we are hard-pressed to deal with them. Someone who has been raised in their religion from day one, and is required to acknowledge it several times a day, that is taught that almost anything can be an "attack' on their teachings, and almost everything they get exposed to daily is classed as such, is difficult to even think about, much less understand. Their religion permits their opposing those attacks by any means. They can now die for it, (nothing new there), kill for it, (also not new), but there's a new twist. Killing AND dying at the same time is a way to be "more equal" than the other equals in Paradise. The slavery aspect of the souls destroyed in the process, the creation of entities strictly for sexual exploitation and release, coupled with the escape from a world of poverty, manipulation, and no opportunity, and you have fertile ground for some mullah or oman to fashion weapons against what they despise.
Show of hands, please. How many here find arguing with progressive libs, grinding, tedious, arduous work? Wow, that many? Oops, had my hand up too, sorry. Now imagine trying to do that with someone who has been taught that anyone or anything interfering with his religious concept is evil, devious, heretical, or even apostate. Evil is always a main target in a religion; by definition, they are not just someone with a different point of view. What do you do with evil? You kill it.
We cannot begin to defeat this enemy without first recognizing just how far they will go in their war on us. A lib is completely out of his depth with this. Anyone who can subjugate their own and others freedom for an idea, and a poor idea to boot, is not prepared to deal with religious zealotry and fanaticism. They understand fanaticism, but this is too much for them and their limited concepts to solve.
"The Islamofacist is so far outside the Western experience that we are hard-pressed to deal with them."
I think you're right. Because free societies allow for more than one point of view, it's difficult for us not to want to listen to and engage them. But when we do, we accommodate their world view while sacrificing some of our own. This seems to be the case "across the pond" where London is now sometimes referred to as "Londonstan".
As a result of influence peddling, for five to ten years per conviction; yeah, I could see that.
Well, it's been about 25 years since we've even had that as an option. And about 50 before that.
UPDATE: nevermind- FDR kinda let Pearl Harbor happen too, didn't he.
You can't win. No matter what the detainees do when they get out it will still be blamed on us and Gitmo. "They wouldn't be so violent or suicidal if it wasn't for their time in Gitmo". Surprised I don't here this more often.
I think an Aleutian Island prison would be a wonderful choice. Build the buildings, drop the supplies, walk them off the boat, the guards get back aboard, and then cruise away. Put nice facilities on the nearby chain islands for the security forces, just in case.
Rura Penthe indeed! "Welcome to the gulag Rura Penthe. There are no stockades, no guard tower, no electronic frontier. Disobey, and you will be exiled outside, where you will die."
I am REALLY beginning to like this idea…
Excellent! And if they try to swim away, they'll get eaten by those polar bears who haven't had food in weeks since global warming sent them floating off on their little mini-icebergs. Go bears!
Great story! Edwards in a gargantuan hypocritical jerk. Your old man sounds like a hoot.
I would make these terrorist watch Milk, 24/7, 365.
Yeah a clash between our “snake handlers” and the jihadist would be cataclysmic oh excuse me, I mean Appalachian Americans and misunderstood Muslims.
I believe the Aleutian Islands have a nice population of Kodiak bears this could be a Pay-Per-View event and would definitely keep the prison population on gulag Rura Penthe on their toes?
I've never used my PPV button. This would be the one that would get me to do it. Forgot about the Kodiaks. Kinda like grizzlies on steroids, right?
Not to go off point Mj, but how do manage to post your long thoughts? When I try, i am always forced to break them up into smaller posts?
OK you all rock like nothing I have ever seen. BRAVO!
when I lived in Memphis, it was the other way around. I'd ask for a bourbon and soda (club soda) and get Coke in my drink. A local Memphian told me "here, when you ask for soda, you'll get Coke.
That idea reminds me of that episode of WKRP where the station drops hundreds of live Thanksgiving Turkeys on Cincinnati from a helicopter, thinking the birds could fly.
Punchline to my favorite joke: "Shoot the lawyer twice."
When you get to where it starts to print beyond your window, I found I could hit "return" and add a line, as well as expand the window. You can also edit your post and add to it, too.
That’d be the bears real nasty.
It’s a Southern thing!
Thank you Mj!
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A doberman.
I think that was the motto of my law school!
I think we should take them out of Gitmo. For their own safety, we'll send them to a prison in America by a secret northern route, on a ship called "Titanic."
Also, I think I see the reason they are complaining about torture. The picture shows food being kept warm in styrofoam. Styrofoam is a diabolic creation of the twentieth century, and Mohammed never approved of it. Therefore it is unclean, you infidel bastards! Everyone knows that you should pack the food inside a hollowed-out Koran. Hopeless.
My personal opinion is that if you don't abide by the laws of war set up by the Geneva Convention then you should not expect those laws to apply to you.
I've got a law question for you. According to the Geneva Convention isn't there a part that says spies can be shot. Not wearing a uniform or proper ID means one can be summarily executed? I might be mind blending what used to happen during WW II and what the "ah hem" politically correct way to fight a war is now a days.
Not only the evil…but how the evil is disciplined and focused when its loose. None of us think or conceive of us becoming a weapon against some thing. USE one yes, BEING one, no. Most of us think we're dealing in sin when we go there. We think about righting the wrongs, helping others, etc. But how many of us in our normal daily lives think about suicide as a means of attaining eternity? And keep in mind…these people think what they are doing is appropriate and blessed. That is a powerful thing to try to counter, and it is aimed right at us, you, and me, and the lib down the street. Smart bombs with an active human intelligence guiding them are extremely difficult to stop.
To break this you have only a small handful of options…break the war/religion bond, by making the war act lead directly to a blasphemous result, (the Pershing method described by others here); combat, of various and diverse types and goals, over a long enough term to effect change with later generations or pro-Western groups, (remember how long the Crusades lasted and how limited the impact was); or develop actionable intelligence and limited but focused and very violent missions for a limited goal. Read that as assassinations. Not many people like that idea, thinking just how mean the CIA is when they're protecting the USA.
That's an area I don't know much about. But I understanding that the Geneva convention applies only when two countries are at war. Without that, it doesn't apply. When it does apply, it protects enemy combatants and various other classes of people (civilians). However, certain people are not protected, including "unlawful combatants" — spies, mercenaries, and resistance fighters. These people can be tried like normal criminals, though you must give them whatever judicial process you would normally give your citizens. So you can't just shoot them, but you can try them for murder or sabotage in a civilian court and then shoot them.
What's more interesting is what constitutes war crimes. I've got some JAG friends who have been assigned to combat units to train them regarding war crimes. You can't shoot prisoners, guys who have surrendered, or paratroopers still in the air; you can't torture, take hostages, rape, use civilians as shields, misuse a flag of truce, attack UN peace keepers, etc. — all the good stuff.
I prefer accuracy rather than caliber. Unless your using JDAM's. There, you get two-for-one.
Paul_D, you seem to be implying that President Bush was not paying attention to the memo that you linked to. I followed the link and read the memo. Exactly which part do you think Bush didn't pay attention to?
The memo stated what I knew at the time and I didn't have any access to the memo. It basically said that Bin Laden had been trying to attack American soil for four years. Well, duh!
Here's a news flash: Iran would like to attack Israel. Iran would like to attack the US.
If any attacks happen in the future, I guess I can claim that I warned them and they should have been prevented thanks to my prescient warnings posted here on Big Hollywood.
Since my intuition obviously pales in comparison to yours, exactly what was the President supposed to divine from that memo that would help reveal the 9/11 attacks?
You know what, don't even bother answering that. Why waste your time on Internet forums when you could be at the Pentagon right now using your incredible skills to save lives.
Go now Paul_D. Don't stop. Time is of the essence!
That's epic win! +1 to AndrewPrice!
Someone pointed this out to me a little while back that General Pershing had a problem with jihadist in the Philippines. He captured 50 of them, then brought in a couple of pigs and slaughtered them in front of the prisoners. He had his men take their ammo out and drop it into the pigs blood. They reloaded and killed 49 of them. They let one go and never had a problem with them after that.
Perhaps it's time to try a little Koranic torture on them. The US should drop leaflets and videos about this new "higher" power ammunition. As well as 500 pound pork bombs. If they touch this stuff, no virgins for them. They lose their insane religious will to fight.
They just assumed you wanted a bourbon and Coke. Standard drink order in the South. Coke is all soda. Unless you say Club Soda, or Soda Water. Try ordering soda in Atlanta. LOL. All we have is the "Coke" word as a reference, but enough Northerners live here now, that some waitresses and bartenders will ask. In some places, like my home town in Alabama, most people call them Coca-colas. Pepsi is gross, anyway.
Amen, and pass the ammunition!
[...] its toughness in dealing with terrorism in its detention policies. Julia Gorin, Big Hollywood: Answering Steven Crowder’s Challenge Greg Gutfeld, Big Hollywood: Daily Gut: The New Gitmo Is the Old Gitmo Jules Crittenden: Miss [...]
[...] (Gitmo) Prison Jeanne Theoharis, The Nation: Guantánamo at Home Julia Gorin, Big Hollywood: Answering Steven Crowder’s Challenge Hot Air: Oh my: Obama drafts executive order to detain terrorists indefinitely without trial and [...]
[...] thumb their noses in new video and Here’s your jihadi recidivism Julia Gorin, Big Hollywood: Answering Steven Crowder’s Challenge Hot Air: Congress: Not so fast on closing Gitmo Burt Prelutsky, Big Hollywood: Ms. Bonner, Mr. [...]
[...] Man Your Women: One of the Reasons That I Want Gitmo To Stay Open Julia Gorin, Big Hollywood: Answering Steven Crowder’s Challenge Gateway Pundit: Chicago Mayor Blames Fort Hood Massacre On America’s Love of Guns and You [...]
You must be logged in to post a comment.