‘Taken’: Patriarchal Porn
by Jonah GoldbergOkay, let me start by saying I really liked “Taken.”
If you haven’t seen it, it stars Liam Neeson as an ex CIA badass who has retired so he can be near his teenage daughter. She lives with her mom (Neeson’s ex-wife) and her stepfather, a rich, nice guy who you hate just because he makes Neeson look like a shmo – but not for long!
Neeson’s daughter is kidnapped by white slavers in Paris and Neeson is very, very serious about getting her back.
You can learn all that from the trailer or the commercial, so I’ll put the real spoilers below the fold.
Again, I was taken with “Taken,” but you can be sure that some post-modern, critical-whatever-studies types will hate this movie, what with the not-too-subtle “Death Wishy” attacks on non-Americans and the patriarchal revenge fantasy of it all. This is “Thelma and Louise” for fathers.
Okay, for starters, the film starts with Neeson appearing to be a kind of loser. Life has passed him by. He lives in a sad little apartment only a few notches better than a seedy motel room. Maybe he drinks too much. Regrets: he’s clearly had a few. Moreover, we learn fairly quickly that he quit his shadowy CIA work to make up for being an absentee dad and ruining his marriage. His daughter’s stepfather, meanwhile, is super rich. Neeson gets his daughter a Karaoke machine for her 17th birthday. Stepdaddy Warbucks gets her a horse. Neeson looks three feet tall.
She wants to go to Paris for youthful adventure. But Neeson, like all fathers, knows better. We fathers are wise. Father knows best, damn it. It’s a dangerous world out there. Mom mocks him for being a smothering dork. The daughter wishes her dad could be cool like other dads.
Neeson finally relents — but only because the ex-wife and daughter lie to him about her real plans. If they hadn’t failed him by lying, and instead told him the truth or listened to him everything would be ok. But no. The trouble with wives and daughters is they don’t blindly follow Dads’ perfect understanding of how the world works. Neeson lets her go to Paris. And, of course, within hours of landing, his daughter and her slutty blonde friend — who seduced Daddy’s little girl into going in the first place – are snatched by brutal Albanian white slavers.
It’s the mother of “I told you so” moments. But fathers never get to enjoy such moments because we always have to fix the problems that inevitably arise when our women don’t listen.
Indeed, Daddy’s little girl is actually on the phone with him when the kidnapping takes place. Daddy tells her to calm down and if she follows his instructions he will come to the rescue (with a supersized can of whup-ass, the audience immediately understands). The girl, who is absolutely useless save as metaphor for how girls should always listen to their fathers, follows daddy’s instructions while being kidnapped – giving him seemingly meaningless, but in reality, vital clues to her abductors’ identities — and that’s all he’ll need to save the day.
Suddenly the soft, rich stepdad is useless except when he too recognizes Neeson’s mad badass skills. After one quick dressing down about whose you-know-what is bigger, the stepdad does the only thing he’s good at: he opens his wallet. Neeson might as well just say, “Get me a plane, Poindexter.”
Neeson goes to Paris. He quickly works his way through the handsome young man (they can never be trusted!) who tricked the girls at the airport. He kills the small army of swarthy Albanians who took the girls (with some really gratuitous torture, as well). And eventually he slaughters Arabs and even another fancy pants rich American. He more than bitch slaps an old (French!) colleague who had the effrontery not to follow Neeson’s orders, but who is also a careerist sell-out who only managed to keep his family together by compromising his principles (something Neeson would never do!).
In other words, not only is it payback time for anyone who would dare violate his little girl, it’s payback time against anyone who might think they’re better than Neeson. The trampy friend who was abducted with Daddy’s girl? She’s dead from an overdose – serves her right for not staying a virgin! Meanwhile, Daddy’s girl has been sold to high-rent pimps who at least understand the value of staying pure.
Neeson rescues his daughter and kills lots and lots of people in the process, proving that he didn’t waste his life. After all, Stepdaddy Warbucks could never have rescued her.
The film closes with the wife all but declaring with her eyes, “You are a real man, not like my castrated ATM machine of a husband,” and, in the very last scene, Daddy makes it possible for the little girl to fulfill her real dream of becoming a singer (Neeson had saved a Britney Spears type singer’s life earlier in the movie and now, like the mouse who pulled the thorn from the lion’s paw, she returns the favor by bringing real happiness to his daughter).
It is an absolutely brilliant film. If that’s your kind of thing.







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I loved the movie too. It has a feel of "I don't care what your politically correct version of reality is, I am going to do whatever I have to, whatever it takes, to rescue my daughter!" I love that! The Deathwish comparison is good, but this is more intelligent then that. Neeson's character's ability to use the skills he honed over so many years in the espionage game make Bronson's DW character seem like nothing more than a street thug, all be it a tough one.
Liberals will hate Taken and that is enough right there for more to like it. The fact that it is an action movie with intelligence only adds to that.
SPOILER ALERT!
My only complaint was the scene where he is captured. He pulled that pipe away from the ceiling a little too easily for my liking, but he had to escape somehow.
Jonah, you should drop the political punditry and go full bore into a movie critic role! The only thing more you could have added, would have been John Nolte's line from yesterday, "hippies get theirs with a chainsaw". I could care less about having spoilers in a review as long as it includes a list of scumbags that need killing. Not just "stop their life" killing, but really appropriate to the crime killing. A killing that would cause them to spend their last seconds on earth thinking, "Wow. I really made a bad decision on THAT one."
Sorry I digressed. I haven't seen this one, but definitely would from this review.
I hope that every mother would expect nothing less of their baby-daddy when her child's life is on the line. Don't liberal mommies love their children like conservatives do?
I can laugh at your satirical take on the movie (which happens to be pretty accurate) but ultimately it doesn't change my opinion on the movie. I enjoyed it as an action movie and I also felt it was refreshing to see a man who wants to be a responsible parent… and kill bad guys.
Live Free or Die Hard did much the same thing: Ungrateful, fully liberated spoiled daughter who won't even use her father's last name, let alone call him Dad, is kidnapped and rescued by Bruce Willis. In a two-fer, the geeky, asthmatic kid learns manhood and appreciation for real courage. I love these learning-to-appreciate-the-real-self-reliant-take-action-risk-taking-men films. I'm married to one myself and even in his advancing years he's the go-to guy in emergencies. And he can fix cars and boat engines to boot.
For some reason I think I'm the only one that caught the sarcasm.
That aside, here in NC this was the only movie I've seen in a long time where the audience actually clapped at the end. People actually stood up and started clapping – me included. This used to happen a lot more when I was younger but hasn't happened in a long time. Sometimes it's nice to have a movie with clear black and white characterization. The bad guys are bad and die, the good guys win in the end.
In the context of the movie, and as my wife pointed out – she being a liberal and pretty ardent feminist, the wife in the movie was a complete idiot. Her ex-husband had a career in espionage. Regardless of whether you think he's a PoS or not your best best is to listen when he talks within his realm of expertise. It's like not listening to a doctor when he tells you those black polyps on your x-ray are cancer and you need them removed or you are going to die.
I don't know how a film like this got made in this day and age, but I'm grateful it did.
Lied the movie. ActaulA rab bad guys-how pre-9/11.Hwod di ti get made with such un-PC instincts?
Is Neeson's hair color in the Crayola 128 box?
Kidnapped by white slavers in Paris? Seriously? Not exactly a travel plug for France. Still, it's on my list of flicks to see. Who plays Stepdaddy Warbucks? Alec Baldwin?
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
Notice it was released after the Obama team had this election in the bag. This movie was released overseas long before it was in the US. Can't have any of this pro-violence, evil terrorists-who-aren't-white-supremecists while Dubya is in office. Might reflect on his unique prosecution of the war on terror, after all.
Nah, now the good guys are back in office. We can release the really entertaining movies, now.
Children are more or less status symbols in California. With Planned Parenthood on every other street corner, actually going through with the process is a kind of flaunting in everyone's face — "I'm so rich I can afford to have kids!"
Great movie!
I have to say, I agree wholeheartedly with your review and I really liked the straightforward right v wrong attitude of "Taken" I am a reformed moonbat thanks to NPR* and President Bush** and my upright hard working husband. I went to see "Taken" with a group of left leaning ladies in a movie group and pretty much the take away was the abomination of the torture scene and disapproving frowns over the sex trade in young girls along with some indulgent laughs over my enthusiasm for the movie's story and Neeson's character.
* NPR's slanted reporting on Israel drove me, screaming, away from mainstream media
** President Bush, the most upright man in politics I have ever seen, turned me away from the Dems because of their heinous treatment of him after they soft-gloved the decadent Clinton (not that I agreed with publically humiliating him either – either charge him or shut up.) I digress.
The film could have sprung entirely from one of Kipling's more famous couplets:
"For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot."
Oh, I should add, that although the movie is rated PG-13, I read up on it and decided not to bring my 14 year old son to see it. The rating system is so screwed up crazy that the movie "International" was rated R, I suppose because of the bloody scenes, but most of the shootout was what I refer to as cartoon-y violence for lack of a better term for the shootem ups that carry on fast and furiously. But the first reason I decided not to take my son to see "Taken" was because of the story line which I though should have earned the movie and R. I don't think it's great to expose a young boy to the idea of kidnapping and holding captive young women to sell them to the sex trade, that idea is disturbing to a young mind at a place deep inside them while they are still developing, so R, let the viewer be over 17 years old. And then having seen the movie, the violence, while as you say it served the cause of saving the girl, was not the cartoon-y distant style, it was up close often hand to hand brutal killing and just, I think, graphic enough to earn an R rating. So, I guess I don't get the rating systems criteria.
If we could assign actual people to the roles depicted in this exciting movie, who would be the sheik ? Assuming of course that Liam Neeson is a metaphor for George Bush.
[...] Taken with Taken. [...]
Kidnapped by white slavers in Paris?? Not exactly a great travel plug for France. But not that I'm completely bothered by that either.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
No.
No, liberals always think they know more from their "many years of college" and thinking, than anyone who has worked "in the field."
Does that sound like our current POS President of the US?
go watch Man on Fire. Now THAT'S an awesome revenge fantasy. Taken is C-level nonsense.
I loved this movie — a real dad, a real hero, real bad guys, and yes, lots and lots of action. As a person of the female gender, I appreciate a movie that lets dads be the hero. I consider my dad a hero, in more ways than one — he's a cop, and he's a great dad.
Besides, 8 bucks is a small price to pay to watch Liam Neeson be a truly intimidating bad-ass with a righteous cause.
Great review! Not an action movie kind of girl, but I respect the genre – I do like it that "real men" like them.
I'm betting Natalie Holloway was kidnapped and not murdered.
Hey, remember when Hollywood knew who the bad guys were? I recently saw Swordfish and my mouth dropped open at the end. I guess the 9/11 blasts were big enough to give everyone amnesia – even on the opposite coast.
I enjoyed MAN ON FIRE but it had some real pacing issues and overdid the tortured hero bit, TAKEN may not have that film's budget or star, but it is perfectly paced and has three unforgettable scenes: The kidnap scene alone (mentioned here) is worth the price of admission and better than anything in MAN ON FIRE — and I say that as a fan of both. The other two scenes involve a light switch and a certain Frenchman's wife.
Taken is not C-level nonsense, it is B-level genius. A simple story told well. Sounds easy but all too rare these days.
Well, I live in Ca and I hope my kids aren't status symbols– but I get your meaning and I have seen it in action. The status symbol kids are treated as an accessory. Mom doesn't stay home and take care of them- ewwww! But she doesn't work either. She hands the kid to the nanny, goes to the gym, the hairstylist, gets a mani-pedi and tops it off with some shopping before heading home to see the nanny off before hubby gets home. I swear to God I have seen this.
[...] says Jonah Goldberg, over at Big Hollywood, about this generic action film, which is such a huge hit [...]
I think "Taken" is meant to be a catharsis for men after years of emasculating portrayals as the hapless idiot who spends most of his adult life acting like an adolescent and only straightening up after finding Mrs. Right. So what if "Taken" is simplistic and cliche. It gives men their manhood back and I say it's high time Hollywood realized that the audience wants to see real men again.
"Liberals will hate Taken" -written by commenter LoneWolfArcher may be inaccurate. Why?
I attended a screening of Taken in Hollywood at the Arc Light Theater where a panoply of assorted Hollywood freaks also attended. This is not your family crowd.
The reaction from that particular group in the audience was dramatic. At least 20 of theses assorted individuals throughout the theater hooped, hollered and cheered whenever Liam Neesan's character took care of business. I was completely encouraged by the power of Human Nature cutting through the expected cultural response to good vs. evil contained in a traditional father/daughter relationship. Hopeful, yes?
Nice movie, but am I the only one here who thinks Jonah is mocking the film?
Jonah is the father of an adorable little girl so I really doubt it. Read it again with the realization that he might be bringing up some of his own home debates in it.
Haven't seen it, but it sounds a little (a lot?) like Commando. Arnold, retired from his life as a badass, sucked back in when his daughter Alyssa is kidnapped. Tracks her down and mows down her kidnappers. Zero nuance. Excellent.
I gotta see this. Awesome review Jonah! The thing is this: Girls need to have father figures as much as boys do. Girls need to have an example of what a good man is in order to make good choices in relationships when they get older. So many young women are left adrift now days because their own mothers were led astray by the howling cats of NOW to shun men. These girls grow up with part time dads and many of those dads probably wanted to be more than that.
It is an absolutely brilliant film. If that’s your kind of thing.
Actually, it IS my kind of thing. I'm honestly not really sure where you're going, Jonah, unless you are just getting a kick out of playing devil's advocate – in which case, to quote a friend, "I hear what you're saying, but you're wrong."
No, Goldberg is a pretty hard core conservative and a father himself. He is making fun of the liberals worldview who believe it is so uncool to be disliked by the French and Euros..
Yes, the plot is predictable and cliched, but then, life is a cliche of itself. The reason these stories are told over and again with different characters and circumstances is because they are the kinds of stories most people like. The bad guys SHOULD get it in the end; bad behaviour SHOULD result in pain and suffering. Good deeds from a good heart should be rewarded. Used to be lots of movies like this; now they are few and far between, supplanted by cynical, nihilistic, dark, and "relevant" films like "Watchers". The late '40s through the '50s was a great time for great writers and directors, yielding many intensely good films. Try "Teacher's Pet" with Clark Gable and Doris Day, "Young Man With a Horn" (Kirk Douglas, Lauren Bacall, and Day again), or "Detective Story" with Douglas and William Bendix. There is nothing like them now.
He is indeed. He is flipping the satire 180 degrees, writing purposely from the jaded, cynical perspective of a "liberal" who rejects all the banal values we conservatives hold dear, just to bring the film additional attention. It's called a "bump". The film warrants a bump or two.
I watched this movie the other night and I agree it was excellent. In fact, it's one of the best movies I've seen in a while. Good review Jonah.
My new favorite line in a movie starts "We used to outsource this sort of thing……"
When "Commando" was first shown in theaters, they were packed, and when Arnold first appeared on screen, the audience applauded madly. At least, they did in my town. The 80s were a good time. We were really learning to "all get along". Now we are learning that we can't get along, we are all "cowards" and nothing can be "perfected" until all injustices are made right. My recollection of the '80s was of a warm time where good humor and community were commonplace. We have entered an era of cynicism that can only be dispelled by a leader of Reagan's vision and upbeat, realistic world view. Unfortunately we do not have such a leader, so far as I can tell.
I would say Jonah lovingly mocked the movie. After all you do need a big suspension of disbelief with all the just in time saves that happen. But we've grown used to so many over the top scripts we can handle it. Reminds me a little of boring dad Gene Hackman being forced back into the role of a dynamo operative in France and blowing the mind of his smartass son. Once in a while Daddy gets some credit. If he's a secret agent man (in France).
I said this when I saw The Bourne Identity, and it fits here as well: Every guy, deep down, wishes he was that bad ass; the difference between wimps and real men is that the wimps are scared by the idea that there are guys that bad ass in the world, while the real men are happy about it.
That Gene Hackman movie was Target, with Matt Dillon as the idiot son as I recall. Wow, I just checked IMDB and it came out almost 25 years ago!
Since the movie is french, I'd have to say they have a huge import possibility here. Making the movies American movie producers won't.
More please.
I have got to read more Kipling…
Ogletree, what movie was that?
never mind, I see Joe Melnick's answer below. I'll have to check it out!
Jonah loved the movie, but has enough self-insight to mock himself, in part, for his enjoyment. Doesn't make it a bad film.
The genius of the ending was that it's a perfect setup for the sequel. What pop diva doesn't need rescuing sooner or later?
All three are very worthy, but I'll tip the hat to Mr. Neeson, posing as a bureaucrat, dressing down some Muslim pimps, who had the temerity to play the race card on him. He doesn't budge an inch and the scene only gets better from there.
Taken wasn't "Bridge on the River Kwai," but it was one of the most satisfying movies I've seen in a long time.
Which would explain Matt Damon's hatred for James Bond quite aptly.
I would modify this a bit:
"…wimps are scared by the idea that there are guys that bad ass in the world, while the real men want, work toward, and accept he mantle of becoming that bad ass in the world.
I would modify this a bit:
"…wimps are scared by the idea that there are guys that bad ass in the world, while the real men want, work toward, and accept the mantle of becoming that bad ass in the world.
"Taken" ought to be required viewing for naive youths and their parents — before such unsupervised trips are scheduled.
What's not to like about this movie? He kills all the bad guys and saves his daughter! A happy ending!
[...] Well, check out his review of Taken over at Big Hollywood. [...]
Great movie. Part Bourne, part Bauer, part Commando. Some of the action was unrealistic, but a lot of fun to watch.
Exactly. But it's not always appreciated how hard it is to make B-level genius. In addition Taken demonstrated an admirable low-budget resourcefulness. Think of the "auction" scene in the darkened parlour — exuding sinister atmosphere but which for all we know was shot in a warehouse using only lighting effect and black backdrops.
I think that Michael Moore would be very believable in the role of a porcine Arab pedophile- but hey, maybe that's just me…
Absolutely spot on (especially as regards to the kidnap, light switch, and Frenchman's wife scenes)!
I found both Taken AND Man on Fire to be SUPERB productions- and I'm generally jaded and cynical and thus a very tough critic!
Best line in the movie: "You don't remember me do you? We talked on the phone 2 days ago. I told you I would find you."
I imagined Steven Seagal saying a line like that (he made a very similar movie a few years ago) but it just didn't work. He's not a good enough actor to make it sound like anything but a stagey line. See, it wasn't just the story that made the movie so good. Liam Neeson was perfect for the part.
Yes, that is one of the best scenes. Completely slipped my mind. The scene starts out in a way you'd never expect and keeps growing until you can't believe what you're watching.
I have always loved this type of movie. One of my favorites is Open Range. While this is a different genre, the story is basically the same: bady guy and his henchmen try to bully the good guys, good guys get even big time. I look forward to seeing Taken.
Absolutely brilliant black humor line. Had most of the audience laughing at torture!
The only thing I didn't like about this movie: the actress that plays the 18 year-old daughter is 25 years old, and I believed that I had seen her play an adult in some other role (not to mention the Maxim spread she did a couple of years ago). Aren't there any innocent-looking 18 year old actresses in Hollywood?
Wasn't it a French film? English language, certainly, but filmed there and produced there, wasn't it? I don't generally pay attention but I've noticed lately that there seems to be quite a few films with American sensibilities produced in France. Is that my imagination.
An 18 year old actor would probably look 12.
I loved the movie and was thrilled that the villains would be portrayed correctly as Albanian muslims.
DITTO!!!!
Liam Neeson was perfect; a phenomenal actor.
Attacking him with a rolledup copy of Mother Jones or his Oscar ? Besides he's from Flint, not Dearborn.
Sadly this is not a CA phenomenon – I've seen it here in NC and in DC. It's the I-can-afford-NOT-to-take-care-of-my-kids ultimate symbol of status. I guess it's not really the kids, it's the people you can afford to hire to take care of them.
I've been reading Jonah's work since he was a mere slip of a boy over at National Review. He got some crazy idea about bringing NR into this new-fangled thing called the internet. So it's a little hard for me to miss the underlying sarcasm in his review. And now that I've read the entire plot, I'll see it anyway.
I'll pretend my older daughter is the girl. Since she voted for Obama, I can pretend she will learn her lesson from this, including what a mensch I am. Naw, she was one of those who made the mistake of voting for Obama to teach the RINOs a lesson. Never mind, I'll have to find a different way of punishing her for her well-intentioned error.
"The trouble with wives and daughters is they don’t blindly follow Dads’ perfect understanding of how the world works. "
I am a dad in the process of sorting out this patriachy thing for myself so I am not judging anyone but myself, however, it has recently become clear to me how many families today lack real male leadership based on responsiblility and principles. If we men turn off the TV and video games and take up the yoke of family leadership then we could expect our wives and children to follow us anywhere.
He is. But I still have a hard time not picturing him in kilts.
The light switch scene was my favorite –
2nd best – when he is at their hideout – at the kitchen table – and they have no idea who he is – until he tells them "I told you I'd find you"
Check the Yahoo movie guide for the BIG difference between what audiences think of the movie and what the MSM critics think. Wide gulf there. Also, that the movie actually moved up in ticket sales as the weeks have gone by. Verrrry interesting. I saw it the 1st week and loved it! Refreshing in its straight forward kick-ass way. A great B movie. (as in lets go to the drive in movies this week and see the latest movie, cool, fast and fun)
Most of the kids I see here in Central Cali are planned and they typically don't speak English, so the Planned Parenthood on the corner doesn't really make sense to the parents who had them in the first place.
I'm sure there are plenty of porcine Arab pedophiles in Flint too if you know which rocks to look under.
My son & saw it together and had a blast. Neeson can do no wrong. He makes Damon look like a choir boy and I am pretty sure he'd throw Craig off the balcony with one hand while drinking his martini with the other.
Does he have a brother?
No, he's from a cushy suburb and just lies about being from Flint….
You know, I watched TAKEN and although I loved Liam's character and how he kicked the Arab's ass in the end (and all the slugs in between) I couldn't stand the Mother and Daughter and didn't really connect with the film only because of their spoiled rotten characters. Believe me, I usually LOVE films like this one!!!
Yeah, does he have a brother??
Best Commando lines: "Sully, I like you. I'll kill you last".
And then, holding Sully by one hand while suspended over a precipice: "Sully, remember when I said I'll kill you last? I lied".
Being a blond, in college, who doesn't consider herself stupid, it made me very happy when the stupid slutty blond died and the dad was right.
Oh, and Liam has be best intimidation voice ever!
I read the entire Jungle Book to my eight year old daughter over four glorious months. Kipling is sublime, all of him.
Axl, I am trying to figure out if you are saying something deep or goofy, and I would like to know more. Jonah says that the film is brilliant. I don't understand where the mocking comes in.
Excellent insight. Follow the money.
Oh ho, they pooh pooh male leadership right up until there is a crisis, and then they turn to you, open their eyes real wide, clasp their hands together, and say, "So what are you going to do?" Today, I still can't believe my astonishment the first time this happened to me.
Except perhaps in the title of his review–THAT part is very cynical.
hmm…. my previous comment is "currently in moderation"… was it something I said?
I didn't care for Rob Roy so I don't have that problem.
Just think of him rescuing Jar Jar Binks. You won't picutre him in a kilt ever again.
Got it. Thanks.
I've seen it first hand, and unfortunately in a relative. She has a nanny, a housekeeper and she can't manage to feed her kids a decent breakfast without help.
None that I can think of.
Not just in CA, NC or DC. I live in ATL, and this is what the young ones in my neighborhood do daily. Most of my neighbors are old as heck, I do live in a pretty nice place, but you can tell by the way they treat their grown children, and the children treat them back, that they did it, too. I have always been looked at as freakish, because I took care of my own kids, and hauled them to activites when they were younger, and hosted tons of kids here, and took care of them.
I have no prob with him in kilts. In fact, I would like to offer him an open invite to my house wearing his kilt.
We can thank Planned Parenthood for defining pregnancy as a venereal disease, and children as 'burdens'.
Have seen this one twice, and not just because "Victor", the Pop Diva's producer, is played by my younger son—as to the release date, the pg rating, and the disjointed feeling of some of the killing scenes—Luc Besson, the French director lobbied long and hard (delaying the US release) to retain scenes that would have required an R rating–the US distributor wanted to have PG for market purposes (a misjudgment, no doubt), thus causing the jerky cuts feeling, and unloading some much more graphic scenes about the degradations of the sex-slave trade matter—I can't wait for the DVD, especially if we can get a "director's" cut—you'll like it even better
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