Daily Gut: No ‘Arrogant Americans’ Need Apply
by Greg GutfeldSo a firm out of Rolling Meadows posted an ad looking for a technical writer -one who musn’t be an “arrogant American.”
Because the job would deal with Chinese businesses, Viva USA – a placement firm – wanted to make sure they attracted applicants who were “respectful.”
Naturally, once the news got out, the ad was taken town, with the firm blaming the client for the actual wording. They didn’t read the ad they posted, they seem to be saying – which I doubt.
Now, it’s not really a big deal, unless you consider how it might have turned out if Yanks weren’t the target.
Imagine if the ad had read:
“Please, no drunk Brits need apply – or if you do, don’t vomit in our plants.”
Or “If you’re violently Scottish, please refrain from knifing anyone in the parking lot unless they really deserve it.”
Or, “Sneaky Russians are welcome, but don’t poison the boss with dioxene until you’re absolutely sure he’s a spy.”
(Notice how I skipped the really offensive stereotypes!)
Bottom line: that “arrogant” wording in the ad got through because everyone who saw it agreed with it.
And let’s face it: we are arrogant Americans.
And by arrogant, I really mean successful.
See, the world views our success as arrogance – because we’re really good at doing good. And to most of the globe, that’s bad. We now live in a world where competing is unseemly – unless of course, you’re trying to out-recycle a neighbor.
But if you’re trying to make money, invent stuff, save thousands of lives from natural disasters or eliminate maniac dictators – you’re kind of a jerk.
I wonder where they got an idea like that.
Oh yeah.
Probably America.
It seems were even the best at anti-Americanism, too.
And if you disagree with me, you’re probably a racist homophobe who hates cats.






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207 Comments
"No Arrogant Americans Need Apply".
I am crushed.
Crushed to learn that in the depths of the recession, I am unemployed, and now unemployable. I had high hopes of filling a slot for one of those "jobs created" and had high hopes that I could be a "technical writer". Oh well, I have resolved myself to the fact that I must hang around here, in literary purgatory, being an incessant irritant to the Hollywood types…………
I'm an Irish-Arrogant-American. Am I disqualified?
Damn! He's right…I do hate cats! That Gutfeld is good.
HEY, JUST BECAUSE I'M A RACIST HOMOPHOBE DOESN'T MEAN I HATE CATS!! YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Personally, I like cats.
Here is a good recipe:
http://www.twincities.com/national/ci_14418362?so...
I hate arrogant cats. Is that ok?
Just gay black cats.
Viva USA's website http://www.viva-it.com/faq.asp is loaded with helpful advice for the non-arrogant (non-Americans) working in America , such as how to apply for Social security number,
furnish your home at garage sales, and
"There are special stores for vegetables/food (grocery) and departmental chain stores for A to Z general merchandise. They often sell products at discount (concession) on weekends and holidays for which you should be reading daily newspapers. Incidentally, do not store old newspapers as none buy them, as in India."
Needless to say, the US is shopper's paradise. The 'sale' is a way of life here, occurring in big retail stores several times a year – often at unlikely moments. So-called January sales, for instance, can begin immediately after Christmas, and summer clothes go on sale in late spring or early summer on the grounds that prompt, regular shoppers will have bought their already.
Looks like they could benefit from an Arrogant American proofreader…
Here's an accompanying cover letter for your resume if you want that job:
America sucks, it's full of teabagging rednecks. Diversity uber alles!
Please hire me.
Sincerely,
A liberal pantywaist
Whoa, I forgot all about that term, 'pantywaist.' Nice, modern creative usage for it, too. Hey man, thanks for the memories!
I notice that hip-hop/anti-white sociology professor Marc Lamont Hill is on tonight. I think I'll pass on tonights show. He makes me ill.
Queen Ann! Yeee hawww is right.
Massive airlift required by disaster-struck small nation.
Only arrogant Americans may apply.
I heard Tiger Woods doesn't have anything on Obama.
Obama has three ways with the truth, and has screwed 300 million Americans.
It's only arrogance to the jealous who are devoid of pride, of self- worth, of love of Country.
…and he speaks liberal jibberish really – really – really – really – REALLY fast!
I get a headache. BUT ANN COULTER!!! YEA!!! that'll shut him up.
Would the arrogant American song remain the the same if the ad had read, No Black Americans Need Apply? A goodly number of Chinese teeth would be chattering then, wouldn't they?
I see nothing wrong with refusing to hire arrogant-Americans A.K.A. regressive Liberals.
You got that right, Robert.
nutria! I lived on Lake Austin ( in the formerly white trash section) and we had nutria lumbering around the grounds by the water..
I'm a desert kid, I'd never seen alot of wildlife (live), and I thought the nutria were big slow rats…
nice…
and abilty, courage, know how, …
I can't wait for Ann to Give Lamont a deadly prostate milking.
They are big slow rats. Some dining establishments have them on the menu around here. Can you say sauce picante?
http://cajunboyinthecity.blogspot.com/2008/11/how...
Arrogant Americans? Yes… I'm having a flashback to a day, back when I was still a naive liberal, I had my daughter in a little charter school for socialists. My daughter and her friends decided, in a carefree bout of childhood recess play, to compete (competition was a no-no at the school, of course) each other in a game of soccer.
My daughter and her friends began to chant, "We're number one!"
This made the female School Director come running out of her office – long hair streaming behind her, arms waving and mouth opened in horror – to say, "No, no… You can't yell "We're number one!" That'll hurt the other kids feelings. Instead you can yell this: Bananas, coconuts and grapes. We're Tarzan of the Apes!"
So call me an arrogant American; better that than a lunatic.
I'm gonna watch just to see if Lamont implodes – bada bada bada bada POW!
Here's my take:
We, the "progressive, all-inclusive, peaceful, loving, eco-minded community" are looking for like minded, poorly educated, victim status, childish adults, willing to hawk for destructive "opportunity" programs. Destroying the constitution is our goal. Teabagging, racist, violent homophobes need not apply. We Hate everyone who doesn't agree with us, that's what makes us so "understanding of multi-culturalism"
So, if you are a white, educated male of european descent, and have never attended an Bill Ayers or Madeline Dorhn "re-education" seminar, we will violate the EEOC, and not hire you. Because you are evil. Pure evil. You are worse than bush. Like Fight Club, you are "Dave's swollen hemmorhiod"
/sarc off.
Please tell me that's not a true story-PLEASE.
Er, ya – but uh – no thanks…
That Louisiana Nutria Round up rings a bell…
You got that right. Apparently, 'arrogant' and 'white' are assumed synonymous so the implication is automatic. Incredible, isn't it?
I'd pass on the show–he's not nearly arrogant enough.
Well, now that I finally registered, I can get a few thumbs up!
Hey cowboy, i totally agree. BTW, this is 'vivi libero o muori' had to shorten my name to register on intense debate.
You know, the world has had a really good run of Americans turning the other cheek. I think this ad went through several passes and was deemed just fine. Didn't even occur to them it would matter because … you know … everyone says that kind of thing about Americans. Suddenly someone says "knock it off!" and they're like "We don't know how it happened! We'll find someone to blame right away!" Sniveling cowards. They should own their douchebaggery. No wonder they need us to save their asses every couple decades.
That story reminds me of a co-op school I took my daughter to for a couple of months. There were no toy guns, of course, so the boys used Legos to make their own toy guns. Then they were stopped from doing that so they used blocks to pretend guns. They were stopped from doing that so they used sticks. They were not explicitly stopped from doing that because recess was over by then.
My husband dislikes Weber's music, that is like hating Cats.
As I so often ask…what kind of people think this way? What occurs in someone's head to think what the ad states, let alone write it? Louts. Clumsy, ill-mannered, undisciplined louts. I seriously wonder about these America haters. Self-loathing as they are, they should be. Who else says things like no negro dialect, and clean and articulate when referring to Black people? Who says the things these people say? ( Besides children)
The 'lowest classes' of the (yea, arrogant) old world possessed the courage to leave their homeland (so you know life there must have been awful) and come here to rebuild their lives, freely. And what happened? This nation became the most envied nation on earth; God-fearing, generous, wealthy, bountiful, patriotic, powerful, free. And I believe that Europe has always been galled by that fact–galled that those they considered the 'least' among themselves came here and worked themselves to the 'mostest' of the world.
And they've been whittling away at this country ever since. They're not interested in this 'one world' nonsense–no way. Why, they can't stand us, why would they want that? What they'd like, ultimately, is to have free access to this country in order to neutralize us, pillage us, reduce us to a size and to a people that makes them feel comfortable with us and with themselves.
Sorry, it's all true. And, unfortunately, I could write a long chapter on more insanity of that John Dewey-influenced school. Only later, when I opened my eyes did I learn about Dewey's influence in socialism.
There ya go! How 'bout dat!!
Off topic. I can be an arrogant Yankee fan when prodded enough by an obnoxious Red Sox fan. Pitchers & catchers should be in camp, The Yanks will be w/o longtime trainer Gene Monahan. Get well soon Geno!!
"…mutilated monkey pus…pulverized canary butts!" (?)
thanks for the memories….
Had this teacher been really familiar with Tarzan, she probably would've freaked over that story of a white man being the king of the jungle. Delicious irony.
…and you get one for that!
Ya, tough one about Mr. Monahan. I hope he's in Tampa at least – better weather.
Otherwise I'm psyched…#28 – now serving #28….
Word on dat brah! I can tune in on da rest of da media to hear da affirmative action, fulsome immigration, anti white drivel.
C'mon, it's just code talk for no Obama supporters. Those are the only arrogant Americans I know.
Having done business (in a small way) with American service companies in Europe, my impression is that many are unable to adapt to local conditions. These may be typical American problems, but they have little to do with individual arrogance. Individual Americans usually try to be considerate and forthcoming.
Their difficulties are caused by excessive legalism, short-term thinking, an inability to devolve responsibility, a tendency to treat local middle managers and workers as interchangeable drones – in short, they come out of HQ and the kind of legalistic, bureaucratic corporate culture that is the very opposite of entrepreneurship. That is why American banks or retailers are as irrelevant in Europe as American manufacturers. Despite their huge market research budgets they don´t understand different consumer preferences or perceptions of quality, or labor laws for that matter. You cannot drive out a well-established local competitor with a relentless focus on quarterly financial targets.
It is a form of parochialism, but it cannot be blamed on what many Europeans still think of as "American spirit". It represents the very opposite.
On the other hand, I have worked for a French bank doing business across the world and they are extremely smart about expanding internationally. While running everything with a firm hand, they avoid all the mistakes cited above, understand long-term thinking and make money the process. And that is absolutely not because the French are very self-effacing or lack patriotism.
Which is, by the way, a uniquely American kind of madness. You won´t find that kind of perversion in France or Germany. They would just laugh at you.
Just as American conservatism is unique and different from the European kind, so is American liberalism. The latter is much more scary in my opinion.
Human nature wins again! Dennis Prager once told a story of a man who tried to raise his children without establishing any gender roles. So he gave his daughter two little trucks to play with. And she gave them names and put them to bed.
Apply anyway. When asked whether you are arrogant, you just say "Technically no."
Are you sure you're not describing DHL (German company like UPS, for those that don't know)? Because that sounds exactly like their Fail with ABX and the other American carriers they bought out a few years ago and messed over….
Amazingly, the origins and purpose of all this chaos are predicted and accounted for in the prophetic, political Thriller book, BLACK ROAD 2012, which I bought on amazon, and was a real goose-bumpy, totally absorbing ride: http://tinyurl.com/amazon-BLACK-ROAD-2012
Basement Cat has a gay brother?!
They thumbs-upped you because they think you're arrogant.
I'm sorry – as a baseball fan myself, I regret to inform you that I was forced to rate you a thumbs-down.
Yankees fan?!
Whatever, dude. Whatever.
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AND…..we are far more attractive than the Brits and the French.
Our general population is considerably more pleasing to the eye than the general populations of England and France combined!
Don't hate us because we're beautiful – hate us because we're arrogant!
(sarcasm….off? I post – you decide)
Gut, we love you. Please get some sleep… your writing has become too sloppy… perhaps too much lotion.
That's quite all right no apology necessary. I'm a baseball fan as well, and love to talk baseball with anyone, regardless of who they root for.
Are Arrogant-Kenyans ok?
El Gordo, my children were raised in Europe and I can tell you that the "no competition" mind-set is alive and well there. My son is very fast and would win most of his races but he never got a medal. The medals were given to the whole team. After awhile, although my son still ran fast, he didn't try as hard to do his best. He only did what was necessary to win–for his team. In other words, he didn't go for personal best.
The days of "personal best" are on their way out.
Excuse me, that would be gay, african-american cats, thank you very much.
Red Eye with Ann Coulter? Yeeee hawww!!! ahem – I meant "oh goody – I MUST tune into that fine, fine program".
I notice that hip-hop/anti-white sociology professor Marc Lamont Hill is on tonight. I think I'll pass on tonights show. He makes me ill.
I wouldn't say I'd be the best man for the job, just better than everyone else.
There ya go-not arrogant. But I am trying to figure out how to rid my neighborhood of some felines. And no, there is no good recipe for them, not when you can have nutria.
You had me at Robots Galore.
.
He had me at lotion.
Ayn Rand wrote a book about what could happen of the producers went on strike ("Atlas Shrugged"). So what if arrogant America "went on strike", too. Here's the Memo:
To: World
From: America
Re: Arrogance
Date: Today
It has come to our attention that in our prosperity and liberty of the past two hundred years, we have become arrogant.
In order to atone for this failing of personality, from this day until further notice, America will enter arrogance rehab. We'll be incommunicado for a few months or years, depends on how long it takes for us to get well
Instead of spreading the largess of our people (which we take from them in the form of taxes) all over the world in Foreign Aid, we're going to keep the money right here to help our own citizens. With what we spend in Foreign Aid (which ends up in the Swiss Bank Accounts of the leaders) we probably can support every needy American in fine fashion. So if you guys need medicine, or Aids treatment, you'll just have to call humble Canada or stiff upper lip Britain or loving France. They have socialized medicine, and from what they tell us, socialized medicine is a panacea for everything.
Instead of defending our allies with our guns, lives and missiles while they pour the money they would have spent on defense on social programs to make their people love them and hate us, we're going to direct what military funds we have left after the Democrats take a machete to defense right here in America. Protecting Americans in America — what a concept! Europe, that means you're going to have to cut some of the programs you disparage us for not having or start learning Chinese or Arabic.
We're out of Iraq and Afghanistan on Thursday week. So you folks had better decide whether you want to go back to the Stone Age or pick up some stones and start defending yourself. It's your country.
Saudi, you and all the rest had better hire yourself some Swiss guards pronto. America isn't going to do the heavy lifting gratis anymore.
Iran, you Mullahs and your trained monkey play with all the uranium you want so long as you know that if one glowing atom comes within 10000 miles of America, your turbans will be floating somewhere in the asteroid belt out there beyond Mars and your asses will be beyond Pluto.
Haiti, Indonesia, we're really sorry for your loss, but since we get nothing but grief for helping other countries out anyway, we're bailing on you. Our private, usually religious, entities will continue to help, of course, (they're not going to rehab with me), but the US Government is going to let Europe do the heavy lifting for the time being.
And, by the way, UN. We can't afford you anymore. You're useless anyway. Most of what you do is bash us. So from now on, you'll have to bash us from somewhere else. We just sold your building to Donald Trump. And we won't be paying dues anymore either, so you might have to boost dues to make up for the fact we've been footing most of the bill for a lot of years.
Wish us the best with our rehabilitation. Hopefully when we are released from rehab, we won't be so arrogant as to try to save the world from itself.
Sincerely
The Sleeping Tiger
You may not hate cats, but cats hate you. Just look at them watching you, waiting, licking their paws, sharpening their claws.
Their day will come.
I find him annoying as well. It's like every commercial on television where the black guy is "cool" and the white guys are goofy.
Do you ever see a commercial with a goofy black guy who doesn't know the best product to use?
Lamont Hill is okay every now and then but he's just on too much, and the rest of the panel treats him like the "wise black man who must be paid attention to".
Sorry, Obama has that job and one of him is enough.
"Bananas, coconuts and grapes. We're Tarzan of the Apes!" that's a hoot…like "great big gobs of greasy grimey golpher guts…"
I'm glad to see your eyes' were opened. I myself went through a period of being pretty much a liberal while in college. The instructors really heap a lot of subtle and not so subtle propaganda on you, and being young and thinking I knew it all w/o experiencing much didn't help. Getting a full-time job and buying a house changed all that.
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
Right on, if the bookish 14 y.o. is an idiot.
Only if they're American cats.
Depends on if your definition of arrogant is arrogant…
(Oohhh, I just made a Clintonism…I must submit myself to the will of Llandru…I must apologize…I must be cleansed…I must be purged…)
And if you disagree with my funny, you must be a racist trollophobe that hates warm tuna casseroles…
Only in very tiny European countries…
EPIC WIN…!!
For "I can has Cheezburger?" reference…+1 for you…!
"Gay kitteh…has teh gender identification issuez…"
Same thing…
"I hate arrogant cats."
All cats are arrogant.
So…
"I hate cats."
You are so right. It is completely arrogant of us to think we can actually help another country overcome their poverty or tyrannical government by sending foreign aid. How dare us. Bring the money home. It is far more humble for us to spend the $Billions on our own poverty.
Thanks for pointing this out, Greg!
"No Arrogant Americans Need Apply." It's not arrogance. It's confidence. You tend to get a high level of well-deserved self esteem when you and a handful of equally confident allies crush communist, socialist, and imperialist dictatorships like cockroaches under a mighty industrial red, white, and blue shoe.
They lost me at the World Series strike…
However, the NM Lobos are #1 in the Mountain West conference…!
AP: 12th, Coaches: 15th, Parrish Top 25: 11th, CBS Sports: 10th…
Here we come, NCAA…!
Can you shoot them with a .22…?
Need practice…
Yeah…!
Where are all those ennobled Jihadist sanctimonious twits helping out for the good of the people and the Muslim faith…?
The crickets continue to chirp…
And lefthanded vicious…
I like…
No such thing as too much lotion.
And with that, the entire Left of the world has been excluded…
H8trs…we arrogant Americans do it RIGHT…!
PS: Someone wake up a troll, this smooth confluence of ideas and commentary is just tooo easy…
I think Diogenes is still wandering the streets at night, now looking for a self-effacing, non-patriotic Frenchman.
Mine was, "…mutilated monkey meat, itty bitty birdie feet…"
I absolutely LOVE it when "touchy-feely" Lefty thinking runs smack dab into brain hardwiring…
Hijunks ensue…
My gosh that is pointless tripe! There is such a thing as an arrogant American. Why can't you accept it, and why is it so offensive to you? If you don't like being an arrogant American and being called out for it, then stop being one! Stop blaming everyone else for your problems. The attitude of this article is fascist, quite frankly. What a waste of humanity.
Good. Gives us better chances for medals at the Olympics…
Y'all are devoid of intelligence.
Yeehaw, its been so long since I had a lobotomy.. I mean, heard Ann Coulter speak.
Fine on the eyes she is when the volume is off. But she wears too many clothes.
And if you disagree with me, you’re probably a racist homophobe who hates cats.
What if I hate racist, homophobic cats?
Oops, we finally did wake up a troll…guess it isn't your day to wait in line for Government cheese today…
I am an arrogant American…everyone all around the world should be much more like me…I work, pay taxes, fight against government encroachment on my rights, put up with stupidity such as yours when we should be putting you down on the Prison Farm learning to work hard and develop character, passing slower traffic, kicking Dimocrat broad butts out of government seats, homeschooling kids, using firearms, protesting taxes, caring for my property, building mid-power amateur rockets, calculating force vectors, teaching my kids how to throw opponents and apply submission holds, caring for the livestock and animals, camping, hiking, and wilderness survival, and where I can I ridicule shiite like you, wanker boy…go pet your pud, scrote sniffer…
I win! I'm not only an arrogant American, I'm an arrogant Texan!
Thanks for that. It drives me nuts how when something in the world goes wrong, if we don't immediately jump in to help, we're excoriated on the world stage for being selfish and slow to respond to tragedy. But then, when we DO immediately try to help, we're excoriated on the world stage for arrogantly assuming we have all the answers and pushing our views on everybody else. I wish other countries would just make up their minds. Do they want us to help, or do they want us to leave them alone? They can't have it both ways.
The reaction to the ad has been funny to me. I never considered 'arrogant American' as a single 'word'. I always thought it meant 'if you're an American AND you're arrogant, don't apply' – non-arrogant American applicants are welcome.' I figured a specific personality type and demeanor would be needed for this specific position and the interview process would narrow down the best candidate. I would have applied for the job, had I felt I was otherwise qualified.
But, as usual these days, political correctness has kicked in and we Americans have to become victims of this vicious employer. Bummer….
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