Daily Gut: Socialism and Stuff
by Greg GutfeldSo a new Gallup poll just came out, reporting that socialism was viewed positively by more than one-third of Americans. That’s a lot of people, if you could call them that.
But I’m not surprised.
Think about it for a second. Since when has socialism ever been accurately portrayed in American pop culture or academia? I’ve never seen it covered in “Facts of Life,” and I’ve watched every episode. And Rage Against the Machine, one of the most successful leftwing buckets of noise on the planet, never really explained how they spent their millions. Although I’m guessing it’s not just on Rogaine and trucker hats.
Fact is, because socialism is a lie, people have to keep pushing the lie. When someone says, “Hey, my brother is a socialist,” they never follow it with, “you know, that ideology based on envy that’s responsible for the deaths of millions.” No instead it’s, “He sells Che shirts out of hemp, when he isn’t recycling sex toys for the homeless. God he’s so caring.”
Fact is, socialism is the easiest thing you can romanticize, because it’s a big fat exaggeration of “sharing.” As kids, we were always told to share, because sharing is good. If you had twenty Playboys under your bed, surely you could hand one off to Billy, who has none. Socialism has always piggybacked on this notion: that it’s just not right for you to have so much, when others have so little. Never mind that you’ve earned what you’ve got, while the others sit around watching Judge Judy in their underpants (sorry Bill). Socialism is government forcing you to share your stuff with jerks.
So the only way to teach American adults that socialism is evil, is to get them when they’re young. The next time your son mows the lawn, instead of paying him directly – tell him you’re going to “spread it around,” to quote our President. Yep, even though you did all the work, Tommy, there are kids down the block who deserve that money just as much.
Now, if your kid finds this idea appealing, you have full permission to send him to Venezuela. He can mow for Hugo!
And if you disagree with me, you probably masturbate to Noam Chomsky.
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171 Comments
In America, socialism is still an exciting experiment. But we never truly experienced it.
That's why the New Deal was called the New Deal. It was radical 'change' if you'll pardon the term.
No, socialism and what the word means vs. our constitution and founding principles are not taught. I passed along a link from Big Journalism about how actor Johnny Depp wears Che Guevera dog tags as cool jewelry. A person responded "Who's Che Guevera?"
Who's Johnny Depp?
This is easy to teach…
Start up a "candy tax" during Hollowe'en…seize the best stuff, while all those peanut-butter taffies and popcorn balls sit in the bags…eat most of it yourself, then give out small bites to the younger kids…
You'll have both hardcore capitalists, (and more than a few tax evaders) by November 5th…and they will always remember the lesson…
I like the graphic, but communists use guns. Socialists use feelings, nuance, and tolerance.
They don't teach that FDR's New Deal was ruled unconstitutional 9 times either.
"The next time your son mows the lawn, instead of paying him directly – tell him you’re going to “spread it around,” to quote our President. Yep, even though you did all the work, Tommy, there are kids down the block who deserve that money just as much."
Bullseye.
My wife is taking Chinese lessons at a local college, and her instructor grew up in China before moving to the US. The teacher tried to explain to the Obama-adoring crowd how awful living in Communism is, and they just wouldn't hear it. They just kept talking about how bad it is in America … where you have the freedom and money to take classes at adult school whenever and wherever you want.
Socialism is a stupidity that burrows deep into their being. They don't want facts, they just KNOW it's true, kind of like global warming and the idea that if we get rid of our nukes, Iran will get rid of theirs.
"Socialism is government forcing you to share your stuff with jerks." Best description of Progressive/Socialism I ever heard. LMAO…… Greg keep it up.
Yeah, imagine using that tactic with the mob: "Sure, I'll pay you *some* protection money, but I'd also like to spread some of it around to hookers, my bookie, and a new Ferrari."
All you need to know about our President is to have heard him the time he cracked wise about how Republicans were calling him a "secret communist because he shared a peanut butter sandwich when he was a kid.". That tells you alot about him.
Untill that fails, which it always does, then they use force. Goon squads with guns, battons and a enough stupid between them to power a large fleet of steam boats. Or Al Gore's mansion.
Of course all of that comes after they crush dissent, free speech, the rights of the people and nationalize everything from Kitty Litter companies to Newpaper.
David Horowitz has written quite a bit about the leftist takeover of our K-12, colleges and universities. Lefties knew that the previous generations of the American people (those still among the living) would never accept their agenda or their principles at face value. So, in the late 60’s, they set about to infiltrate our educational system to gain access to the minds of the coming generations of American youth. Thus began the brainwashing.
This, coupled with judicial activism and environmentalism, is the path they chose to re-educate the masses and lay the groundwork for seizing power. It should not come as a surprise that so many people think they are entitled to the fruits of other's labors.
Bet he didn't share his coke!
"And if you disagree with me, you probably masturbate to Noam Chomsky."
That's gonna hit a little too close to home for some.
…and the evil eye.
With at least a third of people in America getting payments and free services from the government, I'd expect them to be in favor of it. That's why the Leftist Progressives want that number to increase to 51+%, then they'll be able to take over the country using a ballot box instead of a gun.
"I’ve never seen it covered in “Facts of Life,” and I’ve watched every episode."
Wasn't that show about a privte school for girls, attended mostly by rich kids? I'm sure if you look again, you can find socialist themes there.
"And if you disagree with me, you probably masturbate to Noam Chomsky."
No, I just take the latest Krugman article into the bathroom with me.
…while the others sit around watching Judge Judy in their underpants…
And if you disagree with me, you probably masturbate to Noam Chomsky
This is so wrong, on so many different levels.
And yet, it is strangely realistic when put in the right perspective. I mean, our favorite BH trolls must be doing *something* in their parent's basement.
Time for a unicorn chaser.
He was in "21 Jump Street" with a guy who later directed and produced "Stargate SG-1".
Actually, we don't get our sons to mow lawns anymore. But no biggey; we can tell their replacements (illegal aliens) that they too need to share their pay with others…especially if they expect amnesty.
Even easier, a bunch of kids come to your door… instead of giving them more candy, just take some from whoever has the most and "redistribute" it to the rest.
Socialism is easy to sell because of human nature. It absolutely doesn't work because of human nature.
You might be able to negotiate that… I'm sure the mob has its fingers in the local vice operations, and probably businesses like that car dealership. Just ask if they have a package deal.
A venereal disease, I think. Lemme check my Merck Diagnostic manual.
Greg, you're a funny man now–gimme yo' ****!
Girl comes home for winter break from college — and says to her father she's got a 4.0 grade average, and declares to him that she's " Now a Socialist …. "
Father asks, "Why not give some of your high grades to someone who's flunking out?"
She says, "No way, I stayed up all hours of the night for weeks on end to study my ass off to get those grades. "
Father replies, " Welcome to the Republican party and the Free Market system."
— Greg, you're a jewel in the crown of late night TV — if by crown, you mean thorn in the side.
Girl comes home for winter break from college — and says to her father she's got a 4.0 grade average, and declares to him that she's " Now a Socialist …. "
Father asks, "Why not give some of your high grades to someone who's flunking out?"
She says, "No way, I stayed up all hours of the night for weeks on end to study my ass off to get those grades. "
Father replies, " Welcome back to the Free Market Capitalism system."
— Greg, you're a jewel in the crown of late night TV — if by crown, you mean thorn in the side.
Nuance? Have you ever met an IRS Special Agent?
Girl comes home for winter break from college — and says to her father she's got a 4.0 grade average, and declares to him that she's " Now a Socialist …. "
Father asks, "Why not give some of your high grades to someone who's flunking out?"
She says, "No way, I stayed up all hours of the night for weeks on end to study my ass off to get those grades. "
Father replies, " Welcome back to the Free Market Capitalist System."
— Greg, you're a jewel in the crown of late night TV — if by crown, you mean thorn in the side.
"And if you disagree with me, you probably masturbate to Noam Chomsky."
So(cialis)m can help.
Girl comes home for winter break from college — and says to her father she's got a 4.0 grade average, and declares to him that she's " Now a Socialist …. "
Father asks, "Why not give some of your high grades to someone who's flunking out?"
She says, "No way, I stayed up all hours of the night for weeks on end to study my ass off to get those grades. "
Father replies, " Welcome back to the Free Market Capitalist System."
— Greg, you're a jewel in the crown of late night TV — if by crown, you mean thorn in the side.
I'm not worried about some others kids…I'm responsible for mine…and this works just fine to explain social redistribution of wealth…
It works for union dues, too…
I want to make a snarky joke about that, but it's just too true to life.
Yeah, there are some parts of college I'd rather not remember.
Very funny, but not a nice image to have flash in your head…….he say's this while scrubbing his eyes with bleach…………
Making fun of these people is the only way to turn this around. Please keep up the good work.
I seem to remember an episode where Jo took $100 from Blair's purse and gave 30 cents of it to Tootie, then called Blair "greedy" when she wanted her money back.
They had peanut butter in Indonesia when he was a kid? What evil capitalist company provided peanut butter to those kids, they should've been left alone to share a chew of tree bark.
"I'm sure if you look again, you can find socialist themes there, about how they're bad for being rich."
LOL indeed! After all, it's a show. Shows do that. Especially TV shows. Especially cheesy sitcom TV shows. Good grief in that era they ALL had a moral-of-the-story. Well, except Cheers and Night Court. Those were good, IIRC. Then again I wasn't as attuned to, as perceptive of, the incessantly interwoven propaganda as I am now.
Every single villian in Knight Rider. Every single villian in the A-Team. All the same story. Evil corporation, evil profit-makers, evil money-grubbin' oilmen. All white guys, without exception.
Why would "Facts of Life" be devoid of the same taint? I would do the research here, but no. freakin. way.
Can we redistribute the Rage Against the Machine music royalty checks to the legions of talentless schmucks clamoring for a b-slap from Simon Cowell.
Socialism can work! Of the several major varieties of socialist theory I can immediately think of, one comes to mind as having worked quite swimmingly at least in the short term. National Socialism was a smashing success; of course, they learned early they had to efficiently and effectively murder those class enemies and enemies of the Volk whose wealth they…er…appropriated. As a system, Socialism does seem to have had, generally speaking, more than a few dark days: the Khmer Rouge, the People’s Temple, the Cultural Revolution, the Holodomor, and the Holocaust…
"So the only way to teach American adults that socialism is evil, is to get them when they’re young."
Greg, great as usual. Part of the problem is that the socialists realized this years ago and have been indoctrinating school kids for such a long time that the damage is done. This is why I can still remember being taught about the heroic FDR saving America from the evil fat cat business men.
On the plus side, there are plenty of outlets where one can find the truth nowadays, like Big Hollywood or even Red Eye (except for the lies you spread about Griffins).
The smartest man in America! When he’s not running interference in the press for the Khmer Rouge while decrying America’s shameful and wanton destruction of socialism’s ‘good examples’, he’s praising Holocaust deniers like Robert Faurisson. I love his notion of ‘Libertarian Socialism’, obviously the political orientation of jumbo shrimp suffering freezer burn.
I pray to God that i never do.
And a simple question to pose to anyone who preaches the benefits of socialism should be to ask "why they don't practice it themselves".
People like Sean Penn would actually garner my respect if he ever came home from a trip to Venezuela and sold his Malibu beach house for a small home in South Central L.A. and then evenly distributed the proceeds of the sale to his new neighbors. But that has as much a chance of ever happening as someone actually getting aroused by Noam Chomsky.
[ Eli's Hammer ] II KINGS 18:27 You idiots are from NYC! If I were a kid I'd mow the lawn ez..What, like, as if: 10 blades of red fescue growing in your balcony pot planter? Yeah, got any finger nail clippers? "Spread it around"…No problem! Dad tells me that– I stay HOME..no sex for the parentals! You want to see free trade at its apex children? Go to Mexico and watch it in action….The dope trade. Laissez faire, indeed ! There is a reason to tax rich ass people…they use more services. They have armies in foreign countries to back their corporations. They have police and firemen at their beck nd call. (and those UNION cops know who butters the bread–ESPECIALLY in NYC!) And Unions are Communists thingies–Cops and fire are Union (and TV-Radio Conservative personalities too:) Cops are in Unions—Unions are Red–Conservatives sleep with cops—therefore: Conservatives are a buncha PINKOS! Now, there was a syllogism! (like a leeward window in an uptown massage parlor) [Eli's Hammer }
If by 'mob' you mean SEIU/ACORN/ANYTHING-OBAMA.ORG…
You might add the Soviet Union and the People's Republic of China to your list.
Whatever you're smoking must be really powerful sh*t!
And on and on…
That was perfect Greg! And illustrates Socialism so even a leftist dweeb will be able to understand.
Socialism can't exist in benign forms. It never has. That's the point. In order to establish forced equality, you have to use the coercive police power of the state. Socialism in the end has to be totalitarian. In the end, totalitarianism must become authoritarian. I think Roger Waters (a big, rich commie, by the way) wrote 'Money', not the Beatles. Ummm…
Not to mention, the freedom to talk about how terrible your country is.
I believe that's when the government nationalizes the dictionary publishers and rewrites the definition of the word "Libertarianism."
Not the only way. Shooting them is also an option.
Since the indoctrination of Socialism begins in the classroom, I have another illustration that could be used.
Professor to his top student, "Hey Tommy, I know you studied real hard to get that 'A' in my class, but some of the other students chose to party instead. So, in the name of fairness, I'm going to decrease your grade to a 'C', and increase theirs to a 'C'"
I know this does not deal with material wealth, but the concept is still the same.
Why work so hard when there is no incentive?
'Think about it for a second. Since when has socialism ever been accurately portrayed in American pop culture or academia?'
I'd hope that it never has been, if an 'accurate' description is along the lines of the crazy dribbling that you've come out with here. You seem to be talking about communism rather than socialism.
(and to preempt the chorus of brainwashed zombies who've just heard a bell ring: they're the same to the extent that capitalism and feudalism are the same, my dears)
Have you ever wondered why they stay here if they think that? I mean that if most of us were in a situation, state, job, ect that we disliked that much we would leave. Sure, sometimes it hard and cost us more than we can make back quickly. But if their conviction that the country is horrible runs that deep?
They'd leave.
Must eat Scuffle's brains, aaaaarrghhhhhhh
Damn.. sorry, clicked the submit button with half that done.
But that may require more bravery and willingness to sacrifice then the whiney SOBs can muster though. So they stay. They whine and they refuse to see what they have in front of them. Something that millions of people would die for, have died for, freedom and chance to make something of yourself in this life.
Maybe they feel guilty? Maybe their confused? I'll always wonder what it takes to make such a delusional person.
There was a later episode, maybe the graduation one, where Jo says she might pursue politics. I remember Mrs. Garrett saying, " . . . and if you're a Democrat . . . I'll vote for you."
I was around 10 years old and thought, "uggh."
I hope everybody gets to read James Cameron(director) explain how he likes to stick it to conservatives and that 'wealth' needs to be reexamined.It's in the link up top to the LA Times.This guy is pure evil.Cameron and Heather Mills need to 'reexamined'.
Great … A stream of consciousness troll.
That's a great line friend. It belongs on a bumper sticker!
terric
[ Eli's Hammer ] (socalism) I mean benign as in "able" to take over this country. Any third world country is prey to strong man–force–governments. Socialist or otherwise. Beetles sang it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3m-gOelA8g
…and (dot-dot-dot) Commies can prevail in post monarchies–and in post colonial poor countries. Spoiled folks idealize perhaps…but give a three day snowstorm in the east and south and one sees how long the "without stuff" life would last here.
Ya all kinda runnin' the hound up the tree with that false flag.
[ Elis Hammer ]
There are a couple distinctions between learning to share as a child and working in a country with a socialist system as an adult:
1. Children receive all of their possessions from their families; they don't earn their belongings. Therefore it is entirely appropriate to teach them to share the blessings they've received. (And maybe spontaneously share the loot they've earned voluntarily as well.)
2. The government (in the U.S. at least), was not created to function in the role of a parent to its citizens and therefore should not be able to arbitrarily make decisions about how its citizen's money is spent.
Keep on rockin', Greg.
[ Eli's Hammer ] II KINGS 18:27 "Dammit Buckwheat…that farmer gotts a tek-9." It's good to cling to Bibles and to 'guns'…but remember the weapon (this is my weapon–this is my gun..one is for…) thing before loading! Can't have some flatland intellectual bustin' a cap in his boo-tox. Then again, it's a parallax view I'm a taking. A c'mon sport, what's a mil-dot here, a J-Stars there? Ain't not athiests in a foxhole anyways!
[ Eli's Hammer ]
I can just imagine your wife's Chinese teacher scratching his/her head in stunned amazement at what the people who are whining, are whining about. Years ago I worked in a factory that was mainly populated with folks from Eastern Europe, and I got asked a lot about why do Americans complain so much.
A stream of gibberish consciousness.
Nice joke, but I've heard that somewhere before. Not sure where.
Socialism is basically a post industrial version of the feudal system.
A bot perhaps?
I don't pay any attention to all this crap. I just stand in the corner and masturbate till I pass out.
[...] from: Daily Gut: Socialism and Stuff This entry is filed under America – Blogs, Big Hollywood. You can follow any responses to this [...]
[ Eli's Hammer ] II KINGS 18:27 Last post from this 'bot.' (on this day's subject.) I was just funnin' with you boys a bit. Don't take to serious what's poked at you in fun. If you want and/or need a straw "socialism" to prop up your current world view…Far be it for me to continue to burst your bubble. I understand that you need a reason to be mad. I appreciate your angst in these uncertain times. I don't appreciate the idiots that fall for this crap, and then lead others into stuff they may not be prepared to finish. BOTH 'socialism' and 'national-socialism' were middle-class paroxysmal events. National-Socialism, obtw, was a cure for the fear of the advancing socialism. Given a false premise to begin–and false choices to end, will certainly not advance our free society.
[ Eli's Hammer ] II KINGS 18:27
Greg, i agree with your facts in the article. But for God's sake, did you have to use the last line to discredit you as a NUT and thereby making your whole article useless.
You are a voice that is needed in America. Please don't mar it by adding a line that equals you to being a nut truther
or the like by outrageous comments.
No, they aren't. And I am not your 'dear', you POS.
Greg,
Great cartoon! Can I write the caption?
"SAY BROTHER, CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?"
He didn't mention that the kid he "shared" it with was the one who brought the sandwich and the kid was "persuaded" to share.
"That one hurt." – Matt Damon
Girl comes home for winter break from college — and says to her father she's got a 4.0 grade average, and declares to him that she's " Now a Socialist …. "
Father asks, "Why not give some of your high grades to someone who's flunking out?"
She says, "No way, I stayed up all hours of the night for weeks on end to study my ass off to get those grades. "
Father replies, " Welcome back to the Free Market Capitalist System."
— Greg, you're a jewel in the crown of late night TV — if by crown, you mean thorn in the side.
Argue that point with one of the Che lovers and watch them go into the Robby the Robot brain loop.
It's kinda funny.
Ten years ago I asked six teenagers (in rural Florida) if they knew where Cuba was…I was horrified! What is Cuba? was the answer from ALL of them ..did I mention these were 11th graders?
Che is the coffee guy with the donkey… uh… right?
Yes, well played.
Successful socialist policies all!
I can hear the keys echoing in his basement…
I'd like to hear Glenn Beck use this line every night when he signs off.
in Italian, "ficca" means females private parts. can you imagine immigrants looking at their paychecks asking "I'm getting taxed for THAT?"
I think your thinking of Juan Valdez. The guy on TV was just an actor, though. Che had the original Juan Valdez executed in 1963.
Here's how we protested Obammy's Socialism.
At our family owned pizza shop, we offered an "Obama Pie" Special. Being in a liberal area, many of our customers were very excited about this special. As soon as the "bandwagoners" saw the sign–they lit up with smiles and ordered it.
The "Obama Pie" was a regular price large pizza, after cooking, two slices were removed and the pie was placed in the box or on the tray. When the puzzled customers asked about the missing two pieces, our staff told them that those pieces were given to people who couldn't afford to buy their own pizza. You can imagine the reactions from the do-gooder lefties! We may have lost a few lib customers, but we gained a bunch of new folks who loved the protest…Business booms!
I think you've discovered the secret to understanding…well, everything.
I was always under the impression that Feudalism and Socialism/Communism were closer than Feudalism and Capitalism…The lords' classes were just replaced with a permanent bureaucratic series of classes, with the only differences between Socialism and Communism being simply the difference between working for a somewhat benign lord (who'll still crack skulls if you don't produce enough for the estate) vs. Vlad the Impaler, and working for the good of the estate instead of the state.
I love doing this. I even made a comparison chart one time…The only big differences: Lords replaced by bureaucrats; estate replaced by state. The bureaucrat appointment process is even similar to how nobility got selected (i.e. no input by the people, but chosen by higher bureaucrats or the Party Chairman/King).
Send your kids to public school and every time they complain about zero tolerance policies or the bureaucratic nature of the institution say, "Welcome to Socialism." Works every time….
The goal of the public school is to further the bureaucracy and not their education. Without regard for talent or capability the school must go on……
THAT WAS GREAT! More businesses should do the same!
You didn't burst anyone's "bubble." You're not as smart as you think you are.
Good answer
I spent some time as a substitute teacher. I've seen time and time again the hard working kids do the lesson left by the absent teacher then get up, walk over and hand their completed work to the goof balls who couldn't be bothered to do anything and were usually discipline problems to boot. These kids copied the other kids' work right out in the open in front of me and spat the word "snitch" at me when I told them I'd take down their names for cheating. I asked the "good" kids why they did it. They said they were just "helping out" their classmates.
Yep. Gotta get 'em young.
a stream of unconsciousness? are there any documented cases of 'sleep-typing'?
"Eli's hammer" should be renamed: "Eli's random phrase generator"…
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