Daily Gut: Fun With Marriage
by Greg GutfeldSo according to a French psychologist, the key to a healthy marriage is to cheat on your spouse. In her new book, “I’m A Chick in Glasses Who’s Completely Given Up,” Maryse Vallamt says that men shouldn’t be punished for cheating, and that women might find their mate’s infidelity “liberating.”
She also says men don’t cheat because they stopped loving their wives, but because they just need room to breathe – making me think the book must have been ghost written by Bill Clinton or Tiger Woods.
Anyway, she adds that forty percent of French men cheat (sometimes with cheese) and that infidelity is “inevitable.” In a beret-shaped nutshell – against such odds, why bother? The secret to a good marriage, is to make it a bad marriage!
Now, we need to put this in perspective. The author is French, so we know she has a funny accent. Also, she probably hasn’t seen a good film in years. But I wonder how she’d feel if I applied the logic to making French bread – and said that sometimes the dough doesn’t have to rise to make it edible. That makes the exact same sense as advocating pro-adultery marriage. It’s the product of relativism: remove standards, masquerade failure as success, and success will always be yours! As for those idiots left to defend monogamy, you only open yourself up for accusations of hypocrisy once you inevitably screw up. Come on: just say you never meant to be faithful, and you’re fine.
It’s an easy win for cads – getting a female shrink to agree with you. But poor Maryse. I’m sure her husband can’t wait for her book tour.
When the cat’s away, and all that.
And if you disagree with me, you’re probably a racist.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
71 Comments
If they want to cheat, why get married in the first place??? Whatever! I love people trying to change definitions… like marriage. (Where have I heard that from?)
Moral guidance from the French, not wise if you intend to stay married.
If the French are as boring in bed as they are on the screen, I'll ignore her advice. I walked the straight and narrow with my wife, if only out of self-preservation. If she had caught me cheating, and she would have (she's a criminalist), it would have been curtains. Only one punch was ever thrown in our marriage. She threw it, my kidney was sore for a week, and I deserved it. And that was only because I behaved badly by getting overly-tipsy at our first anniversary dinner and made a nasty remark at her expense. Imagine what would have happened if I'd cheated! At least she waited until the dinner guests had gone home to teach me my lesson.
Apparently, these people have never watched "Cheaters". Those marriages aren't gettin' any better, people.
I think the "completely given up" part of the book title is a pretty good giveaway that this woman is either incapable of fostering a healthy relationship or she has really poor taste in men (probably both). Either way, she's trying to give herself a passing grade for failure, as Greg stated. Heaven forbid she should have standards. And now she'll try to convince other women to try her losing strategy. And we see the French slide even further into irrelevancy.
I will never look at a croissant the same way again.
If my husband ever cheated on me, I'd liberate all his money from him.
Because some women are honorable, and some couples do marry for love and respect the marriage vows.
Anyone who contemplates marriage must contemplate the potential spouse's habits, character and values. Their own must also be considered, and compared.
This age does not encourage self-examination and careful thought; honor, valor and selflessness have suffered too. But all these are so essential to healthy and happy marriages.
gee… this may be the first time i disagree with you, greg. what's so terrible about facing reality? study after study has shown that some sixty-percent or more of men "cheat" and fewer but nearly as many women (apparently, not all extracurricular sex is with someone of the opposite sex, or there are some very busy women). couples have all sorts of 'arrangements' with each other, many couples are simply in denial or find that keeping secrets works best for them, some can't get enough of fidelity. some women think looking at porn on the computer is "cheating" (so what's a guy to do ?…we have needs!) doctors will tell you that the pipes need to be drained for optimal health but what works for me may not work for you. i don't see anything wrong with any of these approaches to being sexual in the world (just use a rubber unless you are alone, guys).. and i'm not even french!
Typical liberal doublespeak, eh?
SQT– think about what you wrote. She's French! While she may well have really poor taste in men, what does she have to choose from? Have pity on a girl (sarc off)
I appreciate your sentiment. I have met several wonderful women.
However, it is too risky to vest in any single person the power to deprive you of everything you have worked for. You wouldn't give a government official that power*, even if you and him (or her!) knew each other since elementary school, for fear that they would succumb to temptation and abuse it. Why give such power to a wife (which modern marriage does?)
I do not say this to insult you; I only say this to make my point.
* But see eminent domain.
l would think that the key to a healthy marriage in France would be that both parties agree to bathe more than their customary once a week.
Vive le Pepe Le Pew!
((Head slap)) What was I thinking?
In defense of Limburger (like the taste, when I can get past the odor), it is a product of Bavaria. Bavarian men treat their food with respect.
Love demands trust. Love, like trustworthiness, is never guaranteed. NOthing in life is (except death), but we can go into it with eyes wide open and mindful of the snares, and reduce the odds that something nasty will happen.
No insult taken.
You're lucky. There was a woman in my Criminalistics course who woke her husband up from a sound sleep by rapping insistently on the headboard with a basebal bat. HIS crime? Passing too much wind in bed.
While I disagree with your opinion on marriage (and I think it's safe to say my husband does too) I think the greater point of this post is that the author of the book is arguing that men are incapable of monogamy. I'm not invested in getting anyone to agree that the only monogamous relationships can occur in marriage. I just think claiming that men can't be faithful, therefore women should just give up, is lame. That's a loser's argument.
Your p.o.v. is interesting to me though. My husband works in finance managing retirement accounts for people and he deals with divorces on a regular basis. His experience is that it's usually the men who walk away (often for a younger model) and often have the advantage of higher income to hire good attorneys. I virtually never hear of the wives being the ones to walk away with more in the divorce.
I'm not trying to argue that men are worse than women (or vice versa). I'm just saying that both sides are equally capable of trying to screw over the other party. I'm sure most women could tell you stories, tit-for-tat, about the jerks in their lives for every bad experience you ever had. We all have 'em.
No worries, we often ascibe views/positions that at first seem reasonable, but upon further critical examination are obviously flawed..
I don't think the fact that Limburger cheese is German would stop a French man from cheating with it.
God help the country with lower moral standards than Greg Gutfield.
On second thought, God's probably already given up on that country and the fire and brimstone are already on the way… We should probably encourage people to move out of Paris. Maybe they can invade Berlin for an ironic twist.
Would an amorous Frenchie-Frenchman be deterred perhaps by a big Bavarian named Horst who did not like to see his cultural treasures degraded by mincy little surrender-monkeys?
Avec! Le skunk au peu!
I'm one of the normal ones as are plenty of my friends and relatives.
So, don't give up hope.
Sounds like a good woman
I always tell my husband, he never has to worry about divorce; he taught me how to shoot
Jaciscully: She is indeed. And a great mom and grandmother. We did pretty well, after all.
Bill Schultz is an androgynous asswipe.
"masquerade failure as success, and success will always be yours"
How many times, uh, uh, have we seen Barak, uh, Obama, uh, uh, do this? That's my name for him now. Barak, uh, Obama.
I can see, to an extent, where she seems to be coming from (haven't read the book after all) in as much as, while marriage makes a perfectly-fine social-arrangement, sexual-monogamy isn't something that really "works" for everybody, and that a good many relationships could likely be saved by people being honest with themselves and their partners about this and "freeing eachother up," as it were. (Incidentally, there's a statistic out there that says in the U.S. the majority of so-called "swingers" tend to be Republicans, which always struck me as both entirely sensible yet somehow funny…)
Given that, though, I'd have to take issue with the grammar here: If both parties are "okay" with it, it's not "cheating," no?
I was miserably married for five years, ten months, and twenty-seven days (But, who's counting?). I never cheated on her/she never cheated on me. I'm glad of that, and I can tell you cheating wouldn't have helped: We'd have been miserable together regardless. It was an opposites attract situation, which is interesting when you're dating, but that proved utterly unworkable in day-to-day life. Oh well. Live and learn.
Anyone who thinks cheating is the answer to anything in a marriage is morally insane. If your marriage is so bad you feel the need to cheat, put the marriage out of it's misery and get a divorce. Divorce is no picnic, but it's the lesser of two evils in that comparison. I'm the happiest divorced guy I know: I've been to hell, and I'll probably never go back. I haven't even bothered to date in over ten years.
I meet so many unhappy married people. Their biggest problem is that they are too cowardly to begin a divorce proceeding. At least when you admit defeat you're telling the truth. Cheating= lying; to yourself, your partner, and the other party involved.
Lol…never underestimate the depths to which a Frenchie-Frenchman might descend. And it is a plausible explanation for the odor of the cheese.
Then it's safe to call the French Infidelity Monkeys?
Oh, and in case anyone's counting, I've been happily and faithfully married for 25 years this September.
Once divorced twice shy I say.
If I ever get married again, it's til death do us part………………………………….even if I have to shoot her.
[...] more: Daily Gut: Fun With Marriage This entry is filed under America – Blogs, Big Hollywood. You can follow any responses to this [...]
Hahahahahahahahahahaha………
The women I know are armed and danged good shots. They play fair, and they expect the same in return. One young woman told her fiance that if he ever cheated on her, he would wake up singing soprano. That sort of thing helps keep priorities straight!
PLEASE tell me there are still normal people out there who marry, stay married and don't cheat! I'm so gun shy of relationships now.
she adds that forty percent of French men cheat (sometimes with cheese)
No wonder Limburger cheese smells so bad….
What I want to know is why any man in this day and age would get married at all, when he stands to lose his money, property, and children to a divorce initiated by the wife he thought "loved" him.
DTOM: Hmmm. Food for thought. Maybe that's where those later mysterious bruises on my back came from. LOL
Yes, there are certainly good men and I have one of them. There are times I would like to bonk him over the head with something, but I know he has felt the same about me (can't imagine why). No marriage is perfect, but neither are the people in it. I can't even dream of what it would be like if he were to leave this world before me. The French lady must be a very sad person. Where is the trust?
Oh, you all! That is just terrible!!! YUCK! (still laughing)
IMHO we are inundated with with sex in almost every aspect of our lives. From TV to movies to internet it's just there. Not only that, we are also a society that wants instant gratification. What a volatile mix! I have had several opportunities to cheat on my spouse but thank God I did not. Don't get me wrong, it was tempting. I tried to justify it in mind but could not. I believe my faith helped me. But I don't want to condemn others who have succmbed, because one could write several books on my failings.
Who cares? Marriage is for homos.
hay everybody good evening. I am blogger from indonesia
And don't forget his sidekick Robert um, uh, Gibbs, uh, um, uh.
So, the other 60 percent of the marriages are failures because they don't cheat? I have to also wonder how many of the 40 percent of cheating marriages last when the woman finds out.
The bacteria used to soften the cheese IS actually the very same which causes BO ("body odor", not "Barack Obama"). Couple this fact with the French aversion to daily bathing and we have something to ponder.
The bacteria used to soften the cheese IS actually the very same which causes BO ("body odor", not "Barack Obama"). Couple this fact with the French aversion to daily bathing and we have something to ponder.
Nothing is more important and valuable to me than my marriage. It is the greatest treasure of my life.
I would never violate her trust.
Good men are out there…
Got married at 21 and have been married for 6 years now and plan to stay that way. Not sure if that's "normal" but hey, I try
Connecting the dots, I personally think there is a strong correlation between bacteria and liberals. One softens cheese, the other softens America.
And Obama is, in my mind, a surrender-monkey regarding terrorism. I wonder what he would do if confronted by a big Bavarian named Horst?
He would bow to Horst, naturally.
No- wait. Germany is an ally. Obama would insult Horst personally from a safe distance. If Horst was a terrorist, he would woo him with the Joy Division known as Code Pink.
And yes, Liberals are cheesy.
P.S. We have been married 37 years.
That is a good start! Keep up the good work!
I love how the photo selected for this piece is of Bill Clinton. The man left office years ago.
Why not put a more current example of marital infidelity on your site like Republican Governor Mark Sanford?
Newt? Kind of did the exact same thing as Clinton.
What about Neil Bush? The Bush family name couldn't protect his love of South Asian whores.
Or perhaps you can go back a couple of years to Republican Senator Larry Craig who obviously was looking to cheat on his wife when he got caught in the men's room.
How about Republican Representative Bob Allen?
Republican Representative Ken Calvert?
Republican Representative Bob Barr?
The list goes on and on…
Mon ami!
Greg, you are extraordinarily insightful and funny — You should have your own show!
Bill Clinton looks like he's getting a thrill up his leg in that picture.
Predictions: Republicans will become more libertarian, Democrats will become more libertine.
After Obama's impeachment…….Democratic ticket will be Edwards/Spitzer in 2012
40% cheat, so, 60% don't, so, it's not inevitable, and why would she conclude that?
"Newt? Kind of did the exact same thing as Clinton. "
Newt kinda raped Juanita Broderick, do tell? As for Sanford he "cheated" in a more memorable way, with a gorgeous foreign bueaty from Argentina whom he could not resist and ended up getting caught by the flowery love letters. When the jig was up he copped to it and his wife threw him out on his rear thus he was properly punished for the crime of forbidden love. It striles ofairs of 15th century ramanticism.
As to Clinton he chased after and harassed almost every young girl that worked fo him, sought to destroy the girls lives to protect himself, had goon squads investigating him, lied about it to everyone, created a fiasco by not having the discretion to refrain while in the oval office, and one of the women (Juanita) in the NBC exclusive said while forcing himself on her he bit her drawing blood. There is a note in his had stating he was sorry and even NBC had to admit Mrs. Broderick;s timeline was not fabricated when they investigated it.
But hey the two are the same thing right? You libs crack me up with your lame attempts to justify yourselves.
It's a French thing.
I've been married now for 14 wonderful years to the best, most loving & caring man. Neither one of us would ever think of cheating. We trust each other completely. I can't imagine anyone thinking that cheating is good for a relationship.
Also, I've always wondered why people say men always cheat? After all, who are they cheating with? Unfortunately, I know of several marriages that ended because of infidelity. Of those, 75% were because the wives cheated, not the husbands..
Actually, as I read over Newt's history with women, I think his were even bigger offenses.
Let's recap:
1. married wife #1: his high school teacher (creepy)
2. begged for a divorce while she was being treated for cancer (what a guy)
3. married wife #2 just 6 months after divorcing first wife – which clearly means he was already involved with her
4. while married to wife #3, he started banging what would become wife #3.
5. Adulterous affair was going on as he was hypocritically asking for the impeachment of President Clinton.
You should check this out…
[...] Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless really worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms as well [...]……
Get your horse tack!…
Not sure if this is the right place (I’m not really good with computers), but left you a trackback for your readers, if they ever need some information about horse tack….
minecraft skins Thanks formerly writer for this online. I certainly dear every bit of it….
Thanks formerly writer for this online. I certainly dear every bit of it….
Potato And Leek Soup It’s a saving you don’t a distribute money switch! I’d definitely spring money for this howling webpage! That i assume for the example state i’ll be mitigated bookmarking unitedly with including an individual’s that gift my unexc…
It’s a saving you don’t a distribute money switch! I’d definitely spring money for this howling webpage! That i assume for the example state i’ll be mitigated bookmarking unitedly with including an individual’s that gift my unexcelled Msn equilibrate. …
herbal remedies Thanks many for intercourse this online. I certainly dear every bit of it….
Thanks many for intercourse this online. I certainly dear every bit of it….
puppy breeders The exemplar of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the need of limitations and ease of use that allows developers to compel prosperous thing and ‘skin’ the tract in much a way that with very minuscule sweat one would never not…
The exemplar of these blogging engines and CMS platforms is the need of limitations and ease of use that allows developers to compel prosperous thing and ‘skin’ the tract in much a way that with very minuscule sweat one would never note what it is maki…
You must be logged in to post a comment.