Daily Gut: Our 600th Show
by Greg GutfeldSo tonight`s show is Red Eye`s 600th.
And that’s kind of amazing. I`ve never done 600 of anything – and that includes reverse tricep curls (which I invented, by the by). But from the day we began, on February 5th, 2007 to tonight –we`ve witnessed some pretty amazing events. And thankfully, Red Eye was there to cover them – when no one else would.
–
I mean, who can forget the dog that barked like a cat? It was the story Katie Couric wouldn`t touch – but we were there – covering the dog that barked like a cat.
And what of our in-depth coverage of John McCain`s election sweaters? While everyone else focused on irrelevant issues, we asked the tough questions about those ugly sweaters.
Hell, while people chose to examine Barack Obama’s qualifications, we were the first show to reveal startling photos of an octopus that could open beer bottles with its tentacles. You tell me: what`s more important, now?
And then there was the man who had sex with a table. And the man who had sex with a car. And the man who had sex with balloons. Whenever a man was having sex with an inanimate object, Red Eye was there to bear witness. And sometimes take pictures.
And who can forget the nude car thief, the nude ice skater, and the nude rambler? When it came to stories about nude people doing things nude, Red Eye was the go-to source. If there were a Pulitzer for the perverse, we would have won that trophy. And ended up in the ER, trying to get it removed.
Of course, we covered bigger stories, and at times we were way ahead of the pack – the piece on the German underwear thief springs to mind – but I prefer that Red Eye not take itself too seriously on this momentous occasion. Instead, I would rather salute all our amazing fans, who stood by this unusual little show – when everyone else just stared at it, confused – or ran screaming.
You deserve the congratulations – not us.
And if you disagree with me, you`re probably a racist Nazi who`s worse than Hitler.
TONIGHT: We’ve got a great show!
Alison Brie from Mad Men and Community!
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66 Comments
Congrats, Gregg, I lift my glass in celebration to this and 600 more. And if you won't-you're probably a …
Not for a second do I believe you haven't masturbated 600 times!
/snarc
Congratulations Greg! I stumbled on your show about a year after your launched and have been a great fan since. You make my life better by giving me comedy that is truly funny, not just distorting reality to make a joke like so many comics do.
I believe I've only seen the last 100 but hey, I'll celebrate all 600 with you. It is the only show I watch all week that I have never seen live, only DVRed. I have often wondered how it would fair in a different time slot but then again, it wouldn't be Red Eye. Congrats to you all and keep up the funny work! I'm always looking forward to your ever expanding line up of guests.
That's just gross.
I know, I'm hoping it makes him laugh.
If Red Eye was a crashing train, I'ld stay up till 4:00 a.m. just to watch it go off the tracks!
Red Eye is so synonomous with fecal matter, that having "Pink Eye" is now referred to as having "Red Eye".
Red Eye is so hot, that the wet spot in the seat of fat men's pants on a humid day in August is now referred to as Red Eye.
Love the show Greg, you and the whole gang are great. Keep up the high level of low-brow humor!
Wow, incredible! 600, and you're not in syndication on Nick at Night yet?
I notice, Greg-meister, that you put the hottie guest with the nice legs in the foreground chair. Excellent! Keep up the good work.
By the way, how can I become a guest guest on the show?
For the love of God®, and those of us that don't have TiVo® or DVR®, why can't Fox put Red Eye on earlier? I mean, I appreciate seeing Greta Van Susteren and Bill O'Reilly repeated two or three times before you come on, but it's ridiculous to have to wait until 2 am (in my case) to watch it.
I'm sure this has been brought up at least 600 times, so maybe as a gift to you on making it so far, how about letting Fox know I don't watch Letterman, the Albino, the former SNL hack, or anyone else, but I would watch Red Eye if it were on sometime earlier.
Oh yeah, grats on 600.
Now that's a faggot we can all believe in!
Cheers! We will be there Greg!
Long live Oderus!
Greg,
Great! Congrats. Love the show.
Now, all your viewers, let's all further celebrate and take all we've learned from the show and become conservative Republican Party precinct committeeman. And DO SOMETHING that will actually affect the outcome of the 2010 elections.
Go here to learn more: http://www.theprecinctproject.wordpress.com
PCs get to vote for the leadership of the Party and help determine, my majority vote, which candidates get the endorsement of the Party in the Republican primary races. Only takes a few hours of time a month. With half the PC slots in the Party nationwide vacant, and with a fifty-fifty split right now between conservatives and moderate RINOs in the PC ranks, the Party is there for the taking by conservatives/libertarians if we'd all just get off our duffs and get to a meeting of the local GOP and volunteer to become a PC. Want to save your country? Then invigorate the "main enemy" of the Debtocrat/Socialist Party with your presence.
(By the way, half of the Party leadership, the moderates, DON'T WANT YOU TO BECOME A PC, BECAUSE THEY AND THEIR RINO CRONIES WILL GET VOTED OUT OF THE LEADERSHIP — THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT THIS BASIC CIVICS.)
Becoming a PC should be every conservative's first priority. Blogging and carrying a sign at a Tea Party or attending a town hall is great, but unless we have better leadership and candidates in the main adversary party, the Debtocrats will get returned to power. It's all about the Constitution and all about winning the elections. The best way to restore the Constitution and to have better candidates who respect the Constitution is to join the Republican Party at the grass roots and make it happen. It's a numbers game. The more conservatives we have in the Party in the precinct committeemen ranks, the more likely it will be that we'll get better elected leadership within the Party and in the general elections. Michael Steele was elected not by registered Republicans but by the precinct committeemen in all fifty states.
Also, you can go to http://www.redstate.com to learn more, too. Just type in the words precinct and committeeman into the search pane and hit the search button and links to a lot of good info will be presented too you.
Thank you.
Cold Warrior
I am only one. But I am a conservative Republican precinct committeeman and desperately trying to get other Constitution-loving conservatives and libertarians to do the same.
Congrats Gutty, old bean. The critics said you would last past 599 shows, guess you showed them, eh ? Now if you could do something about Schulz's hair….
Congratulations Glen. Maybe for this historic landmark you can again mock Canada's role in Afghanistan.
Sorry, make that Greg.
Greg, I was disheartened the other night to hear that you are married. I had wondered all this time what your predilection was really for and found you incredibly sexy because I never knew quite where you stood. One night I would be left thinking you were interested in various sundry animals that appear in video montage on your show, while other nights I was pretty sure you swung with the NAMBLA-esqe sort of crowd who preferred their prey to be shirtless and over the age of 18, all the while I was getting this sexy straight guy vibe that always melded into sexy gay guy vibe. It must have been my ADD that found you most attractive as I look back on all that you have been to me. Sadly, my crush has been crushed by your ordinary-ness. But hey, all that aside…congrats on the anniversary!
Even worse…it'll probably turn Bill on!
congratulations to another braying donkey on FoxNews.
Congrats Greg, Bill & Andy! I love the show! Keep up the good work!
Absurdium Continuim. Congrats on 600 Greg to you and your Crew. Love this absurd show, love the aburd time slot. Only time of the day most of the stuff can be funny but when it is , it really is.
Hee-Haw! Heee-Hawww!!!
I still stare, confused. But Red Eye's different — and funny! Congrats!
Well, you still have Bill.
Wow – 600 episodes! Amazing! I don't think I have ever missed an episode. I DVR them – I am in the midwest and I have a job that requires me to be there in the morning – and awake! Even if I have 5 on the DVR, I will watch each and every one!
Red Eye is truly unique and so much fun – I don't really even watch the news, so it is really funny to me when I do catch the news and see your guests doing their day job. You really let us get to know them in a way we never would otherwise.
Thanks for putting on such a fun show!
If they were on any earlier, they could not be as irreverent – they are like Fox's naughty secret.
I'm pretty sure he's a Republican.
An apology was requested and one was provided. I suggest you MoveOn.
Congrats Greg.
Now, can you please make Julie Banderas a regular?
Actually, they did used to be in a different time slot — the whoppingly better slot of 2 am! (At least on the east coast — and now they're on at 3 over here. But I believe in the midwest they're still still on at 2.) I don't have Tivo or anything, but I do have the honor of having a night job, so I usually have the pleasure of watching it "live" (even though I'm sure they tape earlier).
Keep up the great work, guys, it's the only thing to watch at that time!
I suggest that in the future Greg does a little research before he opens his big stupid mouth.
I thought it only *felt* like 600 episodes. Seriously, Greg, you don't look a day over 587.
I don't know Alison Brie, but with a name like Alison Brie . . . she's got to be hot. Check it out, check it outers!
Nah, the donkey's with the houseboys in the basement. And wearing a shorty robe.
You've really got to watch the show more if you want to avoid coming off as so far out of the loop.
I disagree. I think they should be on even later! Muhahahahahahah!!!
…Oh wait……
right after you wrote that…601.
why just the one red eye? hmmmmm?
I would suggest that Greg do a little research before he opens his big stupid mouth. He knew he'd be discussing it before he went on air. He could have at least asked a staffer to check and see what the Canadian military was doing in Afghanistan. I think Canada lost 4 soldiers the same day. Nice timing.
Furthermore, I don't accept his apology. It was only made after the Canadian government contacted FoxNews and demanded one and then he only issued a statement. Not very heartfelt.
Whatever that means
Half way to 1200…………………………………keep up the good work. And keep putting pretty girl's on your show………………….dudes dig that……………
Oh Red Eye, you have done so much more for me than nude people doing nude things and inanimate objects sex (not that I'm complaining mind you).
You introduced me to Rep. McCotter and other politicians who really could lead this country in a good direction with real change, and real common sense.
You also confirmed something very important, that Conservatives can be funny, creative, sexy, smart and dare I say it…hip.
I am so happy I discovered Red Eye and I wish you 600 more episodes!
Keep up the good work-may the next 600 be as surreal & nude as the first. Have Glenn Beck on again sometime too!
Congratulations Greg, Andy, Bill and crew!
Love your Mom, she is so cute and I agree with her agreeable opinions.
We are BIG FANS of your Ombudsman Andy.
Hi Andy!!
He has houseboys to do that for him.
600 episodes of houseboy jokes, Gregalogues, and even an occasional introduction of mine read on the show.
This show could be prime-time if it wanted to be, but watching it live at 3 am on the East Coast adds to the absurdity. And it would still smoke MSNBC.
Congrats.
LOL! What? LOL!
And more Mike Baker… just… GUH.
*MissQuinn*
translation-you are stupid, and creamofthecrop is cool. Whats so hard about it?
Congrats to all. Love ya.
Congratulations Greg, I have been a closet Red Eye fan for some time. Ok well maybe a little more open than that – but don't hold my hand when we are together!
Good job – keep them coming!
No Lil'Jimmy Norton on t anniversary show? No Anthony Cumia? You, sir ,are worse than a nonprofit formerly-government-affiliated community organizer.
Congratualtions!
FoxNews and everyone on it is a joke.
Congratulations Greg! I didn't know what to make of the show when it debuted, but I stuck with it, and I am all the better for it. Continued success, my man!
Oh, and for those who think Fox News and everyone on it is stupid, there are plenty of other programs available on the airwaves. Ask your mommies if it's okay to change the channel.
With each hand, and using both feet.
I call BS on the timing argument:
News of the Canadian soldiers reached North America March 20th.
The Red Eye episode in question aired March 17th.
Do some research of your own before you open your goddamn mouth.
That topic is being saved for show # 700
HEAD'S UP DISPLAY OF PROPER RESPONSE CHOICES TO QUERY:
1. Bush is Hitler
2. White people are racist.
3. FOXNEWS AND EVERYONE ON IT IS A JOKE.
4. Hope and change.
RESPONSE NUMBER 3 CHOSEN… ALL HAIL OBAMA
**scuse me all, just having a Teminator No. 1 moment**
it's a Terminator thing.
Well until I went to Maine on vacation and it was on the hotel TV I'd never really seen FoxNews. I'd seen lots of clips on their website and on YouTube but never really seen the network. While channel surfing over a few days I was treated to Neil Cavuto screaming at and cutting off a guest, Bill O'Reilly yelling at or cutting off a guest, Glen Beck's lip quivering while saying he was afraid and the three stooges in the morning pretty much spending most of their air time, attacking anything and everything that in any way they could link to the President. Yeah, it's some real high brow stuff going on over there. People like you deserve it.
for a moment there, I thought you where describing any random episode of The View, except for the one where they were all practically blowing candidate BO.
Yes, me evil caveman. me stoopid and racist. me yell at top of my lungs at moon cause it's not white enough. Me deserve talking down to by smart gods like you since me no get tingles in leg when BO talk. me deserve to be ridiculed by GEICO.
I never said anyone was racist but you in particular sure sound stupid.
If so it doen't matter. He's still a jackass for mocking Canada's involvement.
At any rate do you honestly think that big mouthed clown would have known that Canadians had been killed. He didn't even know what they did over there and FoxNews never covers Canadian casualties.
I know so, moron.
great comeback. go sit beside greg.
Have a nice day, anonymous troll!
Go sit in Obama's lap, you little rebel.
What does any of this have to do with Obama. Talk about a one track half a mind.
awww isn't that cute? this stoopid caveman upset the average little boy.
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