Daily Gut: The First National Single Cougars Convention
by Greg GutfeldSo the first National Single Cougars Convention took place last week in Palo Alto, California–and it featured lectures on the “positive aspects of dating younger men.” It also offered opportunities for the older ladies to mingle with young male flesh–all without the annoying claws of commitment. For the women, they felt desired. For the dudes, they got lucky without paying for drinks.
Now to me, this whole cougar thing is a fabricated farce. My guess: it began as a media trend invented by female reporters as a way to comp their drinks. They could go out to bars, get picked up by dudes, and then write it all off as a business expense. And so it became a phony trend, just like “push presents” for pregnant women, key parties for swingers, bird flu for alarmists, and global warming for jackasses.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with older ladies having sex with young dudes–but don’t for a minute mistake it for “empowerment.” The title “cougar” insinuates that these older ladies are predators hunting for young men–when in fact–there is no hunting at all. Men are easy–and they’ll gladly pretend it was your idea if it means they get to see you naked. That’s the basic crux behind feminism, after all.
But the bottom line is, once “cougarism” or any lifestyle behavior requires its own convention—you’re pretty damn sure it’s a sad way to think of yourself.
Which is why I’m no longer a trekkie.
And if you disagree with me, then you’re probably a racist.
Tonight we’ve got two Andrews:
Andrew W.K.
Andrew Breitbart
plus:
Congressman McCotter!
and the delightful Remi Spencer!
Plus: if my mom’s awake….my mom!
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108 Comments
That's your problem, Greggie-poo, you're a "trekkie" not a trekker, and that ain't racial, just attitude, dude.
Cougar: Because 'horny old lady' is politically incorrect.
Damn Greg, and we had’em thinking we were helpless sex slaves, now you’ve let the cat out of the bag.
Anne Bancroft is unbelievably sexy in that photo… Very "cougarable" — which, if it isn't a word, should be.
I'm guessing nothing even close showed up at the convention.
The ones at the convention probably looked more like Cruella Deville.
I demand a Top 5 of "cougarable" women.
At the time, Hoffman was almost 30 (portraying 22) and Bancroft 38.
38, these days, is a kid.
Yeah.. .way to ruin it for the rest of us, Greggie!!!
Your man-card is officially revoked now 
Mrs Gutfeld rawks, rocks, rahhhhhks, and is just, uh, really cool.
Is it cool or sad that I know, like you, the difference?
Lynda Carter
Loni Anderson
Raquel Welch
Ann-Margret
That hot older women who sits a few pews in front of me at Church on Sunday
1. Tina Turner – circa the 1987 Rio Tour
2. Cyd Charisse — circa "Silk Stockings"
3. Pam Grier – circa "Above the Law"
4. Ann Bancroft – circa the photo above
5. Michelle Pfeiffer – circa whenever she realizes I only want to take care of her and lifts the restraining order
My life was destroyed by a cougar, though I will spare you the sordid details.
The experience was indelible. I have never been able to forget it and am afraid that it might have evolved into a fetish. Can you please direct me to the web site that provides the next convention date and time?
Ann-Margret circa "Viva Las Vegas" was too young to be a cougarable, but not sell-your-soul-able… No, not at all.
Nerd alert!!
Seek help now!
Any list without Morgan Fairchild on it is junk…
Extremely fine desirable junk, but still junky…
May the Great State of Texas continue to crank 'em out….
Men liking cougars is no trend; it requires quite a bit of plastic surgery for a middle-aged woman to look like a 25-year-old, and the results can be sordid. If women actually believe the lie that they can stay sexual bombshells at 45, then I feel sorry for them. The "successful" cougars have the money to pull it off, and will probably grow bored of their "boy-toys" (who are probably desperate men) anyway.
I need clarification. How many years older do you have to be to fall into "cougar category?" Just askin?
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Had to go with my teen age crushes. The last one I pulled out of my ass.
It is.:)
Just another female empowerment thing, sort of a 80 is the new 60 or something like that. How about a couple old Dallas alums; Victoria Principal and Morgan Britteny? And how could we forget Heather Locklear?
Just another female empowerment thing, sort of a 80 is the new 60 thing or something like that. How about a couple old Dallas alums; Victoria Principal and Morgan Britteny? And how could we forget Heather Locklear?
Don't know about that; it sounds pretty good, BUT…
"The title “cougar” insinuates that these older ladies are predators hunting for young men–when in fact–there is no hunting at all. Men are easy–and they’ll gladly pretend it was your idea if it means they get to see you naked."
Which is much more true. Basal behavior, but true.
How about Cindy Morgan!
http://bighollywood.breitbart.com/cftoto/2009/09/...
I loved older women when I was in my mid to late 20's. They knew what they were out for, and it wasn't empowerment. It was a good time. I was happy to oblige. Plus I didn't have to pay for much. Which helped because I didn't have much.
You're right! I tell my female friends that any guy will sit through a Julia Roberts movie if he thinks he'll get lucky.
You're right! I tell my female friends that any guy will sit through a Julia Roberts movie marathon if he thinks he'll get lucky.
You're right! I tell my female friends that any guy will sit through a Julia Roberts movie marathon if he thinks he'll get lucky. It's not rocket science.
What's that old ditty about Cougars "They're grateful as hell and They don't swell" There's something very comforting in that thought . Don't you think.
"if you disagree with me you're probably a racist" <—– made me choke on my ice water! Can't breathe!
Every posting at Big Hollywood should end with this sentence!!
Here, here!
I was thinking that having some of my favorite older women (Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Hillary Clinton, et.al.) meet a real cougar would be enlightening…but then I realized PETA would be all over me like white on rice.
But I'm no racist…I like brown and wild rice as well!
yeah, right. We're all buyin' that.
My husband confessed to me that he had wicked thoughts about being tied up with Wonder Woman's golden lasso. I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that was (or is) a pretty common fantasy among the males here?
I think the United States needs to mint another commemorative coin in celebration of the sexually aggressive older woman.
We could call it the Cougerrand.
The woman has to feel like she's hunting and conquesting in order not to feel taken advantage of. Which, if she's paying for everything, she kinda is. (Not that anyone feels sorry for her!)
That's horrible. Yuck.
LoL. DTOM Sorry no offense just trying to put a positive spin on it.
What the hell is wrong with you? You want to put a positive spin on, you say things like "exuberant sex with a woman who knows what she's doing" or "guilt-free sex with a woman who bought me dinner and lots of drinks", or "sex with a woman who didn't want me to call her the next day"… C'mon, man!!!!!!!
(Women always have to do a man's best thinking for him!)
Andrew W.K. ???
Andrew wice klay ?
Andrew Who Kould ?
Andrew Why Komplain ?
Andrew Who Knew ………….
What? I'm asking a genuine question. How many years' difference does there need to be between a man and a woman for the woman to be considered a cougar? Likewise, how many years older does a man need to be before he's considered a "cradle-robbing old fart"?
I would guess 15-20 range? I think the age range is really locked in when if you're doing it you think about the age difference, so if you feel weird doing it you're locked into cougar range.
I want to take this opportunity to let the air out of the tires on this cougar thing. Picture Nancy Pelosi, Barbra Boxer and Helen Thomas as cougars.
W.K., Breitbart, McCotter….and Remi??? Grrrr on you, Mr. Gutfeld. Now I'll have to endure that woman to enjoy an otherwise star line-up.
Oh lord. [[[shudder]]]
LAWD. Did we wander off into a Geico "Caveman" commercial, or what?
No comment.
Thank you from saving me from myself. It was a moment of madness. I'm back on track now. Virtue is Triumphant. Yours of course.
I dunno, but Madonna's so easy even a caveman could do her.
Photos available here: http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2009/08/hello...
They all seem…puffy.
I like how Glenn Beck has movies categorized into "laser movies" (stuff guys like with lasers and explosions and fistfights and car chases; easy on the dialogue and plotlines) and "bonnet movies" (big on costumes and dialogue and feelings and drama- pretty skimpy on action.)
Glenn has a bonnet/laser movie ratiohe suggests for guys who are dating. Something like: you have to endure 4 bonnet movies to every 1 laser movie your date watches in order to get the dating to progress.
Well yeah. But she's an aberration.
Yeah thanks Dude. I will have nightmares for a week after envisioning those three "cougars." LOL!
Is it "aberration" or "abomination"? I always get those confused.
Oh well- we can just say "skank".
Madonna falls more into the allycat with ringworm catagory of feline…
Me-OWWWWWWW!!!!
I will volunteer to be T McCott's cougar….REEEEEEEERRRRRR!
Bless your heart for saying that…:)
I don't think six years is a wide enough gap. I'm three years older than hubby and that's nothing. I had an aunt that was 20 years older than her husband– now that's cougar material. She outlived him if you can believe that and they were very, very happy. You just never know.
Ugh, me either. Blech.
But when will Patti Ann return with "the dress"?
Um, three. If you're a 15-ywear-old guy.
Um, three. If you're a 15-year-old guy.
"Ringworm". You're so charitable. I would've guessed distemper and whatever it is that makes pets do "the tricycle manuever" across the floor.
Cougar: That was so one year ago…. I predict it will go the way of My Space and, now, Facebook.
I sat through "The Bachelor". Talk about hell.
I can't get enough of Thaddeus McCotter or Andrew Breitbart. Both are inspirations to me, both are bold fresh conservatives. Now I've got to stay up to watch them. I would love to see McCotter debate Obama or Bidien. He would make hambuger meat out of both. Thaddeus was great with Chris Matthews. It was like taking candy from a baby. Of course Matthews's IQ is about 60.
If Andrew W. K. is Klaven, then I'm in for a real treat.
In Flamingo Row – "I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW!!"
Personally to me fake boobs, older women with tightened faces all turn me off, as the near 80 year old woman I saw in Palm Springs in a bikini and skin so brown, wrinkled and leathery I still have nightmares about it
A woman who has a few wrinkles but is confident of herself is fine by me.
I think for males and females attitude is a bit part of sex appeal.
At least that's my opinion.
Personally to me fake boobs, older women with tightened faces all turn me off, as the near 80 year old woman I saw in Palm Springs in a bikini and skin so brown, wrinkled and leathery I still have nightmares about it
A woman who has a few wrinkles but is confident of herself is fine by me. Sophia Loren is the prototype.
I think for males and females attitude is a bit part of sex appeal.
At least that's my opinion.
No way! It's here to stay; just as the term "metro-sexual" will stand the test of time.
Seriously though, I almost pity the people who have to add that crap to new editions of dictionaries.
LOL Todd, I had to endure "Dancing With The Stars, & "American Idol."
so funny…. thanks : )
Lets be honest. Older women are hot.. some of them anyway. Elvira (Cassandra Peterson?) is still pretty damn hot. Jane Fonda makes me run for the nearest torch to chase the troll back under the bridge.
I think none other than Ben Franklin started that – or something similar.
I'm a middle-aged man who likes younger girls in their 20s. I'm a Cheetah.
Did it ever occur to you that this cougar phenomenon may have a beneficial effect on society? Think for a moment, there is logic in this. It may take potential male child predators off the street because they'll be the prey of these older women. No more cases like that horrifying Phil Garriddo incident.
Well, dayum. I guess I'm safe then. Only six years older than the hubby, and he's always been into older women, and I'm not feeling "weird" and didn't pick him up at a convention. Thanks.
"But the bottom line is, once “cougarism” or any lifestyle behavior requires its own convention—you’re pretty damn sure it’s a sad way to think of yourself."
Does this mean there won't ever be a "Red Eye" convention?
I'll take just one, if that's what you mean.;)
Yeah. There are some nice younger men. I wouldn't put Madonna's man "Jesus" or Demi's Asston Koocher on my dance card.
Men, men, men…why are you all assuming that the cougars are the predatory ones? Believe it or not, there are plenty of cubs in hot pursuit and it gets annoying especially when one is married….
Well, if women in their 30s-50s are Cougars (well, a subset), what are the ones in their 70s? Sophia Loren is still hot. Saw her in Arabesque and in her 40s she was……..
No – but Tina Louise from Gulligan's Island in that evening dress (without getting dirty on that island for years) – wait I suppose in the 60s she wasn't a Cougar! WW never did anything for me – but Jackqueline Bissett!!!! Ann Margret – man in "Grumpy Old men!!!! – she was hot….
Dang, man. When is your lady friend getting out of jail?
We used to have a name for guys like you.
"Lucky"…
"…whatever it is that makes pets do "the tricycle manuever" across the floor."
I think that's called shag carpeting.
I hate to break this to you, but your husband's a freak. BEING tied up isn't really that common a male fantasy.
For me, it was "I Dream of Jeannie" and Mary Anne from Gilligan's Island. Maybe a little duct tape, but only if absolutely necessary…
I'm familiar with it.
Mary Ann.
……. definitely
Dude…….
a Julia "f*ckin Roberts movie!?!?!
no woman, fantasy or otherwise, is worth that descent into hell. Well, ……..maybe one.
and she'd better be paying.
Extraordinarily difficult to beat Sophia Loren. All the rest pale, by comparison.
Not so easy to confirm a Cougar engagement. Often subtle wordplay such as "Oh that, that's just my medicine cabinet, I got your entertainment center right here" will give one away.
I think my tire is permanently deflated.
The wholesome and very hot Mary Ann definitely, and you would get a nice slice of pie with her. If that doesn't convince you, Ginger is probably your typical Hollywood liberal Democrat.
I love the media double standard on the whole cougar thing. Older women after younger men — good. Older men after younger ladies are dirty perverts.
What does that mean for us who went to the University of Houston? Our mascot is a dirty ol' slut?
Say it ain't so…
Ditto Mamie Van Doren, even though it's all fake. But, how about Olivia Newton John…
Metro-sexuals: They're funny. Not funny, ha-ha.
Hey, back in the day the statute here expressly applied only to girls
Well….there is one thing. The younger lady could have a child, the older woman will not. With the cougar, it is just between consenting adults, with the older man, it could end up with more.
For those who don't know Puma=woman in her thirties that goes with men in their 20's, Cougar= woman 40+ who goes after younger men.
Being a potential cougar, I think the whole idea is pretty stupid. It is a method of recapturing youth instead of growing old gracefully…..
How can we believe anything Obama says to our children when he won't reveal his on school records? Obama, show us your school records and we will decide if you can speak to our kids!
Come on cougars or what ever you call yourself. Get a life.
i'll allow that a rim shot…
"If women actually believe the lie that they can stay sexual bombshells at 45, then I feel sorry for them."
You make it sound like there are no bombshells at that age.
Two words: Sarah Palin.
Madonna could be an attractive cougar, were it not for the fact that her OB/GYN needs to wear a hazmat suit on her appointments.
Candy Samples, back in the early 70's. If you understand that reference, you're as hopeless as I am.
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