G.I. Joe’s Benetton Moment
by Greg GutfeldSo the latest GI Joe flick is creating controversy, because the character is no longer portrayed as a typical American soldier. Instead he’s part of some elite murky force of international fighters – a Benetton ad with rocket launchers. On MSNBC, Donny Deutsch tried to take John J. Miller to task over his objections to the change – pointing out that the shift from an iconic American character to a mushy international delight is a “business” decision. For the movie to make money internationally, Donny thinks the character has to become part of global task force of community organizers. To this, I say, “Fiddle faddle,” which is short for “Silly stupid fiddle faddle.”
I wrote about this two years ago, just when Hasbro and Paramount execs decided to give GI Joe a makeover. Back then they felt the world would be too pissed at us for getting rid of Saddam Hussein to go see a movie about an American hero. As it turns out, they were wrong – the backlash over Saddam’s death had less impact than Norman Fell’s.
But for a moment, let’s attempt to use Donny’s logic on other flicks. “Sex and the City,” my favorite film – made a pile of money around the world, and it was about five American chicks exercising their rights to both unfettered capitalism and sex. According to Deutsch, it would have been better to make them all multi-racial, transgendered dolphins – and stationed them in Brussels in a cool undersea condo shaped like Earth. Granted, that does sound awesome – but it probably would have been less successful than the original concept (which made me cry).
Fact is, our mainstream media feels awkward about anything “American,” and finds the idea of an international force (made up of everybody!) stamping out evil far more palatable than America running the show. But hey, that fantasy doesn’t exist – and if it ever did, Americans would have to run it.
The ugly truth: the world loves America more than MSNBC talking heads are willing to admit. And they like our heroes even more: our Rambos, John McClanes, Supermans, Dirty Harrys and Charlotte Yorks. We make great heroes, because our country is full of them.
Unlike MSNBC.
They’re just full of it.
Tonight we’ve got: Congressman Thaddeus McCotter, comedian Paul Mercurio and Patti Ann Browne. Plus more junk!
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
111 Comments
Hey man, I WEPT the day Norman Fell passed.
OK, not wept, but I felt bad for the rest of the day!
Actually, considering how terrible most Hollywood movies are lately, maybe it's a good thing not to hang it around America's neck.
Nothing against the late Mr. Fell, but I have a whole closet full of Norman Fell underoos. When he comes back into fashion, I'm going to make a killing!
You'd think ideology (The Chursch of Obama) based on imagery (ie: smoke and mirrors) would defend 'Americanism' since soon we will have nothing left to offer to the world.
And yes, the passing of Normal Fell grieved all of us…
Same here, mojoe224. Me, too. The world's greatest portrayal of Zeus and thanks for picking at that scab, Gutfeld.
To the larger picture, American exceptionalism: get over it, world (and MSNBC). We rock and there's no denying it no matter how hard they try to tear us down.
YAY… love you Gutfield, you ole jew commie leprachaun! …. just kidding about the jew commie part, but i stand by the rest!
Whoever is playing The Baroness is completely smokin'. I guess that means I'm rooting for…COBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I had to say it.
Sienna Miller
This blog feigned a pretty big stink when The Hurt Locker didn't portray American soldiers in they way they wanted. The big question I have for you guys is, When will you be satisfied? (Short answer: never). If the characters in GI Joe were decked out in American uniforms, you'd guys still complain. Hey, these ninja soldiers aren't pulling vaguely Arab children out of rubble in between absurd stunts! What a vicious portrayal!
I won't see it because it looks silly, not because of a non-issue with the character's costumes.
I agree with EPorvaznik.
America. F-Yeah!!!
Well, we can at least de-fund this fictional UN by staying home and not giving it our money.
Charlotte York beats Megan Fox any day
I only wish she would keep the "Boris and Natasha" accent she had in the cartoon.
I gotta agree with you, she ain't half bad.
my guess is that if GI fails to make money… it has more to do with the fact that it just sucks than something so abstact as the team's legal & financial underpinnings.
I mean its frickin' GI Joe for sakes. A bunch of action dudes kicking bad guy a$$. I think a lot of people will be able to just pretend that the Joes are American (which everyone *really knows*) and enjoy it (or not) all the same anyway.
my guess is that if GI Joe fails to make money… it has more to do with the fact that it just sucks than something so abstact as the team's legal & financial underpinnings.
I mean its frickin' GI Joe for sakes. A bunch of action dudes kicking bad guy a$$. I think a lot of people will be able to just pretend that the Joes are American (which everyone *really knows*) and enjoy it (or not) all the same anyway.
So why not call it "G. I. José"?
or "G. I. Jacques"?
or "G. I. Josef"?
or G. I. Gee your hair smells terrific."?
Just asking.
Yeah, American Exceptionalism. It's not like Leone and Kurosawa saw anything in our films and culture worth assimilating.
Norman Fell passed away? (choke) Excuse me a moment, I'm feeling a little verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves.
The world laps up American culture and American values, always has, always will. Are you kidding me?
I used to be told by liberals that it was sad the world consumed American culture, MTV, denim, pop music, McDonalds……now I'm told the world never buys American culture? Nice try liberals, we are not that stupid to believe your lies on this one.
Lemme guess the topic, Aaron: The soldiers in the G.I. Joe movie are neither “Real American Heroes” nor worth seeing – Discuss?
I have to be fully honest here and state I didn't even know about, let alone feel bad about Mr. Fell's passing.
Marvel's Avengers became an international U.N. type organization a few years ago. Why should America have all the super hero's? Oh, yeah . . . because we created them.
Belgium has Tin Tin, America has Spiderman, Thundera has the Thundercats.
RIP – Norman Fell
Note: Akira, which obviously takes place in Japan is being remade by Leo DiCaprio and it will take place in NYC. Alert Donnie Deutch.
I think M.S.N.B.C.'s Donny Douche would respond by telling you (regardless of how clueless he is) the world loves hot, Manhatten liberal chicks, but hates American G.I. Joe's. ( you know, Donny, remember, the ones who liberated Europe from Nazi Germany) . . . . "Oh those Joe's, heck he thought you were talking about Morning Joe, their 'token' person from the right of hard left."
What's wrong with being American?
America has a long history of standing up for the underdog.
Can colonial Europe say that?
Can communist Russia say that?
Can the boorish middle east say that?
Nope.
i live in the uk and the song on the trailer is American badass
If i remember correctly, the first Spiderman movie ended with him clinging to an enormous flagpole on top of some skyscraper with Old Glory waving all big and proud. Didn't that movie make something like 750 trillion?
Miller should have rebutted to Douche's (sorry, can't help but call him that) comment about "never" being able to make a Captain America movie. He's wrong. It's currently in pre-production with a release date of July 2011.
I personally can't wait for this movie. It looks like a big-budget summer blockbuster, which is what I like. I'm a fan of the cartoon and comic book series, both past and current. I wonder though if people criticizing this realize this is based on what started in 1982 and not the toy from 1964. G.I. Joe isn't a GUY, it's a team. The team has always been a mix of different personalities and characters. Sure the team is also American and it seems like that is being downplayed in the movie and I wish it had more of an American stamp on it. Still, it looks like so much fun I can't resist it.
Leftists mourn all things that make America great – they have no desire to see a strong USA.
Conservatives celebrate all things American. They know America is great, and that it will prevail – even over the leftists.
Really? That's really weird…I loved Akira but I don't think I want to see it if that guy has anything to do with it.
Leo is producing it and of course he cast himself.
You think that's bad, I cried like a baby the day Abe Vigoda died… Oh Fish, how we hardly knew ye!
There is an anime GI JOE movie that blows any other adaptation away. Try to find it on the web somewhere, its worth it. It is a bit more grown up but stays true to the 80's vision.
Hey, you forgot to mention that the pretty boy star is a really good dancer.
Abe Vigoda is not dead.
I remember when they came out with the "Black Gi Joe".
I remember saying, "what's next…a black President Kennedy?" Little did I know.
I've never been a fan of the anime style. Is it G.I. Joe: Resolution? The one that Adult Swim aired a few months ago?
This movie looks like so much crap I'm actually glad it has nothing to do with our military.
Imshalla, we shall avenge the martyrdom of Mr. Roper.
I wonder if a film adaptation of "Combat" is in the works. I would cast Jude Law as a sensitive and articulate "Sgt. Trevor Saunders" leading a diverse platoon of Allied soldiers against the Nazis in France. Ashley Judd could play Lt. Gail "Gil" Hanley; the feisty tough-as-nails proto-feminist who obtained a special Presidential dispensation to lead an all-male unit at the front. Little John, Kirby, Doc etc. would be cast from among the male leads found on any CW teen soap opera. Their mission would be to "Use Words not Weapons" and "Always Remember that Nazis Are People Too." What do you think? Will it work?
jshub – great idea
It would turn the idea of Kristalnacht into something more like Klinkerdagger
and we'd all be cushy happy
Yes, back in December…1998.
It would be nice if people overseas were as interested in a real international fighting force as they seem to be in a fictional one.
Well, I hope you feel bad now. The man was an icon. His TV wife also went to join Sammy. A surprising number of the Three's cast is gone.
The foreign revenues are a thing of the past. "American Gangster" was on sale in the streets of Shanghai and LA two weeks before it premiered in the US. For about $1 IIRC from the WSJ article. Piracy erodes foreign revenues. Why should a foreigner pay large amounts of cash when he or she can have the same thing, pirated, high quality, for a pittance? This is particularly true in the biggest markets, China, Russia, Brazil, and India. The so-called "BRIC" countries.
Hollywood lives in yesteryear. DVD sales, foreign revenues, TV rights, and all that are not going to make a film go into the black. Piracy, free streaming alternatives (Hulu), existing DVDs of good movies, are going to and ARE decimating Hollywood the way the music business was. You don't see musical acts being successful offering bland, "international" content and the few successful acts have strong regional as well as American identities (or uniquely UK ones) and even THEY have to make money by touring, itself an iffy proposition in a recession.
Hollywood has not had to struggle for scarce consumer cash since the 1940's — and now they are clueless. GI Joe probably loses money because DVD and foreign sales just won't be much.
Yup. That's where i saw it.
Haha, I can't say I'm surprised.
I like that you name dropped Norman Fell, Greg. He deserves more regard than he generally gets. I like even more that you are having on Patti Ann Browne tonight. Lucky man (as long as your wife is asleep at that hour). Throw in Noelle Hancock and some Ab News and I may have a seizure.
Just FYI: GI Joe is not a singular character. Not since the 60's. The GI Joe -team- was introduced in the 80's as a comic, a line of action figures, and an accompanying cartoon series. The Joe team consisted of specialists from all areas of the US armed forces. Everything from HALO jumpers to firemen to helicopter pilots.
Figured you'd like to know, because your story sounds a little goofy to anyone familiar with the franchise.
The world loves America far more than it does MSNBC. And yet MSNBC continues to exist. And it continues to employ Donnie Deutsch, despite the fact the world doesn't love him. I guess MSNBC isn't interested in making money.
So let me get this straight. When G.I. Joes gets whitewashed (or perhaps blackwashed) to remove any hint of Americanism, that's a business decision. Don't want to offend all those anti-Americans out there. Wouldn't be prudent.
But when more than a dozen movies come out bashing Bush, Republicans, and the war in Iraq, that's what? An aesthetic choice? A statement? Speaking truth to power?
Hey, Hollywood! Maybe if you didn't put out dozens of movies a year insulting half your domestic audience, you wouldn't need to bend over backward to avoid insulting your international audience.
Just a suggestion.
Personally I think it'd be totally hilarious if hollywood were to make an "action" movie depicting an elite team of liberals who talk about peace and environmental awareness to terrorists and evil dictators and such. The terrorists go "Wow, I never thought of it that way! You're right, I love trees and little electric cars and just didn't realize it until you came and spoke to me without using violence!"
Then Obama can descend from the clouds, hug Ahmadinejad and go "we've been terrible to everyone…I'm so sorry." Then everyone sends their nukes with all of us evil Christians and whites tied to them into space where they harmlessly explode into flowers and magical "space snow" that Obama and Al Gore engineered themselves, that float toward sun to eternally protect us from global warming.
And people could watch this every year on Obama's birthday.
"Alliance of Civilizations Media Fund
The Alliance is supporting the launch of a multi-million dollar independent Media Fund aimed at financing mainstream film productions that help promote cross-cultural understanding and combat stereotypes. Private investors have launched a $100 million campaign for the Fund with an initial $10 million commitment announced at the Alliance of Civilizations Forum in Madrid, January 15-16, 2008.
The financing of the Media Fund will be further leveraged to expand production and distribution of films through partnerships, also announced at the AoC Forum, with major Hollywood production, distribution, and talent management companies."
http://www.unaoc.org/content/view/95/130/lang,eng...
"President Obama commends Alliance of Civilizations
Speaking in Cairo, US President Obama called for a new era of cooperative relations between the West and Muslim world and hailed "Turkey's leadership in the Alliance of Civilizations.""
http://www.unaoc.org/
Maybe if you didn't put out dozens of movies a year insulting half your domestic audience, you wouldn't need to bend over backward to avoid insulting your international audience.
Judging by a previous article, Europeans know when they're being pandered to. They don't appreciate these movies any more than we do.
Next you'll be telling me that Michael Jackson is dead, or John Lennon!
Can liberals say that? Not without hacking up a hairball the size of Mikey Moore!
Come and knock on our door…..
We've been waiting for you……
Where the kisses are hers and hers and his,
Three's company too.
Come and dance on on our floor……
Take a step that is new…..
We've a loveable space that needs your face,
Three's company too.
You'll see that life is a frolic and laughter is calling for you……
Down at our rendez-vous,
Three's company, too!
Freed nearly a billion people around the world.
America really changed the world.
and invented a few things…
air conditioning is man's trump over nature.
-Misato, Neon Genesis Evangelion
Abe Vigoda will live FOREVER!!!!!
People "get" that in this particular iteration of the franchise (i.e. the 80s version as opposed to the 60s/70s version) "G.I. Joe" is the name of a team of mostly-Americans and some foriegn-born soldiers, not one guy… right?
Meanwhile over at gamespot.com, the video game tie-in has received a wretched review, which I found rather amusing…
"Even in the realm of licensed tie-ins, this monotonous third-person action game is particularly poor, managing not only to screw up the mechanics it rips off from other games, but also failing to get even the basics right…."
http://www.gamespot.com/xbox360/action/gijoe/revi...
I remember a scene from the old GI Joe comic. The machine gunner Roadblock went with his unit to an abandoned American embassy in a fictional South American country. They found a bunch of looters running off with everything they could carry, except one guy who was about to set fire to an American flag. Roadblock, being the gentleman that he is, politely tells the guy to reconsider. The guy spits on him, so Roadblock sticks the barrel of his M2 in the guy's face (yes, Roadblock's personal weapon was a Ma Deuce). The guy starts to whine that the others are stealing typewriters, why doesn't he go after them? Roadblock responds:
"Ain't nobody ever died for no typewriter."
I'll probably go see the movie, but I'm definitely not expecting anything like that.
It's a shame too.
Here's a box office lesson for you, Greg Gutfeld. Chick flicks like "Sex in the City" are domestic box office hits which appeal to American women. Action/disaster movies make big business overseas. Comparing these two movies as a hypocritical portrayal of political correctness was illogical, silly, and not very insightful.
you're illogical, silly and not very insightful!
SNAP!
Yes Bob we do. Along with Shipwreck being an Chief Petty Officer (E-7) and still wearing enlisted dungarees. But they were an American force, remember that?
When will liberals ever stop whining? Never. What we want to see is how about a movie saying that somethings are worth fighting for and showing us that most of our servicemen and women support our efforts and all aren't sulking malcontents driven mad because of foolishly fighting for something other then themselves. Are we clear on that?
Oh, my gosh, I'm dyin'!!!
Tears of laughter are running down my face. Thanks for this post!
I'll feel much better when Hollywood starts making some movies that are original and not based on some cheapass 80s cartoon (or tv show or remake, etc). And yes, that means JEM too! *grin*
Who's on for the live action version of Strawberry Shortcake, eh?
I know, but it just feels like pandering. . ."F*ck. Those rednecks won't know the difference once we throw Kid Rock in there." <_<
*MissQuinn*
I think North Korea made that movie. :p
*MissQuinn*
Ell. Oh. M@thaf*kin. Ell.
*MissQuinn*
Hey! Watchyer words about JEM! That show was my joint back in the day!
*MissQuinn*
OK a model with perfect hair is a badass. Please! Damn I miss John Wayne, Robert Mitchum. Lee Marvin, Humphrey Bogart, JAMES CAGNEY, Gregory Peck, Clark Gable. Well you get my point.
Um, no. The complaints are because GI Joe was originally a series of action figures representing US military forces. It then evolved into "Real American Hero." Being American has always been at the core of GI Joe's identity.
Making them international is akin to taking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and saying "Ok, let's keep one a turtle, make one a fish, make one a dog, and make one a bird. Now the band is more representative of the animal kingdom!"
Norman Fell put up with sex orgies and shot down Nazis during WWII. Awesome!
I'm with you Harley. I am 43, and I remember when men were men, and I think we are all past ready for them to come back. Rise up against the waxed chested, bromancing, pastel shirt wearing metrosexuality of men!
P.S, This movie looks like it can't decide if it's real GIJoe, or GIJoe UN. Ick./
Holly Wood Movies, who really cares, I never go to any. I watch TCM on my tv because they just don't make good movies anymore. Plus I hate all the actors. I was a BIG movie fan 15 yrs ago. I think I paid to see 4 films over the last 5 yrs. Screw liberal holly wood and screw MSNBC!!!!!!
What´s with all the "americanized" remakes of French comedies that make more money across Europe than the original even if the original was better? And why do many German, British and French directors working in Hollywood immediately go native and try to ape their American models (sometimes in a good way, sometimes with disastrous results, but rarely with a "European" sensibility in evidence – think "Catwoman", "Poseidon Adventure" or "Flightplan")?
Is he playing Akira? I'd pay to see him bloat up to enormous proportions and be shot at by a guy on cool motorcycle with a huge rocket launcher (or was it a laser? I forget)
That wasn't Akira. It was Tetsuo.
Er, excuse me. It was: TETSUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
(Shot at by KANAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!)
…..
That's as bad as what they did to Godzilla. Are they going to call it Neo-New York City?
Sheesh, is Hollywood getting so uncreative that they have to mangle, er, "remake" other nation's shows? (What's next, Mobile Suit Gundam?)
The Weekly Standard had the greatest parody of the "new" G.I. Joe. http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Arti...
The Weekly Standard had the greatest parody of the "new" G.I. Joe. http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Arti...
[...] international delight is a “business” decision. For the movie to make money internationally click for more var _wh = ((document.location.protocol==’https:’) ? “https://sec1.woopra.com” : [...]
Baroness is the only recognizable part of the whole thing that I've seen from the trailers; though she doesn't have the accent from the old cartoon, which disappoints me.
Well, scratch that, Snakeyes and Stormshadow still look the same.
It was some freaky laser rifle.
They already did Gundam. It was called G-Saviour, and it was horrible.
YOU MISSED THE PERFECT SYMBOLISM
I too was initially disappointed by the internationalization of this American Icon until I realized/ remembered
the characters in this movie represent neutered dolls with absolutely no sign of genitalia. Sure they look tough and manly but are completely lacking of manhood. They are a perfect representation of the UN and most other internationalist bodies in this country including the most of Hollywood, MSNBC and the leadership of the DNC.
Okay…sorry for nitpicking…but how do you figure there's a surprising number of that cast dead? John Ritter's death was, of course, shocking…but Norman Fell, Don Knotts and Audra Lindley were all well into their 70's and/or 80's when they passed away. I think if you check…you'll see a great many actors from the 70's (movie or TV) have, unfortunately, moved on. And as for Dr. Noisewater…how do you misremember crying for someone that isn't dead?
Absolutely!!! The world loves American heroes and they really love them when they kick the bad guy's ass!!! Your average movie watcher all over the world knows good from bad and when bad gets its butt kicked they know it's a good thing.
I've always found it interesting that "Hollywood Libs" condemn violence and defend the human rights of those who murder and mame but then make their livings creating movies and heroes about guys and gals who kick the butts of those same people they are defending.
Sienna Miller. Hubba hubba.
I'm not suggesting Hollywood doesn't portray soldiers in a bad light. They do as a matter of routine. But to take it across to the other spectrum and show a bunch of guys who just can't wait to get to Iraq for the 'cause' would be just as dishonest. I didn't know a single guy like that when I deployed. We were concerned about each other coming home. The mission, the Iraqi people, those were secondary.
There used to be a way you could see what we were fighting for. It was called enlisting, and it's what principled people used to do. Now people just sit back, shovel popcorn into their fat gords and complain that Hollywood doesn't know anything about 'real soldiers.' Give me a break.
America! F-ck yeah!
Just announced: the new G.I. Joe movie WILL NOT BE SCREENED FOR THE CRITICS.
You know what this means: COBRA will not be the only ones to bomb in the theater….
A damned shame.
MovieBob's usually too busy trolling to pay attention to details like that.
Welcome to the world of movie tie-in games…they rarely get good reviews. IGN flamed this game as well, and from what I hear, rightfully so.
I don't like motorcycles all that much, but if they built ones that looked like that, I'd learn to ride
Wait, why are you keeping the GI? What does the GI mean?
GI…. a military term meaning a U.S. Army soldier. Yeah, that can't be it.
He must be Gastro-Intestinal Joe, fighting off the forces of diarrhea.
Galvanized iron Joe… Now rustproofed with Zinc.
Geographical indication Joe… you can always find Joe.
General Instrument Joe… by day he makes crappy electronics. by night, he sleeps.
Wait, Gastro-Intestinal Jacques… a white blood cell looking to stave off indigestion and a possible staph infection. Two hours of internal organs, blood swooshing about, and crappy generic movie dialogue with Disney style special effects… crap. Someone is going to read that and we'll be seeing it coming to theaters in about 18 months.
All we can hope for now is a straight to DVD release.
[...] Greg Gutfeld on G.I. Joe and MSNBC. [...]
So not one person you knew in the service felt good about the cause you were fighting for? Man I'm glad I never served with you guys. When I was in and we got deployed my attitude is well let's do it, what the Hell did you think was gonna happen? No give me a break, you admit Hollywood routinely puts soldiers in a bad light and then go off on the people who say they do? Well if what they are saying is true why are slamming them and giving Hollywood, which doesn't know a damn thing about the military, a pass?
You must be logged in to post a comment.