Daily Gut: Say ‘No’ to Condoms
by Greg GutfeldSo according to new research, having sex without a condom is healthy – at least for your head. A leading Scottish psychologist claims that unprotected straight sex can dramatically boost men’s and women’s mental well-being – with or without the kilt. He adds that wearing a condom can increase risk for depression and stress – probably triggered by trying to open those little wrappers with fat stubby fingers.
Now the research was immediately condemned by sex educators, who believe this finding can only lead to unprotected sex, pregnancy, STD’s and tedious play dates at McDonalds. The professor, however, stood strong and said: “Evolution is not politically correct… there is actually only one [sexual behavior] that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one… favoured by evolution.”
Of course he said this all with a delightful Scottish accent, which made it more endearing. But I get it: because unprotected sex boosts your chance of reproduction, and reproduction is the name of the evolutionary game – then you, biologically, feel better about it. Which makes sense, I guess. But there’s more to it than that, I’d say.
For one: perhaps you feel better not using the condom, because it feels better not using the condom! Of course that feeling of well-being dissipates shortly after you realize you didn’t wear a condom. Then that well-being is replaced by the three stages of fear: which is fear, more fear, and still more fear.
But more importantly, the use of condoms might say more about your choice of partner – who influences your happiness more than the sex you’re having. The fact is, if you’re not using a condom, there’s a higher chance the person you’re having sex with is someone you trust – like your wife. Although the researcher disagrees with that point – my feeling is if you’re using condoms, chances are you’re more likely to be sleeping with some random chick at the office, an unstable drifter named Roy that you met at Port Authority, or in my case – a lemur. That can’t be good for evolution, either.
So in conclusion: say no to condoms, and yes to Scotland.
Welcome back everyone (welcome back Greg!)
Tonight: Eric Bolling, Shannon Bream, Tamara Holder….and….(drum roll)…
Ian McCulloch from Echo and the Bunnymen!!!!!
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49 Comments
At my age, it's more about being able to take a leak. Liberal outrage, indeed!
Probably not a bad idea for Europe. If they don’t get at it, they will find themselves a Muslim state.
I have been married 14 years,
I bought a box of 12 condoms ten years ago and I still have 10
Marriage is bliss
"…because unprotected sex boosts your chance of reproduction, and reproduction is the name of the evolutionary game – then you, biologically, feel better about it."
Most of my bachelor friends would strongly disagree. Quite a few of my married friends as well.
I think you're onto it, Greg. It's all about who you're having sex with. Can I write "sex" without triggering the sarcasm police? Even though you just did…
Anyway, that becomes a moral judgment so of course a "psychologist" will steer clear of that fairly obvious conclusion.
Uhhh…I'd check the expiration date on those things before my next road trip.
Whoa, Ian McCulloch?? Get out!
/old '80s fangirl
Whats a road trip ?
You know what they say
The only cure for a nymphomaniac is wedding cake
anyone dumb enough to have unprotected sex with a stranger gets the darwin award for potentially removing themselves from the gene pool.
The psychologist here would have been responsible to make this point, regardless of his findings.
Well, that makes sense as to part of why gays are such miserable people all the time.
Besides, "Roy" acted like he really cared, but the number he gave rings to the public phone at the downtown bus station.
Uhhh…too much information?
I disagee, TR. If you were looking for a nympho after the wedding, better make sure she's one before. On sure fired way. Don't believe in sex before marriage? Then you just gamble and take what you can get. True nymphos really don't change after the "I dos."
Not that I have any knowledge on this subject, whatsoever…………………………………
Actually, I'd think the odds are more in favor of adding a new member to the gene pool than anything else.
so the psychologist is a man claiming sex without condoms is better for – ahem – men? shocker.
He didn't say that. And if a woman is having sex with a man she trusts enough to not insist on a condom, she may relax and enjoy it more (if he knows what he's doing). There is something to be said about a man that will stand by his woman no matter what.
It's simple. When you have sex with a condom, you don't feel satisfied afterward. You feel like you've just done something responsible, but not all that fun. You then have to deal with the disposal of the darned thing, so you go from a diminished romantic encounter to a bio-hazard operation. Yeah, very fulfilling.
"So in conclusion: say no to condoms, and yes to Scotland."
i read that as, "….and yes to Scotch." Oooo, either way, win wn….
I take it one step further…. any contraceptive sex is depressing. Switch to NFP… check it out at
http://www.omsoul.com
http://www.boma-usa.org
PS. note to liberals- feel free to use condoms every time.
I think stated more to the point, real men don't need condoms, boys do.
hmmm… I'm no statistician, but I'm guessing that while your statement maybe true somewhere, other places maybe not.
ah, the three stages of fear. those were the days…
A good friend of mine said it best – Condoms are for amateurs.
and abort if it breaks
You get a thumbs up just for your little icon…That picture will never get old.
Like anything else, I take an oppositional view: Condoms are politically endorsed by people I cannot stand and would not have sex with, so if most of the ideas such folk have are useless at best, counterintuitive and damaging at worst, why listen? Ergo, beyond their use as a Jezebel litmus test, for straight men they're useless.
/self-jinx
Post modern society is dysfunctional and highly contradictory in what it believes because it has sacrificed a standard of truth in exchange for relativism. Thus all is intellectual chaos. Greg's post highlights that point. On any given day most of the sex educators who condemned the study would praise the theory of evolution to the hilt, especially if used to bash Christians and creationists. However, evolution must give way to political correctness and the desire for illicit safe sex.
Another case is point would be to use evolution to argue against homosexuality and homosexual marriage. After all, let us be scientific about it. Homosexual behavior does nothing to perpetuate the species because their is no offspring produced from the act. Therefore, it should be discouraged because it absorbs the sexual energy that should go to perpetuating the species. I would dare say that few of our scientific liberal friends would agress as their all powerful science must bow to political correctness.
Never used one in my life, and I'm very happy.
Post modern society is dysfunctional and highly contradictory in what it believes because it has sacrificed a standard of truth in exchange for relativism. Thus all is intellectual chaos. Greg's post highlights that point. On any given day most of the sex educators who condemned the study would praise the theory of evolution to the hilt, especially if used to bash Christians and creationists. However, evolution must give way to political correctness and the desire for illicit safe sex.
Another case is point would be to use evolution to argue against homosexuality and homosexual marriage. After all, let us be scientific about it. Homosexual behavior does nothing to perpetuate the species because their is no offspring produced from the act. Therefore, it should be discouraged because it absorbs the sexual energy that should go to perpetuating the species. I would dare say that few of our scientific liberal friends would agree as their all powerful science must bow to political correctness.
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Ouch!
Sorry Greg, but under the rules of Leftist thinking, if the research doesn't get pro-Leftist results, then the research must be either flawed or funded by Big Oil.
Evolution is useful to the Left for only one thing — to "disprove" revealed religion, since without God, all things are permitted. Thus the Leftist reasons, Why, if Genesis isn't literally true, what's holding us back from teaching kids about anal sex? Otherwise, the Left hates evolution for what it says about the very human behavior it seeks to normalize. The Left also hates evolution for what it implies about differences in intelligence and ability since, you know, people can't be of equal dignity without equality of results.
The notion that evolution "favors" wide-scale procreative sex (or anything for that matter – part of the nice thing about "evolution" is that it doesn't have likes, dislikes or "laws" to break, it simply "exists") seems to me predicated on the idea that EVERYONE should be reproducing. Given the sheer volume of worthless flotsam ALREADY clogging up the terrain, I can't imagine that's the case… unless one assumes that evolution also "favors" humanity drowing in an ocean of itself.
I could, of course, get completely behind the "no to condoms" bit… in a world where there was a giant gumball machine dispensing free RU486 on every corner and an abortion could be procured as quickly and locally as the average Big Mac. Failing that, discouraging unprotected sex is the only check we have against winding up in the future of "Idiocracy."
Ah, but my theory is that nature makes about 10% of the human population homosexual to control the population. Therefore, it may be sort of evolutionary, or at least part of nature.
Just a thought. :shrug:
Gee Greg, thanks a lot. I did not want to wonder about those photos where the eyes of the lemurs look like they are popping out of their skulls.
A blind and beautiful nympho….. A man sure can dream………
No condoms as long as the "unwanted" pregnancies are taken care of? Sounds good, then natural selection will weed out a lot faster those who do not have resistances to the numerous venereal diseases that lead to sterility and/or a somewhat quick death, and those who stick to monogamous relationships with a minimum of partners in a lifetime shall also be selected.
I blame Bush.
Better advice: don't marry a "nympho". Marry the woman you would like to have raise your children.
34 years and counting.
Better advice: don't marry a "nympho". Marry the woman you would want to have raise your children.
34 years and counting.
If you're really into recycling, you can turn it inside out and use it again…
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MovieBob, it goes without saying that you are excluded from this discussion. Evolution favors you living as a hermit.
"because unprotected sex boosts your chance of reproduction, and reproduction is the name of the evolutionary game – then you, biologically, feel better about it."
Where do I fit into this? I've had a vascetomay so I can't reproduce even if I want to but I still enjoy sex.
Wouldn't the more correct statement be, "We Scots say 'nae' to condoms?"
And they stink. I mean, really. They have a nasty rubber odor. Even the ones that are "perfumed" just reek.
Condoms are the least of my worries. These days, I can't seem to make it through a little "love session" without the overhead crane breaking down…
No risk, no reward, is my motto.
Plus, condoms give me a limp dick almost every time.
Aunts and Uncles.
When families have multiple children and even multiple generations co-operating for survival the presence of additional adults is always an evolutionary plus. Aunts and Uncles perpetuate their own genes in their nieces and nephews.
In any case… biological success doesn't care in the least about political correctness.
BTW… did anyone see that movie on the Comedy Network that started out explaining why in the future all humans became morons due to the circumvention of evolutionary pressure? I think it starred Luke Wilson?
Funniest thing ever.
Okay, so I didn't actually watch it, but the opening sequence with the dumb redneck and his exponentially expanding family tree contrasting with the exceptionally high IQ couple who kept putting off kids and putting off kids and finally he dies trying to get a sample for the invitro fertilization and she says she'll have kids someday when she finds the right guy.
It was utterly brilliant as political commentary.
(And while the redneck part was predictable, it was still funny and made it possible to show the evolutionarily advanced couple heading to that biological dead end in excruciating clarity.)
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