Daily Gut: Great Abs, But No Balls

by Greg Gutfeld

So according to a new poll by WorldPublicOpinion.org, Barack Obama is the most trusted political leader in the world. The poll was of nearly 20,000 residents of the largest nations, including even Macau. Oh how I love Macau. From my own experience, the authorities tend to look the other way when it comes to so many things.

So Obama was right: he truly is the citizen of the world, even as his own country is left wandering and confused. I suppose it’s easy, however, for Jabrail in Azerbaijan to swoon over Obam, when he’s not faced with cap and trade, nationalized health care, and those new mandatory curly light bulbs. But then again, in Azerbaijan, I guess you’re just happy to have any kind of light bulb. Even if it’s a candle shaped like a light bulb.

But I digress. The poll looked at “confidence ratings” and found that while Obama had the highest, and would “do the right thing regarding world affairs,” Vladimir Putin and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had the lowest. Now, these standings might mean something, if Obama actually had the balls to take advantage of them. I mean, what’s the use of being loved if you can’t actually scare the crap out of those who love you? It’s what confuses me most about our President. He chose initially to sit on the sidelines – as the people of Iran cried out for help – preferring to see which dude wins. A true leader, however, would know that it’s not the leaders who matter, but the people caught in the middle.

Which is why Obama’s recent response to the Honduran mess is even more bizarre. Immediately after the coup – Obama raced to condemn it. So our President develops a spine over an abducted politician in pajamas – but not about widespread bloodshed of innocent folks in Iran? Where the heck are his priorities, or his sense of proportion?

Does Obama make a list of things that piss him off, and if so – what’s at the top? Fascism or poorly inflated tires? The murder of innocent protestors, or midtown bodegas that sell cigarettes to teens? Nukes pointed at Hawaii, or sugary sodas at school? Our nation’s prosperity or his abs?

I don’t know. Which is why – at least for now – I’m taking down my Obama poster from the ceiling above my bunk bed. I’m replacing it with a poster of Sarkozy. He’s got abs, and balls!

Tonight’s guests include Remi Spencer, Mike Baker, Greg Proops and actor Mike Doyle.


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Posted Jun 30th 2009 at 12:58 pm in Daily Gut, Featured Story, News, Political Humor, Politics | 10 Comments