Daily Gut: Maybe I Should Change My Name
by Greg Gutfeld
So, Howard Kurtz, no relation to Tippy the Turtle, had talk show host and Playboy grotto ghoul Bill Maher on his show Reliable Sources over the weekend, and here’s a piece of it.
(ROLL SOT)
Another Fox host, Greg Gutfeld said, “One of the great things about Obama…”
MAHER: Who?
KURTZ: Greg Gutfeld. He’s on…
MAHER: Greg Gutfeld?
KURTZ: He’s on late at night.
MAHER: Is that a real name? Is this a trick question?
KURTZ: No, no, no. I wouldn’t do that.
MAHER: Come on. You’re making up a Fox newscaster. It’s OK. I’ll go along with it.
KURTZ: “One of the great things about Obama is how it terminated the relevance of Bill Maher. His schtick is now just a smirk in a suit.”
Are you getting under their skin?
MAHER: I guess so. Hey, when you piss off Greg Gutfeld, I think you’re doing something right.
Who is Greg Gutfeld? I know more about Jon and Kate than this guy.
Now, this is awesomely awesome for a variety of reasons that are awesome.
-One, Howard Kurtz must be under a lot of stress doing one show a week, because he completely misunderstands my commentary. It wasn’t that Maher gets under my skin, it’s that he doesn’t get under ANYONE’S skin. My point was Maher’s irrelevance has emerged out of fear of upsetting his audience’s love for Obama – so much so he’s retreated into a bland world of predictable smirking and forced applause. But I forgive Howie: he was probably blinded by Maher’s star power – a bright beacon of celebrity rarely seen on Reliable Sources – unless of course you count the fiery David Gergen.
And I do.
But even more ridiculous than Kurtz is Maher himself, complaining that his audience is too politically correct to handle jokes about Obama. What’s an “Obama joke,” according to Bill?
If I remember correctly, it went something like this: Republicans don’t like Obama, because they’re superstitious about having a “black cat” in the White House.
Now, Maher may label that an Obama joke, but anyone with half a brain (or a half more than Maher’s audience) knows it was a stereotypical jab at those racist Republicans. Meanwhile, hairpieces like Kurtz are so clueless that they happily buy into his spin of events.
Anyway, it kinda hurts my feelings that Maher doesn’t remember me. Worse, it bothers me that he doesn’t believe Greg Gutfeld is a real name. But I forgive him – he probably thinks it’s as offensive as Jonathan Leibowitz.
Tonight: we’ve got Andrew Breitbart, Juliet Huddy, and Ron Geraci. Also, a dream analyst, Lauren Lawrence. And maybe my mom (but I have to call her first and see how she’s doing).
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71 Comments
Bill who?
Maher is a nobody. Why pay him any mind? He's a roach hanging out on the garbage can on 42nd and 6th, nothing more.
I know your name, Greg.
And I think you're way WAY funnier than Bill. ( I had to look up his first name. I couldn't remember it.)
It's going to be a long 4 years for liberal comedians and commentators.
Maher's still whining into his latte about not getting any recognition for "Religulous." I'm edgy! You all don't get me because I'm too sophisticated for you idiots! Edgy….edgy….
I still say he looks like a deranged turtle. Maher thinks he's a sophisticate, but he's really just another run-of-the-mill bore. Greg cleans his clock every night.
Greg Gutfeld, I know your name, and I just can't quit you, man.
Well, if in fact that is your real name.
Hey Greg.
I love Red-Eye.
Just because this guy can't stay up past mommy and daddy's bedtime rules doesn't mean you don't exist.
Of course, you already knew that…
The wind will blow your name across this land.
I know one thing about Bill Mar.
He said the 9/11 terrorists were braver than us.
Thats it.
Smooches, Greggie!
JULIET HUDDY!!!11!!!!1
I'll stay up to watch this one "live". After a trip to the store for some more jergens.
His cartoonish insistence that he doesn't know who Gutfeld is would be the proof that Gutfeld under his skin in a big way.
Any Ab News tonight? What a revelation that was on last night's show!
It's like the monkeys at the zoo deciding who to toss their droppings at. They jump and yell and seem quite fulfilled over what they've done. In the end it's about what you'd expect from them.
Next time, stuff some oranges in your shirt.
Maher is up to the challange with a slew of President Obama jokes:
How many President Obamas does it take to change a light bulb?
We don't need light bulbs anymore, now that President Obama is here to illuminate our way!
***
Knock, Knock
Who's Threre?
President Obama!
Awesome, wicked cool! Come on in, your superness!
****
What's black and white and red all over?
Idiot, don't you know we don't use "black" anymore, or "red" for that matter. (It's African-American and Native American. White's okay, but if you're doing comedy it probably should be something like, cracker.)
B.M.'s writers (like all the others working late-nigt, Red Eye excluded) will just keep the comedy coming the next 4 – 8 years.
Bill Maher is the only reason I wish liberal talk radio was successful and the main reason I cancelled HBO. Bill Maher has a face for radio.
I think he's one of the ugliest men in the world… inside and out.
He obviously can't keep any women satisfied for very long, they end up leaving him and then sue him. Which is proof that he is only getting these women to go out with him because the girls think maybe they can get some money for the work it takes to look at him for more than a few minutes. I think he's gross.
Greg Gutfield is SO much hotter!
Ego been stroked enough for one day, Gutfeld? You and Maher deserve one another.
Bill Maher: Poster boy for the Smirking Class
He overplayed his bluff big time. He just made it obvious that not only does he know who you are, but he is familiar with what you have to say about him.
PS: Is you mom not feeling well or something?
[...] but I loved it and am still grinning. Read Greg’s terrific tongue-in-cheek post on Bill-Mo: Daily Gut: Maybe I Should Change My Name. And no, Greg, don’t ever change your name. We love you just the way you [...]
There's only one solution to this Gut: More B.M. (how appropriate are THOSE initials?) jokes on Red Eye!
He doesn't know who you are (or, as it sounds, is PRETENDING not to know who you are)?
Introduce yourself/remind him That YOU are Greg F'n Gutfeld, dammit!
Hell, do an entire Red Eye that would basically be Red Eye if you lacked the same man berries Maher does! Even better, make the whole episode a TOTAL goof on….whatever his show's called; Canned applause, have the panel act stupid -not the cool stupid it normally is, but the "Through The Looking Glass" mind numbing stupidity of the average Maher show panel- wear a bad hairpeice and a sport jacket and smirk at everything you find "quaint" (liberal code word for "rube-like"), etc…
It'd be GOLD, Gut! GOLD!
Bet he'd remember you then…
P.S. Can't wait to hear from Mom tonight. That woman is the funniest person on your show. She reminds me of my own mother. Only funny.
I say, keep after him. His attempt at making someone in opposition to his opinions appear smaller than he is tells volumes about his personality. He was one of those little whimpy freshmen in my highschool who was tossed daily into the garbage can for ignoring the warnings and sitting on the senior bench. He found solace, and soul mates, in the AV club at school. (Not that there's anything inherently wrong with the AV club!) He was an AV dweeb back then and he never outgrew it. He has about as much social relevance as pond scum–and he's just about as attractive. He's a putz. A self-deluded, self-absorbed, self-enhanced selfish guy who most likely only thinks of himself when he's with a woman. Maher, if you are reading this, sarcasm and narcissism are NOT sexy! And if anyone disagrees, the you sir/madame are worse than Hitlah!
Yes, methinks he doth protest too much. Just the first "who?" would've been more believable. But never mind that, who the hell is Howard Kurtz? Is this Reliable Sources on a channel somewhere? Never heard of it, which is too bad, because the few people who watch it will now tune into Red Eye to see what the fuss is about. Sorry it couldn't be more, Greg. I watch RE every day (dvr) and am doing my best to spread the word. Kinda crushin' on Bill, too, even though I'm a girl.
Maher??? I thought that was some sort of evil flying reptile creatures in a series of Edgar Rice Burrough books. Does that mean they have escaped from the pages and are now threatening the real world???
So True. He has the nerve to critique the appearance of women when he looks like a smurf. If he is with a women, she must be a hooker. No real woman would touch him.
Just tell Maher that you're the Greg Gutfield that managed to singlehandedly drive 20 million Canadians insane. Beat that Billy boy!
Bill Maher? Didn't he have a show on ABC a few years ago? What ever happened to him? I thought he went away.
I'll be waiting for this evening's episode. I need to see that picture of Pelosi again. Whatever makeover she got made her more attractive I think.
Seriously, who is Howard Kurtz?
I am not kidding.
I remember years ago on his old show when one of his guests and pals, comic Elaine Boozler interrupted his intellectual (he thought) tirade against the tirade against media being too permissive. She blurted out, "Bill, face it, all you really care about is getting your drugs and porn"
It was hilarious. Maher stopped in his tracks and was clearly offended, yet didn't dare counter it, knowing full well she was right and could extend the joke, with examples, if she desired. He went to commercial.
Awesome as usual Mr. Greg. You really need to have your agent find you an acting role. I'm not kidding I can't believe you haven't done that already. You're a natural, man. At least think about it.
ps. PLEASE!
At least Redeye is funny, unlike that snozefest on HBO. HBO must be getting money from Ambien to keep the show off the late hours, or they would be out of business.
Is there a way to stream red eye online?
Yeah, Hog. Greg is so famous he can get away with a regular character named Fluffy McNutter who looks like the picture of a smiling pulled tooth that hangs in my dentist's office. Maher just has Maher, who just looks like a decaying tooth. A very painful decaying tooth.
SG4, yes, there is a way to stream Fox News free online.
http://www.atdhe.net/tv/watch_fox_news.html
Enjoy.
realistically speaking, the "Bill who?" comments were around before Obama. The denials that Maher got under anyone's skin were around before Obama.
You flatter him from the get go with overzealous putdowns like "grotto goul". The rest of the article is egocentric masturbatory posturing.
Who's Howard Kurtz?
When he used 'bill' in the article, I thought he was talking about Bill Shultz.
Maher is a coke head. Plain and simple.
"…Playboy grotto ghoul…"
I'm sorry, but that right there is my dream job. ;^)
I can't stand Maher. He's one of those personalities who make me do a 4th down, to-the-end-zone dive for the remote control to change the channel as soon as I recognize the smarmy tone of his voice… which takes about a picosecond.
Does Howie really have a hair piece?
Bill Maher is Worse than Hitler……….
Greg do not stand for this insult…… tomorrow at dawn have the Houseboys line up with wet towels made into snappy whips to ride the Unicorns in a full frontal assault on Maher……. Attack………………….
Ugh! You took my line!
Maher is awesomly irrelevant, like the old carpets in an awesomly worn out awesome old folks home.
(No offense to the incredible Mom Gutfeld, long may she reign.)
No then he'd look much better than Maher's usual dates.
I actually met Gutfeld…the nicest dude ever.
Even Greg's mom Jackie is far edgier than Bill "I Guess I'm Too Smart Smart For Everyone" Maher.
Religulous was a stinking piece of cinematic turd and Billy is still in a temper tantrum.
Maher operates under the one philosophy that I hate most in liberals: The perpetual critic of the status quo. But now that liberals are in power, he's uncomfortable to be supporting the side of authority, so now he has to pretend that he's a new kind of independent liberal.
It's a phony, self-important snobbery. But without core values, he's irrelevant.
MAHER: Greg Gutfeld?
KURTZ: He’s on late at night.
MAHER: Is that a real name? Is this a trick question?
Greg, obviously your show isn't playing well among the octogenarian set.
The odd thing is that Greg is doing what Maher used to do when he had some "balls". Greg hosts a show where he and a couple of guests sit around making fun of politically correct things. That's what Maher did on "Politically Incorrect". Not coincidentally, that's when I used to enjoy watching him. Unfortunately, Maher's current show is just 60 minutes of thinly disguised variations of "Bush is dumb" jokes.
However, what irks me the most about Bill is that he is the smartest person in the universe in his own mind. Differ slightly with his "ever-so-enlightened" views, and you're just irrational and don't "get his dizzying intellect". He then dismisses you as another buffoon before going on a half-ass diatribe about how religion is dumb, conservatives are dumb, and you must be dumb too if you align with either.
Bill may not be dumb, he's an arrogant prick who needs someone to knock him down 50 pegs or so. Enter Greg Gutfeld.
I pray Red Eye never even breaches the banality and the smarminess of Real Time. Greg barely even takes himself seriously, and Bill weeps every day that he is not crowned Pope of All that is Rational.
and Maher USED to be funny. I think one "WHO?" could have you wondering if he really knew you…more than 2 and it was all about the great liberal smoke out "don't agree with US, you don't EXIST", sayeth Robt Gibbs.
He said they were not cowards.
Facts. Stupid people can not be seen with them.
Howard Kurtz talking to Bill Maher? Reliable Sources?
That one must be on at 4:00 am? I don't stay up that late.
"Religulous"-has that been released? Oh…it has? Didn't notice. Maher-isn't he that 3rd-rate standup comic from some Z-grade '80's boob flick?
Their target audience considers another four years of "Failed policies of George Bush" an old standard, not a worn out crock of BS.
Unfortunately for them, people aren't forced to watch or listen (until Fairness Doctrine II is born), hence the rise of talk radio and the domination of evening news shows by Fox.
bill maher? Isn't that just Jeremy Piven without makeup?
Maher knows exactly who you are. I don't believe that affected sniff-sniff "and you are… who?" bit, it's so tired out here and always phony. A former rep tells me Maher is one of the most evil and miserable men in the business.
"The fiery David Gergen"….
A belly full of beer, nodding awake at the precise moment, PRICELESS…
Okay, Greg, I give up. Who's Howard Kurtz? I know who Bill Maher is, though I have never seen his show — he does have a show, doesn't he? I know him by his looks. He's one of the subclass I call "accordion people" — you know, the people whose faces kind of collapse upon themselves, like their mouths are on their chins, their noses collapsing on their mouths, their eyes collapsing on their noses, their eyebrows collapsing on their eyes, their foreheads resting on their eyebrows. Can't take them seriously. They're too funny looking. But maybe, since I've never seen Maher's show, he's supposed to be funny looking. But anyway, who's Howard Kurtz?
Greg, Sure, you're devestated and ego/id crushed by was-s-name artistic put down, but you have the inner whatever to rise from the ashes. The thing is, you're doing what he used to do on "politically Incorrect" better than he used to do it. Giving him publicity is only good if you think you need a scarecrow to dump on, but, then again, ol' was-s-name lends himself to the "shack" role, as the Air Force top guns would say. I guess, skill wise, he is good for you to use, as intellectually vs you, he brings a dull knife to gunfight. The Liebowitz hit could be a bad idea though, as his brother really is armed/dangerous, and the Liebowitz kid is quick and deadly himself. Who is Howard Kurtz, and isn't what he does only legal in Las Vegas and Amsterdam?
Greg,
99.9% of the country has never heard of you. Why would they? You're an unfunny right wing hack with a show on a fake news channel.
The funniest material is definitely coming from the Right right now…come on! Obama and his mess of an administration is a potential laugh a minute! And Gibbs…that guy should be roasted hourly. I feel sorry for the Left…they got comedy gold and can't use it for fear of hurting their guy's feelings. Poor dears.
Funny, I heard someone compare Obama's win as a Renaissance for the arts. Bill Mahim/her is proof we are in The Dark ages…and will be for…hopefully only 4 years.
How does Howard Kurtz feel that CNN is now ranked at #3 below MSNBC?
Maher is Jeremy Piven with a bloated face or bitten by a really large ant.
Fake news channel? Did Greg skip over to MSNBC? If he did, I'll never see him now!
Maher is a smarmy, pseudo-intellectual butt-wipe. Ugly as heck to boot.
Hey, its you guys who are even talking about Maher. Obviously he gets under your skins. Anything said on his show is posted moments later on Newsbusters or Big Hollywood or other right-wing sites. The fact there are 3 pages of comments relating to his name alone and that Greg Gutfield of all people is calling Maher irrelevant is about has hilarious as it is delusional.
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