Daily Gut: Thank the Popping Doll

by Greg Gutfeld

If you ever needed to witness torture in action, check out Nancy Pelosi`s press conference Thursday morning. She squirmed, bulged, sweated and finally even tried to back away from the podium in a desperate attempt to escape. The best part, for me, was when one of the lapdog reporters – in an obvious strategy to gain favor from the Botoxed Barracuda – asked her about health care. It’s like during Hurricane Katrina, asking Bush if the pools will remain open.

Now I was at the gym during the press conference, where they only allow CNN on the tv. There`s no Fox News – mainly because it aggravates the yoga instructor`s rosacea. On the stair climber, I had no choice but to watch Pelosi with the sound off, and her body movements said more about what she knew than words ever could. Throughout the conference, she began to resemble one of those delightful popping dolls – those latex creatures whose eyes, ears & nose pop out when you start squeezing the torso. Pelosi, in effect, was in a tight spot, and it was delight to see the press – for once – use her like a grip strengthener.

But the telling part did not come from Pelosi accusing the CIA of lying, but from CNN afterward, where some joker said the Republicans were using torture “politically,” in an attempt to make national security an issue once again.

Well, we need to remember, no one in the Republican party ever thought torture was a political issue. If anything, torture is precisely the opposite of a political issue – an act meant to save lives, not win an election. No one gains favor politically, especially in our media circles, for being a member of “the party that tortures.” It was the Dems from the start who smelled blood on this one, went after Bush, and are now paying for it. And as for returning national security to relevance – it`s about time. The fact that we need a stupid debate on torturing terrorists in order to remind everyone that there ARE TERRORISTS WHO NEED TORTURING – is the scariest thing about the current administration (and I`m including Joe`s hair plugs).

So maybe we should be thanking Nancy, after all.


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Posted May 14th 2009 at 12:02 pm in Daily Gut | 5 Comments