Daily Gut: Global Warming (Yeah, I’m Sick of Writing About it Too)
by Greg GutfeldSo, an EPA memo has just surfaced, and apparently it tells the White House that any effort to regulate the output of C02 will screw an already screwed up economy. Basically, if the economy was an old lady, instead of helping her across the street, we’d be pushing her in front of a train.
Now, I apologize – this has to be the 50th Gregalogue I’ve done on global warming -it’s basically the little black dress of Red Eye – and I’m just as sick of the topic as you are. But it gripes me that despite the lack of evidence showing that curbing these gases will do anything to help the environment – it doesn’t matter. I give up.
See, arguing about global warming is like arguing about religion. You will never change the mind of a true believer, and if you’re a skeptic, you’re seen as a soulless heathen. But in a way, the global warming religion is worse – because at least the Pope isn’t demanding we damage our economy to sustain his belief in a higher power.
So, despite this memo, we’re still going ahead with the American Clean Energy and Security Act –a crazy bill that would place a limit on these heat-trapping gases for the first time. To me, this is the equivalent of putting limits on fairy dust because we think it harms unicorns. When, really, everyone knows unicorns need fairy dust to maintain the luster of their gorgeous horns (you can read more about this fact in this month’s Annals of Unicorn Science – I’m actually on the cover, in a thong, petting one of my many figurines).







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You're a little behind the times, Mr. Gutfeld. It's no longer "global warming". It's called "climate change". Let's get our euphemisms correct, shall we? We don't want to get Al Gore angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Going to Amazon now to see if I can get a used copy of "Annals of Unicorn Science". (Will it be discounted if the cover is missing? Something tells me they'll charge a little bet more. And it will be worth it.)
Except that in order to diminish the amount of fairy dust, the government wants us all to gouge out our eyes and castrate ourselves.
Which involves mutilating *actual* eyes and family jewels.
So you can see why it isn't just letting the retards have their silly little moment of legislative hubris.
Look what happened when someone in 1934 said
"Ah, who cares about Social Serurity? Most people will be dead by age 67 anyways?"
Old prophecies and new prophecies of the world coming to a violent end in the not so distant future. Perhaps the left and the right have more in common than we ever thought.
Environmentalism is with out question the newest faith based religion, which suits all of those that hate biblical faith based religions perfectly. Life is full of strange irony.
"you can read more about this fact in this month’s Annals of Unicorn Science – I’m actually on the cover, in a thong, petting one of my many figurines."
There is no god
The EPA memo also stated that standing downwind from AL Gore will raise your Global Warming Tax bill by 3000%, but nobody reads these things anyway. Its all about the kind and caring folks in the ruling class that are smarter and wiser then us.
Anyway, saw last nights show, thought it was a rerun of the Doby Gillis show. What with John Gibson looking like Maynard G. Krebs and all. You should of broadcast the show in B&W.
Global Warming? Isn't that the condition that happens in a liberal's brain when they listen to a factual Conservative Scientific opinion on the root causation of Climate Change?
To make matters worse, the Obama administration is trying to kill the nuclear power industry and just stopped funding for hydrogen fuel cell research. His clean power claims are a scam. It's almost like he wants the US to fail because he is doing everything he can to collapse our economy
Did "global warming" cause that protrusion comming from the horse's head in the picture? To whom may I lodge a protest? What's next, flying squirrels?
is this a swipe at perez hilton:"…putting limits on fairy dust because we think it harms unicorns."
i'm not even going to touch the part about maintaining the luster of their gorgeous horns. oh my……
Pink Ponies.
Where you been?
or force them to watch the weather channel…a massive warming trend is forecast for June, July and August…it'll modeate some in September, then a cooling trend for October, November and December…
Well, he's not all that likeable when he's not.
I can only take so many crises at a time. Has that bird flu thing hit yet? Please, my family and I only have another couple weeks of provisions here in this old bomb shelter.
Mr. Gutfeld, I have proof that Global Warming exists, and we must do something about it! If you don't believe me, you do hate unicorns.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/1a4af347eb/eco-c...
If Obama continues on his "climate change" course, wouldn't the appropriate analogy be "like pushing the old lady under the bus?"
Yeah, but either way he's green.
I thought the newest phrase was "Climate Chaos". That way too hot or too cold, it doesn't matter, it's still a crisis.
Prediction: 2010 – Obama creates new cabinet level position. Department of HomePlanet Climate Management. It's function: control this man caused disaster weather problem caused by greedy capitalist pigs.
Environmentalism is with out question the newest faith based religion
You are correct, and I heartily recommend reading Ann Coulter's "Godless" if you haven't already.
My solution to the CO2 problem. All liberals hold their breath.
Greg you can never, I repeat, never, write about the absolutely assinine concept of "Man Made Global Warming" (this includes the new retarded concept of "Man Made "Climate" Change")!!!!
These Eco-Whack Jobs need to be called out at every opportunity to expose just how mentally challenged they really are!
I have said what I am about to say many times before,but it bears repeating! I have seen this circus act before in the 70's. That indisputable science said by 2020 we would all be dead and buried under miles of ice (Not entirely true, just using some Hollyweird dramatic license)
So pardon me if I refuse to be a sucker twice!
Long Live The Lollypop King Barry Obama!
What do you mean, "almost"?
Hell, if you were Obama and wanted to completely wreck the country – what would you do different?
What do we do about the Ligers?
The use horn polish. It's manufactured by the same company that makes my beak polish.
"Wax on…wax off".
Broiled, lightly buttered, served over rice……..Well at least that's what I do with them.
And if the ice didn't get us, having too many children would cause us all to starve to death because the world food supply would run out by 1986. Make it three times for me.
Buttercup Sprinkles (pink and flies)
I've also mentioned this before, but I spent thirty two years working as a meteorologist for the Department of Defense, and I remember very well of what 'Primer' speaks. When I went through school in the mid 70s, the previous generation's James Hansens were predicting "global cooling" based upon the past 25 years of empirical data. That was about the time it started warming.
What we actually have now learned from real science (that is, the collection and analysis of data over time) is that the global atmosphere heats and cools on a roughly 25-year cycle, tied to solar activity.
The single largest source of atmospheric C02 is the Pacific Ocean, and atmospheric C02 increases and decreases on a roughly 25-year cycle, tied to solar activity and the warming and cooling of the ocean surfaces.
Mankind's contribution to this natural process represents about 3% of the total and is probably not a significant factor in climate change.
C02 is also known as "plant food".
Lawhawk, he's green, if by green, you mean sweaty on a cold December day.
I'm beginning to think the only solution to this is for the little old lady to be packing, she just needs to reach into her purse, retrieve her piece and stop these people from killing her with the judicious use of force.
The emporer is fully clothed – just ask the people.
Dude, that was funny…I don't know why, but it made me laugh. Gee, hot in summer and cold in winter…what a shock.
all kidding aside, if you dig into what this bunch REALLY believes, it's frightening. As others have pointed out it is no longer 'Global Warming' as much as it is 'Climate Change'. The fact that the earth has experienced massive climate change in the eons before Escalades and Hummers is absolutely lost on these people. So now, no matter what- hot, cold, normal- it's because we EXHALE.
In Mother Earth Magazine recently there was a discussion on a 'sustainable' population; the writer blithely stated that "about 2 and 1/12 billion is a good number"
There are 6 billion people on this planet.
You draw the conclusions…
I got into a "debate" with a co-worker the other day about "global warming/climate change". He asked me what I thought about the issue. I said that the science "supporting" it was junk and that there are thousands of REAL scientists that disagree with Algore's "consensus".
My pal's response? "You're f***ing crazy!" "You must be retarded" and (my personal favorite!) "Goddamn right wing redneck!"
Ooooookay.
Now, I've never been what you would call "buddy-buddy" with my colleague but I have always been civil with him and whenever he says or does something that I disagree with (which is quite often) I always try to take it with a grain of salt, a friendly smile and a polite shaking of my head. That said, I was perplexed with his reaction to my views on this issue.
At first.
After a few moments of introspection and mantras said to myself (Don't punch him. Don't punch him.), I realized that his reaction was to be expected. My "pal" reacted in the same fashion that I have seen religious zealots react who have been offended by a "heretic" or "blasphemer". Civility and reasonable discourse are often thrown out the window when you question their "one true religion". That is the way many global warming believers are.
These loons have their own "green" jihad and they expect everyone to abide by their "eco-friendly" sharia.
Sigh.
I don't want to jump out there and say there is no such thing as man-made climate change, but I would like a little proof before we go and implement a system that will completely cripple us economically. So far, I'm not buying. And when most of our manufacturing leaves this country (or maybe doesn't leave but just goes out of business), China (or other developing nations) will most likely pick up the slack. By the way, China isn't playing by the same eco-friendly rules we are attempting to impose on ourselves. So is it really going to help the global eco-system, or is it just going to kill our manufacturing and pollute twice as much out of old, dirty Chinese factories?
Why is it okay for developing nations to spew pollution, or was pollution always a secondary objective, with the main goal being to cripple the US economy so that we can no longer impose our "evil empire" on the rest of the world?
I think I may be a little younger than you, so my experience with "global cooling" was a left-wing science teacher in grade school. He took it upon himself to completely terrify 11 and 12 year olds! Sound familiar (See Al Gore)?
It wasn't enough that we children were still being told that the "Commies" would nuke us, now we had to worry that if mom and dad drove us to the zoo we would freeze to death!
Eco-nuts have hijacked the science for there own cause! Every time a contradictory peice of science comes out they spout there favorite line, "The debate Is over". Could you imagine if Einstein, Edison or Oppenheimer had followed that logic!
Didn't the Chinese try that? Where headed in that direction under the the lollypop king, so you might want to keep those thoughts to yourself! Don't want to give him any more grandiose ideas!
Another great commentary Greg, but I have to ask, when are you going to have John Nolte on the show?
Ha! Just one more reason to put you on the watch list.
I like that "Green Jihad"
I actually have friends who are "Green Jihadists". They are "heavily medicated" but they are still friends! The funny thing that I hear from them all the time is that they equate "not" believing in man made global warming to being "for" pollution!
What?
I try to explain that I, like almost everyone, believes that companies dumping chemicals into lakes and rivers or twits who still toss garbage out there car windows on the highway is a very bad thing. But that regardless of what the EPA and Al Gore says, global warming is not man made. So shutting down coal fired power plants and killing the automobile will not fix something that we have no control over.
They just can't seem to differentiate between pollution and global warming.
That is why I always suggest to my global warming friends that they wear a helmet when they leave the house.
I feel your frustration. While reading your post, it occured to me that these libs get hung up on; and terrified by, all the wrong "crises" in the world. They guffaw at the threat of another terrorist attack- a clear and present danger if there ever was one. Instead they prefer that we forget that, and jump on their panic-wagon over junk science crap like this "Climate Change." They didn't allow the clearing of forest undergrowth out West because they "don't want to disturb the fauna and flora," and as a result millions of acres have burned out there in the last 20 years, killing everything- including the snail darters. Same thing with this massive wave of illegal immigration- the more the merrier as far as they're concerned. When it comes to national priorites, they prefer delusion and fantasy over substantive, real-life issues. Thanks to the MSM & Obama (man, I dread what he's still bringing down the pike!), these crazies are going to continue to be able to make their dreams our nightmares.
children- Auntie has company now…
I am still trying to figure out how we put out about 10% ofthe CO2in the airand it is going ti kill the Earth. CO2 is .03% of Green House gases and that makes our contribution about .003% f the Green House Gases. Maybe I am wrong, but that is an insignificant amount.
But do not tell that to the Worshipers of Manbearpig and the Goracle. They will try and tell you about the denounced Hockey Stick Graph that even the scientists on the IPCC disagree with.
We are doomed to have another Great Depression with these idiots in control. With Keynesian economics and the Myth of Manbearpig, we should just bury our money in the back yard or they will take it away.
Like many of you, I've found there are three subjects which can end relationships in These Modern Times: Barack Obama, Sarah Palin, and Climate Change.
This Conservative Sarah Palin fan will be spending a lovely three-day Memorial Day weekend at a lakeside cabin in the woods with five Obama supporters who love to speak of the Climate Change. Odds on me remaining friends with at least half of these people by Memorial Day? 6:1
Odds on me being drugged and sent out for re-education? Even
If CBK becomes a Troll, expect nothing but nefariousness.
Oh its even worse than 'climate chaos' — try this one on for sheer horror and fear:
"Atmospheric Deterioration"
Puts one in mind of that movie about Mars where (I think) AH-NULD steps outside without his Super Special Space Suit and has his head swell up fit to bursting whilst his blood begins to boil right there in his veins.
Which is what they want you to think every time you hear it. Say it now, "Atmospheric Deterioration!" Oh yeah.
Forget for a moment that there is no deterioration of the atmosphere. Just the sheer fear of Something Nasty Happening that you are too stupid to really understand should be enough for you, and don't you dare question it, because it was in the NYT for heaven's sake! Just pay the enormous tax and just SHUT UP.
Don't you feel better already?
You wouldn't like him when he's angry.
Yeah…he'll buy another mansion and………*gasp*…. leave the lights on.
coming soon: Al Gore – Irrelavancy's Poster Child
I pity you. I hope we see you again after Memorial Day
and rebuild it in his own image.
all hail………….ppffffft!
I would go to Disneyland.
No, ….really!
just make sure the sump pump stays operational. Rain in the forecast.
Nah……Hawk started the list. We just jumped on.
Thumbs up, twice!
uh-oh…
did he just say:
RoNNie RaY-Gun?
Oh absolutely, they have been running that line for quite sometime now. Witness the History Channel with:
Life After People.
Some of the granola/picnic table munchers are really, too much.
Resistence……….is…………….
FUN!!!
Let's see – it's a scientific fact that greenhouse gases trap heat. It's a scientific fact that CO2 is a greenhouse gas.
It is also a fact that 90% of CO2 comes from things other than man. And CO2 is the least of the Green House Gases. Why is it that we are cooling and the CO2 is still going up. Could it be the big orange thing in the sky???? Could be. There have been minimal Sun Spots this cycle, kind of like when we had the Little Ice Age. And the Earth Mars and the rest of the planets are cooling at the same pace. Do we have SUVs on Mars??? They warmed at the same rate also. I do not think the rovers are emitting to much CO2 there do you????
a shame, too- History HD is a most favorite… yes, this nonsense that we are somehow a 'virus' that inhabits poor Gaia and only the enlightened
Eloi can inhabit the post apocolyptic Erath is ludicrous. No, it will be a collection of former Marines, Rangers and assorted country folk- no sissified latte' drinking electric car driving metrosexual (but willing to learn!) pontificating nitwits will make the cut…
Hey Greg, I tried to call you on your personal line but the message box was full. Better get another secretary to keep yourself current. Tell Bill Hi from all of us in the I-95 rest area just south of exit #144.
Hmmmm… I don't like him NOW.
Does that mean I shouldn't or should make him angry?
Thank you, Greg, and thank you, nearly all of those replying, for adding a much-needed dose of humor to a really tiresome subject. I appreciate it!
Take care,
Dave
p.s. I can never remember. Is it "cope and tirade"? "clap and spayed"? oh, well.
: – )
And what's the temperature forcing factor for carbon? How about that 'scientific fact?'
Oh, don't know?
That's OK- neither does ANYBODY…
although Jim Hansen is happy to pull a number out of his ass.
Global warming or climate change, (whatever you makes you happy), is a "travesty of a mockery of a scam"
Good grief. I'd cancel the weekend love fest. My close friend came to stay with me on election night. After drinking a bottle of wine together, she told me that she voted for Obama, then proceeded to tell me that Sarah Palin is as dumb as a box of rocks. Mind you, my friend has NEVER been known for her smarts. So, that irritated me even more. I had a hard time just allowing her to stay in my house, and I've never felt the same about her since. Totally messed up our relationship. And Sarah Palin, I just don't get it when people say she is dumb. She is pretty darn sharp and gives a good speech.
Yes, but it is also a scientific fact that the atmosphere of Mars is 96% Carbon Dioxide (we barely hover around .038% CO2), and the daytime surface temperature of Mars barely scrapes by 68F in summers, and gets down to about -220F at the poles in winter (cold enough for that CO2 to become dry ice patches) Not a very warm 'greenhouse' on Mars.
Facts, in and of themselves are interesting, but are not reason enough to scare half the population into paying ransom on their own breath and the flatulence of their cows to the other half, who will use that money for what exactly?
And before you say, "Plant trees." consider that at night trees and other plants exude carbon dioxide – what they do when they are not in sunlight and producing oxygen (here's another little scientific fact, for you too, oxygen is actually a poisonous gas! Go look it up somewhere other than Wikipedia. Its true.)
Management would like to remind you to use scientific facts responsibly.
The coming ice age – global warming – climate change
the coming pandemic
cigarettes are healthy- oh wait no they're not
cyclamates are cancerous – oh wait no they're not
hydrogenated fat is healthy – oh wait no it's not
huge rain storm coming tommorow…
…beautiful spring day
lead paint is safe – oh wait
asbestos – safe – not
fen-phen diet pills – safe…
…
As I write this, it's snowing again at Snoqualmie Pass, elevation 3500', with cold rain here in Seattle area.
"THE SCIENCE…IS..SETTLED! THE DEBATE…IS OVER!"
Don't forget SARS and Y2K!
"My pal's response?…'Goddamn right wing redneck!'"
When they resort to calling you names, it means you won.
A couple years back, I got into it with a big liberal true-believer at work. Eventually, he just stopped and called me a "Neo-con." At that point, it was over and I knew I had won.
"I'd cancel the weekend love fest."
Not me. I relish those opportunities.
I know I have the facts to back me up. I also know that most people like that have never spoken with someone who disagrees with them. To be able to wade into their pool of group-think and shock them with a well-formed counter-argument to all of their barely understood positions is just too much fun.
Last year I was at a Labor Day party where a small group insisted on talking very loudly about how dumb Sarah Palin was. Eventually, I had enough and wandered on over. About 30 minutes later, the entire party had stopped and was focused on me as I explained to them why they were wrong about Palin/Iraq/Climate Change/etc.
Afterwords, a friend of mine came up to me and thanked me for putting into words the thoughts and feelings he had about those subjects. I didn't even know he was a conservative.
It was awesome!
"See, arguing about global warming is like arguing about religion."
No. Arguing about Global Warming _is_ arguing about religion.
If I ever want to get a PhD, I know what my thesis will be.
"Let's see – it's a scientific fact that greenhouse gases trap heat. It's a scientific fact that CO2 is a greenhouse gas."
Let's see – it's a scientific fact that life requires energy. It's a scientific fact that heat is energy.
You raise some good points. Sure, there are always some people who will attend the Church of Global Warming in snowfalls. But new surveys across the world suggest people are waking up – and that’s thanks to people like you. Even in Australia, some leftists are relooking at the whole thing.
Step outside today. Have a look around. Cite for me the evidence you see that we are in the midst of a global climate catastrophe.
Step outside today. Have a look around. Cite for me the evidence you see that we are in the midst of a global climate catastrophe.
Since we as humans breath out about 2 pounds of co2 every day wouldn't it be ok to use this in a murder defense (your honor i was just trying to stop gobal warming, that's why i killed him). wouldn't that make hitler an enviromentalist he kill 6 million people, riding the planet of 12 million pounds of co2 every day.
The reality is that environmentalists see humanity as a disease that needs to be cured, an infestation that must be exterminated. If we don't realize that we're in a fight for the very existence of humanity, we're going to wake up some day to billions of dead.
The core beliefs of the modern environmentalist movement are more evil and vile than that of Islamofascism.
Stop trying to apply logic, reason, facts and science to the issue. This is about religious zeal, pure and simple.
excellent points. There is an amazing dichotomy of self-loathing and superiority that denotes these people. As true environmentalists we believe in what's called 'the wise use' policy. The planet's resources are bountiful, not strained as some would have you believe… but this movement is defined by their 'back to eden' utopian philosophy- and that basically calls for elimination of over half the world's population. They say this blithely without any remorse or second thoughts. It is not impossible to imagine the nuttier of this bunch gaining power and loosing epidemics to realize thier 'vision'- which, of course would backfire and consume them as well. This is the price of humanism…
I love that King Buzzo goes on Fox. I also love that my very liberal friend is a huge Melvins fan. I also, also love that one of his favorite musicians (Buzzo) leans a little to the right.
My friend and I both met Buzzo after an Ozzfest gig. He signed my friends ticket stub and was very cordial. Super cool guy!
Actually, Helen Thomas may be a little younger than me.
The phrase I've been seeing batted around is, "The Science is Settled", which is basically a campaign slogan. Real people don't talk like that, unless they're reading off of a teleprompter.
Well, there certainly is such a thing as "man-made climate change". We have understood for decades that major cities and industrial areas create "heat islands" which change the climate on the macro-scale. This is not, however, anywhere near the same thing as anthropogenic global warming, which is what Algore and his minions were arguing in their award winning documentary "An Inconvenient Truth".
Would cleaning up the Hudson River or the L.A. Basin be good things? Sure. And I think the people who live in New York and California should get right on that. And Beijing? For God's sake.
But it isn't really my problem, so much. Don't crap where you live and expect me to pay for the cleanup.
I guess that makes me a bad Global Citizen.
Holy Crap! If you are older than Helen Thomas that means you actually saw the last "Ice Age"! This means we should all listen to you, and only you, about climate change!
Sorry, couldn't resist!
If it were only that easy, cause when have you ever been able to shut a liberal up? They have to complain about something, anyhting.
[...] 14. Greg Gutfeld on Global Warming, the EPA and the Economy. [...]
Greg, it's not as bad as you think. Only 34% of Americans think that global warming is caused by humans. A couple of years ago this number was at 44%.
Just another example of how Obama is more popular than his policies.
You always know when he's angry….the internet just goes that much slower.
He's a powerful, powerful man, that Al "the Grizzly Bear" Gore.
pandering to the ignorant, misguided, and irresponsible.
I prefer global warming. They dropped that euphemism only because its turned out to be such a lark. It was initially believed that temperatures would rise over time and that would lead to the polar caps melting. But now that evidence has shown that we've actually been in a cooling trend since the late 90's, euphemisms need to change to reflect the facts. Problem is that without global warming, we don't have any good reason for the polar caps to melt. Now just recently scientists have revealed that they've been using faulty measuring of sea ice and that's its much thicker than they first thought. With all that, I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to doom the economy anyway.
I prefer continuing with the euphemism, global warming over climate change. They dropped the global warming euphemism only because its turned out to be such a lark. It was initially believed that temperatures would rise over time and that would lead to the polar caps melting. But now that evidence has shown that we've actually been in a cooling trend since the late 90's, new descriptive terms need to change to reflect actual facts. Problem is that without global warming, we don't have any good reason for the polar caps to melt. Now just recently scientists have revealed that they've been using faulty measuring of sea ice and that's its much thicker than they first thought. Frankly, the whole idea that humans can affect the climate is both preposterous and arrogant.
Here in Chicago, ran into a lil' goateed hipster complete with "clipboard of knowledge" standing on the sidewalk. He wanted to talk about climate change, and the "fact" that it was getting warmer worldwide.
We went back and forth about this "fact", me citing that temps have fallen since '98, him cleverly rebutting with "uh, we must have different data".
In order to keep things moving, I hypothetically granted him his point, then asked what temperature his organization (greenpeace) was hoping to achieve.
He was somewhat confused. I explained- if the planet warming up is a bad thing and is causing you to take action, surely there is some desirable lower temperature point to aim for that would make everything better on the planet- what is that temperature?
He mumbled something about "uh, it'd just be better to uh, fight the warming"
Gads, they need to get better stooges.
You mean Al "Manbearpig" Gore.
Actually, 'climate change' was used because is reflects what happens when the overall temperature of the Earth rises. Some areas will get wetter, others dryer and some will actually get colder as heat flows change. It's ridiculous to point to any one condition like an unseasonal snow, drought or a heat spell as evidence that the Earth is either heating or cooling.
In any case, climate change is being driven because of overall global warming, a trend that is well established. Exactly where and how that will play out at any particular time is a question.
Science is clunky and unreliable. All the predictions are based on data models which require regular remodeling every time a data error surfaces.
And of course a lotta folks gettin' big bux to ride the climate-gravy train.
"The collapse of a major polar ice sheet will not raise global sea levels as much as previous projections suggest, a team of scientists has calculated.
Writing in Science, the researchers said that the demise of the West Antarctic Ice Sheet (WAIS) would result in a sea level rise of 3.3m (10 ft).
Previous estimates had forecast a rise in the region of five to six metres. " BBC news.
Yes, remodeling the effects of heat exchange in light of new data continues. The overall warming trend continues to remain robust. The amount that human activites contrbute is tougher to assess.
What about their magical powers? How do you defeat that?
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