Daily Gut: Eminem
by Greg Gutfeld
So in Eminem’s comeback video, there’s a scene featuring him in bed with a Sarah Palin clone, post-coital presumably – but here’s the real cool part: he breaks wind.
How edgy.
How in your face.
Way to speak truth to power – even if it came out your ass.
Seriously, this is not bad for a white, balding rapper quickly approaching forty and desperately clinging to a shred of relevance – not unlike his white, balding fans already over forty desperately clinging to jobs in telemarketing. I mean, is it any wonder he’s resorting to material reused and reheated from a year old episode of Bill Maher’s Real Time – which wasn’t even funny back then.
Speaking of, it’s pretty amazing what passes for funny these days. Take Maher (please): he can joke about our troops raping foreign citizens – and no one cares. Meanwhile, within the bastion of revolution known as “Vanity Fair,” Henry Rollins – the rube who fashions himself a rebel – tells Glenn Beck fans not to breed – employing a joke that’s almost as intentionally not funny as his poetry unintentionally is. Seriously the real genius of Rollins is getting all those goateed IT employees and their frustrated girlfriends to buy his fifth grade verse. My apologies to the fifth graders. And the girlfriends.
Bottom line, there’s nothing brave or interesting about Eminem nailing Palin. Fact is, he did that because it matches the mindset of the media and the music industry. It’s as edgy as a potato. I mean, if he had balls instead of boobs, that would have been Michelle Obama, not Sarah Palin, in bed. But maybe Eminem doesn’t like black women – and for that he should be ashamed, the racist bigot.
But perhaps Emma should have just avoided politics altogether, and had his mom under the covers instead. After all, he’s been screwing her for years.
Tonight – a terrific show: Colin Quinn! Mike Baker! Patti Ann Browne! Sammy Hagar! Egads!
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79 Comments
Greg, Greg, Greggie Babbeee!!!!
You don't get it. If I ever had the opportunity to make a rap video (and I won't and you can thank the creator for that) I would chose Sarah Palin in my bed over Michelle Obama.
Why! Because Palin is actually Hot! So cut MnM some slack here for good taste even if he is a bid D word.
Patti Ann Brown – she was the teleprompter's first choice but alas he had to settle for the O. Poor Teleprompter!
Greg, Greg, Greggie Baabbeee!!!!
You don't get it. If I ever had the opportunity to make a rap video (and I won't and you can thank the creator for that) I would chose Sarah Palin in my bed over Michelle Obama.
Why! Because Palin is actually Hot! So cut MnM some slack here for good taste even if he is a bid D word.
Patti Ann Brown – she was the teleprompter's first choice but alas it had to settle for the O. Poor Teleprompter!
Bill Shultz – in Alaska he is considered a Lemming!
Isn't this the same schtick he had going when he parodied Michael Jackson? I guess that's all he's got. Take a public personality and put them in embarrassing situations. *yawn* I think it's funny that part of his justification was that hot women won't date him. I guess that's why he has to pretend Palin is in bed with him. That's the closest he can even dream of getting.
it's a twisted sort of logic that tells him by sleeping with a strong conservative woman he can somehow reclaim the manhood lost in liberalism.
This bit does seem a wee bit tired doesn't it? Sounds like the end for Slim Shady.
I've heard Eminem's rap. The air biscuits he floated in the video I'm sure showed more talent than anything that comes out of his mouth.
Take Eminem… please
the real Slim Shady can't get it up, can't get it up…
Really Glenn,
This is the worst Pinch impersonation I have seen yet. Pinch would never use his own name in a veiled insult. He'd just never demean himself that way. And surely you must know that Pinch always employs that North eastern erudite drawl in which he elongates the pronunciation of the last syllable of every bif word. He would not short cut the word Obligated as you do.
We expect a lot from Pinch impersonators since after all he is the New York Times don’t you know. I am afraid their will be no banana nut muffin at Star Bucks for you.
Really Glenn,
This is the worst Pinch impersonation I have seen yet. Pinch would never use his own name in a veiled insult. He'd just never demean himself that way. And surely you must know that Pinch always employs that North eastern erudite drawl in which he elongates the pronunciation of the last syllable of every big word. He would not short cut the word Obligated as you do.
We expect a lot from Pinch impersonators since after all he is the New York Times don’t you know. I am afraid their will be no banana nut muffin at Star Bucks for you.
Eminem is still around?
Oh, ouch. Kick a guy in his irrelevance.
Wish I had thought of it.
[...] Gutfeld says Eminem’s new video is as “edgy as a potato.” Nice line. I haven’t seen the [...]
I take it you don't like Michelle? Come to think of it, Michelle in bed with Eminem? Hmmm. Maybe it's Eminem you really don't like.
Eminem is a little late to this party don't you think? We've had the Tina Fey impersonation and a Hustler porn video for a while now, but here comes Marshall blundering in with his take on the whole thing like Ashy Larry at the World Series of Dice.
Is that on his new video? I won't watch it, but at least I can get some vicarious schadenfreude.
Pinch would reply, but he's busy sniffing coke off the tail ends of hookers with columnist David Carr.
Hmmm where are all those naysayers that said the Right was wrong about rap? :}
Or how about Viagra schadenfreude? There's a video with funny possibilities.
It is also worth noting that Eminem got the year wrong. He said it is 2020. I guess 2009 wasn't good enough for him.
In better times, this would provoke riots and several hundred dozen challenges to duel. Mathers would be whipped and thrown in the stocks for public entertainment.
In better times a man wouldn't name himself after a children's candy-coated chocolate treat.
And in better times sarcastic indifference would be recognized as a dishonorable custom of a debased and submissive people.
Where. We're not saying anything because this rap is crap…it's the same schtick that Eminem has done for years. It's boring. Also, the people that were saying the right was wrong about rap were from the right…like myself, Tim Slagle and 100's of other posters who agreed that rap isn't bad. Heck, Em used to be good but like Brian Hines pointed out he became sucky when he thought he was important.
He's said nastier things about Hillary (on a song from his 1999 album). Still, it's sad he feels the need to use Palin's name for attention.
Blessedly, Zach Selwyn hasn't completely abandoned rap for the life of a desert cowboy. He truly is the last hope for a rap genre becoming less and less relevant. http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/white_problems/
You nailed it. Nothing more than a grab for attention. He needs to use something other than the Madonna playbook. It's just too obvious and pathetic.
Saw the video. 90% of the lyrics won't be relevant or make any sense in five years. It is completely pointless. And I used to be a fan.
Seriously. Tonight, while playing my music collection on "random", Eminem's "Slim Shady" came on. That led to two thoughts:
1. Whatever happened to him?
2. This song really didn't age well.
Excellent post.
What a disgusting pig. I think his "comeback" video will certainly seal his fate as a permanent fixture on VH1 "Where are They Now?" episodes.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
Greg, Greg, Greggie Baabbeee!!!!
You don't get it. If I ever had the opportunity to make a rap video (and I won't and you can thank the creator for that) I would chose Sarah Palin in my bed over Michelle Obama.
Why! Because Palin is actually Hot! So cut MnM some slack here for good taste even if he is a big D word.
Patti Ann Brown – she was the teleprompter's first choice but alas it had to settle for the O. Poor Teleprompter!
Bill Shultz – in Alaska he is considered a Lemming!
I think it was pretty funny. He used the same chick in the porn flick. Hahahah
Making money is Eminem's excuse for creating stinky super-sewer-sized drek, I get that.
But, what is up with the people who actually PAY to consume all that stinky super-sewer-sized drek?
Are audiences not just a tad bit humiliated by the nasty stains all over their faces after each Kingdom Hollywood performance?
On the other hand, maybe they really like eating crap dig deep from the bowels of Darwinian apes.
come on greg, it was hilarious. one of his best
But, but…I like what Gutfeld writes. Is your idea of "fresh" the PuffHo with its 5000 apotheoses of Obama? Now that is cutting and edgy social analysis!
That is bizarre, I was just trying to think of the word "apotheosis." Something in the Zeitgeist, I guess. Nice moniker.
is it just me or is Em trying to make a bret michaels reference? Look at the photo accompanying the article.
Hey jerkweed!! I'm a goateed IT guy and I'm on YOUR side!!
talk about a bigot…..
That's what I was about to ask. Isn't he pretending to be Bret Michaels in bed with Sarah Palin? Therefore not really "himself"? With that asked, is he congratulating Michaels in a sort of weird twisted way?
Sorry, confused myself…what was I talking about?
Yeah, the Rollins thing really was kinda uncalled-for. I don't know whether gut's just lazy taking shots like that, or whether he really has some fundamental problem recognizing the difference between different ranks of geeks.
So Gut, here's a hint: the people who like Rollins might also use computers a lot, but that doesn't make them "IT employees" anymore than this wry, witty little blog entry makes you Mark Twain.
And for those of you out there who still take Rollins seriously and are desperately trying to overcome the addiction, two words: Johnny. Mnemonic. You're welcome.
Oh man, if I knew you were gonna take my name in vain like that I'd never have repped you.
maybe, of course maybe he's saying Michaels surrounds him self with wanna be pour-n stars. Or that Palin is hot enough to be a pour-n star. either way it is some sort of a fantasy.
there has got to be some Freudian stuff in there somewhere.
The problem with swapping michelle obama for sarah palin is that michelle obama isnt hot……at all.
Eminem has always released some poppy celebrity bashing song before his album comes out, he has been doing it ever since his very first album, and those are all the songs that suck, and he has even said that publicly. Sad fact is, he can pretty much rap about anything in a song and it will sell millions…..even if hes 36.
Wierd Al did a better job of mocking Eminem with his hacked up interview than Eminem could ever do to anyone else…
Rollins is about 2 chromosomes shy of an orangutan, his music isn't even relevant anymore.
Here's some advise for people like Rollins: It's better to remain silent and have everyone in the room think you're an idiot, than to open your yap and remove all doubt…..
Ya in the song Role Model from 1999 he said this:
"Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert,
I ripped her [expletive] tonsils out and fed her sherbet"
Must have been before being a "liberal" was cool.
And even that is completely without creativity.
Is he supposed to be tough for threatening to beat up a woman?
just pathetic…..
All you morons judging Eminem's music on this snotty little review or his single are exactly the insult earlier exclaimed in this sentence. Morons.
Eminem's singles, especially the jokey ones are nothing to go by in terms of what he's got to say as an artist or musically.
He purposely dumbs them down and is forced by record execs to make them catchy to spark initial interest in his albums.
You cretins will eat your words when his album drops May 19 and shuts up all the ignorant turds on this planet.
Eminem is, and always has been, a hack.
But Glenn Beck fans shouldn't breed.
Man I don't know what they've done to the comment threading around this place, other than make it auto-collapse, but this is all screwed up.
Sometimes less is more, guys.
Well with the Enabler in Chief one can expect tastelessness of this kind, I suppose.
Much more serious:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/20...
Dem NY Senator beats up his girlfriend on 4 security camera's so ''the Party for Women' throws him a fundraiser party.
Obama Bought The Presidency
Man I don't know what they've done to the comment threading around this place, other than make it auto-collapse, but this is all screwed up.
Technology is neat and fun but sometimes less is more, guys.
yeah, no kiddin'- that Eminem feller sure is topical.
Apparently his next video features eminem making fun of airlines not being on time and serving those little bags of peanuts, as well as a devastating satire of Star Wars.
Gads, what a dope.
What a duncecap this clown is. Is it time for an overdose or shooting?
Way to go, Gutfeld. I also noticed as I looked for a Facebook page for Red Eye, I saw nothing but HATE… from the people who were complaining that Red Eye and Gutfeld were full of HATE. It's about time someone on the right has the balls to say what needs to be said.
I think we have a winner (nice call, BP)! Bret Michaels, Pennsylvania's less-than-finest. While I will admit watching every episode of Rock of Love Season 1, haven't watched his VH1 train wrecks since, and have put his bandana'ed head out of my noggin'. Also doing my best to wrap my head around the fact Poison's got higher billing than Cheap Trick on the Def Leppard tour this summer. Sigh…
Weird Al love — awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPwBdnknGIs
Al also does a great job "interviewing" lib doofus Michael Stipe. http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&s...
I've said it before but I'll say it again: "free spirited" artists who fall in like Eloi in THE TIME MACHINE when the Cult of the State beckons. I understand George Bernard Shaw–nudist, atheist, vegetarian–had kind words for Il Duce. Now people not half as intelligent as GBS enroll willingly in the service of Il Dufe.
if he really wants to take on "the man" like he has always done in the past with Bush & Clinton he should have ripped on Obama…..but that would have been way uncool.
Like there is actually something to rip on Obama about (said in the most sarcastic tone of voice ever).
By the way (I scanned previous comments but may have missed it if it were mentioned), is that Lisa Ann (star of the porno Palin spoof "Who's Nailin' Paylin?") in the picture with Eminem?
The question isn't whether or not fake-crier GB fans should breed, but who would WANT to with them!
ABLOO BLOO BLOO I LOVE MY COUNTRY BLOO BLOO BLOO SO MUCH WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH LET'S HAVE SCARY CRYING SEX ABLOO BLOO BLOO
For an irrelevant has been, Eminem sure seems to be in a position powerful enough to make a two-bit right-wing wannabe blogger get his panties all up in a bunch and calling people names. Eminem has more money, power, and influence than gutless Gutfeld could ever possibly dream of having.
You just don't get it. Everyone in the Republican party is a nonsensical farcical joke!
So when do we get to hear the bastard raising Palin preaching to the world about how to raise our families?
Remember when O'Reilly squarely put the blame on the parents of Britney Spears and her sister when her sister became pregnant as a teenager; blaming the weak parents and their weak morals for the creation of the bastard child? Why did his anger and repugnance of the Spears family not carry over to the Palin's own miserable failures as parents?
Any guesses?
it is EDGY! Its post modern. You expect something sophisticated and clever… and Eminem basically laughs and says: Fooled ya! the only "clever" part is that Em is laughing all of the way to the bank.
By way of full disclosure I don't listen to rap music and only know who Eminem is because my girlfriends daughter used to be a big fan. (She is now 19 and now considers him irrelevant..) Having said that I can only applaud Greg's observaiton about how "edgy" and "irreverant" artists all seem to be edgy and irreverant in exactly the same way. It takes zero amount of artistic "courage" for Eminem to "take on" Sarah Palin because everyone in his "community" already agrees with him. I can assure everyone out there that Mr. Mathers is entirely safe from any retaliatory efforts by Gov. Palin, her family or anyone from the Alaska State Police . Eminem is what nearly everyone in the mainstream media, entertainment and clebrity culture is……a poseur who is only "brave" whent the target is an approved sitting duck. Now if he was in bed with Sen. Chris Dodd that would be different.
Em and WHO?
Just a little insight into the life of Miles and his "friend." This is scary stuff people, not for the squeamish.
A little on Henry Rollins. Can someone tell me what exactly does he do? I mean I think he says he goes to an office. But, what does he do?
Just a thought.
Sarah Palin who? Man, she can barely keep it together this days.
check it out:
"Levi Johnston: Palin is lying"
The father of Sarah Palin’s grandchild accused the Alaska governor on Wednesday of lying about him and his family.
Levi Johnston said during an interview on CBS’s “Early Show” that he moved into the governor’s house a few weeks before Bristol Palin gave birth to their child.
Palin’s camp has denied the claim, but Johnston insisted the governor is not telling the truth. “They said I didn't live there,” he said. “I was like, 'OK, well, whatever you want to call it. I had my stuff there.'”
Asked if the Palin was lying about him, Johnston simply said: “Yes.”
rest of article here: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0409/21039.h...
I hate when orangutans are bashed here for no reason; they're noble beasts until some morons try to F with them!
Sounds like jealousy to me.
I never figured out exactly what she stood for, politically speaking. But you can tell that the rest of her carreer will be gossip gossip gossip. Why all this? Her personal style as a celebrity makes her an attractive target of the whole "entertainment journalism" scene. She's been forever cast out to pasture as fodder for the TMZ / Eminem / E-channel scene. Is it a media hit job?? Did a media hit job make her daughter get pregnant? Did a media hit job make her daughter get pregnant by a guy like this Levi Johnston? Somehow I don't think the American people really want to her what Levi Johnston has to say about this or that for the next so many years!
LOL you guys, all of you, write some good screed. Very enjoyable, some funnier than the Gut!
Thanks,
NYKeith
These has been wiggers need an new angle to spoof up the gigs he needs to try and be relative once again.
He should be teaming up with heavy metal music as should all tv and film and show the anger equally.
"Way to speak truth to power – even if it came out your ass."
Isn't that the only way it is done?!?
It'll be interesting to see eminem in twenty years, post racial-identity-crisis, post fame to see if he thinks he was as much of a d-bag as we do.
Well by all means, let's give the little has-been the incensed response he expects. If he's that irrelevant – a conclusion with which I don't disagree – then why's he even worth the effort of a story?
I await the local defenders of the art of rap (cough) to stand up for their token white guy.
[Edit: Vanilla Ice, Kid Rock, and (apparently) Linkin Park notwithstanding.]
[Edit 2: Linkin Park? A rap group? Really, Hudnall? REALLY?]
Boy, lots of hate for nearly 40 white rappers? I don't get it. He spoofs, did you think he'd spoof the 1st Black President's wife as a credible Hip-Hop artist? No way. That's idiotic to think he would. I haven't heard the song or seen the video but this still appears to be a spoof of Bret Michaels (VH1's "Rock of Love" series) as well.
I'll have to check it out to see if it's any more offensive than anything else I've heard…I doubt it will be any more offensive than much of the attack-dog left and the intent is likely way less politically motivated.
I'll check it out.
How sick, twisted and nasty lefties are. Just have to stoop to calling a poor innocent baby a bastard don't you. Sick S.O.B anyway. Eat worms and die sicko!
That's a great point! I guess a liberal woman would just complain the entire time about being treated like a piece of dirt and that she's doing this, but under protest.
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