An “OPEN” Letter to Henry Rollins
by Greg GutfeldDear Henry,
I used to think you were pretty cool – way back when you fronted the greatest punk band ever (The Vandals), and well before you became a tedious purveyor of the “spoken word.” But now I see you for what you truly are – a wuss. Roll tape.
I just read your open letter to Ann Coulter – the one where you ask her to work for you as a way to teach her tolerance – and so she’ll “shut the f*ck up.”
No contradiction there.
But I suppose this is how you define yourself as “edgy,” being five years or so too late in your feeble swing at the go-to punching bag for the predictable progressive hack. Calling her “girlfriend?” Referring to her “one thousand yard stare?” Replacing “man” with Ann? You’ve left no cliche unturned. Something tells me, though, your audience still laps it up. See, you don’t just preach to the choir – you give it a reach around.
During your rant, you tell Ann, “you used to be funny,” mocking her “silly books,” and on her career you wonder, “where can it go from here?”
The same can all be said for you (except the “used to be funny” part). And something tells me this is more about you, than her. Look, Ann doesn’t need me to defend her, and I’m not. I just need to tell everyone – in my own, thoughtful open letter – why you’re so bent out of shape by her.
You’re a wuss.
Last night, the great comic Jim Norton pointed it out to me: you’re a wannabee comedian who avoids the risk of being a comedian. Instead, you hide behind this “spoken word” schtick. That way if no one laughs, it wasn’t supposed to be funny anyway. Castratos have more balls.
One thing you have to give Ann – she ventures into enemy territory. You don’t. And that’s why you hate Coulter – because she’s better at being you, than you are. She’s not a comedian – she’s a raconteur – and sells more books in a sneeze than you will ever do in a lifetime. So maybe attacking Coulter, you think, might gain some cache at the daily Kos.
Forget your music – this is what makes you truly, a punk.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
265 Comments
You hit the nail right on the head Greg, really good article.
Way to be a gentleman Rollins, just because she's a better human being than you….
Rollins was the front-man for Black Flag, not the Vandals.
Nice post. I think, however, that Rollins was the lead singer of Black Flag, before his solo career.
“You don’t just preach to the choir, you give it a reach around” Oh God I wish I had thought of that line!!!
Greg, what sewers do you have to wade through to even find this stinking piece of crap? You are spot on re: this never-was hack. The ghost of Johnny Ramone wouldn’t piss on this guy if he was on fire.
i’ve seen his act. eerily similar to kathy griffin. only i suspect rollins would look better in a dress.
Holy Crapfest, Batman! That “letter” reads like the ravings of a demented stalker. If Rollins thinks that’s some kind of political commentary, all that imagery sounds more like his own late night musings with a bottle of Astroglide and a box of tissues.
Yikes.
FYI: Rollins, you are definitely too old to be called a punk anymore, but you sure aren’t a rebel either. Conformity to the eunuch brigade is the path to irrelevancy.
Dayum, I heard that slap down all the way through my monitor!
Next Please!
Dear Greg,
You rock. I mean it. Swear to God. Rollins is such a dolt that I completely forgot he used to be a musician. Doesn’t that make him a “has been?” To me, he will always be a “never was.” Personally, I think that was a love letter to Ann from a sad, pathetic excuse of a z-list “please remember me” celebrity who just loves her blond hair, groovy boots & sharp wit. Love your show. By the way, what does the sign “Warning, think cover” mean? Keep up the great work. We need more voices like yours. =^^=
Rollins’s is one of those people who believed that his success in music and the ability of his targeted audience to identify with his sexist views made him a natural to move to liberal commentator. He is little more than a child — someone hiding behind the muscles, the promotion of abuse of women and violence against society as a mechanism to hide his insecurities.
He fails to understand (or appreciate) that his gift as a talented musician does not translate into his commentating skills. As with most in Hollywood, throughout the political spectrum, their opinions are not sought after. Henry — STFU.
Rollins, an ex-neighbor of mine, wasn’t even the best lead singer for Black Flag.
That’d be Keith.
Anyway, real brave going after Coulter. I’d like to see him try and debate her face to face. Dude would get pwned hard
Well said, as usual Greg. I used to like Henry too, but sadly, he’s become a mere gutter-snipe pandering to the left. Is it me, or in his video, did he appear to have a slight tint of green to his face. Envy, I wonder? At least Ann has the balls to say what she believes. It’s pretty risky for Rollins to attack her, isn’t it, considering how many friends Ann has in the media. I suppose when you haven’t been very successful recently at spoken-word poetry, acting, or writing, you have to resort to caveman-like fantasies.
Nice. Very nice. It’s difficult to capture, in a nutshell, the problem with Rollins.
He’s become self-satisfied and quite the pseudo-intellectual.
His comeuppance is deserved and past due.
I’ve thought Henry Rollins is a moronic douche for some time now. That is until I read Greg Gutfeld’s take on him. Now I see that stupidity is relative.
An “Open” Comment to Greg “Poseur” Gutfeld,
Well I guess if Henry is a wuss, then that makes you a douche, since you committed a major fact check error in your opening sentence. Although The Vandals did have some decent material, they were not Black Flag, and to state that Henry Rollins was in The Vandals is utterly ridiculous.
Get a clue and perhaps your listening to too much disco music,
T.
See, you don’t just preach to the choir – you give it a reach around.
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
OMG, I am so stealin’ that.
Yes, and a “wee little” punk at that!
Black Flag… not the Vandals.
Hear, hear…
If I were not already married, and you addicted to house boys, I would take you on an exotic vacation. Like to a motel in Nebraska.
You rock.
This is like listening to a 14 year old with his first Playboy.
Does he really think we want to watch his verbal masturbation? Henry really ought to let his writings rest overnight before hitting the publish button.
“Well I guess if Henry is a wuss, then that makes you a douche”
This bold, witty and creative insult is among the best I have ever seen on the web.
owned.
Bravo.
Henry who?
You nailed it! Of course, Henry was actually in the Sex Pistols…followed by a short stint with the Clash. He decided he should go, instead of stay.
I’m sure that as someone who is actually capable of being funny, it must offend you to have tools like this do these things. The worst part? I bet he actually thinks it’s funny. And his “friends” are probably afraid to tell him otherwise.
exceedingly good greg and completely dead on. thanks for the joy this justified and necessary evisceration gave me.
OMG I just about wet myself when I read that … Ironically that one line may be the biggest B-slap in the entire piece.
I too used to be a fan of Rollins (back in the “vandals” days too *snicker*).
But like most leftists (especially punk rock leftists) he confuses snarky intolerance for wit.
Geez, only the biggest tools of liberals would even think of the video as slightly funny or creative.
Dukowski and Ginn carried his ass anyway.
He’s a tired hack. Going from generation to generation and trying to remain relevant. Leftists are just pissed that they fell for it, but the rest of us still think for ourselves. STFU, Hank.
Unfortunately, Henry Rollins has been a two dimensional cut out of shock factor for the last couple of years. In a sense he sold out his being “out there” when he came in to work at IFC. He makes dysfunctional commercial.
True, Greg. Plus I have a feeling that if Coulter moved in with Rollins, he’d be surprised which one would be the servile one.
(And it is impressive how he makes menacing sexual references. But that is OK, he’s liberal.)
Nice smackdown.
Giving the choir a reach around? I heard that Rick Warren spit out his Kwanzaa cake when Rahm Emanuel read that to him at Invocation rehearsal.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for saying this. Henry Rollins hasn’t been relevant for oh, I don’t know, about 15 years now. I love little Jimmy Norton’s comment also. Perfect. Henry Rollins is a total load and a complete asshat.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Rollins is an angry, lefty, has-been entertainer who is struggling with the reality of his irrelevance.
Like you, I enjoyed his music back when I was a teenager. Black Flag was one of the many punk bands I blared from my radio as I went through my growing pains (along with DRI, Circle Jerks, Dead Kennedys…yes, I do have some street cred).
Thankfully, unlike Henry, I grew up.
Oh man. So that’s how it’s done. Remind me to stay on your good side, Greg.
Gutfeld,
you ROCK. Red Eye and Brit Hume (erp, Bret Baier, erp, sp?, Special Report) are the only two shows I vcr and watch religiously.
Joe Escalante is the only real punk left
Gut – What a brutal, concise and well deserved take down of Rollins. That guy was insufferable as Black Flag’s vocalist and has become a self centered pissant.
Wuss and a jerk.
Shabbat Shalom.
Gutfeld, you make me laugh. Which is a good thing because I growing weary of strangling. I literally cannot stand huge swaths of human beings anymore. I daydream of turning into AH-Nold and mowing people down with a chain gun ala Predator and T-2. Rollins would be somewhere in that pink mist – so thank you Gutty, and liberals, er communists thank Gutty too.
Very accurate portrayal of the cheap shot taken at Ann Coulter by Henry Rollins.
Rollins continues to revel in the well-accepted and worn tactics of the liberal far left.
I would be willing to wager, and with great confidence, that Greg would not say these words to Henry Rollins’ face. Which is pretty much all you need to know both about the screed and the ‘television personality’ who wrote it.
Dear Greg,
I’d say that you used to be funny, but I have no idea who you are. I’m starting to think that Big Hollywood allows anybody to blog here, as long as they are on the RIGHT.
Let me set a little bit of this straight. Henry Rollins fronted Black Flag, not the Vandals.
He was not years behind in taking a swipe at Coulter. Your You Tube clip is almost 3 years old. And besides, as long as Coulter is still swinging wildly, people will still swing back.
Spoken word and stand up comedy are not the same thing. Jim Norton should know that, even if you don’t but since the right seems to favor Larry the Cable Guy, Jim may be a little frustrated with where he fits in at this point. Maybe another round table show with Patrice and an embarrassed looking Artie Lang will be picked up. But I’m not posting to slam Jim Norton; he seems like a nice guy; supports the troops and all that and may not be aware or particularly pleased that you are using something he may or may not have said to bolster your Henry Rollins is wuss argument. (does anybody still say wuss?)
Henry Rollins is not everybody’s cup of tea and needless to say either is Ann Coulter. But if you are going to do a hack job on your blog, get your facts right. If Henry Rollin’s open letter says more about him than about Coulter as you claim… then dare I say that your reference to the “reach around” says more about you than it does Rollins. But as a liberal, I have no problem with you being gay.
Elaine
That man is a piece of trash. No tolerance is right for some people, but mostly for him.
So-called “progressives”–”edgy”? Since when? Statism has probably around since the caveman with the biggest club decided he was king of the ruling class and that all the other cave people needed to “spread the wealth” by giving him their best woolly-mammoth skins and sabretooth-tiger-tusks. You know, for the Good of the Cave.
Who’s Henry Rollins? I think Ann Coulter could kick his a$$.
“See, you don’t just preach to the choir – you give it a reach around.”
Priceless, yet I feel your are doing the same thing here…
Greg,
So on target with Rollins. I remember watching him way back during the 92 election on Politically Incorrect on Comedy Central. Maher built his appearance up all night at the closing of election night I believe it was. Being 22 and naive at the time I was pumped for his spoken word on the election. When he finally took stage (at that time PI looked like a local cable access studio) what a let down. A five minute rambling, incoherent, mess of a diatribe. Pathetic. Spoken word my ass…that was it for me. Stick to Black Flag pal. And now nearly twenty years later he is still at wuss LIAR!!!!
Keep em coming Greg. By the way you needed more air time on Fox New Years. Hemer could have used you to step in for his frozen ass.
It does get better and better, doesn’t it? The youtube clip is three years old. And Greg, in a failed move to establish a little street cred, doesn’t even know the name of the band Rollins was in. (While calling the wrong band the best punk band ever. Heh.)
“Castratos have more balls.”
Ann has more balls.
Ain’t it the truth.
you just had rollins with a nice chianti and some fava beans. owned!
Well said, Greg. I can recall that at some point he had a music video on MTV and he was in the movie Johnny Mnemonic (it takes real “talent” to make the acting performances of Dolph Lundgren and Ice T look Oscar worthy in comparison). He has truly failed to be funny or edgy in his open letters. Perhaps if he was slightly less predictable than a baby in a blender, someone might force a laugh for his benefit.
See, you don’t just preach to the choir – you give it a reach around.
I think WE ALL wish we’d thought of that!
God don’t you people ever watch Red Eye??? Greg knows his music and his bands..he is being funny by the band/siger mix up…jeez…you mock him for not doing proper research and then you don’t…
Greg…awesome as usual…you keep me coming back!
That is hucking filarious. Good Job Greg!
SHAZZING!!!
Somebody hand me a towel.
I forever will be a fan of Rollins ban (well at least the work before “Weight”). And much of his early spoken word (smoking the filter era) is great stuff which would fall in line more as comedy/life experience, Hanks letter falls in line with his traditional style and prose, but its lacking in the depth of his previous work. It was too easy, and thats what makes it wussy, not so much the content, but the choice of such an easy target.
For the record, I believe Rollins first band was State of Alert, and then he joined Black Flag.
Rollins is cooler than Mann ever will be.
Question is – why does Mann have a manly Adam’s Apple and large hands? Is her real name Lola?
Katie, you’re far too kind. And no, no one watches Red Eye.
Test message
Tried to post this before, comments are kinda wacky on here today, hopefully it’ll work this time…I saw Rollins on VHI’s 100 greatest hard rock songs sometime this past week, offering guest commentary, and he was prominently wearing a t-shirt advertising IAVA.org. I don’t know anything about them beyond their website, but from that, they seem to be a pretty straightforward “Support the Troops” kinda group. Between that, and his general attitude, I always figured Rollins for a Nugent-esque pro-defense libertarian type, not a liberal.
Anyone know anything about the IAVA, whether they’ve got any sort of hidden agenda that isn’t evident from their website?
Priceless, yet I feel your are doing the same thing here…
Hardly.
He’s barely massaging my thigh, the bastard.
Oh that video was a piece of work and so is he… Ya think he has a problem with women in general??? A He was in Black Flag Greg don’t ya know hehe They’ll get used to you give it time!
Ok, that clip was just plain stupid.
>>I’d say that you used to be funny, but I have no idea who you are. I’m starting to think that Big Hollywood allows anybody to blog here, as long as they are on the RIGHT.<>Let me set a little bit of this straight. Henry Rollins fronted Black Flag, not the Vandals.<<
Probably a joke… if he is calling the Vandals the greatest punk band ever, don’t you think he’d at least know who the lead singer was, or at least who it WASN’T?
CAUSE HE’S A LIAR!
Let me try this again… it got rid of part of my comment…
>>I’d say that you used to be funny, but I have no idea who you are. I’m starting to think that Big Hollywood allows anybody to blog here, as long as they are on the RIGHT.<<
What part of Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld on the Fox News Channel don’t you understand?
Again Greg I am laughing my ass off at everyone of those above who thought they were correcting you regarding Rollins on the Vandals. You really dragged a bunch this time and it is always funny. I guess I always imangine some noodle head at the key board with pursed lips saying “Oh, that is just incorrect. It is my duty to correct it as I have no other life”.
I want to like this website, but commentary like this makes it more difficult.
The video clip is 2 1/2 years old, which makes your reference to Rollins being years late sound foolish.
Also, which is it – are the Vandals the greatest punk band ever or is Black Flag? Nevermind answering, my point is that you come across as as much of a hack that you are painting Rollins to be when you can’t even get the name of his old band straight. If you can’t even get that right, how are you even qualified to declare any punk band the “greatest ever” and if you are just making stuff up and getting basic facts wrong, why should I pay attention? Answer: I shouldn’t.
Rollins is past his heyday and I sure don’t agree with his politics but having met the man years ago more at the peak of his career, I can say that he treated me (a nobody) very respectfully and gave me more of his time than was necessary. I thought that was very classy of the guy. Taking cheap shots at someone else taking cheap shots (and I don’t excuse cheap shots he’s taken) doesn’t exactly advance your cause in my mind.
Fabulous and if you disagree, then sir, you are worse than Hitler!!!
“Let me set a little bit of this straight. Henry Rollins fronted Black Flag, not the Vandals.”
I’m genuinely curious. When jokes fly over your head, do you hear any noises?
Finally, someone says what I’ve been thinking for along time. That Henry Rollins is nothing more than a poser. Good for you Greg.
“agnosticj – January 9th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Rollins was the front-man for Black Flag, not the Vandals.”
haha.. again people, try and watch the show Redeye and maybe we can avoid this type of post from happening EVERY single time Gutfeld posts. Maybe you should stop listening to your brand new copy of Chinese Democracy from the seminal band The Doors, and use your time to bone up on Gutfeld! By the way, the Doors Frontman- David Bowie, really sounds good on this album!
Yes, Greg. Yes.
I’m sure Henry Rollins is crestfallen that the fat, washed-up former editor of Maxim doesn’t find him cool anymore.
Nick
Paul Rieckhoff, the founder of IAVA is an Iraq veteran that is hostile to the Bush Administration and the War in Iraq. He is supportive of issues facing the troops, but he is not without a political agenda, and an axe to grind, in some respects.
Great blog, Greg and I agree with you 100%!
I think the next 4 years are going to be interesting as it appeares that certain people are going to be attacking anyone that’s even slightly to the right of them without any reservations whether they are correct or not while the mainstream media supports their every move.
I’d like to be living under a rock for the next 4 years, but doing nothing is almost as bad as being one of the people attacking the right for just opposing their view of the way things should be.
Oh well.
Wow! He sure has some sorta itch to mount Ann for dominance.
Rollins’ letter says more about him than it does about Ann Coulter. I’m not even an Ann Coulter fan, but I can admit she has more balls than that sniveling little wanna-be-relevant chump.
Of course Rollin’s wasn’t in the Vandals. The Gut KNOWS that. Do all of you people really not get it or are you being intentionally obtuse?
Roidneck Rollins.
Read a little Joseph Campbell and thenceforth pronounced himself “deep.”
Otherwise operates on rock-star autopilot, parrots all the easy and safe political positions.
Henry Rollins gave up his punk credentials when he started doing spoken word.
It appears that Greg has the band name wrong and if the clip is almost 3 years old, then he was only 2 years late (Greg said 5).
No matter.
Henry Rollins is a such a parody that someone with enough time on their hands could no doubt assemble and edit 90 minutes of his clips together and it would be a rockumentary of unintentional comedy on par with Spinal Tap.
I’ve always said that only on MTV and in Rolling Stone could Marilyn Manson be considered an intellectual. Well if MTV and Rolling Stone won’t even consider you an intellectual (maybe they do, I avoid both like the plague ridden rats they are) that’s REALLY something.
I would presume then that any Henry Rollins record would not be considered for great ‘conservative’ music. Still laughing at that post, GG. I’ve said enough about that weenie Rollins.
Cheers.
Rollins gave up his punk credentials when he started doing spoken word.
Hell the only good thing he has done in the last decade is re-release DEVO’s Shout album.
NOTE to all you wannabe COPY EDITORS pointing out the Vandals/Black Flag thing:
Gutfeld did that on purpose. Watch RedEye, he does it all the time and laughs his face off. If he’s ripping on Elton John, he’ll say, “Elton, you showed promise back when you sang for Genesis, but …”
I laughed, I cried, I yelled, and I screamed.
I loved this.
Henry Rollins is a tool.
Greg I hope you ARE gay… cuz I LOVE YOU!!!
“It’s Black Flag not The Vandals!!!!!!”
Sheer genius.
You’re killin’ me!!!
Killin’ me!!!!!
To the people who keep pointing out the obvious fact that Henry was the frontman of Black Flag and not The Vandals….Greg was being sarcastic.
Ryan,
Thanks for translating Greg’s — sorry, ‘the Gut’ — sarcasm. Seems a little obscure. But bad writing has a way of burying comic intentions.
Now as to the age of the clip itself….
Elaine, You didn’t need to tell us you were a liberal. It was pretty obvious.
Greg’s ‘vandals’ slip was obviously not a slip…he was taking a shot…and greg is far more punk rock than henry rollins…
“It was also a subculture that scornfully rejected the political idealism and Californian flower-power silliness of hippie myth.”
Greg well done as usual although If you check your punk rock research guide it was Mike Ness who fronted the vandals with their big hit “London Calling”. Henry Rollins was the drunmmer from Maroon 5 when they did their amazing show at the “Jones town Live free or die” festival
“See, you don’t just preach to the choir – you give it a reach around.” Greg, I suppose what you lack in self awareness you make up in ironic statements. Keep speaking truth to power!
Who is this lame? Just another lib with a spewage mouth that has an internet connection…big deal..but at least he is paying attention to Ann Coulter and taking time out of his washed up day to let everyone know…lame
Loved Henry when he was with Black Flag and even some of his early “spoken word” stuff. Sorry to see he’s become a hack for the fashionable left.
Rollins’ best work was with Blink 182, before he joined Limp Bizkit.
For a 50 year old man with a thyroid problem, he does an amazing imitation of the Diane Arbus scowling retarded grenade boy.
http://anuvuestudio.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/diane_arbus_03.jpg
Greg you are the man. I was wondering when someone was going to put this tool back in the box!!! I guess old Henry must be starving for attention since IFC cancelled his lame show and found a chance to get some by jumping on Ms. Coulter coat tails. For the record, FEAR was the best 80’s punk band.
I would send him a copy of her new book but I think he took enough money off of me when I was a kid and I bought his albums.
Cheers,
Sean
Olympia, Washington
You must be logged in to post a comment.