The Great Beer Summit of 2009
by Gary GrahamEvent in progress…we go LIVE to Washington, D.C.
…reporting live on this historic occasion. A crisis of epic proportions may have been averted…by an invitation from the White House to simply sit down …and have a beer. This creatively innovative and charmingly elegant President has thrown the old book out and is writing his own. It’s the audacity of hope and change we can believe in. It’s a new deal and a new dawning of how business gets done today – over beers. It has been hinted by White House sources that if today’s summit goes well, possibly other summits may be in the offing. My source in the Administration said a possible Vodka Fest with Vladimir Putin, a Hookah Pipe Sit-Down with Ahmadinejad, and even a Sake/Mao-tai/RiceCake pow wow with Kim Jong-Il are being floated as of this broadcast with the State Department, Keith Olbermann and Oprah Winfrey.
And now, the President’s helicopter has landed. The President’s contingent of roughly three thousand security personnel are assuming their perimeters, extension perimeters and contingency perimeters.
Sgt. Crowley and Professor Gates await the President beside the picnic table arranged for this seminal benchmark in race relations in America.
The beer is on ice – a large keg bearing the Presidential Seal.
And finally, President Obama emerges from the helicopter… now he salutes the Marine guard… and, following his entourage of executive security, walks through the park and approaches the bench. The President’s gate appears regal…yet relaxed.
Now Professor Gates walks forward to greet him. The President takes his hand… bows down to him, as is the President’s custom…and now… they…they seem to be doing an extensive ‘brother’ handshake and shoulder bump. Now a hip bump…both sides…and the booty wiggle and strut…fist bumps and finger snaps…crotch grab, that’s a new one…and finally they seem to be done.
And now the President turns to Sgt. Gates and offers a formal handshake. Could that be construed as a ‘white-man’s handshake’? You make the call. And now…the President is saying something to Sgt. Crowley…he’s apparently impressed Crowley showed up with his own beer. Let’s see if we can get a boom mic in to hear…
Sgt. Crowley – “…and I don’t know, sir…my mom always told me ‘never show up to a party empty-handed,’ so…
The President laughs and claps him on the back.
President Obama – “Classic! Could you be any whiter?”
Sgt. Crowley – “Ha ha..well…blame it on my mom.”
Prof. Gates – “Yo Mama.”
Sgt. Crowley – “Yes, that’s right.”
Prof. Gates – “Budweiser. Fool didn’t even bring Stella Artois. You show up with Bud. You just assume ‘cause I’m a Black man in America that I drink Bud? That’s racist!”
Sgt. Crowley appears to look on with some confusion.
Prof. Gates – “I suppose you ‘spected me to bring a forty? Of what, Colt-45? You think I gonna drink a malt liquor? That’s racist!”
Sgt. Crowley is popping open a Bud and.. just shaking his head.
President Obama – “Gentlemen – can we all take a picture together? Shaking hands?”
The three men are now posing together… Crowley and Gates, beaming for the camera in a handclasp… the President standing behind them… a hand on each shoulder. Truly, a Sadat/Begin/Carter Middle East Peace Accord moment. The cameras are flashing a fusillade of strobes. Oh…the history in the making…a thrill up all our legs! And this reporter is quite certain …a Nobel Peace Prize waiting in the wings of his legacy.
President Obama – “Sgt. Crowley, I still can’t get over you bringing a six-pack!”
Prof. Gates – “Now wait a second, here, Mr. President. I coulda brought beer. I didn’t bring nothing cuz I assumed, being an invitation of the White House, that beer would be provided.”
President Obama – “As indeed we have. Gentlemen!”
On a cue from the President, now the Executive Staff rush in and pour beers for the Professor and the President, while apparently Sgt. Crowley is staying with his Bud.
It seems the Professor is hesitating…
Prof. Gates – “Is that Stella? I only drink Stella.”
President Obama – “Of course it’s Stella. I’m the President of the United States of America.”
Sgt. Crowley – “Thanks, I’ve got a Bud.”
The President is taking a seat at the picnic table alongside the Professor, opposite Sgt. Crowley. The President just sipped his beer. He smacked his lips and beamed his famous smile, in clear executive pleasure. Oh my… he has never looked more commanding!
President Obama – “Nothing like a nice beer on a hot summer day.”
Sgt. Crowley – “I agree, Mr. President.”
Prof. Gates – “True dat.”
And now…oh yes. I was worried, but there they are. The Executive Assistants are being careful to remain just out of camera frame as they set up the Presidential Teleprompters on either side of the President.
Sgt. Crowley is looking a bit…dubious… obviously overwhelmed by the grandeur of the moment…but he says nothing.
And now…ladies and gentlemen…the President of the United States of America –
President Obama – (reading, turning to the left…then the right) “So, I’m glad we could come together here in this beautiful park on this momentous occasion to mark the turning point in global race relations. The symbolism of this one important act will resound throughout history. And I think we have some pretzels.”
The security force is producing several bowls of pretzels now…
Prof. Gates – “Are those Roll-Gold? I only eat Roll-Gold.”
Sgt. Crowley – “Thank you, Mr. President.”
President Obama – “Now. I am hoping that on this historic occasion, we can at last and for all time, mend the broken fence of interracial relations. We have the opportunity here to establish a global accord on this day…over beers…to cement a new understanding between races of tolerance and understanding and brotherhood. And can we top off those beers for you guys?”
Sgt. Crowley is declining still sticking with his first Budweiser as Prof. Gates accepts a refill. I’m not sure at this point if it’s a political point the police officer is making here, a strategic ‘line-in-the-sand,’ or if…he simply prefers Bud to Stella.
And now…as the camera dollies in tight on the President as A and B camera get isolated B-roll shots of Professor Gates’ and Sgt. Crowley’s reactions to the President…
President Obama – (reading from teleprompter) “As you know, this recent controversy in Cambridge got many people up in arms, thinking that possibly the police in general, the Cambridge police department specifically, and you, Sgt. Crowley, even more specifically were at fault for the incident by racial profiling.”
Prof. Gates – “Racism, straight up. I been disenfranchised.”
President Obama – “And I’m willing to concede, now having examined the facts of the incident more closely, that there may have been an over-reaction on both parties involved.”
Sgt. Crowley – “Mr. President, first of all, thank you for this gracious invitation to meet with you and Professor Gates. I appreciate the Holiday Inn accommodations as well as the bus ticket to get here. But I must say that I don’t myself understand how this all got so out of hand. I received the call, acted in accordance with department policy, and that’s all. I simply did my job.”
Prof. Gates – “Does your job include tearing a man out of his own home and victimizing yet another African-American who just wants to exercise his rights to be a free Black man in America? The honorable Martin Luther King marched for that, he died for that. Does Selma, Alabama ring a bell? Four hundred years of oppression! Racial profiling amongst the police is epidemic! Kunte Kinte knows what I’m talking about. And may I have a refill? And, Mr. President, have you got some spicy mustard for the pretzels?”
Sgt. Crowley – “Professor, respectfully – race had absolutely nothing to do with your arrest. The woman who reported the incident, who made the 911 call, is now being called a racist, and that is not fair. She was doing her civic duty to the community in what she perceived to be a break-in to your house.”
Prof. Gates – “Breaking in to my own house! A black man in America, of course, I’m a criminal! You racial profiling! All you whites do that! Yo mama do that! Attica! Attica!!”
President Obama – “Now, Professor Gates, I’m sure that that’s not true. I don’t believe that Sgt. Crowley’s mother was even in the vicinity at the time.”
Sgt. Crowley – “No, Mr. President, she surely was not.”
Prof. Gates – “Y’all like to do that on the po-po. You see Black, you think ‘criminal.’ As an expert on Black history, Black inter-community relations, Black struggle psychology, and organizing Black blackness, I am offended and insulted the way the police and you, Sgt. Crowley, and yo mama, have victimized me and my brothers and sisters for four hundred years.”
Sgt. Crowley – “What?? I’ve…only lived here for…”
Prof. Gates – “And I’ll tell you one more thing. This whole thing is indicative of what the Black man face on a daily basis, victimized and held down by the white extablishment.
President Obama – “But Professor…I’m the establishment now. I’m President of the United States of America. Me. A Black Man. With a rich cultural heritage.”
Prof. Gates – “Well, you half-way there. Say man, can I get some Gray Poupon? I like that Gray Poupon, that French stuff. You got some of that?”
President Obama – “Can we get some Gray Poupon for the Professor? Now, back to our summit here. As you know…racial tensions in this country have run high, primarily due to my predecessor, George W. Bush. He not only handed me an economy in shambles, he handed me a powder keg of racial tensions. But with my election, I brought you the hope and change we need.”
Prof. Gates – “Speaking of change, I need to change my room at the Four Seasons. Too close to the elevator, can’t hear my movies. Can you handle that, Mr. President?”
President Obama – “Can we get somebody on that? Can we get the Professor a new room?”
Prof. Gates – “Oh, and I got a frequent flyer number here, too. I want credit for those miles.”
President Obama – “Yes, sir, we will make sure you get credit for the flights.”
Prof. Gates – “Do they give double credit for first class? I heard they give double credit for first class.”
President Obama – “I can assure you, Professor. We will look into that and get back to you.”
Sgt. Crowley – “Sir, again, I want to thank you for inviting me to meet with you and the Professor. And I must say this – the police have a very difficult job. And sure, there are occasionally some bad apples in the mix, but this is not the norm. Our department at Cambridge has only the highest of professional and ethical standards. We’re not asking for an apology. We just need to have these accusations of racism stop. We are not racists. The woman who reported the incident is not a racist. I am not a racist.”
Prof. Gates – “Yo mama.”
Sgt. Crowley – “And my mother is not a racist.”
Prof. Gates – “Yo mama, yo daddy, yo bald-headed granny.”
President Obama – “Gentlemen…and I think I speak now for the sentiments of the American people. Can we..can w-we…can we just get along?”
Now the President reaches into his pocket…and pulls out…coins of some sort…
President Obama – “Okay, now… Who wants to play ‘Quarters’?
Oh wait a minute…it seems Sgt. Crowley is standing…is he going to leave?
Sgt. Crowley – “I have to get back to Cambridge, sir. I have to catch my bus. Thanks once again, and you can keep the Bud.”
Sgt. Crowley is shaking the President’s hand …and now he turns to shake the Professors hand…oh! The Professor… just waved off the sergeant… oh Diss! The sergeant simply shrugs and walks away to his awaiting taxi. It seemed rather…I don’t know…’above-it-all’… Not exactly the posture of a man intent in proving he’s not a racist, wouldn’t you say?
The President is now bouncing coins into his beer mug.
The professor seems distracted as he dips his pretzel into some mustard.
Prof. Gates – “Is this dijon? I only eat dijon mustard.”
…Back to you in the studio…
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119 Comments
Yo mommmma…..a one liner like that can cause a BEER FEST…. hell, where do I sign up…
ehhh… mildly humorous, maybe I'm just grumpy this morning. You referred to Sgt. Crowley as Sgt. Gates several times.
on a side note, I really want some beer right now, well that is if I were just off work and it was Friday evening.
Thanks to the men and women who serve this country, (not moochers of affirmative action, etc etc), I can freely enjoy that beer tomorrow night.
For some reason I was picturing Chris Rock as Prof. Gates the whole time, but that was awesome!
To Gates, Obama, Holder, et al,
Get off the cross, we need the wood.
I can pretty much see that happening.
Chris Rock, would be Obama… and Bernie Mack (if he was still alive) would be Gates and Crowley would be Harrison Ford…… that would be a great cast of characters and Michelle Obama could be played by Robin Givens and she can make a cameo apperance…..
It's like Oktoberfest in July, and in celebration, they should only speak in Austrian, Barry brings the weinerschnitzel mit kraut, Gates should bring the horseshoes and Crowley should wear his sheets. At the end of the day, I hope they sing polkas and solve world peace. This is a tremendous step towards unity.
Gary – Stella Artois vs. 45 – that's not racist, that's classic. Well done — again.
Obama, Gates, and Sgt Crowley–a perfect example of democracy–two wolves and a sheep deciding *what's for supper?*
I was just wondering about this on the Open thread.
Will Gates and Obama gang up on Crowley?
Or will all decide it was Bush's fault?
D.L. Hughley would be a good Prof. Gates and I'm thinking Marlon Wayans for Michelle or does he only play white chicks?
Yeah, Marlon could be Michelle….. how funny would that be….
Joe, I think that they will keep it civil…. Crowley, will be the MOST interviewed guy in the WORLD TODAY…… they will want to keep it civil..
the domestic beer industry is in a tizzy…
With the news that the beverages served at barry's soiree' include Beck's, Red Stripe and microbrew Blue Moon
(yum!) the major breweries are verklempt.
It's enough to make one throw some hops, malt and barley together and make your own… and as The Three Stooges said- who put in the yeast?
That would be far more fun, watching these stooges brew beer on the South Lawn…
the domestic beer industry is in a tizzy…
With the news that the beverages served at Barry's soiree' include Beck's, Red Stripe and microbrew Blue Moon
(yum!) the major breweries are verklempt.
It's enough to make one throw some hops, malt and barley together and make your own… and as The Three Stooges said- who put in the yeast?
That would be far more fun, watching these stooges brew beer on the South Lawn…
Well, I don't know about that. Remember the last time Gates was drinking? He got arrested.
Of course, Crowley forgot to mention that he obtained the Bud from the Chicago distributorship owned by Jesse Jackson's sons.
I forgot that… you right!!!
I wonder if ANYONE is buying BO's explanation of his actions on this whole sorry episode.
Man, talk about putting his hoof in his mouth!
I'm thinking James Earl Jones ala "Field of Dreams" for Prof Gates. Uppity and crotchety.
No. No ganging up. They will be providing him and the rest of the unwashed with a lesson on racism and how these two high minded fellows were able to look past it and sit down and have a beer with their tormentor.
I read this was the officer's big idea. I pity him.
BWHAHAHAHAHHA……
Sgt. Crowley is being setup by obama
Sgt. Crowley is acting stupidly
I think we can all agree that this is about to become a 'teaching moment'. But who will be the teacher and who will be the student?
If THE ONE has his way (the only way that matters), He'll have Crowly kneel down and beg for Gates forgiveness.
If I had my way (a way that no one cares about). Sgt. Crowly will tell both Gates and THE ONE where to go (Hint: it rhymes with 'bell').
But what might happen, is that Crowly will hear the BS from Obama, Gates and the other membes of "the chicago way". Excuse himself, and speak no ill will to any party. Such as a man of honor like Sgt. Crowly is.
he just needs to speak a little about it with say it aint so JOE BIDEN… Biden has TONS of experience with this one!!!
CNN is. They are still going with the beer summit being Obama's post racial largess. We are so unworthy of his forgiveness.
i'm sure he was idea'd
thanks for pointing out the absurdity of the whole thing
Did Crowley have any ability to say, no to this kind of meeting?
[...] a new deal and a new dawning of how business gets done today – over beers. It has been hinted click for more var _wh = ((document.location.protocol==’https:’) ? “https://sec1.woopra.com” : [...]
This is the most pathetic, pandering attempt at public relations ever.
Obama is an embarassment to the nation and so is that loud-mouth whining gimp-thug, Gates.
Crowley should have side-stepped this clown show.
So this will improve White/Yaller relationships? Good luck.
Yep its a PR stunt. Obama's polls are tanking and this is his way of getting some good publicity. I don't know if Crowley was able to say no. I am sure he had reservations but perhaps the Department told him he had to go..or did a so you are going right, thing. Hell would freeze over and pigs would fly and Brett Favre would be in Viking Purple before I'd be caught dead having a beer with Obama and Gates.
The President wants to have a beer party, while the rest of the country is having a Tea-party.
Now the President reaches into his pocket…and pulls out…coins of some sort…
President Obama – “Okay, now… Who wants to play ‘Quarters’?
The best line of the piece. I'm sure Barry Obambi was a terrific stoner drinking game player back in college. Quarters is right up his alley and NOT above his pay grade.
Let's not forget it was Officer Crowley's idea to have this little "beer summit", not Obama's. Crowley suggested it to Obama.
"Quarters" is the only kind of "change" you can believe in.
LOL! Eric Holder slipped past Crowley's vehicle and stuck a Gadsden flag sticker , an NRA decal and a Pro-Life sticker on it! BUSTED!!
I'm irritated that the woman who called 911 in the 1st place got completely dissed and left out of this thing, despite being called a racist and having threats made against her.
Maybe this beer summit will be next: "Obama Invites Voters to White House for Kool-Aid Shots After Saying Electorate Acted 'Socialistically' Last November": http://optoons.blogspot.com/2009/07/obama-invites...
Oops, the Beer Nazi Strikes.
No beer for her.
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0709/25592.h...
Via Drudge Report.
[...] Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Lloyd Marcus, American Thinker: Who Will President Obama Drum Up Hate Against Next? GayPatriot: [...]
I hope Obama is able to calibrate his words correctly today. How does one recalibrate "all white cops are racists"?
In my experience, beer rarely helps calibration.
I hope Obama is able to calibrate his words correctly today. How does one recalibrate "all white cops are racists"?
In my experience beer rarely helps calibration.
[...] Gary Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 The Swamp: Obama’s ‘beer summit:’ Thursday Jake Tapper, Political Punch, ABC [...]
is that a Fact or just a "fact"
[...] amended ’07 IRS report Confederate Yankee: Is Henry Gates A Crook? Gary Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Steven Crowder, Big Hollywood: Lonewolf Diaries: Arresting Black People is Racist, You Pigs! RBO: [...]
[...] Zombie Contentions: Civil Rights, Then and Now and Mystery Solved! Gary Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Founding Bloggers: (VIDEO) African American Officer Regarding President Obama: “I Supported Him, [...]
*Heavy masked breathing*
Obama… *more breathing* I'm your father!
This is a well-written, humorous piece and it does a very good job at illustrating the different levels of "class" each man has. By class, I mean both "status" and "civility". Obama and Gates are depicted as the elitists they are. Gates makes demand after demand on his host, Obama, asking for special items to be brought to table. Obama is happy to oblige him. Crowley, conversely, asks for nothing, and is also happily obliged by the President. Gates is at the Four-Seasons, Crowley is staying at a Holiday Inn.
REVIEW PART 2
Gates brings nothing to the "summit", arriving empty-handed. Crowley not only brings a six-pack, having been instructed in good manners, but he brings a brand of beer he has learned HIS HOST ENJOYS, rather than a brand he himself prefers. Gates spends the entire time insulting Crowley and whites. Crowley defends himself but doesn't go on offense. Obama mostly attempts damage-control to himself, does a little Bush-blaming, but as far as the racial issues go or the matter of race-baiting, does absolutely nothing. He shakes hands in a different manner with Gates than he does with Crowley, illustrating his duplicity in dealing with each man dependent on his race.Very nice satire! Gates and Crowley are Goofus and Gallant, 2009.
I just wonder who is going to be watching Prof. Gates house while he is out of town. Will it be the Burglars or the Cops? I know the neighbors sure won't be making any phone calls if there is a break in. Especially if a drunk "person" is seen late at night trying to get into this residence.
I have some black neighbors. When they first moved in my daughter who was 10 at the time asked their little girl who was around the same age if she would like to play. She looked my daughter straight in the eye and told her that her mama said she can't play with white people. That was my daughter's first lesson in racism and it was black towards white, not the reverse. Several months ago I found a wallet with a credit card and about $100 in cash in front of my house. After calling the credit card company and going through a lot of red tape it was determined that the card and cash belonged to…yep you guessed it that same little girl who is now 17. I very politely and calmly approached the house, knocked on the door and handed the wallet over to the young lady explaining that I'd found this in front of my house and was returning it to her. She looked shocked to say the least. I'd like to think that I've done my little part in improving race relations in my corner of Texas and that maybe it will make the young lady re-think her attitude. Who knows? Racism comes in all colors.
One Sgt. Gates by my count. Also has "gate" where he meant gait. But yah, not quite the funniest thing Mr. Graham has written here. Still, I respect the crap out of any support for the cops involved in the oh-so ridiculous, must be a satire, moment in our history. Keep up the good work Mr. Graham, I love your articles! Hmm, I haven't had a beer in over 10 years, maybe that's why I'm such a hard case.
Funny piece,but unfortunately true in it's characterization of the racist black man in America. White people need to start fighting back. Today.
Hoof! Ha!
I'm guessing he was "HIGHLY ENCOURAGED" by those high up in his command structure to participate.
Where I grew up, issues were settled and problems solved over a dinner followed by beer and a period of "smoking and joking" as we would call it. During that time, while the overall atmosphere was kept lighthearted, very serious issues were discussed, albeit it at a more relaxed pace.
Now it seems I have to re-evaluate the validity of that practice. I know it worked with real Americans but now … well I just have to wonder what this will actually accomplish besides another 300,000 dollar photo op that does nothing more than scare the he!! out of the people who witness it.
"Hell would freeze over"
I've stopped using that particular phrase as there is a small town here in Michigan named Hell and it freezes over every winter. The rest though work fine.
Gary, a 'teaching moment' summit of epic proportions! A whole new dimention on the pivotal polling question – 'who would you rather have a beer with'. Hope and Change has arrived – what could be more egalitarian than a Kegger with the presidential seal – at the peoples house? Dare I believe that the Community-Block-Party-in-Chief could possibly move the masses center-left enough to save California (and the national tax base) with a throw down of a different sort; A symposium on the legalization of Marijuania – with Caulderon & Chavez taste testing competing representitive brands! YES WE CAN!!!!
So funny – everyone seems to believe the mantra that we all have to love each other and if we don't, if is some kind of a super sin.
What a joke. Just go about your business. It doesn't really matter one way or another if you like me or I like you because of your race or religion or whatever. "Oh, boo-hoo. A white person/black person/brown person/yellow perrson doesn't like me."
I must be truly ignorant, because in all my years doing QA/QC work, I never knew words needed to be calibrated! Who does the calibration? How often is calibration needed? 1x/yr? Each week? Does it depend on how often you use particular words? I am so glad Obama is here to help me learn things like this.
"The President’s gate appears regal…yet relaxed."
Hilarious — and way insightful! Love it!
Great column.
Depends on the definition of "is."
this entire date is low rent. and to prove it, they'll be drinking bud-light. everyone knows to make it legit you need a beer from texas. shiner or nuthin' mah friends. pew pew pew.
Careful, Stan! If Professor Gates catches wind of you imagining him on ANY "porch", he will become very offended and accuse YOU of racism!
Now "pattiann", to be legit they need my home brewed "Brown Nut Ale". No unions used in the making, no importing, made from the finest and freshest ingredients and pushing 7% alcohol.
Now mine does not have a cool name but, it will get you drunk as #$LL. It will turn the most racist person in the world (Gates) into a blithering idiot.
I tip one to you now (Figuratively, I am at work)
TBH, if the President of the United States wanted me to sit down and have a beer, I'd have to take him up on it. As silly as the whole thing is, a meet and greet with the president is not something many of us average citizens get the chance to do. Even if I disagree with the whole thing. There is a certain amount of respect the office commands, even if the man in it does not.
Sgt Crowley is going down there to be lectured to by two black racist. That in itself is racist, this is what the malcontents have turned people into anal retentive racist. This whole idea is a joke, Gates is a joke and so is that idiot community organizer a joke.
maybe, but I'd fight hard against being a propaganda pawn for anyone Republican or Democrat
A definite point there, but it would be on a case by case basis for me (regardless of the rarity). Some things I would fight against, as Buck just stated.
Subliminal racism, …oh no : – ) Good catch, change porch to verandah, but then that’s kind of uppity …whoops I did it again… everything is racist, …I give up.
It is a politician's cal lab. When most of us screw up then say we are sorry (and mean it), politicians shimmy over to the cal lab where they pick up the speech that goes something like "I am sorry you are too stupid to see how this is really your fault… or sorry your racism has blinded you about this cop, maybe a beer will clear things up." Calibration is performed by the teleprompter (yes, it is a union job!).
It recalibrates every time the poll numbers dive or when pants are caught around ankles.
If only the electorate were more savvy… or made up of all union members. Oh well, at least we are working toward the latter. Hoorah!
Does the President really think this stunt is going to win him any points?? When I first hear about this I thought it was a joke? Was? It is a joke! And the real problem is that the President doesn't see what an utter fool this PR stunt makes him seem. 2012 can't get here quick enough!
Since they're all Irish and siince this entire thing was a (default race card) setup to get everyone's eyes off of the sinking messiah (Obamacare), I recomend a fake beer – O'doul's -dark, of course.
My reply: No thanks -do I look like a foam pillar for you to use for a photo op to save your butt?
Or
You wiped your feet on me like I was a placemat and now you want me to turn over sso you can do it again?
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Blue Moon is (or at least used to be) a Coors Molson product. don't know about the others…
There is only one choice for arguably the most important summit of any presidency since Clinton's Middle East Accord: Guinness followed by shots of Jamesons.
yeah, it's a domestic but a microbrew- hated by the biggies. They loathe Sam Adams as well. Making a superior beer available all over and calling it a 'microbrew' ain't fair…
Two drunks and a cop! Priceless. Thanks for the hearty dose of humor. I think Jim would prefer Rolling Rock over Bud, however.
I was hoping that somehwere in this guyfest, Sgt Crowley would have brought a tazer to the party. They all get drunk and they start to indiscriminately taze members of the WH staff, then each other, with the photos showing up on various news agencies (of course only the ones of Crowley tazing a drunk Gates make it out). Race riots break out across the country. Sgt Crowley makes an appeal a la Rodney King (cant we all just get along). The people turn on Barak Obama, who makes a malaise speech blaming the people and then resigns. THE END.
anyone who takes this and uses it for anything other than what officer Crowley meant it to be should be down right ashamed. God bless America. God bless Crowley. God bless Gates.
Crowley is the one who suggested it in the initial phone call with Obama.
I wish Dave Chapelle was still around so he could mock the event on his show and have Obama and Gates being served Alize from the White House staff.
Obama cannot speak off the cuff without a teleprompter. He basically is inarticulate. Probably like a lot of actors who read what other people write and take it to mean they're smart. What surprises me is that the reporter (dumb Doofus — bet she won't get another gig asking BO a question ) asked a question that wasn't scripted. Obama then stub up and stuck his foot so far down his throat, he got toe jam stuck in his duodenum. That said, IF this exchange had not been on TV and live, I'm betting the propaganda media would have edited and massaged Obama's answer so that this flap would never have gotten any air time. The propagandists blew it big time.
What this article doesn't mention is JanNap and half a dozen DHS agents disguised as various shrubbery, making their way toward Sgt. Crowley as he heads for his cab.
No way could Crowley refuse a sit down with the president.
No way could he be anything but super respectful to that insipid race baiter, Gates.
I'm betting he'll do anything to get out of the spotlight and off the front page. If he has to apologize, he will.
But I'm also betting that Attila the Hun could break down Gates's door and no neighbor will call 911.
I'm also betting that IF the Cambridge cops get a call to that address, they'll find it really hard to start their cruisers.
Attention black burglars — this is one house you probably can break into without Neighborhood Watch lifting a finger and if the cops come, which is doubtful, you can bet they'll think twice before arresting you.
I have to say, I'd quit before anyone forced me to sit down with them. Unless of course Crowley is a HUGE fan of BO. Which is very possible. There are alot in a trance over this guy.
When the student is ready, ya know, the beer and poupon arrive.
This was a classic, Gary.
Gibbs changed his story as usual saying it was BO's idea when he called Crowley http://www.luxlibertas.com/gibbs-gives-details-on...
Joe Biden is at the beer stint…I can only imagine what he is saying.
I suppose if the Prez wants to summit with Rush, doing the things Rush likes to do, they would have to invite 12 year old Thai prostitutes.
I was wondering when a troll would show up.
But I thought Steve Erkle was elected President
I see one problem with the beer summit …to close to the swing set, there will no way to keep Barry from a good romp on the set. You can just picture little Barry swinging and giggling, while …the esteemed professor eh…hmm …Gates will be on the porch of the tree house glaring through the pickets screaming “oppression,” while Officer Crowley calmly sits at the picnic table sipping his Bud with a befuddled expression, …ahh …hope and change. Always dig your posts Gary!
OMG, too funny! Only thing that would have made it better would have been if Mr. Graham had known that Joe Biden was going to join the happy family and added some of Joe's comments to the essay. I would have loved being a fly on that picnic table, listening to Joe add his two cents to the conversation.
That being said, there are black folks killing and being killed by each other on the streets of every major US city in alarming numbers. And a dope like Gates is worried about being "racially profiled"? Maybe if he and Bam-Bam got their heads out of their butts, they would see that there are far bigger fish to fry in the black communities in this country.
I am no Obama supporter, but I appreciate the concept of the "beer summit."
Regardless of who is right and wrong, I find it to be a much more preferable form of conflict resolution than what is standard for racial "incidents" these days — a war of incendiary words fought through the media.
Actually, it looks as though Gates asked Obama to serve Guinness. He told Crowley to come to the White House for "a taste of the black stuff."
I'd fight being used as a pawn as well. Trouble is, when you have any dealings with a politician you risk being used after the fact. Seems anymore if you're against one side you have to be for the other, there isn't much of a middleground between the two parties anymore.
[...] THE BRILLIANCE OF GARY GRAHAM @ BIG HOLLYWOOD: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Posted at July 30, 2009 The Great Beer Summit of 2009 [...]
So, now we've hit post-post-racial America…..finally racism is dead and all it took was some beer. Hallelujah it's about time now we can all get on with our lives.
If all it took was for a white person and black person having a couple of beers to solve racism then I would like to offer up my name as part of the group that helped end racism as well. I've had many a beer with many a black friend. I'm sure there are many other people on this thread who should also be receiving some acknowledgment for solving racism.
I find the whole idea of Obama as reconcialator somewhat horrifying. It is so unpresidential. The dynamics of a meeting in which two of the players are friends and co-conspirators against a blue-collar worker seems lopsided. I can't imagine what got into the officer to agree on this, or his boss to sign off on it either. Pure foolishness. Obama would have been better off to say he was wrong to step into the fray. The officer should have stayed home.
Can you imagine what a beer bash would do to another sort of subject? How about pro-life forces meeting up with pro-abortion people in the white house, hosted by Obama? Doesn't it sort of trivialize the issue?
That was great! The picture of the officer and the other 3 grandstanding fools (they included Biden so it didn't look like the black men where ganging up on the white guy) that was released today fits this story beautifully! hummm, almost like we knew what was coming…scripted and choreographed.
Blue Moon is indeed a Miller-Coors product.
The President chose Bud Light (now owned by a European firm) -which I find overly bland- and Prof. Gates had his Jamaican Red Stripe – Which is good when fresh, but unfortunately is a bit skunky at most stores.
you didnt think there would be any kind of justice or truth in BO's America did you?? We all know until he's out, this is a very twisted version of America that we all knew before.
I'm hoping the outcome of this summit doesnt look like this….this is meant to be funny, not racial ….. two greats on screen <a href=”http://billsmovieemporium.files.wordpress.com/200…” target=”_blank”>http://billsmovieemporium.files.wordpress.com/200…
[...] The Great Beer Summit of 2009 by Gary Graham [...]
In honor of the beer bash summit, I had a Pepsi tonight.
Since I don't drink I must be part of the problem
[...] Notes from the Suds Summit Rachel Sklar, MediaIte: Beer Summit: A Ditty Gary Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Lloyd Marcus, American Thinker: Who Will President Obama Drum Up Hate Against Next? VotingFemale [...]
Teachable monent: Harvard gives out degrees to Affirmative Action Racists.
Hilarious, Gary! Loved it. In fact, your post is the only thing about this whole "Bartender / Truce-broker-in chief" episode that doesn't piss me off. Thanks for a good laugh, man!
[...] NY Times, Reuters: Obama More Bartender Than Mediator At Beer Summit Gary Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Wake Up Black America: I have some words of advice for Sgt Crowley on his Thursday “beer [...]
Did anyone else notice that the white guys chose pale ales and the black guys chose dark? Hmmmm
Did anyone leave a tip for the barmaid? Joe, put that back!
Ken — I'm going to turn all the cards over here…and agree with you. As much as I enjoyed poking fun, I would love it if more conflicts could be defused, not necessarily settled for all time — but defused — over a beer. It's a nice concept (especially for those of us who like beer). And as cynical as I am about EVERYTHING this prez does, I gotta give him kudo's on the stunt. It humanizes himself, Gates and Sgt. Crowley. Good all around. No, it doesn't get at the main problem in any real, meaningful way, but it's a start. And no — there can be no humainizing of Biden, lol.
Jesus, Gary. Have you ever met Skip Gates? I have. He doesn't talk like Amos or Andy. (I know, he's black, so it was your first guess.) He actually sounds a lot like a Harvard Professor. Which is different.
as always very well written, witty and amusing.
[...] Wilkinson showed off her barely-there bump at the Pirate's Booty Beach House. … The Great Beer Summit of 2009Now a hip bump…both sides…and the booty wiggle and strut…fist bumps and finger [...]
[...] Making Gates’ issue a racial one prevents us from moving beyond race Gary Graham, Big Hollywood: The Great Beer Summit of 2009 Goodtimepolitics: Police officers across the country have a message for Obama Scared Monkeys: [...]
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