The Obama Re-Election Campaign In Full Swing

by Gary Graham

THIS JUST IN: Reports from several Washington insiders came in today with several citizens who saw a flashing VACANCY sign when passing in front of the White House . Apparently it was one of those neon jobbers you see outside a cheap motel. “Vacancy…Vacancy…Vacancy…”

I don’t know, maybe I imagined it.

But hey – ol’ Air Force One is sure getting a workout, eh? Zipping here and there, transporting the President Blither and Yawn hither and yon. Today, President Obama jetted out to Columbus, Ohio to sell his Stimulus Package to the young, eager minds of the graduating police cadet class. In a moving and charismatic speech delivered straight to a couple of Plexiglas prompters on either side of him, the President told the two pieces of glass, “So many of you have been watching jobs disappear long before this recession hit. I don’t need to tell this graduating class what it’s like to know that your job might be next. Because up until a few weeks ago, that is precisely future that this class faced – a future that millions of Americans still face right now. Well, that is not a future I accept for the United States of America.”

The Plexiglas, cracked and flawed as it was, overwhelmed in a shudder of Obamasmic satisfaction, had to be discarded after the speech, and was unavailable for comment. The graduating cadets who were interviewed afterward seemed mildly annoyed and subtly confused by the hopeful remarks of the President; but when they viewed the speech on television afterward, were instantly buoyed and ecstatic with hope for the future. Several remarked how charming and presidential the President looked and how incredibly life-like and real. “He’s definitely the Change we need,” slathered one young cadet. “Yes we can, I hope.”

With Nancy Pelosi running the show back in D.C., the President’s Re-election Campaign chugs along in full swing. It’s nice to have the ‘worker bees’ back at the hive doing all the nuts-and-bolts work of writing and passing legislation, and leave the President free to roam about in presidential style and do the important work for the American people–run for re-election. Which is good, if you think about it. Mr. Obama has never really ‘done’ anything other than to run for office. Oh, I know there was that stint as a Community Organizer. Does that count as a ‘day job?’ I’ve known a few ‘community organizers’ in my day…but as I watched how they conducted themselves about town, I came to know them in a less flattering light than the name would imply. To me, they seemed to be strong-arm guys. Bullies. Extortionists. Confidence men. Mobsters. So, I’m very happy that Barack Obama has lifted a once-sullied occupation to a new level of legitimacy.

The President, as evidenced by the recent election, is a master salesman. The Salesman-in-Chief. Unfortunately for Mr. Obama, Wall Street is not buying. They are having a tough time wrapping their collective heads around the concept that the way to juice the economy is to plunge the nation into a staggering multi-trillion dollar debt.

The presidential rebuttal was incoherent…but mentioned something about creating jobs. In the newly formed Wag-the-Dog Committee of the Obama Administration, an anonymous but transparent official patiently explained to Wall Street that “…the purpose of Business is to Create Jobs. Period. And if there was actual business conducted, along with those bothersome profits and growth, well that was all right too, I guess…as long as we proceed to promptly tax the living hell out of it, the bastards.”

When I was very young I heard the following saying: If you took all of the money in the world, and evenly distributed it amongst the world’s populace…within six months the money would be back in the original hands.

Looks like we may very soon be in a position to test that theory. The Trickle Up dynamic thus far remains a bit of a disappointment. And to borrow from the standard liberal paradigm, the answer is, of course, to throw more money into it! And if that doesn’t do the trick, guess what? Mo’ money! Mo’ money! Mo’ money! With enough of your money, we can get that pig to fly!

Margaret Thatcher may have been on to something when she said, “The thing about socialism is that…eventually you run out of other people’s money.”

If you were looking at a new design for a bicycle wheel that was not round, but square…could Barack Obama convince you that it was a better design? Apparently 52.9% of the voting public thinks so.


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Posted Mar 6th 2009 at 12:27 pm in Politics | 156 Comments