My Day At the Doctor
by Evan SayetI went to the doctor the other day and received some terrible news. It came as quite a shock because, while I had not been feeling great — I was running a slight fever and I had the sniffles — I felt pretty good for a guy my age. So to hear my doctor tell me that I needed immediate and radical surgery I was sent for a bit of a loop.
I asked him what the surgery entailed and he told me he didn’t know as he’d never read about it. I sarcastically asked if he intended to read about it before he cut me open and performed this radical surgery on me and he told me he wouldn’t bother because it would be too complicated for him to understand, anyway. I asked him what was wrong with me and he told me I had the sniffles and a slight temperature. I asked him what massive radical surgery would do to help cure my cold and he said, “well, doing nothing isn’t going to cure it.”
I didn’t scream, I didn’t yell. I’ll admit I did raise my voice a little, but I mean, who wouldn’t? This guy took an oath – hey, this guy works for me!
Well, apparently my raising my voice was too much for him, he called out into the hall for some burly hospital workers – you know the ones, those big orderlies in purples shirts – to stand by and be ready to knock me out with a single punch and tie me to a gurney if I brought up any more objections. With their arrival he declared that he didn’t want me to “do much talkin’” since I’m the one who “caused the problem in the first place” by catching cold.
With me quieted for the moment the doctor began to speak. Not to me. Apparently he’d gotten a phone call about something much, much more important than me. I think it was the odds on “Rickety Split” in the seventh.
When what should have been a ten or fifteen minute examination turned to first a half-hour then an hour, my friend, who had driven me to the doctor in case I needed a prescription that would make operating heavy machinery unwise, politely knocked on the door and poked his head in to ask if the exam would be much longer as he had to get back to work. The doctor shrieked, “A mob!!!” and slammed the door on his foot breaking his toe.
My friend was rushed to the O.R. and is expected to make a complete recovery from the full appendectomy and quadruple bi-pass surgery my doctor performed to fix it. The bad news? I’m now on the AMA’s Enemies List for all my fishy questions.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Tips & Feedback
40 Comments
[...] Health Care Plan! Washington Post: Washington Post-ABC News Poll Evan Sayet, Big Hollywood: My Day At the Doctor RedState: White House: Axelrod spam? All because of outside agitators and Obama Brownshirts Try to [...]
[...] Dose: Big Pharma Offers President Obama Crumbs to Preserve Their Cake Evan Sayet, Big Hollywood: My Day At the Doctor Wall Street Journal: Pull the Plug on ObamaCare No Runny Eggs: How Did This Guy Get Through [...]
[...] Nitwit! It’s About President Obama’s Legacy. Now Get Out Of The Way! Evan Sayet, Big Hollywood: My Day At the Doctor Temple of Mut: Checklist of Death Gerald Warner, Telegraph: Legal outsourced suicide for Britons [...]
Genius.
I thank you.
Hilarious, because it hits the nail on the head!
Is Mr. Sayet going to be posting regularly at BG now?
Whoops — that should be BH, not BG.
Hilarious!
SMACK, that's gonna leave a mark.
Bravo…Terrific . That's a great job of filleting.
I know this is a bit clumsy, but have you noticed how the health care supporters all seem to give a different answer when the questions are asked? it reminds me of the "is it safe?" question. Hoffman doesn't know how to answer and says something different each time Olivier asks.
and then on the flip side, you know Olivier is going to get in there and cause pain even though Hoffman is scared to death. But he is trapped and has no way out.
the libbies are gonna deem you hateful and a fearmonger for this, even as they curse you for your easily understood, dead-on analysis, of their asswipery.
Perfection!
Brilliant, Mr. Sayet, brilliant!
Coming soon to a hospital near you.
Very nice!
Very well played in the long form.
Hilarious! Glad you're not really sick.
Do we see the pattern yet? The economy, cap and tax, health care, and next year social security….should be obvious to all how any Obama initiatives have or will come about:
1. Near and present doom
2. Bush's fault
3. Only the government (know as "hope") can fix the problem
4. Only lots of money provided by the government (known as "change", colloquialism for "tax increase") is the solution
5. Mocking of all those who disapprove
6. Rubber-stamp approval by Congress
7. Evisceration of the American people
[...] with seniors includes tenets that Americans, regardless of political party, should support. My Day At the Doctor – bighollywood.breitbart.com 08/24/2009 I went to the doctor the other day and received some [...]
Nice stand up material!
I sure do "hope" this isn't merely foreshadowing …
Very funny and perfect.
One of our local Teaparty fire brands went to a teaparty, where about 10 health care supporters showed up to counter protest our 500 people. She went into the crowd of ten with a video recorder and tried to ask the question "tell me ten things you like about the health care plan" nothing but, uhs, ahs and blank stares, she then ask, "OK tell me one thing" one protester turned her back into and tried to run over her backwards. These people have no idea what is going on, just a sense of entitlement.
My doctor told me my sniffles were inoperable and they may have to take the nose.
You have my profound thanks for putting it down where the little goats can get it.
"I asked him what the surgery entailed and he told me he didn’t know as he’d never read about it. I sarcastically asked if he intended to read about it before he cut me open and performed this radical surgery on me and he told me he wouldn’t bother because it would be too complicated for him to understand, anyway. I asked him what was wrong with me and he told me I had the sniffles and a slight temperature. I asked him what massive radical surgery would do to help cure my cold and he said, 'well, doing nothing isn’t going to cure it.'"
Now THAT is genius!
I think you mean purple shirts, not purples.
ofs
The caption for the photo should be: Your government doctor will see you now.
(Olivier looks pretty menacing in the photo, but folks need to see the movie to really get it. "Is it safe?")
Change you can believe in. Riiiiight!
Harold and the Purple Crayon
Second Line
Very cool Evan! Always good to read your spot on satire, tearing the opposition apart with a smile.
Is it safe?
Love the satire. Two years ago, who would have even given a second thought to think that we could be facing this very same scary scenario with our new healthcare owners AKA The new terrorists of the U.S. The Leftists. Kill that Bill ! No matter how many distractions they throw at us – Let us all keep our eyes on that "Bill" and make sure it never sees the light of day.
Ummm….
Alright, I'll admit it, it took me awhile to get it. I read it straight, as if he really was talking about a visit to the doctor. And with Barry saying doctors will pull tonsils for a case of the sniffles or whatever, I was wondering if this was some sort of exaggerated parody. Either that or the "Fairness Doctrine" had hit and he really was saying the doctors are doing too much.
Very approriate picture of Olivier asking Dustin Hoffman in The Marathon Man if he wanted relief or pain while trying to "extract " information from him. While he's taking perverse pleasure in slowly pulling Hoffmans' teeth without so much as novacaine he keeps asking "is it safe? For us conservatives having to deal with liberal policies, heck no it aint safe!
You could have saved a lot of this grief had you had the forsight to have signed one of his consultant forms that he and his federally approved Mortuary Coporation, offered you, but no you had to think you were capable of making your own healthcare decisions. Just another selfish American who thought that they could escape consulticide…sigh!
[...] Obamacare rhetoric satirized. [...]
[...] Obamacare rhetoric satirized. [...]
Oh that is soooo good.
(and scary)
[...] New York Times: Democrats Seem Set to Go It Alone on a Health Bill Evan Sayet, Big Hollywood: My Day At the Doctor Atlas Shrugs: Obama/Democrats to Americans: Drop Dead Alberto de la Cruz, Babalú Blog, an [...]
[...] Meeting: Elderly Concerns About Mandated “End-Of-Life” Counseling Evan Sayet, Big Hollywood: My Day At the Doctor Obi’s Sister: Fun With Numbers, Semper Fi, and Trog Gets a Nod Track-A-’Crat: Another [...]
The title of this piece and Olivier say it all.
You must be logged in to post a comment.