Terrorism = Man Made Disaster? Let’s try some others:
by Ernie Mannix
(Let’s all dig the new lingo.)
Murderer = Overpopulation assistant
Criminal = Alternative life economist
Child abandonment = Remote Parenting
Car-jacking = Automotive redistribution
Abortion = Choice
Appeasement of dangerous enemies = New dialogue
Socialism = 2nd stimulus
Enemy Combatants = Displaced Freedom Fighters
Big Hollywood Writers = Enemy Combatants
Caving in = Good Faith
Making fun of the Special Olympics when you are the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES = Poking fun at one’s own bowling skills.
Campaigning, winning and cashing in on a bad economy = Inheriting Bush’s bad policies
Tax Cheat = Person not being made aware of the problem by an accountant
Impeached and disbarred = Elder Statesman
The enabling God Father of appeasement = Really Elder Statesman
Bank Robber = Stimulation recipient
Fascist takeover of private business = New Fairness Doctrine
Fascist takeover of redistricting = White House census office
Terrorist = (not applicable)
War (under liberal’s watch) = situation
War (under Republican watch) = unwinnable disaster
Higher Taxes = Fair Share
Fundamentally strong economy = (please define party affiliation first)
Blaming America First = Global View
Victory = (No such word)
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193 Comments
This post = Brilliant
Big Hollywood writers- 'Enemy Combatants' how true. One wonders how much longer we can exist until the Orwellians decide this site too must be 'weighted' with contravening thought…
Big Hollywood Writers =
Enemy CombatantsCapitalism's CasualitesBTW, on a more serious note, there's a reason for this government to call terrorism "man-made disaster." It's so they can start to apply the tactics we us to attack terrorism to attacking other "man-made disasters", which (if robot overlord aL-gOrE gets his way) means soon that companies that produce "too much" carbon will get the Al Qaeda treatement, because both are producing "man-made disasters."
MSNBC = Directory of Information and thinkspeak
Hope & Change = Buzzwords meaning complete hogwash
Unrepentent Tax Cheat = Any Obama cabinet member or Charles Rangel
Personal responsibility = (no such concept)
You have cracked the code on the liberal Rosetta Stone!
Statesman = Dead Politician…we need more statesman
illegal alien = patriot
What is frightening = you can actually download the translator!
Anybody have any Troll-Be-Gone spray?
Nice!!! I guess there are just some phrases that don't translate into liberalese?
Word? You think the gov't will allow a capitalist <del>company</del> swine-pig organization like Microsoft to continue business? The new Department of Word Processing will be created to oversee the dismemberment and replacement of all Word, WordPerfect, Notepad, Wordpad, LYX, OpenOffice, etc. with W-13442 Writing Software Program. All documents must be Newspeak compliant, or the writer must pay a tax penalty.
Where's Ron Popeil when you need him?
Oh, that's doubleplusbad.
illegal alien = democratic voter
Liberal = Bipartisan
Conservative = bitter gun toting Bible clinging racist
Illegal immigrant = patriot
Temporary work visa = America First
Crisis = opportunity
Taxation = good business
Freedom = no need to think
Wealthy = any six digit income or greater
Diversity = dissension management
News Media = thought control
Homeschooling = bad influence
Abortion = Family "planning"
Abstinence = what's that?
Work= over rated
Government = the bigger the better
patriot = democratic voter
Keep em coming dudes.
I believe the word is "doubleplusungood."
Orwell wrote about this as a warning. Okay, we have matched the warning to the new reality. What's next ? More talk will always follow, but we should be working on some action as well.
April 15 is the teaparty day, what are you doing ??
You Tube = Diplomacy
Fiction = Fact
Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, et. al = Hate Speech
Keith Olbermann, Bill Maher, Chris Matthews = Civilized Discourse
I just received two traffic tickets in the mail from one of those traffic cameras and I have no recourse and no rights in the matter. I have to pay the ticket. And I realized upon receiving these tickets that I no longer want to live in America. And I no longer care if Mexico invades or if terrorists get A-Bombs. All I want to do is leave or rather, escape.
Hard to top Leadfingers' and Ernie's, but here goes…
Political Gaffe = Being Human (NEW definition)
Keith Olbermann = Intellectual
Tax Evasion = Cabinet Qualification
Pork = Stimulus
Chicago Machine Politician = The Immaculate Conception
Media Scrutiny = Michelle's Ripped Deltoids
Kickback = Community Reinvestment
Trillion = Billion
Terrorist (international) = Disaster Man
Terrorist (domestic) = Professor
White Racist = Racist (redundant)
Black Racist = Firery Preacher
I like how he doesn't even have the courage to register before commenting! Big Hollywood would cut down on these insult lobbers if they'd require registration for commenting.
Community Organizer = Qualified for Presidency
Governor of large state = Unqualified for Presidency
Affluent = greedy
illegal aliens = displaced immigrants
identify theft = survival tool
Oh, this really is too much fun.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
Domestic Terroirst = University Professor specializing in education policy
Promise to buy the kids a dog = Campaign ploy to appear as if one gives a crap about the kids
Tax cuts for 90% of the country = confiscation of wealth for anyone with a job
Exactly LoneWolf – sooner the better.
I stand corrected.
Isn't it though? LOL Obama is a joke so it is only natural he'd inspire jokes.
(If not on late night then here!)
I think this is my favorite so far.
MSNBC = Ministry for Socialist News and Barack Cheerleading
I may be in the minority but I hope Pres. Obama stays "out there." The man is a walking talking gaffe machine. Maybe he can do the Shamwow infomercials next?
"Trillion = Billion"
ROFL!
dissent (Republican President) – highest form of patriotism
dissent (Democrat President) – UnAmerican
Obama's teleprompter = pragmatic
tax cheat = uniquely qualified
Bill Ayers = pillar of the community
John Kerry = hero
Conservatism = fascist
I'd only make one small distinction:
Affluent (employed) = greedy
Affluent (elected) = civil servant
Other than that, spot on!
Homelessness = A condition which apparently occurs only during Republican administrations.
Unfortunately, the converter isn't perfect. If you insert certain band names, here's what you get:
10,000 Maniacs = Moderate Taliban
Bad Company = AIG
Cars = Intollerable Personal Pollution Devices
The Fixx = TARP
Foreigner = Voter
Men at Work = Employed Persons
Monkeys = Verboten
Rush = Pure Evil
Zombie = Yes We Can
And when I put in New Order, it just giggles.
Teenage pregnancy = Mistake not to be burdened with
Ernie — THANK YOU for this morning's laugh! Never has so much ordnance been delivered on target with fewer words! I have a few contributions, for what they're worth:
(CHANGE-SPEAK)
‘Working Families’ – Democrat voters.
‘For the Children’ – Government acting as Provider in lieu of shiftless, responsibility-shirking parents.
'Government Stimulus Plan’ – Leftists suddenly with the keys to the kingdom, realizing they can go drunk with power and activate fascist dreams in America.
‘Greedy wealthy cheaters who have had a free ride exploiting children and working families, and now must pay their fair share out the wazoo’ — Financially successful
‘Hard working families’ – Democrat voters who want successful people to give them most of their money to pay off their irresponsible life choices and bad business decisions.
‘Change’ — Put me in power and keep me there.
‘Hope’ – I don’t ever want to be out of power!
‘Change We Can Believe In’ – See my dazzling smile and charming offhand manner? And watch how poised I look holding my head up going from out-of-camera shot teleprompter to teleprompter, left, right, left, right, chin up and hold…left, right, left, right, left, chin up and hold…and repeat…
Perfect distinction!
One nation under God = ?
You'll, uh, You'll, er, You'll say um say er W-w-w-Wow Every time!
Gary, I'm serious. Run for office. We need you up there speaking your mind on Capital Hill.
Ohh that is a good one.
Oh, not another censorship post!!!!
"Wealthy = any six digit income or greater "
That includes the decimal point too, doesn't it?
DON'T TYPE THAT INTO THE CONVERTER…. too late. Good luck cleaning up all the pea soup.
Facts = What the Democrat party says they are.
Okay that one made me laugh so hard I not only woke the dogs, but terrified them. LOL
Tea Party = A Few Hundred
Anti-War/America/Bush/Anything That Makes Sense Protest = Tens of Thousands
Left Wing Propaganda = Documentary
45% Tax Rate = 55% Untapped Revenue
Your Income = OUR Income
Personal Responsibility = Tax Payer
Teleprompter = POTUS
I second that, but at the same time feel a little bad suggesting it. I mean he's a hell of a guy but inflicting DC on him could be considered a form of battery really when you consider what sort of creatures inhabit that swamp.
But still, I'd vote for him, if he promised to forgive me for it after.
I second that, but at the same time feel a little bad suggesting it. I mean he's a hell of a guy so inflicting DC on him could be considered a form of battery really when you consider what sort of creatures inhabit that swamp.
But still, I'd vote for him, if he promised to forgive me for it after.
Responsibility = 92% of the population paying for the idiocy of the other 8%
Hamas = Valued contributor and constituent
Tolerance = Saying absolutely nothing bad about Islam, ever
AIG = Juden
Veteran = Private insurance and tax provider
Drug Trafficker-Unlicensed Pharmacist
Abortionist-Problem Solver
Home Invader-Univited Company that you haven't met yet
Dr. Kevorkian-New minister of health under Obama plan
Amen Flownover. I've been begging for action for a while, there is lots of talk here but zero action, I personally got so tired of what I've seen from our government in TN here that I'm throwing my hat in the ring in the 2010 state senate race.
So here is the question. What. Are. You. Going. To. Do. About. It.?
Talk is cheap because the supply far exceeds the demand. If we don't stop talking and start doing they'll be saying the same thing about the dollar.
Brilliant Andrew!! My favorite is 10K Maniacs = Moderate Taliban, but all of them are brilliant!
I wonder what less fortunate group he'd compare them to.
CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NYT: Unbiased Mainstream Media
FoxNews.com, WSJ: Hate-spewing mouth-piece of the right
–CP (http://conservativelyprogressive.blogspot.com/)
Since we live about 50 miles outside of a major metro, the wife and I are chartering a bus for the ride on the 15th. I will pay for the tea on the ride down and the beer on the way back. We'll be scouting our crowd to see who might be running for office to replace some term limited state reps in the area.
Good one! I forgot about the self insured soldier idea. We should think about appending Tolerance to include homosexuals though.
I'm with Andrew and Golani. You still live in California, right? I volunteer to be your San Francisco campaign manager. I've survived a hundred "peace" marches, twenty gay-pride parades, seventy-five pro-Palestine rallies, and several assorted riots. I've been on the wrong side of every one of them, and I'm still standing. I don't think there are any conservatives down there in the Southland who know the weirding ways of the local yokels up here. Let me at 'em!
Suicide bomber- someone into rapid euthanasia
Black muggers- victims of society
White muggers- hate criminals, probably republican supporters
Heterosexual marriage- anachronistic misogynistic structure
Homosexual marriage – fair and modern institution
Patriot- xenophobic racist bigot
Servile appeasement- a just and lasting peace
Christian fundamentalist- the past
Islamic fundamentalist – the future
Reminds me of a word game I came up with a while ago, mapping political phrases from both sides of a debate. Foe example, if you support a political issue, then its a "grass roots movement." If you don't support it, "evil corp. lobbyists." The difference between an "investment" and a "tax loop hole" depend upon how you feel about who's getting it.
I thought it would make a nice web site to help explain political dialogue for the novice.
Remember under Bill "I didn't stick it there" Clinton, we had "Nations of concern" instead of "Rogue Nations". For fear of hurting someone's feelings. More distinctions from the manly men of the left.
Sorry, Bev. Euthenasia's already taken. It's the name of our local Chinese young people's pro-Obama voter registration group. Kinda like ACORN for the Bay Area.
I thought this app was a joke but I just found it for free download at http://www.softpedia.com/get/Office-tools/Text-ed...
FYI and not spam!
"Home Invader," perfect! May I add "Burglar = Person who borrows your stuff, permanently?"
Illegal = Any act performed in observance of any part of the Ten Commandments.
No we need to start combining –
Suicide bomber = Rapid Universal healthplan participant
Oh that's just one of the many possible definitions of Tolerance though, remember the left love "nuances" so they can use the same word for many things, and shade it depending on what they're talking about. For example:
Nuclear Energy (when applied to the West) = A ticking timebomb which could set off an environmental calamity.
Nuclear Energy (when applied to Iran) = The universal right of a great people to have green technology.
Nuclear Weapons (when applied to responsible Western powers) = Cold War relics that are one of the greatest impediments to peace and understanding in the world, and all of which should be relegated to the trash bin of history.
Nuclear Weapons (when applied to Iran) = 1) There is no Iranian nuclear program, end of discussion, however if redacted proceed to: 2) Understandable goal of an oppressed people to show their technological progress and instill pride in their nation's achievements which would never be used in anger. 3) Understandable goal of a country surrounded by hostile threats.
Very Nice Bev.
Nice.
Oh good "Dune" reference too.
Awesome.
LOL excellent Gary.
ty!!
Excellent.
My how true.
Wouldn't they technically be Euthenmerica not Euthenasia though?
Doh! I forgot, you can raise money from anywhere these days, case in point Euthengaza. What was I thinking?
Up = Down; Down = Up (channeling the Algore)
Oil = evil substance Republicans wage war over
Cheap gas = a constitutional right
Bush bumbling = dumb
Bush bumbling = headline news
Obama bumbling = charming and/or ignored
Taxes = contributions
Paycheck = givernment property
Che Guverra = misunderstood
Bromance = the new gay/not gay
Fighting terrorists = the politics of fear
Dissent = depends on who is president (If Bush/Republican, dissent = patriotism. If Obama/Democrat, disset = treason)
Oops. Nobody was supposed to notice that I plan to be the next messiah.
Too funny!
mom = milking overpopulation mayhem
Ya, I don't think so.
absent dad = your point?
Obama = Muslim?
Pork Fried Rice = Stimulus Package, with Fried Rice.
(Some things just are what they are.)
Obama = Personality Cult
Go for it Brandon. We need more conscientious people who care enough and can afford to run for office to do so. The reason our government is so corrupt is because it's full of corrupt people who barter their votes, and ours consequentially, for campaign funds in order to secure their own futures. I've said it before and I'll say it again. We need more leaders and fewer politicians in office. May God bless you in your efforts to balance the deck.
ROFLMAO
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