Congratulations: URGENT RESPONSE NEEDED – Payment Notification of your UNCLAIMED STIMULUS
by Ernie MannixCongratulation:
FROM: MOST HONORABLE SPEAKOR PELOSI + ALL CONGRESS
MINSTERS FINANCIAL – WASHINGTON DC
CAPITOL BUILDING
WASHINTON DC
AMERICA
TO: ALL HONARABLE NOBLE CITIZANS OF AMERICA
RE: YOUR UNCLAIMED STIMULUS
CONGRATUALTION! On this honorable day for us, we beeseech you for the favor of your reply in kind. The time is now for your urgent action to be taken for the securing your stimulus wealth. I am mandated to make this acknowledgement officially to you by the powers and CHANGE imposed on me.
For years we make the genorous payments for anyone in our country and so many of the peoples of the world. At this great time of joy for our America, we want to be sure you get yours.
IT IS WITH HAPPYNES make this offering for the greatness of our Hope/changed future. During the last financial records/audits conducted with bad last President. All went into pool of darkness. Now with new Hope Change President in the year 2009 and by the HONARABLE CONGRESS PEOPLE, we find you need some STIMULUS Happyness.
ON OR BEFORE APRIL 15 2009, please to file your correct information needed to secure your STIMULATION. KINDLY FORWARD THE FOLLOWING FOR TAX RECOMFIRMATION:
1) Your full name and ID #……….
2) All you childrens 529 plans # (however diminished)
3) Your 401K account # (However destroyed)
4) Phone, fax and mobile #……………
5) Former Company name, position and address…………..
6) Former Profession, age and marital status………………
7) Unemployment check amount………………..
7a) Foreclosed Mortgage account info
9) (Califorina only) I.O.U. TAX REBATE number.
10) Cobra Heathcare acct #
As soon as the above information are received, your payment will be Made available to you via an international (UPhishS) courier delivery in voucher for promises which will Be delivered to your doorstep for your confirmation or via CSPAN. Your urgent response to this mail will help facilitate the onward conclussion of this transaction without and further delays.
In case, I sincerely apologies for the delay of your payment and all the inconveniences that we might have indulge you through the next 4 years. HOWEVER – MANY GREEN jobs to come for you and you children. Condoms for all. No more Christmas lights for bad enviorment. And dont forget to change your TV antennas and enjoy the HIGH DEF..
WISHING YOU STIMULATED,
ALL THE CONGRESS OF AMERICA
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23 Comments
I know, I know, I have my DHL tracking number and awaiting delivery.
It’s important that we have an extremely large stimulus to ensure that it reaches America’s prostate gland.
Sharks in the pool of darkness
Dying with laughter here! This is great…thank you!
At first, this made me giggle and then I thought about it and didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. I honest to god can’t believe my fellow Americans voted for this kind of bull#@%! change… is this the power of marketing?
On making thesse comments, I beeseech you to be to please not use the derogatories offence of the Hoping/change people. This is for the bad poeples to do this things. They won the votes and they must sit in the tub of happiness winning the best for eveyone in the warming planet.
Al GOre knows the ways of the warmth and will win against the bad men of the pollution. His science is the best of the world and he is smarted than all the presidents too except Obama. He was very good in biology in the small school times.
HUGO CHAVEZ,
Thank for the goodness, we have the best of our Obama and the Pelosi Head of the Senators. Oh the fruits of the hope and change will lead us from the poo poo man and the bad Cheney. Al Gore, yes I agrees with you with his mastery of the planets. He will make us cool our jets and other warming bad noises of the earth.
Along for the Live Al GOre and no warming for us ever.
We are a community weekly with a circulation of 12,000; how can we get permission to reprint excellent stimulatory article?
Outrageously funny. I just got one of those e-mails today and was going to do a parody of it for my friends. But I didn’t think of the hook of making it an e-mail from Congress. I have just destroyed my parody, and will forward this post to everyone in my address book. Thank you for a great laugh!
Thanks for the laughs – made my day.
Mannix Mister,
I am standing here beside myself to laughing my cranium down. Here’s hopping you Mannix Mister will are having much virility in this new Year 2009.
Sinecurely,
Your Honaroble Reprehensitive.
BWAHAHAHAHAAA! Perfect!
Nanny State Pelosi and Dinghy Harry Reid did themselves proud.
The bipartisanship was with the opposition. Thank God for the House GOP standing strong and in unison.
And "Dang" the Three Dogs (Snowe, Collins, Spectre) in the Senate laying down with them. Hope they get flea-bite-us !!!
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