Art Will Not Be Silenced! — Win a $33.18 Grant From the Iowahawk Endowment for the Arts
by IowahawkLike you, when I read that a cabal of art-hating reactionary philistines had forced the resignation of Yosi Sergant from the National Endowment for the Arts, I was sickened. This was followed by shame, then fear. And then, finally, the realization that here was a golden opportunity for cheap blog traffic.
As a renowned collector of dumpster art and pork industry commemorative plates, I made a solemn vow to myself: this injustice will not stand. If these radicals are allowed to bring down the NEA’s Assistant Liaison for Art Community Outreach — for merely organizing an innocent devotional art program — who is next on their dangerous anti-culture agenda? The NEA Undersecretary for Public Engagement? Western Civilization itself?
No, my friends, the stakes are too high. We in the Arts community must confront these vulgarian bullies and let them know that ART WILL NOT BE SILENCED. To show my personal commitment to this important cause, last night I dug deep into my kid’s sock drawer and found $33.18, which I am now fully dedicating to an endowment to fund creative art aimed at promoting me and my agenda.
David Burge (2009): Still Life With Dumpster Paintings, Schlitz, and Grant Money.
As a member of the trend-setting art community, you are probably asking yourself: how do I get me that sweet-ass grant money? The answer is simple — submit your original creative work in the Iowahawk Endowment for the Art’s $33.18 Steel Cage Art Death Match.
GRANT CONTEST RULES
Like the NEA, I’m not picky about what constitutes art. Use your creativity! Paintings, poetry, outhouse graffiti, sea shanties, macaroni arrangements, mime, interpretive dance, drum circles, chanting choirs of third graders, it’s all cool. The only guideline is that your art must promote unswerving blind allegiance to me, and all that I represent.
Once you have completed your masterpiece, submit the relevant picture or video via email (along with your description) with the subject line “Art Contest.” All entries will be feature it on an upcoming post, where they will be closely scrutinized for artistic merit by multi-hundreds of discerning Iowahawk readers around the galaxy.
Don’t delay! Deadline for entries is Sunday October 4. On Monday October 5, I will post a poll for readers to vote on their favorite piece. Voting ends Friday October 9, and the winner will receive the coveted $33.18 Grand Prize.
Good luck to everyone! But let’s remember that, no matter the outcome, the real winner in this competition will be America. Especially my kid, when he realizes that the 33 bucks he was going to waste on a stupid Xbox game helped save our culture.
Ladies and Gentlemen, start your easels!
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41 Comments
I claim the prize. I just discovered an English muffin with a visage of "the one," amongst the various nooks and crannys. I will have it bronzed and forward to you expeditiously. You did not include an address… or could this be cheap chicanery?
You win it Jack! That surely beats the Obama image I found in wild bird seed when I accidentally knocked over my bird feeder this afternoon!
In the spirit of true, liberal art appreciation, can't I just have the money? I promise to buy "art" supplies.
I can piss his profile in a snow bank……………cig hanging out of his mouth and everything. And if I really have to GO, he's blowing smoke rings that look like c-notes.
Yes master…right away master
It makes one hope (with much audacity) the admin. keeps cranking out the scandals. This has been a great run!
Remember Piss Christ? Isn't it now time for Piss Obama? Or should we go for Number 2?
I made poop art. It’s like “Piss Christ,” but different.
OOOOOOOOOO——–))))))))))—-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO=======_))))))_
There, I call it: Edge of nothingness. Pay up.
test
something
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harmless free speech
BOY! Will your son be upset when I use that money to buy myself a Xbox game!
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Wee-Wee Dreams of My Father!
Does it have the face of The One in it?
my muse is blocked, send money
When I get real angry: I can blow an "O" .
I have no doubt in my mind whatsoever that the finest art the NEA's inspired in, well, ever, are the three pieces Iowahawk's crafted from the scandal.
If you squint your eyes, yes!
In the air, using dust particles, I create fleeting images with my hands.
Om non-dusty days, I randomly crumple aluminum foil and then seek faces of operatic greats of the last century.wearing hats in the foil residue.
I think you're on to something, Ernie. I find myself staring at that thing for hours.
Just a question, though. If you meditate on that string of characters you created and then let your eyes slightly unfocus, it spells out "Obama is Lord". Was that intentional, or just an odd coincidence?
I think you're on to something, Ernie. I find myself staring at that thing for hours.
Just a question, though. If I meditate on that string of characters you created and then let my eyes slightly unfocus, it spells out "Obama is Lord". Was that intentional, or just an odd coincidence?
Tom- Thank you for commenting on my work. There are no coincidences in great art. However, it would be direspectful of me to tell you my intention of this piece, as I believe, (as I am sure Yosi, Buffy and Rocco do) that the true beauty of art is having the viewer journey towards it's meaniing, for themsleves. As Yosi Rocco and Buffy have shown us, art is not to be corrupted or manipulated by any influence personal, economical or political. Although art is indeed created by humans, It is to remain true to itself unhindered by the trappings of man. Thank you.
I don't understand. If this is unhindered by the trappings of man, how can it be on the edge of anything, even nothingness? I am confused. Do I need help from someone in our government right now?
*(*)* Yes! I've done it.. There it is. I have flatulated my masterpiece for Yosi, the NEA and all that is right … er left. It's my wafting ode to the much maligned greek god Euripadeez. The performance art category may never be the same. Thank you in advance Iowahawk for the $33.18 – (*) oops, there went a cost overrun to go with it!
Yours in the arts,
Aurelius
Excellent idea! I've been inspired.
If I win, you can donate my award to the Hannah Giles fund!
Excellent idea! I've been inspired.
If I win, you can donate my award to the Hannah Giles fund.
Finally a chance for us conservative artists to get a chance at the big bucks.
see my art
wontondon.com
Who knew you could paint a picture of Nancy Pelosi with ascii art?. When I read it backwards, I have a sudden desire for botox injections. What evil hast thou wrought?
If I win, can I have the can of Schlitz beer instead?
If I win, can I have the can of Schlitz beer instead? Nothing says "bad beer" like Schlitz!
Schlitz? They still make that stuff? Who knew?
…velvet elvis anyone?
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i had an entry, but accidentally flushed.
.
You may think it's just a period, but I call it "Contemplating Eternity." It will be the first in a series, so as you can see I could really use the money. The second one will look something like ' , ' or ' : ' but I haven't worked out the logistics and my art supply budget.
Iowahawk certainly doesn't lack for material these days. Unlike all those other comedians, who are still making fun of Reagan, Bush and Palin like it's fresh or original anymore.
Long live Iowahawk!
this looks like the evidence seized at john wayne gacy's home
Tom- Thank you for commenting on my work. There are no coincidences in great art. However, it would be direspectful of me to tell you my intention of this piece, as I believe, (as I am sure Yosi, Buffy and Rocco do) that the true beauty of art is having the viewer journey towards it's meaniing, for themselves. As Yosi Rocco and Buffy have shown us, art is not to be corrupted or manipulated by any influence personal, economical or political. Although art is indeed created by humans, It is to remain true to itself unhindered by the trappings of man. Thank you.
Dearest Suzie, I am glad you have started your internal journey. If on that journey if you should happen to come up with some nifty OBAMA videos, songs or paintings, you will be paid well. Keep it real babe.
Yes, NEA grant eligible, but I must question Iowahawks questionable value in doing the "clown" thingee. We find that racist and are offended. Oh, my cat is offended by the cat thingee.
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