Red Scare
by IowahawkFILM PROJECTOR
thlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthl
ROLL TITLES
“It Could Happen Here!”
A PRESENTATION OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY
JANET NAPOLITANO, DIRECTOR
IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
AND THE HOUSE ANTI-TAX ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE
AN IOWAHAWK EDUCATIONAL FILMS PRODUCTION
SCROLL
march music
The story you are about to see is true. Or, at least, could be true. At this very moment dangerous subversive extremist elements are infiltrating our communities and schools, bent on destroying our American Way of Life. These are the shadowy forces of International Constitutionalism. Agents from the Department of Homeland Security are on the trail of these nefarious Red State saboteurs, but it will take a vigilant public – including ordinary high school students like you – to help bring them to justice before it’s too late. Only with your help can we preserve the American Way!
– Janet A. Napolitano
NARRATOR
This is Pinewood Lane, in Anytown, USA. A street probably a lot like yours. Happy citizens enjoying the bounty of living in this great land of ours. At 1102 we find the Baxters — Mom and Pop, teen twins Bobby and Debbie, little Susie and Grandpa. A typical family who knows what it means to be an American. Why, here comes Gus the Mailman! I wonder what he’s got in his mailbag for the Baxters?
How about that — it’s a mortgage bailout for Pop, an NEA grant for Mom’s transgressive performance art collective, and guaranteed student loan applications for the twins. They’re off to State U next fall to study Lacanian Semiotics, you know. And for Gramps, a letter from Medicare — they’ve finally approved that gender reassignment surgery he’s always wanted.
Yes sir, that’s a mighty fine benefits package the Baxters harvested today, all courtesy of the United States of America in Washington DC. Hey, wait Gus! Before you head off to your next stop, Pop has something for you, too. It’s his annual tax contribution ready for delivery. Patriotic Pop is mailing it early this year because he knows the wise folks in Washington will put that money to work for all of us through the collective magic of economic stimulus. No wonder Pop sealed it with a kiss!
That’s the beauty of our American Free Prize System – regular folks bundling our money together for our leaders, who return it a thousandfold in free prizes for all. How does it work? All we really need to know is that it’s the best system in the world. A lot of us take it for granted – but there are some who want to take it away.
hoodlum peers behind a tree at the Baxters; sneers, combs greasy mop with a switchblade comb
HORNS
bomp bomp BAAAAAAAAH!
fade out
NARRATOR
It’s first period American History at Anytown Chomsky High. Hey, it looks like there’s a new face in class — could it be the mysterious young stranger from Pinewood Lane?
MS. ANDERSON
All right, students, calm down. We have a new boy joining in class. John? John Smith, stand up and say hello to your new classmates.
JOHNNY
Hey Toots, I go by “Johnny,” see?
class laughs, Bobby and Debbie Baxter exchange concerned looks
MS. ANDERSON
That will be quite enough, students! And I suggest you watch that sassy mouth of yours, Mr. Smith. Now everyone open your textbook to page 23, “Iraq: America’s Imperialist Hegemony Chickens Come Home to Roost.”
NARRATOR
Bobby and Debbie notice that there’s something just quite not right about Johnny. The air of contempt. The pasty complexion. The way he slouches and fidgets in his desk when when the teacher explains America’s legacy of genocidal racism.
MS. ANDERSON
Now who can tell me how capitalist phallocracy gave rise to Military-Industrial Complex? Mr. Smith?
Johnny snaps his fingers rhythmically, unaware he is being called on
Mr. Smith… is that a transistor radio earphone?
JOHNNY
Oh yeah… hey, teach, like, it’s cool, I’m listening to NPR. Terri Gross is talking about gay marriage chapels in Vermont.
Ms. Anderson walks over and grabs the radio out of his motorcycle jacket
MS. ANDERSON
Just as I thought… AM talk radio! Young man, report to re-education hall this minute for fairness cleansing!
Johnny swaggers out of the class, combing his hair; Bobby and Debbie Baxter exchange concerned looks; fade out
NARRATOR
During lunchtime in the school cafeteria, Bobby and Debbie see the new student Johnny sitting alone. They want to be friendly, and have been trained to be on the alert for potential Columbine-style loners and outcasts. So they decide to strike up a conversation with him — but they’re in for a big surprise.
BOBBY
Mind if we sit down?
JOHNNY
Go ahead, it’s a free country.
BOBBY
Haha, good one! You’re quite the cut-up, Johnny. By the way, I’m Bobby Baxter. I’m a senior and president of the Future Tax Collectors of America.
JOHNNY
Reet poteet, Daddy-o. Hubba hubba, who’s the tomato?
Johnny ogles Debbie hungrily
DEBBIE
I’m Debbie Baxter, Bobby’s twin sister. I’m varsity captain of the Eco Spirit-ettes. Go Polar Bears! Where did you say you came from, Johnny?
JOHNNY
Tex… heh, I mean, San Francisco. Yeah, that’s it – San Francisco.
BOBBY
Look, Johnny… we saw what happened in History this morning. Maybe you got off to a rough start, but you’ve still got a chance to fit in. Why don’t you join one of the after-school clubs? There’s the Diversity Club, the Peace-a-longs, The Diversitarians, Feces Art Society, The Multidiversies…
DEBBIE
…don’t forget the Multiculturalettes!
BOBBY
And how, sis! What do you say, Johnny? It’ll be swell! And all our clubs have full federal funding. If you wash that greasy kid stuff out of your hair, I think you might even be FTCA material!
JOHNNY
No dice, Daddy-o! Taxes are for squares.
Bobby and Debbie look at each other quizzically
DEBBIE AND BOBBY
“Squares”?
JOHNNY
Yeah – L-7s. Cubes. Melvins. Nosebleeds.
DEBBIE
Bobby… I think he means he doesn’t like them!
BOBBY
Johnny! Keep it down! Do you want the Hate Speech monitors to hear you? That kind of language could be interpreted by as illegally offensive! They could send you off to Juvie for that!
JOHNNY
Ha! There ain’t no such thing as illegal speech.
BOBBY
What!? Says who?
JOHNNY
Sez dis.
Johnny whips out a laminated card from his dungaree pocket, close up of the Constitution
HORNS
bomp bomp BAAAAAAAAH!
NARRATOR
And so it begins. What Debbie and Bobby don’t know is that “John Smith” is actually Johnny “Snake” Republico, secret agitator for the forces of International Constitutionalism — the insidious extreme rightwing ideology that seeks to bring America to its knees by enslaving our helpless unsuspecting government, and stop it from giving you all the things that you want. It spreads like a cancer, slowly driving victims into violent, racist, anti-tax madness. It takes a strong will to resist the Consties’ hypnotic sales pitch — are Debbie and Bobby up to it?
DEBBIE
“In Congrefs”… what is this thing?
JOHNNY
Get hip to the glissando, kitten! Feast you baby blues on the Constitutionalist Manifesto. Dig this… I got the right to say what I want, pray how I want, assemble with anybody I want, nice and peaceable-like. It’s all right there in Amendment numero uno!
BOBBY
Whoa, hold on there. Ms. Anderson says that kinda stuff is only for the Guantanamo prisoners!
JOHNNY
Just read it, Daddy-o. It’ll flip your lid and make you blast off to crazyville!
fade out; fade into split screen of Bobby and Debbie in their respective beds, reading the Constitutionalist Manifesto with flashlights
NARRATOR
Against their better judgment, and the warnings of their teachers, Bobby and Debbie Baxter decide to experiment with Constitutionalism. ‘Just a little before bed, to help me relax,’ they say. Soon their curiosity grows stronger. Mom and Pop start noticing changes.
MOM
Lights out, Debbie! Remember you have that big Patriarchy midterm tomorrow.
DEBBIE
Yes Mother. Oh, and and Mother… can I borrow Grampa’s makeup tomorrow? Johnny is taking me to the Spring Mandatory Sensitivity Grievance Hop tomorrow night.
MOM
Johnny Smith? That strange greasy rude boy your brother has been hanging around lately? Oh, Debbie, I’m just not sure…
DEBBIE
Please mother? Shulamith Firestone is leading one of the workshops. I think putting on a little makeup will help raise Johnny’s conscious about lookism. Aren’t we supposed to mobilize the lumpenproles?
MOM
Well… alright. I don’t suppose Grandpa will mind if you borrow a little of his rouge and mascara. But stay out of his gown closet, young lady! G’night.
In the living room
MOM
George, I’m worried about the kids. Ever since they started hanging around that Smith boy, they’ve been acting strangely. Do you think we ought to report it to the authorities?
Pop looks up from his copy of In These Times
POP
Now that you mention it, Bobby has been out-of-sorts lately. I got a note from the school mental health nurse the other day, said Bobby got all het up about “quartering soldiers,” or some nonsense. Kids today, I guess. I wouldn’t get worked up though, I guess it’s probably just one of those teenage phases.
MOM
I suppose so. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had aborted them when I had the chance.
NARRATOR
Instead of trusting their own instincts, Mom and Pop let the incidents pass, neglecting their duty to alert trained federal security authorities in the deluded hope that the problem would go away on its own. Every time Bobby and Debbie met Johnny after school “at the malt shop” things turned worse — much worse. Debbie dropped out of Multiculturalettes and the Eco-Peps. Bobby’s grades in Community Journalism and Queer Theory plummeted. Then one night Johnny dropped by the Baxters’ to pick up the twins for some sort of “party”…
POP
Hi there, you must be Johnny. Say, that’s quite an automobile you got out there. What is it?
JOHNNY
It’s a ‘49 Merc. I mean… Prius.
POP
It sure is big. Are you sure it meets mandatory federal safety and fuel standards?
JOHNNY
Uh, sure, Daddy-o. It’s like, uh, solar-powered.
POP
Well, I’ll be! Sure makes a lot of noise for a solar. I couldn’t help but notice you don’t have a single bumper sticker on it.
JOHNNY
Oh, yeah. well, ya see, um, I just put on a new paint job. Lacq… I mean, sure, some kinda super ecology saver paint. All copacetic with Big Mama Planet, and like that.
POP
Phew! That’s a relief. For a minute there I thought you might be one of those no-bumpersticker extremists. I don’t want you young folks to get pulled over on suspicion of anything. Here, take one of my Nader 04’s. Say, is that snake tattoo on your arm? “Don’t Tread On Me”… what does that mean?
JOHNNY
What is this, Daddy-o — some kind of interrogation? I”m pleading the 5th!
BOBBY
Reet poteet, Jackson! Slip me some skin!
Bobby and Johnny go through elaborate handshake
Hurry up, sis, It’s time to agitate the gravel!
POP
Robert Baxter! Since when did you start talking like that? And why are you wearing a tricorn hat?
BOBBY
Unlax, Daddy-o! I know my rights!
DEBBIE
Hey, Tiger.
Debbie is at the top of the staircase, chewing gum in capri pants and tight American flag sweater. Johnny lets out a long wolf whistle.
MOM
Deborah! For Gaia’s sake, stop objectifying yourself! Just what kind of party is this?
JOHNNY
The wildest, baby. The wildest!
DEBBIE AND BOBBY
Ha ha ha!
Debbie, Bobby and Johnny race out to Johnny’s Merc and peel out
POP
Lucille… what is this thing that dropped out of Johnny’s coat?
HORNS
bomp bomp BAAAAAAAAH!
MOM
Great Earth Mother… it’s a teabag! Look away, George!
Pop shrieks, begins sobbing uncontrollably on Mom’s shoulder; fade out
NARRATOR
After an emergency call to the Department of Homeland Security, two of the bureau’s top agents arrive on the scene to help the Baxters stop the madness from ending in tragedy.
AGENT JONES
It’s a good thing you called us when you did, Ms. Baxter. We ran the description you gave us through the DHS Univac, and we positively ID’d the suspect as Johnny “Snake” Republico, notorious ant-tax rebel.
GRANDPA
Can I offer you officers some free trade espresso? It’s fresh!
AGENT JONES
No thank you ma’am. Gee, that’s a pretty dress you have on there.
GRANDPA (flustered)
oh you sweet thing!
AGENT JONES
As I was saying, we’ve had Republico on our watch list for some time. He’s no teenager — he’s a babyfaced adult and a card-carrying Constie. In fact, he spent a 3-year stretch in the Marines.
POP
Marines!?
shreiks, sobs
AGENT OLSEN
I’m sorry you had to hear that sir, but I’m afraid your children are in great danger. Republico matches every profile we have for a dangerous sleeper terrorist – pallid complexion, male, military veteran, weirdly unenthusiastic about paying taxes. It all adds up to one simmering, boiling cauldron of racist, misogynist, anti-government, anti-tax terrorism waiting to explode. In fact, we believe he may even have a gun.
POP
gun!?
shreiks, sobs
AGENT OLSEN
Yes sir. Owning guns is part of the Consties’ sick and perverted Manifesto. In fact, the Marines make their recruits swear an oath to it. If I were a betting man I’d say Republico has kidnapped your children and taken them to some sort of illegal Tea Party gathering where they’re about to be brainwashed — without the proper Department of Education permits!
MOM
Are you sure?
AGENT JONES
Ma’am, Agent Olsen is the top expert analyst on the DHS rightwing monitoring task force. Olsen, show her your Georgetown PoliSci diploma.
MOM
I’m sorry, I didn’t know. What gets in these people’s heads — don’t they know that our very lives depend on government? Our mortgages, our jobs, our food, Garrison Keillor – without taxes, how do these Consties think we can pay dedicated public servants like you?
AGENT JONES
It’s a mystery Ma’am.
Gus the kindly mailman bursts through the door
GUS THE MAILMAN
Agents! Come quick! there’s some sort of ruckus down at the docks!
agents put on fedoras and bolt to the door; fade out
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, at the docks, Bobby and Debbie Baxter are going through Stage 2 of the Consties’ evil indoctrination program — a so-called “Tea Party” led by Constie propagandist saboteur and rightwing hate DJ Smash Taxbill.
SMASH
Welcome hepcat daddy-os and teen comrades! The hour of our ascendancy is here! Tonight we will poison the entire waterfront with our teabags, and bring the entire government of Anytown to a halt — and without filling out an environmental impact statement! Minorities and women will be hardest hit! Bwahahaha! Today Anytown, tomorrow Berkeley! Now, look closely into the spinning spiral… feel the soothing rights…
BOBBY, DEBBIE, JOHNNY (mesmerized)
All Hail Madison and Jefferson!
screaming sirens, screeching tires
SMASH
Cheese it! It’s the feds!
pandemonium as DHS agents burst onto the scene, guns blazing
AGENT OLSEN
Stop! In the name of the Fairness Doctrine!
Olsen unload seventeen rounds into Taxbill’s gut; he clutches his chest and drops lifeless over a crate of Celestial Seasonings
BOBBY
Nooooo! Not Snake!
Just as Jones is about to fire at Republico, Bobby Baxter jumps in front of the bullet and drops to the floor
JOHNNY
Speak to me Daddy-o!
BOBBY
Live… free… or… die….
Bobby drops dead.
JOHNNY
You’ll never take me without a warrant, coppers!
Johnny scales the nearby Anytown watertower
Top of the World, Ma!
DEBBIE
Johnny, give yourself up, baby! We can fight this in court, just like it says in the Manifesto!
JOHNNY
Yeah, yeah, that’s the ticket! The Manifesto will protect me!
Johnny pulls the laminated Constitutionalist Manifesto from his cuff and brandishes it at the agents
Come and get me, you filthy coppers!
AGENT OLSEN
Open fire!
A hail of bullets slice through Johnny’s Manifesto, and he tumbles 100 feet to his death. Olsen and Jones stand over his lifeless body.
AGENT OLSEN
Ironic, isn’t it?
AGENT JONES
How’s that?
AGENT OLSEN
Seems Johnny and his pals ended up just like their heros – dead white males.
AGENT JONES
It’s even more ironic that he fell from a government water tower, on to this goverment sidewalk.
AGENT OLSEN
If you ask me, ‘Twas beauty that killed the grease. Speaking of which, book Debbie Baxter — on aggravated political deliquency!
Debbie is frog-marched to a waiting DHS paddywagon
MOM
Well, young lady, what do you have to say for yourself?
DEBBIE
Hah hah hah! Guess what? I’m pregnant with Johhny’s child!
HORNS
bomp bomp BAAAAAAAAH!
POP
Sweet holy Gaia! Do you realize what this means, Lucille?
MOM
Debbie’s first abortion! Oh honey, we’re so happy for you!
DEBBIE
Abortion? I’m going through the birth! And then I’m giving it away… to a pentacostal preacher in Oklahoma!
HORNS
bomp bomp BAAAAAAAAH!
Pop shrieks, faints
MOM
Not if I can help it!
Mom grabs Olsen’s revolver
Time for a certain late term medical procedure, you ungrateful brat! Taste my right to choose!
Mom fires 11 shots; Debbie drops to the floor, dead
HORNS
bomp bomp BAAAAAAAAH!
AGENT JONES
Good aborting there, Ms. Olsen!
GRANDPA
Anyone for expresso? I made it fresh! Did I miss something?
BAXTERS, AGENTS
Oh, Gramps, you scalawag!
everyone laughs happily; fade out to swelling music
JANET NAPOLITANO
Hello, I’m Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano. Although this particular story ended happily, who knows what could have happened to the US Treasury had the Baxters not alerted the authorities? That’s why it’s important for students like you to remain ever-vigilant for the warning signs of International Constitutionalism, and know how to respond. Do any of your classmates nod off in class during various Cultural Awareness Weeks? Does the soda jerk at the local malt shop complain about his FICA withholding? Have you heard rumors of unsanctioned, not-for-credit protest marches?
If so, you may be face to face with a Constie. Don’t panic, and remember the 4 steps: (1) Stop, Drop and Roll. (2) Duck and Cover. (3) Cover your ears, and scream “Teabaggers! Teabaggers!” (4) Call your local Department of Homeland Security office to clear the area. Practice with your friends and teachers, and pay attention during the weekly school drills. It’s up to all of us to stop the Consties, because the next victim could be you… or you… or YOU.
THE END
FILM PROJECTOR
thlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthl fwipfwipfwipfwip fwipfwip fwip fwip… fwip…. fwip
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46 Comments
Funny stuff, Dave! A parallel universe Firesign Theater.
"It had been snowing in Santa Barbara since the top of the page…………"
Great script 'hawk, any offers? The sequel could be "Red Dawn"…oh ya, it's been done, and done damn well. Who woulda thunkit…Red Dawn could happen…Carter will be soooo proud.
Great script 'hawk, any offers? The sequel could be "Red Dawn"…oh ya, it's been done, and done damn well. Who woulda thunkit…Red Dawn could happen…Carter will be soooo proud.
That would be funny if it weren't so painfully true! D:
[...] News Sources wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptFILM PROJECTOR thlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthlthl ROLL TITLES “It Could Happen Here!” A PRESENTATION OF THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY JANET NAPOLITANO, DIRECTOR IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION THE U.S. DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE AND THE HOUSE ANTI-TAX ACTIVITIES COMMITTEE AN IOWAHAWK EDUCATIONAL FILMS PRODUCTION SCROLL march music The story you are about to see is true. Or, at least, could be true. At this very moment dangerous subver [...]
As always killer stuff man, dig the wit! A definite example of future government dweebs!
Another great piece. I almost dropped my kid from my lap.
Too close to true!
This would make a great film short. It's almost as good as Iowahawk's "Subscribe Now!", which would make a brilliant movie.
Absolutely pitch-perfect and hilarious. One of the best you've ever done, I think, thank you!
"Hey untax Dadio"
I love it.
Hi, Team: I'm not the grandfather having the sex change paid for by the feds. Here, you can get the City to pay for it. I'm actually not having any operation at all (at least not that one), but even though I made the remark in jest, nevertheless the part about the city paying for it is true, if you work for the city government.
With the exception that rather than being invaded and forced to adopt a collectivist police state, we come around to it of our own accord. Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Che and the rest will have a moment of respite in hell.
When's Iowahawk hitting Hollywood? I want to finally have the moral sanction to pay full price for a movie instead of waiting for it to hit the $5 bin at Target!!!
What a wicked tale he weaves. Those zany constitutionalist can be such a pain in the bum. I thank Ms. Napolitano for identifying the true defilers of the new republic. Kudos Hawk.
Can't wait for the sequel – duck and cover.
When global warming comes, duck and cover …
I actually had to sit through those late fifties and early sixties "educational films." The early ones left us without a clue, unless you were a fan of tadpoles swimming around on glass slides. The later ones showed us the gory and graphic results of untreated syphilis and gonorrhea without at least hinting to us exactly how you got them. It's amazing we ever had sex because all we could conclude was sex had something to do with it, and without further information we weren't going to try anything that could end up causing little me to look like that picture. It was great to have Seeger later tell us we weren't alone "working on a mystery without any clues." As for the "duck and cover," I don't think anyone actually believed that. But bomb shelters looked really cool. Iowahawk was actually pretty generous in his piece.
I'm only in my early-to-mid 30s, so I'm a little young for duck and cover, but I did experience "Blood on the Asphalt" and futile attempts at sex education through VHS.
They tried showing us a sex-ed film in fifth grade, but we were too rowdy to make it through. The next attempt was in eighth grade, when the teacher thought it was wise to bring in the beginning of "Look Who's Talking" and show the sperm scene complete with the Beach Boys singing "I Get Around." She might as well passed out Mountain Dew and pixie sticks.
My next scholastic sex adventure came sophomore year, when a group of libs from Planned Parenthood did a presentation on how to install a condom, using the donut-type toy holder from Playskool. This went well until one of my friends claimed problems, because he was much bigger than the donut holder and offered to demonstrate. Several girls walked out in embarrassment and parents called until the group was banned from coming back to the school. This was in the early 90s when administrators still listened to parents.
And I'm enthusiastically waiting for T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII to voice his displeasure with the rubes and cast downs holding their little 'tea parties' and desecrating the fine art of government tax collecting. The nerve of it all.
Admittedly, my only experience with 1950s educational films is through MST3K, but this is just SPOT-on (complete with the blaring horn music). If some aspiring filmmakers could just get together and make this…
Just gorgeous stuff, Dave. This is astonishing parody, and spot on.
Like LawhawkSF, I'm definitely old enough to remember this stuff from the early '50s, and I didn't see it in California, either. Imagine living in the middle of the country with only a radio, and freaking out every time a plane flew over at night…
Oh yeah, the other thing we had besides the Atomic Bomb paranoia was tornado warnings, which were more frequent and often real. Anybody remember being taught to hide against the basement (that's a hole under your house, Californians) wall closest to the wind direction?
I graduated HS in the late 80's so I remember "Blood on the Asphalt" well. Sex ed wasn't quite as silly when I took it, but I had an uncommonly good teacher who didn't try to be cool about it. This was more-or-less pre-AIDS though, so STD's were talked about, but not a big deal yet. Oh wait. AIDS isn't considered a big deal anymore is it? I forget, why is sex ed supposed to be a good idea?
Brilliant, Sir
Awesome! It would actually be hilarious if it weren't so TRUE!
"I’m a senior and president of the Future Tax Collectors of America." That made me snicker
I can almost hear the voice of Rod Serling from Twilight Zone.
Here's another classic.."can I borrow Grampa’s makeup tomorrow? " LMBO!
I read a story by Ray Bradbury in 1973.
It was about actors on a T V program who removed the Govt. Mandated make-up and heavy metal blocks to inhibit their movement in order to make them "JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE". The actors then began a spontaneous dance that defied earthly bounds only to have it ended by a FEMALE GOVT. DI – rector of some official security directive who promptly ended this display with 2 shotgun blasts……….1973……I was 15 years old and hiding the book with that story inside my sophmore biology book because I loved to read…………stories.
God help us all
Awesome piece. Reading the intro I was actually mentally transported back to the 50's and those black and white info films we used to watch. I remember having drills in school to duck and cover under our desks. Like that would ever really help. Things sure have changed. When I was in school the Commies were the enemies of our freedom. Who would have thought that now I am the enemy of the US Government merely because I am practicing what I was taught in my civics classes way back then.
Thanks to all those dumba** voters for this "change".
Now do you guys see why I say if I wasn't lazy and married I'd stalk Burge? Dave, why don't you post your Mary Tyler Moore bit starring Jane Hamsher from FireDogLake here? I think most people know who she is, right? Anyway, awesome as always.
Now there’s a caring city, barf.
Off topic, but YOU WANT TO SEE THIS:
http://www.pjtv.com/video/Afterburner_/The_Cost_o...
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! That was gold.
This seems 'screen ready' to me. Why hasn't your stimulus check arrived yet?
You can actually hear the whirring of the projector and feel the embarrassment at the stilted acting. Bravo!
[...] Insane Life placed an observative post today on Red ScareHere’s a quick excerpt…benefits package the Baxters harvested today, all courtesy of the United States of America in … explains America’s legacy of genocidal… [...]
I had to look up Lacanian Semiotics.
Not to be persnickety, but I think you're talking about "Harrison Bergeron," by Kurt Vonnegut, not Bradbury.
Heil! Why can't I come up with a story like that. Hollywood would be all over it. I could then be patriotic and pay my regular tax but as one of the 90% of Americans who got a tax reduction (it's gotta be around here somewhere), I could give some back to The One who would then fairly and equally distribute it among the poor.
Heil, I'm a screenwriter and I'm poor so some of it would come back to me. Win-win all round! All Heil to the Theif!
Spot on down to the "Bomp-bomp-BAAAAA " sting. Not worthy!!! Not worthy!!!
Absolutely perfect sound of the 16mm film projector. It's like I was in 5th grade again in 1962.
Yes, that one was definitly worthy of being posted here. Keep'm coming!
Just checking……and …Thank you…good to see a solid proof after a counter check..such is "These Times"…..Imagine the Blue Blush…."sic".. of our fossil Kurt, on seeing his drug induced typewriter whimsy
becoming a poss reality before he died?….Maybe i work to much……is he already DEAD? I think he is..or maybe I just sense his lack of relevance..like so many of his kind from the…six-tees…ty-die freaks and all…..bottom line..Bill Graham was FRIED by the POWER-LINES….such was his fate. You folks are not up to what is coming…sorry, I just can see over the horizon a little farther than you………:)
I checked again today, and sure enough I can't find a single troll here. They couldn't all have slept in this weekend, so I conclude that they are in mortal terror of bringing Iowahawk's laser-like wit down on their empty crania. I suggest, Dave, that if the beer fund is low you might consider marketing Iowahawk brand Troll Repellent to other blogs. Imagine the soiled knickers when the would-be troll sees the warning:" This comment section is protected by Iowahawk brand Troll Repellent; Do you feel lucky, Troll?"
For sure, jackboot Janet''s weathermen will have you on the list as soon as the parody dawns on them. Idea: could you actually do this as a Team America puppet production?
Iowahawk, this post is a meal. You nailed it.
Mr. B. Natural!
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