In this episode, “NewsBusted” covers: President Obama, Halloween, Media Research Center Staff, Illegal Alien Costume, Republican National Committee, White House Payoffs, ObamaCare, Safe School Czar, Iranian Foreign Minister Mottaki, Ambulance Fees, and Michael Moore.

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Note: No children were actually sent to Guantanamo Bay during the making of this movie.

Sharing great movies with those who haven’t seen them is a passion of mine, so that would be the focus of my choices (and why I love Miller choosing “Dodsworth“).

1. Springtime in the Rockies (1942) — Check this cast out: Betty Grable, Carmen Miranda, John Payne, Cesar Romero, Harry James, Charlotte Greenwood and Edward Everett Horton. Twentieth Century-Fox had them some stars and TCM would just have to make a phone call to Fox and borrow this simple, sweet, unassuming color musical packed with a dozen lovely tunes over a very well-paced 91 minutes. Fox could never compete with what MGM was doing in the musical department, and to their credit didn’t really try. So instead of aspiring to create classics they went for escapism, and sometimes those are the best movies of them all.  

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2. Where the Sidewalk Ends (1950) — Director Otto Preminger and The Mighty Dana Andrews made a number of tough little noirs together but the story of Mark Dixon (Andrews), a stoic, brutal cop who plays rough with the bad guys and is thisclose to losing his job, ranks in my All-Time Top 50. Just as his emotional life opens up courtesy of the luminous Gene Tierney – she with the overbite to die for – Dixon finds himself a criminal when he takes things too far, kills a suspect, and goes to great lengths to cover his crime up. An amazing cinematic accomplishment and beautifully photographed in glorious black and white with enough atmosphere for five movies.

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3. The Southerner (1945) — An American film directed by French Director Jean Renoir, this absorbing tale covering a year in the hard life of a family of Depression-era tenant farmers fighting the elements and their troublesome neighbors is a stunningly filmed, beautifully acted near-masterpiece. Zachary Scott and Betty Field personify quiet perseverance and a supporting cast that includes Beulah Bondi, J. Carrol Naish and Percy Kilbride is just as marvelous. I’ve been a fan for 25 years and keep waiting for the revival, especially with Renoir attached, but not yet — though I haven’t lost faith.

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4. The Swimmer (1968) – Burt Lancaster was 54 when he made this so be prepared to resent him for looking so good wearing only a pair of swim trunks, which he does throughout most of the movie. The story is simple: Ned Merrill (an outstanding – as usual – Lancaster) decides to “swim” home using the suburban swimming pools of his neighbors. You have no idea what the hell’s going on or even what the whole thing’s about until a psychological puzzle starts to emerge, and where it leads will hit like a ton of bricks. The cinematography is beyond impressive, perfectly capturing a time and place – which is vital to the success of one of the most original movies you’ll ever see.

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5. The Exterminating Angel (1962) - A Mexican film written and directed by Luis Brunel Bunuel and one of the more bizarre cinematic offerings to come out of any country. After the opera, a group of high society types enjoy a lavish dinner party but no one leaves. They can’t. No one can bring themselves to walk out the door. Nothing stops them. No one keeps them. They just can’t cross the threshold to go home. Days pass. The food runs out. Some fall ill. They’re shipwrecked in a room…  Bunuel’s surreal and fascinating criticism of never ending upper class dinner parties plays like a great, subtitled “Twilight Zone.”

Those are my five. Which five would you foist on the American people?

My personal Top 15 are ranked as my favorites always are — based on nothing more than re-watchability. “Rocky Balboa” might not be better written, photographed or acted than any number of films not on this list, but I’m going to watch it a helluva lot more, that’s for sure.  

1. The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007) – Ever since the lights came up after that first screening, like a drug this lyrical, gorgeously photographed piece of myth-making has tugged me back for another taste. This isn’t easy to admit, but I think I admire Andrew Dominik’s directorial debut even more than John Ford’s “Young Mister Lincoln” (1939), which it resembles in so many ways. Were this also a listing of the greatest performances of the new millennium, Casey Affleck’s portrayal of Robert Ford would rank #1, as well.

2. The Passion of the Christ (2004) – Easily, the purest and rawest emotional cinematic experience I’ve ever had. The Left’s bigoted, venomous attacks combined with the film’s eventual blockbuster success were almost as satisfying as the re-election of George W. Bush.

3. The Dark Knight (2008) - Watching liberal critics gush over a not-so-thinly disguised thank you to President Bush and then harumph and find fault after conservatives calmly explained what this epic of action, character and allegory is really about, was nearly as much fun as the movie.

4. Up (2009) - As far as pure film-making and storytelling goes this exquisite, touching story of the adventure required to help a widower move on after losing the love of his life, is the most perfect picture on the list. In fact, it is perfect. Simply, beautifully perfectly perfect.

5. The Lives of Others (2006) – I’ve read that this unflinching look at the corrosive effects of Big Oppressive Government on the human soul was one of the late great William F. Buckley’s favorites. How’s that for an endorsement? There’s talk of an American remake, which I’m in favor of, because there’s no doubt it will come out as a disastrous failure in every respect. Liberty=good is an idea that no longer computes among those still interested in producing the adult drama. Movies may not be anywhere near as good as they were even ten years ago, but watching Leftist propaganda — which this will surely be twisted into — flop makes for a nice consolation prize.

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6. Mulholland Drive (2001) – Director David Lynch’s masterpiece was reportedly an aborted television pilot, and yet he somehow turned it into something that out-dreams dreams and out-nightmares nightmares. Mesmerizing, sexy, frightening…. and all driven by a visionary director who created a hypnotic puzzlebox unlike anything we’ve seen before or will again. My eternal thanks to my movie-watching buddy Jim Sprader for bringing it over that day…

7. 300 (2006) – God bless director Zack Snyder for not gutting and nuancing Frank Miller’s brilliant take on the Battle of Thermopylae. Hopefully, someday, Hollywood will become a tolerant place where the conservative, pro-Western themes of “300″ won’t have to be disguised in this way. Not that I mind. Visually, “300″ was not only richly rewarding, but proof that in the hands of a genius director CGI can enhance the story as opposed to distract.

8. Once (2006) – A poignant, affecting and unforgettable musical romance made in Ireland for next to no money. The song’s are stirring, the performances impeccable, the script witty… But more than all of that is a tenderness and gentle humanity rarely found in theatres these days. The perfect rainy afternoon comfort food.

9. Napoleon Dynamite (2004) - Normally my opinion of quirky is that it’s nothing more than irony gone retarded, but in a remarkable debut, co-writer/director Jared Hess strips the cynicism that usually defines quirk and replaces it with old-fashioned heart and sentiment.

10. Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) – Unflustered as he steps from a sinking ship onto a pier, Johnny Depp’s Captain Jack Sparrow also stepped into cinema lore and earned enough goodwill to carry two lacking sequels to box office glory. At least through 2003, we lovers of classic cinematic adventure could no longer say, “They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.”

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11. Ratatouille (2007) – Man, I loves me that little rat. Most people choose “The Incredibles” as their favorite Brad Bird entry in the Pixar canon, but Anton Ego’s monologue about the difference between those in the arena and those, like me, who snipe from the bleachers (”But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so…”) might be the best piece of dialogue since Orson Welles’ take on the cuckoo clock in “The Third Man.”

12. No Country For Old Men (2007) - This Coen Brothers Best Picture winner passes the test of a timeless classic: Each viewing is richer than the one that came before.

13. Shaun of the Dead (2004) – Funny, scary, imaginative and about as original as they come.

14. Gone Baby Gone (2007) – What “Mystic River” wanted to be and its defenders said it was can be found in Ben Affleck’s stunningly mature and emotionally devastating directorial debut. Everything from the character accents, the subtly of the performances and the many, many complicated moral questions raised are handled with precision and confidence. Best of all, Affleck leads us to one final and unforgettable closing shot where Casey Affleck silently proves he’s willing to do more than make the terrible decision which cost him everything, he’s willing to take responsibility for it. 

15. Rocky Balboa (2006) – Who would have ever thought writer/director Sylvester Stallone could pull this off? But he did. And I love it more each time I see it.

20 runners up in no particular order: Friday Night Lights, Dawn of the Dead, Kill Bill I & II, Watchmen, Iron Man, Gran Torino, Casino Royale, Pursuit of Happyness, Amelie, In the Bedroom, Million Dollar Baby, Taken, 28 Weeks Later, The Station Agent, A.I., Sexy Beast, Saving Silverman, Monster’s Ball and Match Point.

1. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987) - The hardest I have ever laughed in my life. There I was in the theater; bent over, my feet off the ground, convulsing and gasping for air. As a stand-alone, the scene’s funny, but Hughes meticulously uses everything that came before as a perfect set up to create an epic comedic moment. It’s so well-crafted that no matter how many times you watch, the laughs don’t diminish. A true classic in my book, alongside the Marx Brothers, Preston Sturges and Billy Wilder. (Runner up: “Those aren’t pillows!”)

P.S. I miss John Candy.

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2. Pretty in Pink (1986) - When I was in high school I thought the bravest thing a guy could do was tell some girl who would never love him how much he loved her. Duckie was my hero and this balls-out plea for something, anything from Molly Ringwald wins my admiration every time. He’s angry, he’s hurt, and he just doesn’t give a damn. The touch of hostility mixed with longing and frustration is what makes the scene so much more than just another excuse to pad the soundtrack. You can feel the guy dying inside. And is Annie Potts cute, or what?

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3. Sixteen Candles (1984) – Even in Spanish the closing minutes pack a wallop. The kiss is unforgettable but the kicker for me has always been the silent acknowledgement between Molly Ringwald and her father just before she gets in the car. The “hip” will throw stones, but no one — not Martin Scorsese, not Woody Allen — mixed popular music with moving pictures better than John Hughes. There isn’t even a close second. The songs were never a distraction, never a crutch, just perfection.

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4. Christmas Vacation (1989) – Randy Quaid’s Cousin Eddie is one of cinema’s great comic characters. That Quaid didn’t win the Oscar is a crime. Hughes milked every Southern stereotype imaginable through Eddie but never with a hint of mean-spirit. The affection we’re supposed to have for him is intentional and it’s obvious Hughes liked his character for who he was, didn’t look down on him, and wanted us to feel the same way. On the other hand, the hostile dislike Hughes heaped on the yuppie — some might say, Hollywoodish – couple next door was just as obvious.

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5. Uncle Buck (1989) - Buck tormenting the artsy, pretentious beret-wearing Bug out to use his niece is some mighty satisfying cinematic stuff. Here’s part two. Warm-hearted Buck lives in the Midwest, bowls, drinks beer, eats trans-fat… You really don’t get a feel for how hostile present-day Hollywood is towards everyday people until you go back twenty years and get a good look at how we used to be portrayed. Somewhere along the line the unsophisticated (something to be proud of) were turned into quirky buffoons.

P.S. I miss John Hughes.

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1. The Pursuit of Happyness (2006) – A beautifully crafted uniquely American movie where, for once, the antagonist isn’t “the system” or “the racist system.” Chris Gardner (a superb Will Smith) wants something from life. He believes in this country and understands the key to achieving the dream is simple: never, ever give up. A superb script, based on a true story (the real Gardner has a touching cameo in the closing scene) never once takes the grinding pressure off, but aided by genuinely decent people (white Wall Streeters, no less) and driven by a love for his son, rather than play victim, Gardner keeps moving forward long after most of us would’ve surrendered to self pity. Movies don’t get much more conservative than this.

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2. Rocky Balboa (2006) – The second great patriotic/conservative movie of 2006 and the most pleasant surprise of that year. This movie should’ve sucked but after fifteen years in the wilderness (five of them in the straight-to-DVD bin) writer/director Sylvester Stallone went back to the basics of character, plot, the universal theme of what drives the human spirit, and crafted a movie that only gets better with each new viewing. There’s a second great moment in “Rocky Balboa,” this essential truism: “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.”

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3. Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story (1993) – The scene’s closing line sums up the theme of this under-rated, very entertaining bio of The Mighty Bruce Lee. Driven to achieve great success, Lee understands that only in America can his dreams come true. So deep is his love for this country that the film’s crisis point comes when he loses faith in the American Dream after a number of setbacks (thanks mainly to racist Hollywood). But of course, Lee became and remains an American Icon, unfortunately he didn’t live to see it. Though there’s rumors he’s not dead: “They got him frozen in carbonite down under Chatsworth. They’re gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better.”

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4. Rudy (1993) – This movie has never made me cry. Not once. Ever. Really. I don’t lie about such things.

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5. Superman II (1980) – Just a little something to prime my blazing hatred for Bryan Singer’s despicable Truth, justice and all that stuff… “Superman Returns” (2006), which stripped our hero of both his masculinity and Americanism. Not only that, “Returns” is supposed to pick up where part two left off, but again Singer displays only contempt for what Superman is about: his valor. As you can see in this scene, the second chapter closes with Superman promising to never let us down again, but Singer’s sucktacular sequel opens after Superman’s abandoned us for a few years, off trying to find his meterosexual self.

And with that, Happy Birthday, America! Thank you for everything, especially our best; those fine men and women guarding the wall today.

1. Command Decision (1948) – Made just after WWII, this Air Force drama set in 1943 when the outcome of the war was still in doubt, is one of the most intelligent examinations of the burden of command ever put on film. Clark Gable is absolutely outstanding as Casey, a Brigadier General forced to give orders that on their face appear cold and even monstrous, but in truth are just the opposite. Caught between the Washington brass who have a war to sell and the men under him who see only a General ordering their comrades to certain death, Casey is a leader willing to be hated and even lose his command in order to do the greater good. What Casey cares about before anything is saving American lives. That means winning the war as quickly as possible, something which can only be accomplished if unspeakable sacrifices are made in the here and now.  

The film’s real strength lies in a refusal to demonize the different points of view represented. Walter Pidgeon plays Major General Kane, Casey’s superior and the man who has to worry about the political considerations of how Casey’s heavy losses will affect public opinion, which is just upstream from the financial decisions made in Congress. In a less intelligent, lazier film (translation: a modern one) Kane would be portrayed as a bureaucratic boob only worried about his own upward mobility, but not here. Ultimately, we may not like the way Kane’s forced to think but we’re made to understand the idea of competing goods.

Representing the men is Van Johnson who steals every scene oozing a contempt, and at times, an outright hatred for Casey. The moment when he comes to finally understand the bigger picture is both touching and understated – one of Johnson’s finest.

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2. Desperate Journey (1942) – Errol Flynn, Ronald Reagan, Raymond Massey and Alan Hale had such memorable chemistry together in Michael Curtiz’s “Santa Fe Trail” (1940) that the four of them were rounded up two years later for Raoul Walsh’s rousing WWII action/adventure set behind German lines. Shot down on a bombing run, Flynn, Reagan, Hale and Arthur Kennedy are captured by Massey’s Nazi Major who makes a career-mistake in thinking he can convince Reagan to give up secrets [great Reagan video]. What follows is a rollicking actioner very much in the spirit of “Gunga Din” with one of my all-time favorite closing lines delivered by Flynn with the gusto and panache that made him an immortal: “Now for Australia and a crack at those Japs!”

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3. Tomorrow is Forever (1946) – At first it’s easy to confuse this complicated look at a mother’s sacrifice as a soapy melodrama, even a gimmicky one, but that’s because the film doesn’t tell you what it’s really about until a very satisfying climax when the theme plays out fully and comes together. Claudette Colbert and Orson Welles are Elizabeth and John, just married and with their whole lives ahead of them. But it’s 1918, WWI rages and John goes off to do his duty. Alone with a young son, Elizabeth receives a telegram informing her John’s been killed in action. It takes years, but after some time she remarries and watches her boy grow into a man just as WWII begins. After losing her beloved first husband to one war, Elizabeth can’t bear the thought of losing her son to another. This changes when a visitor from war-torn Europe, who may or may not be a much older and nearly crippled John, helps her to understand that what’s at stake in this war is bigger than any mother’s love.

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4. Happy Land (1943) – A horrible title can’t diminish the emotional power of this 20th Century-Fox oddity – a mixture of “A Christmas Carol” and “It’s a Wonderful Life” — about Lew Marsh (Don Ameche-in his finest performance), a pharmacist living in picture-perfect small town America whose life is shattered after he loses his only son to WWII. The ghost of Gramps (the wonderful Harry Carey) snaps Lew out of a clinical depression by taking him on a tour of the past where Lew is allowed to discover things about his beloved son he never knew. This was a generous, selfless boy — a young man to be proud of and mature beyond his years who died for a higher cause he believed in.

“Happy Land” doesn’t simplify a father’s grief or pretend to have all the answers.  When the credits roll, Lew’s still devastated and even a bit bitter. We’ve only been allowed to see the beginning of  a healing process … and that this process will never end is made touchingly clear.

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5. The Fighting Seabees (1944) – One of John Wayne’s lesser known WWII-era films, and one that deserves better recognition. The seabees are C.B.’s as in “Construction Brigade Battalion.” These are the men who build the bridges and airstrips in battle zones. But once upon a time, according to the movie, they were unarmed civilians, not allowed to fight back and frequently picked off by enemy snipers. Enter Wedge Donovan (Wayne), the head of Donovan Construction, who has watched too many of his men die helplessly and so he sets out to allow them to become armed enlisted men – The Fighting Seebees.

What sets this apart from other Wayne films, besides the opportunity to witness Duke dance a jitterbug, is that Wayne plays the role he’s usually up against. Donovan is a not a wise, seasoned pro. He’s an immature hot head whose arrogance and stupidity ends up getting a lot of men killed. Seeing Wayne in this kind of role takes some getting used to, but it adds a memorable emotional stake to what could have been a rote programmer. Of course, Wayne’s character redeems himself – and it’s a spectacular redemption – but that’s all you’re getting from me.

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5. Star Trek: Generations (1994) – Yes, “Where the hell’s Kirk?” was my mantra through most of the second act, but the Next Generation (TNG) crew got off to a promising start with William Shatner’s Captain Kirk bookending events to graciously hand off the baton. Plot holes riddle the story of Malcolm McDowall’s Soran and his maniacal attempt to return to the Nexus, an energy ribbon with a crack-like addictive ability to deliver its inhabitants into a dream-like nirvana (there had to be easier ways to get in the thing other than blowing up an entire friggin’ planet), but the concept of the Nexus – the idea of choosing between a false perfection and an imperfect reality is Trek at its best, and the scene where Picard enjoys a heart-wrenching Christmas with a family he’ll never have is a franchise high point. The best moments, though, arrive when Kirk and Picard, two Captains wildly different in personality but who share a love called Enterprise, come together to save the Universe. The complaints about Kirk’s death being anti-climatic are valid and the less than iconic setting for the demise of an icon is obviously due to budget and imagination constraints, but for me it works. When heroes fall it’s often in nondescript places we’ve never heard of where a stand has been taken to risk one’s life for those they’ve never met. Kirk may not have been real, but his final moments are.

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4. Star Trek: First Contact (1996) – In an episode of TNG series, the crew captures a Borg and creates a virus that once implanted in their captive will wipe out the entire Borg collective. But because TNG could be over-the-top stupid, Picard chooses not to commit “genocide.” The point of my digression? Simple… Mark this moment as the point when, without even knowing it, TNG became the perfect example of how selfish, do-gooder leftism is a recipe for never-ending war and countless miseries. Ever after, every murder and assimilation at the hands of the Borg is solely the fault of Captain Jean-Luc Picard — including those lost in this superb entry that ranks as one of the all-time best time travel movies. This is the only time TNG cast ever came close to gelling, but it’s the menacing Borg, especially the oddly sexy Borg Queen and a truly clever script that creates the kind of stakes and real peril no other TNG film would come close to. The “Moby Dick” allegory is a little on-the-nose, I was kinda digging Picard’s single-minded quest for revenge, but some very charming sequences involving the inventor of warp drive combined with outstanding villains and well-crafted action scenes earned enough audience goodwill to buy the franchise a couple more dismal outings.

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3. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) – Note to my fellow Right-wingers: Don’t let the film’s Save the Whales message interfere with your embracing the warmth, humor and excitement of this thoroughly charming and exciting time travel adventure. You would think that after three television seasons and feature films the relationships and characters would have no place left to grow, and yet the writers and director Leonard Nimoy not only squeeze the fish-out-water concept for all its worth, but forever crystallize the Enterprise crew into a very real and believable family. One of the funniest and most delightful movies of the 80s and a blueprint for how make a cinematic political point without diminishing the fun. Oh, and Catherine Hicks is all kinds of hot.

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2. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) - The deaths of James Doohan and DeForest Kelley sadly insured that this would be the final outing of the full Enterprise crew, but it’s hard to imagine a more fitting send off. Filled with political intrigue, a terrific, old-fashioned mystery and an adventurous subplot on a prison planet, those who thought a crew stocked with senior citizens wouldn’t be able to deliver the goods were in for a pleasant surprise. The first act is the best of the franchise, a perfect setting up of the dynamic between our crew and the prideful but desperate Klingons that all leads to a truly shocking and very well staged assassination sequence. That the remaining 85 minutes lives to the opening 25, never once dragging or releasing the tension for a moment, is a testament to just how good this film is. Another testament is that I walked into the theatre inconsolable with the knowledge that this was it, but left fully satisfied that seven individuals I’d known all my life would live on forever thanks to five timeless feature films that closed with a grand adventure worthy of an emotional investment as strong today as it ever was.

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1. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982) – After a feature debut so dismally disappointing I’ve still not quite recovered from it, like something out of a storybook, “Trek” rose again with a grand space adventure that ranks among the greatest sci-fi pictures ever made. The scene where James T. Kirk inputs the code to drop Khan’s shields is, by a wide margin, the single finest moment of the entire “Trek” canon. The fact that Kirk needs reading glasses to accomplish this combined with Ricardo Montalban’s reaction – a delightful mix of shock and admiration for an “old foe” – upon realizing he’s been tricked, is simply exquisite. “Khan” also represents its own kind of reboot. An entire new mythology was so well crafted here that it built an infrastructure that would see the franchise through four more adventures, thanks mainly to Spock’s death which became the rallying point to turn our intrepid crew into a close-knit family willing to take any risk to stay together. And for my money, this was always the heart of the series.

Addendum: Star Trek 11 (2009) — Now that I’ve seen the latest entry it can be properly ranked among the others.  Easy call. Thanks to a solidly entertaining first hour but a choppy, emotionally disconnected second, the latest incarnation ranks as 7th best, just below “The Search for Spock” but well ahead of “The Motion Picture.”

Other than 10, 9, and 8, which really are difficult to sit through, the remaining 7 are on fairly regular rotation here in my little East L.A. abode. Revisiting the Trek world and spending time with old friends from the original crew is a cinematic pleasure The Hot Little Number I Used to Call Mrs. Harry and I look forward to at least once a year.

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10. Star Trek: Nemesis (2002) – If you’re a fan of high-adventure mixed with compelling themes and interesting characters the final chapter of the Next Generation (TNG) crew is your nemesis. The story itself isn’t as bad as you might think, it’s mediocre to be sure, but the real problem is that this cast is much too bland to elevate blah material. There was never much spark between TNG crew and even less natural warmth. They tried valiantly (and frequently the strain showed), but unlike the original gang, other than Picard, they always came off as chemistry-free television actors who had no business being on the big screen. This meant the material had to deliver the zing the actors couldn’t and the story and direction for “Nemesis” doesn’t come close. A dull villain and listless script can make for a forgettable one-hour television episode, but spread over 116-minutes, this outing should’ve been called “Star Trek: Interminable.”

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9. Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) – Easily the dumbest of the ten with our vanilla TNG crew turning against the Federation in a television-level production heavy on leftist allegory but way lite on compelling action. This might be a good time to stop and confess my white hot hatred for Data — as mawkish and simpering a character as has ever been conceived. He’d win a lame-off with Barney the Dinosaur, and his wide-eyed “escapades” are the worst part of every movie and TV episode his ingratiating presence poisons. Given the chance I would pay all kinds of money to “Office Space” his cloying little needy ass.

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8. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) – Until “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the George Lucas Sucks,” this was the biggest and most crushing cinematic disappointment of my life. Every day, before the echo of the final bell died, I’d burn out those front school doors, steal through seven backyards and ignore one of the “left-right-left’s” in order to be home in time for the original “Star Trek” (followed by “Wild Wild West” and “Mission Impossible”). Learning that my beloved characters would be given a cinematic resurrection was a nerdy dream come true, and I was there opening day ready to be swept away. The lights dimmed, that fantastic score rose, and … over the course of the next seven hours the life slowly drained from me. In recent years, there’s been an attempt to resurrect Robert Wise’s ode to glacier-paced pretension, but other than a few of the early character moments, the existential trip to V’ger is boring as hell. Still, boring with the original cast beats TV-lite with Data and company.

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7. Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) – The quality of the series takes a big leap here. This is a terrific chapter in a continuing saga that starts with “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan” and runs through “Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country.” The five films fit effortlessly together and make for a space opera miniseries engrossing through every one of its ten hours. Some weak special effects on the crumbling Genesis planet and an uninteresting villain really hurt this chapter in spots, but the character moments are some of the richest in the series. The bond between Kirk, Spock and McCoy develops into something that will help to carry the rest of the films, and of course the murder of Kirk’s son will be a big part of what drives Shatner’s iconic Captain right up until his death in “Generations.”

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6. Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) – The most frequently derided of the ten, but nowhere near as bad as reputed. William Shatner’s feature directing debut certainly has its share of rough spots, but his focus on the continuing relationship between the characters and the development of who and why they are who they are eventually morphs a misstep into a very good entry. Scotty hitting his head and getting knocked out, Uhura’s odd feather dance, and a truly terrible scene between the three main players after they’re locked up together by Spock’s messianic brother Sybok (who’s hijacked the Enterprise to search for God), would be enough to kill off most films, but after the three escape the narrative immediately sharpens and comes together and the story of these three friends is all the more richer for it.

Tomorrow, the best of the remaining five.

UPDATE: You can read part two here.

This is one of my favorite genres, especially when it comes to the smaller, lesser known – or better yet – less respected members of this family. Sure, there’s “Star Trek II,” “Once Upon a Time in the West,” “The Sting,” “Man on Fire,” and both “Kill Bill” films – love ‘em all, and so do you, but here are five you may have missed that are even more satisfying than their better known cousins.

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1. Death Wish II (1982) – Michael Winner’s first “Death Wish” (1974) is often mistaken as a revenge film when it’s really a vigilante film. For we purists that distinction matters. The original may show up on all kinds of Top 10 Revenge Film lists but at no time does Bronson’s Paul Kersey look for the thugs who murdered his wife and raped his daughter. What he does do is take it to the streets as an avenging angel to overcome his own sense of helplessness. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great because punks get blown away and liberal critics howl, but a revenger it is not.

Winner’s follow-up, however, is an epic of revenge, one of the most exploitive, manipulative and satisfying movies ever made. Bronson was 60 at the time and at the height of human achievement in pure badassery. Watching The Mighty One, dressed in black from top to bottom, stalk the seedy streets of Los Angeles hunting the punks who raped and murdered his daughter as Jimmy Page’s howling score skews the tone into something surreal is as good as it gets.

The cherry on top? Well, that would be the subtextual viewing pleasure of knowing how much critics hate it.

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2. Act of Violence (1948) – In “The Searchers,” John Wayne’s Ethan Edwards describes his own determination with this famous quote:

Seems like he never learns there’s such a thing as a critter that’ll just keep comin’ on. So we’ll find ‘em in the end, I promise you. We’ll find ‘em. Just as sure as the turnin’ of the earth.

Post-war Los Angeles — when California was still known as “Sunny California,” — and war hero Van Heflin’s done quite well for himself: Nice home, thriving business, cute little son, and best of all, his wife looks exactly like Janet Leigh. Unfortunately, there’s this…

Scrape … scrape … scrape … scrape…

That sound has relentlessly haunted Heflin over an ocean and across America, and now it’s knocking on the front door in the form of Robert Ryan who will have his revenge on Heflin … just as sure as the turnin’ of the earth.

Fred Zinneman directs this splendidly shot, tightly plotted piece of noir that’s deserving of a revival and finally available on DVD. I won’t spoil a drop of story, but the performances are as good as it gets, especially Oscar-winner Mary Astor in a late-career supporting role, and the wrap-up is hugely satisfying on every level. Well worth a Netflix, to say the least.

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3. Coffy (1973) – A masterpiece of blaxploitation thanks to Pam Grier’s ridiculously sexy and determined presence as a nurse out to get The Man who fed her sister contaminated heroin. Every scene reaches for “cool” and delivers. Sure, the acting’s stiff and the action’s over-rehearsed, but with dialogue like this…

Vitroni: Crawl, ni**er!
Coffy: [pulls gun] You want me to crawl, white motherf**ker?
Vitroni: What’re you doing? Put that down.
Coffy: You want to spit on me and make me crawl? I’m gonna piss on your grave tomorrow.

… if you catch me on the right day I’ll tell you “Coffy” is the greatest movie ever made. There’s just something distinctive and sublime about a genre film that aims for a target and hits the bullseye.

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4. Chato’s Land (1972) – Two years before kicking off the “Death Wish” franchise, director Michael Winner and Charles Bronson teamed up for the first time to give the revenge genre a test-drive with this  satisfying and violent Western about a half-breed Apache (Bronson) hunted by a posse after he kills a sheriff in self-defense.

You don’t need me to tell you that some tables find themselves turned and thanks to a splendid supporting cast consisting of Jack Palance, James Whitmore, Ralph Waite, Richard Jordan and  Victor French, there is all kinds of pleasure to be had in that table turn as the posse degenerates into lawlessness and in-fighting.

Imposing over every frame is the stoic and fearsome Bronson whose transformation from a quiet, peaceable man wanting to get home to his family, into a relentless revenging angel with a righteous cause is something few actors could pull off believably.

Acting’s in the eyes, not the affectations … and Bronson made you believe.

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5. Hannie Caulder (1971) – Raquel Welch starred in three outstanding Westerns between 1968 and 1971 — this, “Bandolero!” (1968) and “100 Rifles” (1969). Beyond her stunning physical appearance, Welch is progressively better in each of them and with “Hannie Caulder” impressively carries the film mostly on her own. There to help her is Robert Culp (one of my favorite unheralded actors in one of his best film roles) as a slightly offbeat bounty hunter, but Raquel adds some real brawn to her beauty as a woman determined to learn the way of the gun in order to have her revenge on the three men who raped her and killed her husband.

Burt Kennedy directs and adapted the screenplay, so it’s sure to be a lean, satisfying 85 minutes. Ernest Borgnine, Strother Martin, Jack Elam and Christopher Lee fill out an excellent supporting cast and a surprisingly (for director Kennedy, anyway) odd sense of humor pervades everything.

An unconventional  film, but more than worthy.