So the perfect narrative for any movie is “David vs. Goliath.”

The whistleblower vs. the evil corporation. the tough reporter vs the corrupt politician.

the half-naked talk show host vs. a team of rambunctious houseboys.

But for the narrative to be accepted, David must be a lib, and Goliath an evil Republican.

So when these roles are reversed, in real life, it confuses the crap out of the mainstream media.

Andrew Breitbart was accused of trying to destroy a Congressman, of fabricating a scandal, of hacking social networks.

These accusations were pushed by the left, and a carnal Congressman.

So when Breitbart took the stage at Anthony Weiner’s presser, it may have been one of the greatest, “speaking truth to power” moments ever: Breitbart vindicated himself, and Weiner imploded.

As I tweeted earlier, if Breitbart were a leftist, Sean Penn would die to play him. But since he’s not: I guess it’s Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Because this battle doesn’t fit one’s assumptions, just ignore it, or mock it.

And, as Jon Stewart says about Weiner, ‘We sometimes forget these people are human’.

Remember him saying that about Palin, Cheney and Bush?

No?

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Today, you can’t swing a dead cat at the movie theater without hitting another big budget adaptation of a comic book property.  I remember when I was a kid, I’d lurk around the local comic book shop and devouring any Spider-Man comics I could find, but the idea of a Spidey movie, or any superhero movie for that matter, seemed like a pipe dream.  Sure we got those Batman movies, but seeing Batman & Robin was like watching Hollywood take advantage a family member while wearing a diaper and an ape mask.

Now, comic book movies are everywhere.  Twelve-year-old Hunter would probably be in hog heaven, but to my adult eyes, the market feels bloated and overstuffed.  But for a market to get that way, you have to have had your share of good movies, and Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man, Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins, and Bryan Singer’s X-Men helped remind Hollywood that people love them some superheroes.

Ultimately what superhero movies do, specifically the first entry in the series, is build a mythological foundation.  The blueprint for the proper way to go about it is Richard Donner’s Superman: The Movie, which is included in the big new Superman box set coming to Blu-ray this week.  The original concept for Superman was to make a campy exercise a la the Batman TV show with Adam West.  There was even a scene in the original script involving Superman meeting Telly Savalas of Vegas fame, in which Supes yells “Who loves ya, baby?!”

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Tonight, for the whole hour…

Andrew Breitbart

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[Ed. Note: This is a Friday Gregalogue]

Yeah, seems old, just three days ago….

So buried in a recent Politico article, is this tidbit about Congressman Weiner.

“Two people who spoke to him privately said he had suggested that, as one said, “he took or sent a photo or photos like this
at some point – but in this case actually was hacked/set up, perhaps with a posting of one of his own photos or something very similar.”

Okay, that’s an admission.

And it’s coming from someone who spoke to Weiner, meaning Weiner wanted it out there – a trial balloon to end the junk about his junk.

It may be too late.

But Weiner can look on the bright side.

With so many recent scandals, he must ask himself, was his boner that bad?

Lets play a game I like to call “who would you rather be?”

A: a married Republican congressman caught posting swinger ads on Craigs List?

B: a married Republican congressman caught tapping his feet in an airport men’s room?

C: a married Republican Governor mired in extramarital affairs, one that results in a secret love child?

D: a Democratic Governor busted with hookers, who now has a show on CNN

E. a Democratic Presidential candidate, who cheated on his dying wife, and tried to cover it up?

F: a sleazy French socialist with a penchant for assaulting the help?

G: a sleazy French politician who frequents Moroccan boy orgies?

Or… A guy with a picture of his junk on his phone?

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On Tuesday, Congressman Weiner suffered a meltdown to end all meltdowns. To recap: it happened after a lewd photo of a dude’s crotch was sent to a Seattle co-ed from Weiner’s Twitter account. Weiner claims he was hacked. But instead of contacting authorities, he lawyered up.

When reporters asked if he sent the photo, he lost it.

So the question is, why?

Well, he assumed the press would let the scandal blow over – a consequence of inhabiting a protective bubble the press affords liberal politicians.

The problem with that bubble – it can burst when the press sees a story too good to ignore.

Sadly, the Congressman can’t see out of the bubble, and see what’s coming. Spitzer could have warned him.

Hence, the mortifying performance. Weiner looked like a deer in the headlights, trying to joke with the headlights.

The panicky bob of his Adam’s apple seemed to be sending Morse code to his friends in the media: “Why! Why! why! I’m one of you!”

It all screams “guilty!” – a whiny tantrum directed not at a hacker – but the media, his allies.

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So New York Congressman Anthony Weiner has had a bad week.

And it’s only Tuesday.

For those of you who have a real life, here’s some back-up:

A lewd photo of a pair of bulging underpants was sent to a Seattle co-ed from Weiner’s Twitter account. The woman, who Weiner follows on Twitter, had once referred to him as her “boyfriend. The pic appeared
after Weiner had tweeted when a TV appearance would air in Seattle.

Now Weiner claims he was hacked.

And, as a congressman – and son of a lawyer – he knows this crime calls for an FBI investigation.

But oddly – Weiner has hired a lawyer.

For himself.

So when a congressman hires private counsel instead of going to the cops – what does that say?

That it’s “time to move on,” says Weiner.

Now, when someone says “it’s time to move on,” it’s not a statement, but a plea.

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So let me tell you about Storm, a baby. It seems when Storm was born, his (or her) parents sent out an email. It read:

“We’ve decided not to share Storm’s sex for now – a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm’s lifetime (a more progressive place? …).”

Yes, they want to raise a genderless child. No boy toys. No dolls! No surprise.

Kathy Witterick is Storm’s mom – who I’ll call Goofball, since Kathy is so gender specific. Goofball practices “unschooling,” which says a child’s curiosity trumps the learning process.

Forget report cards, tests or books – junior’s intuition should lead to the best decisions.

It did for me: I ate a lot of paste.

And then there’s Goofballs’s hubby, David – who I will call Doreen, because David is so patriarchal.

Doreen teaches at a school that deals with class, race and gender.

Yeah, that’ll get your kid a job!

Talk about a self-perpetuating machine of stupidity. Who needs the three R’s when you only need one, and it’s rage?

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On today’s “Red Eye Podcast,” Bill is out covering the New York smoking ban, Andy discusses a strange article about potential presidential candidate Thaddeus McCotter and “Red Eye,” and find out why bulls have never had it easier.  Also, an analysis of the recently canceled “United States of Tara.”

Tonight on “Red Eye”!

Chris Barron

Tucker Carlson

Mahsa Saeidi-Azcuy!

So Cornel West recently called President Obama “a black mascot of Wall Street oligarchs and a black puppet of corporate plutocrats.”

Translation: someone discovered a Thesaurus!

But there’s more: in an interview on some wacky website, he spews…

“I think my dear brother Barack Obama has a certain fear of free black men… It’s understandable… All he has known culturally is white… When he meets an independent black brother, it is frightening.”

Now in all the coverage of this, the authors painstakingly point out that West is both a Princeton and a Harvard professor, and a leading black intellectual.

They do this because they are scared witless of pointing out the obvious: that West is an ass.

But he’s also a hero, in that he unintentionally brought race-baiting to an absolute absurdity – a black progressive accusing another black progressive… of racism against black progressives!

Now for black conservatives, this kind of defamation is nothing new. (more…)

So David Evans is a scientist who worked for the Australian Greenhouse Office, as one of the country’s leading climate change experts.

But once a global warming alarmist, he’s now a skeptic.

He now believes that “The debate about global warming…is full of micro-thin half-truths and misunderstandings.”

And he blames it all on greed, vanity and careerism.

Because, he says, “the gravy train was too big, with too many jobs, industries, trading profits, political careers, and the possibility of world government and total control riding on the outcome.”

So rather than admit exaggeration, the alarmists chose the path to hysteria.

This reveals a truth I’ve tried to explain to my global warming pals. That the only experts you can trust are the ones who keep their traps shut.

As a health journalist – I learned that the good doctors were the quiet ones. And those guys always viewed the blabbermouths as opportunists who sacrificed science in favor of ego and influence.

And this is why two decent people can read the same article, and reach two different conclusions.

For a person unfamiliar with the professional and personal motives behind the science, you will buy into the dire predictions.

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So IMF chief Dominique Strauss-kahn was yanked off a flight at JFK, trying to flee to France after assaulting a maid.

According to the police report, a naked D-S-k pulled the woman into a bedroom, and sexually assaulted her. She fought, but he dragged her into the bathroom, where he forced her to perform oral sex. She escaped, told the hotel staff, who called police.

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Now in just about every article, three facts pop up.

One, that Strauss-Khan is known in France, as “the great seducer,” which means they must set the bar pretty low.

Using their standards, Ted Bundy’s a Casanova.

And then there’s the constant reminder of the French, jaded view toward a leader’s sexual appetites – a progressive, permissive attitude that lets them mock those repressed yanks.

Yep – the French are so evolved, that maybe this is no big deal.

She’s just a maid. She’s probably lying. It’s a trap.

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So some southern Arizona lefties have launched a petition to split the state – creating a new liberal paradise, called Baja Arizona.

Now this is not a new idea, but it’s still a great one -if not for a state, perhaps for a game show. Pit two groups of people, with opposing views, against each other, and see who wins.

Arizona is perfect, in that it contains the most liberal and conservative folks in the Union. You can spot the libs by the turquoise, and the righties by their guns.

In Arizona, even their guns have guns.

And those guns? They carry tiny knives! (made of guns)

And these groups hate each other. The left calls the right bigots, and the right sees the left as patchouli-drenched socialists, which of course, they are.

I kid: patchouli is so over.

But a contest between ideologies seems ripe.

True, it’s been done (see communism vs. capitalism, East vs West Germany, Rocky vs. Drago, and – of course – Quisp vs. Quake). but why not try it here – without government intrusion?

This way, we can see whose ideas work, while keeping folks who hate those ideas, from benefiting from them.

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So a lot of people deserve credit for killing bin Laden: President Obama, the Navy SEALS and our military in general, intelligence gatherers, the previous administration, and many other people.

But you also gotta give credit to Debra Burlingame, sister of one of the victims of 9/11, who used her chance to meet President Obama yesterday to gently prod him over the indictments of CIA interrogators.

Remember, CIA Director Leon Panetta admits that the initial info that led to finding bin Laden came, in part, from “enhanced interrogation techniques” used on detainees.

So why then, the prosecution? Well, Debra noted the irony, and asked the Prez to press Erik Holder to end them.

Obama said he wouldn’t.

Which is poop.

To me, prosecuting CIA agents after bin Laden’s death is like the Packers trading Aaron Rodgers to the Panthers after winning the Superbowl.

That’s not exactly like going to prison, but it is the Panthers.

(And yes, I made a sports metaphor. I do know my baseball)

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 So, if there’s one thing you learn when you interview students over the death of Osama bin Laden… it’s not to interview students over the death of Osama bin Laden.

Still, a NY1 reporter went to a Brooklyn school, and found out that students were “not worked up” over binny’s death – but more interested in “weekend gossip.” Apparently, bin Laden doesn’t mean too much to teens, for they were too young to absorb “the impact of his terror.”

Meanwhile, Yahoo says that 66 percent of those searching for “who is Osama bin Laden” were ages 13 to 17.

I guess that beats “what was 9/11?”

Which brings me to some recent tweets, from various teens.

Groydis writes: “Who is Osama bin Laden, and why should i care?”

Asteriot adds, “Who is Osama bin laden? is he famous? am i the only one who don’t know who he is?”

Apparently not you idiot – since Corey-ealtman ponders, “who is osama and why is it important we killed him?”

God help us all.

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