Top 5: The Worst Environmentalist Movies Of All Time
by Ben ShapiroIt is difficult to overstate just how bad the upcoming movie with Brendan Fraser, Furry Vengeance is going to be if the trailer is any indication.
“Welcome to Rocky Springs,” says the narrator, “home to the greenest community ever built.” Brendan Fraser plays a construction expert who is attacked by animals bent on keeping their pristine nature home free of the grubby man-hands of the developers. Fraser’s son sums up the movie: “Dad, you’re building on a nature preserve, and nature’s ticked off … I think the animals are out for revenge.”
If this sounds like your type of movie, you are either a relative of the writer or Van Jones.
Which got me to thinking – what are the five worst environmentalist movies of all time? I’ll exclude documentaries here, since An Inconvenient Truth is perhaps the worst thing ever put on film; it’s as though Satan had explosive diarrhea on camera, and then the diarrhea talked at you for two hours (and don’t get me started on Winged Migration, which was literally pictures of birds, and which moved so slowly that time actually began moving backwards – the movie was released in 2001 and after watching it, you found yourself back in 1955).
So let’s stick to dramas and comedies. Not all environmentalist movies are bad (see Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, the overrated-but-still decent The China Syndrome and Logan’s Run, the artistic-if-infuriating Wall-E or the vastly underrated Soylent Green, with the ever incredible Edward G. Robinson). But there are plenty that are. I’ve tried to avoid the most obvious picks (On Deadly Ground, anyone?). Here are my top five:
5. Over the Hedge: Think an animated film about animals fighting against the evils of urban sprawl. Ken Fox of TVGuide.com said this film was “a sly satire of American ‘enough is never enough’ consumerism and blind progress at the expense of the environment.” Sounds like a pleasure cruise! The humans, of course, are the bad guys. Even the house pets long to be free (Tiger, a Persian cat, joins the forest friends at the end of the movie). Throw in a few zingers about the evils of Texas, and you’ve got a movie to make the environmental left grin in pleasure. The cast is huge: Bruce Willis, Garry Shandling, Steve Carrell, Wanda Sykes, William Shatner, Avril Lavigne, Nick Nolte, Eugene Levy. Too bad the movie is trite and silly (and no, it’s not okay to be trite and silly just because you’re animated – that’s why the folks at Pixar are so rightly heralded in the industry).
—–
4. The Happening: I’m not sure just what happened to M. Night Shyamalan that turned him into a dud. I liked The Sixth Sense; I liked Unbreakable; I’m even one of the few who liked The Village. Then he did Lady in the Water, and followed up that horrible piece of garbage (I mean, really, one of the worst movies of all time) with The Happening. The premise of the movie is simple: thousands of people suddenly begin committing suicide. Why? You guessed it: the environment is taking its revenge on humanity. The trees are releasing a neurotoxin that causes people to kill themselves, because people have become too much of a threat. Unfortunately, the movie did not feature Al Gore smiling and clapping idiotically in the streets as the humans died off, leaving nature’s beauty intact. Watching this crap from the audience, you’re left hoping the neurotoxin will hit the theater.
—–
3. The Thaw: Val Kilmer is a good actor. I loved him in Tombstone, I liked him in Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang. Batman Forever, not so much. But in the last few years, he’s gone totally off his rocker, making film after film about the threat of global warming. In 2009, he starred in The Thaw, where he played a scientist who discovered that thaw caused by global warming had released a parasite from a defrosting woolly mammoth. Seriously – a thawed woolly mammoth threatens civilization. And here, I only thought they make nice throw rugs. Then, the same year, he starred in The Chaos Experiment, a horror movie in which he played a deranged man making predictions about the imminent destruction of civilization due to global warming. To prove his point about global warming, he locks six people in a steam room to show that they will tear each other apart – which they do. The left loves to accuse the right of oversimplifying “climate change,” but movies like this make it hard to argue that the left doesn’t do the same thing as a scare tactic.
—–
2. The Day After Tomorrow: Big special effects? Random waves that swamp cities? Laughable dialogue? You can bet it’s a Roland Emmerich movie. The funniest part about this movie is the suddenness with which global warming takes effect. Even anthropogenic global warming supporters say that the sea levels will rise by inches over the next century. But that wouldn’t make a good movie – watching Dennis Quaid attempting to jump puddles isn’t exciting. Emmerich has hundred-foot tsunamis hitting New York City, then -150 degree hurricanes washing over the city and engulfing it in ice. I like disaster movies as much as the next guy, but if we’re going to have ridiculous disasters of this magnitude, what’s wrong with blaming the aliens a la Independence Day?
—–
1. Ferngully: The Last Rainforest: Yes, it’s Avatar in 2D. This movie was so bad that even as a child (I was I knew it sucked (and yes, I also opposed Oslo at the time). Not just awful – holy crap awful. It is amazing that this piece of trash garnered so many big names: Tim Curry, Robin Williams, and Christian Slater all show up. Read the plot summary at Wikipedia and marvel that the human mind is capable of such monstrosities. It would almost be worth destroying the environment completely and ending human life on earth if the makers of Ferngully reunited for a third movie (it almost destroyed the universe when they got together for the sequel, Ferngully 2: The Magical Rescue).
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Got a Tip?
262 Comments
on my list is The Core.
They need a subway train made of unobtanium to drive around the liquid hat magma center of the earth strategically placing nuclear bombs to get the core spinning again.
oh man it is bad
My mind went numb simply reading about those films. I *knew* there was a reason "Over the Hedge" seemed like total jackassary.
Hello? What about The Arrival about aliens terra-forming the earth via global warming. Alien: "We're just speeding up what you are doing anyways."
I like adding -ary to phrases. And since I am also trying to clean up my language, and raising a yound child i have started to use "tubesock" as a cuss that isnt. So in this case the tubesockary of these films causes me not to watch very many.
the anthesis of tubesock is airwolf
as in Dude, your powerpoint presentation was totally airwolf.
(feel free to look up Ernie Cline Airwolf as an adjective for clarification)
So scorched earth policy is ok with you guys yes?
I'd put "Happy Feet" on that list too. 'Oh no. We're killing the penguins by eating all their fish!'
… and only the U.N. can save them?
Captain Nemo must have gained a following for the enemy is now man, the only logical conclusion is that destroying a majority of humans is the only solution, too bad they believe it is everybody but them.
Yup
I am with you on M.Night for sure and am proud to say I didn't see any of these bombs.
And why the hell is The Day The Earth Stood Still not on this list? I would be able to replace Over the Hedge or Day After Tomorrow with that crap! The latter movies were a bit entertaining to me, but then again I am very easily entertained. LOL
Right… because that's *exactly* what we're saying.
Is that seat comfortable? Maybe you should see a chiropractor.
Sure. You bring the marshmallows.
The original is good… but I was compelled to rush out and miss the remake.
How could you leave out the rape that was the 2008 remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still"? The original was one of my all-time favorites. The only argument I can posit against anti-war themes is that the onus belongs on the aggressors, not the defenders–a point that has been lost on the anti-war movement since the dawn of time. But anti-war is a perfectly fine leftist Hollywood theme, and it's timeless at that. Why did they have to make it about what is ostensibly an eco-fad? It reminds me of how Counting Crows tweaked Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi" to make the lyrics more liberal. Because Joni Mitchell wasn't liberal enough?
Yes, I'm replying to myself. But I just realized I had a great blog idea: worst environmentalist songs! Mr. Shapiro can run with it if he likes. I'll never get to it.
I liked "The Happening" (possibly because of Zooey Deschanel's presence alone), but that's probably because I didn't see it as an environmentalist's propaganda film. I saw it as the environment being plain old evil…like your common werewolves, vampires, and unicorns. Of course, I haven't seen it in a while. Perhaps I don't remember it that well.
I've done the math. I had to use a calculator, but I have determined that if all the true believers–humans are destroying the planet with their use of fossil fuels and wasteful lifestyles–were to make the ultimate sacrifice, the problem would be solved.
To be fair I was warned, but couldn't resist putting it in Blockbuster Queue. So sad when a movie ends and you just look at the other person on the couch and say, "What the hell was that?"
No Avatar?
I challenge someone to name any good movie with Brendan Frasier in it. The one where he comes out of the bomb shelter after decades was ok, but thats mainly because of Alicia Silverstone's hotness. Frasier has the same affliction as the Wayans, excluding Damon. Any movie with Frasier or a Wayans (excluding Damon) is a bad movie, if for no other reason than their involvement.
Hey, don't forget Silent Running.
Ahh, the weepy, navel gazing 70's.
I liked the first "Mummy" film and "Gods and Monsters" was pretty good, too.
Aw, I thought the first Mummy was pretty good (mostly because Rachel Weisz was hawt….)
Just a couple of observations…
Bruce Willias should go back to making porn (e.g., Color of Night)
The Happening should be more aptly titled: The Breaking Wind
I'm suprised nobody mentioned Ray Milland in Frogs! Watched it at the drive-in, I was so moved by this film I kept spilling my beer while laughing! Nothing like seeing some get done in by killer snapping turtles.
"After the Gold Rush" as sung by Neil Young?
I enjoyed "Silent Running". Sure, the movie is a bit heavy handed and the Joan Baez music is just ghastly. Nevertheless, I thought Bruce Dern was terrific in it and I Iiked the robots helping him. The movie's final scene is rather poignant.
YouTube video: environmentalists bemoan trees destroyed by massive health care bill: http://www.youtube.com/user/Optoons#p/u/26/gg5bDr...
Brendan Fraser's past success came from his charming goofiness and his oafish handsomeness. He was the corny but lovable hero.
In this movie, he seems merely goofy, oafish, and corny.
Anybody care to comment on "Silent Running?" I'm not sure it qualifies as one of the worst – I loved the special effects, the drones, etc. However, its moral orientation was exactly the same as Avatar's. And Joan Baez singing "Rejoice in the Sun" didn't help, either.
Wow. Just. Wow.
Yeah, but I thought The Arrival was at least a good popcorn flick.
Oh wow. I really really liked Silent Running. When I was 12.
I feel that way every time Obama speaks.
Bless the beasts and the children
For in this world they have no voice
They have no choice
Bless the beasts and the children
For the world can never be
The world they see
Light their way
When the darkness surrounds them
Give them love
Let it shine all around them
Bless the beasts and the children
Give them shelter from a storm
Keep them safe
Keep them warm
Light their way
When the darkness surrounds them
Give them love
Let it shine all around them
Bless the beasts and the children
Give them shelter from a storm
Keep them safe
Keep them warm
The children
The children
Don't get me started on how Robert Heinlein's 'Red Planet' juvenile about the right to bare arms and fighting distant and uncaring colonial landlords was eco-raped into an animated environmentalist screed back in 1994.
Yes, that's why we're hunting you down right now so we can scorch your earth. To the torches people!
Seriously, read the instructions on the medication bottle very carefully before posting.
I could list a lot of Brendan Frasier movies I like, but I suspect you wouldn't like them (since not all of them included hot chicks). He makes cute kids' movies and cute romantic comedies. But the main reason you wouldn't like them is because you obviously lack the proper hormones to appreciate his movies. Maybe not the best actor in the world, but he's cute in a loin cloth.
I could list the Brendan Frasier movies I like but I suspect you wouldn't like them. He has made some funny and silly kids' movies and few romantic comedies (i.e. chick flicks) I liked. But the main reason you wouldn't like them is because you obviously lack the proper hormones to appreciate his movies. He may not be the world's best actor, but he's cute in a loin cloth.
I liked Brendan Frasier in the two Mummy movies i saw (I didn't see the last one), _George of the Jungle_, and the recent re-make of _Journey to the Center of the Earth_. Honestly, _Furry Vengeance_ looks funny, and I'll probably watch it when it comes out on DVD (can't afford to watch it in the theater). I don't see what's so outrageous about the idea of nature punishing those who want to destroy natural beauty to make room for another shopping mall (a wasteland with walls). Real animals, of course, aren't as smart as the ones in this movie. If they were, it wouldn't be a comedy but a documentary. Lighten up, folks.
See "nolotrippen"'s comment below.
I also liked this movie when I saw it, I think I was also around 12. But then I grew up.
I do agree the final scene is poignant but after the credit roll and you stop and think about it….
I could list the Brendan Frasier movies I like but I suspect you wouldn't like them. He has made some funny and silly kids' movies and few romantic comedies (i.e. chick flicks) I liked. But the main reason you wouldn't like them is because you obviously lack the proper hormones to appreciate his movies. He may not be the world's best actor, but he's cute in a loin cloth.
Having said that, I will skip this latest movie. If this is the best movie he can get, then he needs to fire his agent.
Ahh…the folk music. It makes me think they nuked the forest domes just to make that music stop.
I couldn't agree more with how bad "The Day After Tomorrow" was. I saw it when it finally got to cable because I wouldn't pay to see it. Instead of thinking "what's wrong with this movie?", I was thinking "what's right with this movie?"
And speaking of getting it all wrong, how about the Paul Ehrlich inspired "Soylent Green"?
I still think the basic idea behind The Happening was an interesting one worth exploring but the execution left much to be desired. And it would've been better off as a Twilight Zone episode or one of those cheesy SyFy original movies (coming soon… "Treekillers!").
The Arrival was entertaining (Ron Silver, anybody?) as were the good films Ben mentioned (Trek IV, The China Syndrome, etc.). My friends and I had the good sense to avoid The Day the Earth Stood Still remake. It just looked bad, period.
Brilliant, now to separate the wheat from the chaff and feed the flatulent cows for the wake.
Oh, yes!! I saw that on TV as a kid and was disturbed for days. I didn't care that Bruce Dern's character killed himself at the end. But why did they have to kill off one of the cute little robots and leave his robot buddy floating alone in space taking care of the only forrest left in the universe?! I hated that movie.
Well, if was directed by effects whiz Douglas Trumbull (2001, The Andromeda Strain, Close Encounters of the Third Kind) and the score was by Peter Schickele (better known as P.D.Q. Bach). So none too shabby in the tech departments.
Well, the movie was evil, because it was a piece of crap performed by actors who apparently were trying out for a high school drama production. One of my friends and I viewed it at the theater, and when it was over we went to the box office and said: "We just watched The Happening. TOTAL SUCKAGE! Even though we did watch the whole thing, would it still be possible for us to get a refund?" And they did. Because apparently, they knew the movie sucked ass too.
My personal favorite Brendan Fraser movie is "George of the Jungle"
I suspect that you haven't spent much time in the outdoors. Mother Nature doesn't give a rat's patootie about beauty (which is a human concept). She's a rapacious, bloodthirsty harridan. Living things in nature with kill without compassion, without remorse. Most often for survival, but sometimes just for fun. Watch a common domesticated housecat with a mouse. Kitteh is little more than a serial killer with fur.
That is totally "airwolf"! I love it!
On top of all the other stupidity of the "Furry Vengeance" movie (if I didn't see the trailer here I would swear it was a satire like "Animal Instinct" at the end of "Forgetting Sarah Marshall") is the built-in assumption that development is bad for wildlife.
Racoon, whitetail deer, coyote, skunk, cottontail rabbit, squirrels, chipmunks, songbirds, and many other sorts of wildlife actually thrive in urban areas. Parks, lawns, gardens, and hedges provide great habitat and food for the herbivores, who in turn provide great meals for the carnivores.
CONTINUED
CONTINUED FROM ABOVE
Racoon and squirrel are so well-suited to urban areas that they become serious pests who live in people's houses and garages. Coyote adapt quickly to human activity, and far from being threatened by urbanization they too become problems in areas like Los Angeles and Las Vegas, where coyotes feast on domestic cats and dogs. Garbage is a great source of food for skunk, possum, and other scavengers.
Add in the fact that hunting is banned in most urban areas, and cities are actually great wildlife refuges. Deer in many cities and towns actually become so numerous that starvation and disease are serious problems due to over-population.
While not a movie, let's not forget Ted Turner's indoctrination TV series, "Captain Planet" which probably did as much damage as any bigscreen movie. Not to mention PBS which itself is a really bad movie.
I still like The Mummy.
I don't know why, but anything to do with meteors seems to evoke bad cinema. Meteor, released in the mid 70's, had a killer cast, but the script was so nasty, even James Bond couldn't save it. Recently, another one was released. I can't even remember the name, but Morgan Freeman, Maximillian Schell and Tea Leone starred. Not so good. Meteors = bad. Contrarily, I'll vote for Mars Attacks. Anytime Slim Whitman is the global savior – that's aces in my book.
I can watch The Day After Tomorrow to see NY get destroyed … over and over and over. It's like I can watch the old disaster movie Earthquake to watch LA get destroyed … over and over and over. It's cathartic, like playing a video game.
No mention of Battle For Terra? That thing was Avatar in every sense of the word only animated.
http://www.ask.com/wiki/Battle_for_Terra
There are scores of movies from the 50s & 60s with warnings about environmental impacts especially from nuclear bombs/waste/experimentation – "Them!", "The Beginning of the End", "Godzilla",…etc. Picking out the worst of them would be difficult to do.
There are some fun "environmentalist" movies ones too – like "Eight Legged Freaks" and "Sheena".
No list of awful environmental movies can be complete without "The Last Winter", starring Ron Perlman.
I wasted an hour and a half of my life watching this turdfest on HBO one afternoon. The plot was as follows: Evil US Oil Company plans to drill in Pristine Arctic Wilderness, and the spirit of the Arctic, or the spirit of the oil, or the spirit of the animals whose remains make up the oil (who the vengeful spirits were wasn't clear to me) wreaks vengeance on the Evil American Capitalists.
The climax of this stinker involves demon reindeer spirits (seriously) devouring Perlman's Evil Oil Company Villain, in the most heavy-handed piece of Green propaganda imaginable.
As a bonus, the special effects in "The Last Winter" were awful.
That was "Deep Impact". So many good actors wasted in that sily movie. Only the special effects were good.
but it was much better than Armageddon
it is amazing to me that studios will release similar movies so close together
ther was an animated movie called the Ant Bully that had the same plot as well
Surely, "Fire Down Below" starring Steven Seagal as an ass-kicking EPA agent out to bust toxic waste dumpers ranks in the top ten.
Yes, I've always said that the only alternative to putting up with stupid movies about the environment is wiping out the entire ecosystem. There is no middle ground.
OMG, I *almost* added that to my first reply – but I wasn't sure it was really "environmental." Besides, the Carpenters did a version…and I have a thing for Karen Carpenter.
Still – sappy, maudlin, sickening rubbish – check.
Major airwolfary!
Hmmm… airwolfery? Yeah, and 'e' in that one might work best.
Sorry, somebody already DID comment on "Silent Running." Sorry, AreaMan66!
Thanks a lot. I had actually forgotten Captain Planet (with Whoopi Goldberg as the Earth Goddess!). That's a lousy thing to remind someone of.
If you haven't seen the original, and if you like older films, give it a shot. And "The Thing From Another World"… and the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers".
I think if you combined the two movies, it could make 1 really great movie.
You could be right. I guess plants could evolve a specific defense against human predation. But it would take at least thousands of years and it would probably be something like trees with harder bark or sap that smells like excrement and corrodes high speed steel. And not invisible gas that makes people kill themselves.
That's MNS for you, though. Never mind the stupid premise – it's all about the suspense.
"Mars Attacks" is simply one of the best retro sci-fi alien invasion / disaster films every made.
Such a cast… plus Tom Jones as "Tom Jones"!!!
True that, I do lack the proper hormones to enjoy kids movies and chick flicks.
I guess I'm just lucky enough to be able to set aside exterior motivations for a film and just watch. I liked Over the Hedge and watched it with my girls. To be honest, at the time, I never read any kind of environmental message into it. Oh well. Didn't care for The Happening. Once again, not for any environmental or political reason, I just thought the acting was beyond terrible. Never saw The Thaw or Ferngully, but enjoyed Day After Tomorrow simply for it's adventure qualities. I love being able to watch a movie for the 2 hours of entertainment and not have to disect the greater meaning behind it, but that's just me…
Nastalgia Critic at thatguywiththeglasses.com has a hilarious review/thrashing of Ferngully. Check it out.
Yes, that is another good one – Encino Man. I'm on board that the first Mummy was good too. Ok, he has done a few moderately good movies, I'll stand corrected.
Even the great Karen C can drop a green bomb.
Did you see the original cartoons at all? I didn't like the movie because I was a fan of the cartoons. It violated sacred ground. Similar to Scooby Doo movie.
Check out SyFy Saturday nights with all those doomsday or creature-feature made-for-SyFy movies. There'll always be some enviro-crap statement in there somewhere.
The original is awesome, my favorite movie.
I have to disagree on Winged Migration. It is what it is: a documentary on birds. The cinematography is stunningly beautiful. For me, those spectacular images were reason enough to enjoy it. In fact, I watched it twice.
As for the list, it contains some choice horrors but it´s too short. There was a whole wave of "nature strikes back" movies back in the 1970s from the atrocious Frogs to The Prophecy. Those stinkers deserve a mention.
The Breaking Wind. That's cold. Hysterically funny, but cold.
Maybe they just plopped down on a sharp pine cone?
The Arrival was a great little B-movie (I mean that as praise). If I remember correctly, wasn´t the big revelation that global warming was manufactured by aliens? Perhaps it shouldn´t count as an enviro-movie at all.
I think it has to do with the relentless self righteous lecturing that comes from these kinds of movies. And since the majority seem to be targeting children, explaining how bad they are, it could be argued they are more propaganda than entertainment.
I've spent plenty of time outdoors. I come from a family of hunters, and I've always enjoyed camping. I never said I think nature is like a big teddy bear with a Mother Goose face. That's why they call it the "wilderness." What I object to is the idea that people should have some sort of blank check for wiping out hunks of that wilderness in the name of big business or another ugly wasteland dedicated to consumerism. I've never objected to people carving out some room for a place to live, and if I have to choose between saving a family of humans and saving a family of raccoons, I'll pick the humans every time.
And the movie still looks funny.
I know Silver has a line like, "If you can't take care of your planet, then none of you deserves to be here" or something like that.
BUT… I think you're right. The idea was that aliens were warming the planet in order to terraform it.
Silent Running…I saw this a couple of years ago and I remember Bruce Dern lying in his bed on the spaceship, contemplating the evils of Man. He gently reaches up to caress a framed copy of a "Conservation Pledge" that is hanging on the wall. If I remember correctly, thankfully something interrupted this bit of environmental foreplay.
Shouldn't Avatar be on this list? I mean seriously, humping tree roots will bring you back from the dead?!?
This list should probably have been a "Top 10" – there's too many to count.
Does the Toxic Avenger count?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090190/
Let's not forget Bruce Dern and the mini-bots in 'Silent Running.' Joan Baez sings the title track.
Does anyone else find the title of Furry Vengeance to be so deliciously wrong? Honestly, my husband and I saw this trailor and my first thoughts were, "Someone made a film based on angry furries? What?" Then, I watched the trailer and realized that I had gotten the wrong message from the title. I felt sort of let down by the trailer after that.
'Night of the Lepus'
Beware the bunnies.
I know Silver has a line like, "If you can't take care of your planet, then none of you deserves to be here" or something like that.
Yeah, but in the actual movie it came off more as an arrogant statement by the aliens than an arrogant statement by the screenwriters.
lol yeah! Captain Planet, what a crap
Racoon, whitetail deer, coyote, skunk, cottontail rabbit, squirrels, chipmunks, songbirds, and many other sorts of wildlife actually thrive in urban areas. Parks, lawns, gardens, and hedges provide great habitat and food for the herbivores, who in turn provide great meals for the carnivores.
I thought that was kind of the point of Over the Hedge. The raccoon character was essentially saying to everyone else, "Yeah, losing our previous habitat kind of sucks, but on the other hand we might actually be able to make this situation work for us."
What can you say about "The Day After Tomorrow" that was funnier than the evisceration it underwent by the creators of South Park? Especially on the mini-commentary track. They were laughing about how (and this actually does happen) at one point in the movie "global warming" was "literally chasing them down the hall."
the sinner,
Patrick
Ihave to admit to a secret fondness for Armageddon. It makes my "so bad, it's good" list. I mean how can you not like "space dementia"?
You must be logged in to post a comment.