Burt’s Eye View: Questions Even Glenn Beck Hasn’t Asked
by Burt PrelutskyI have a few questions on my mind and, judging by the questions asked by the likes of George Stephanopoulos, David Letterman and the mainstream media, if I don’t ask them, there’s a very good chance that nobody else will.
First off, I’d like to know why the 535 members of Congress have to congregate in Washington, D.C. As Dick Morris and Eileen McGann made perfectly clear in “Fleeced,” they don’t do very much in the nation’s capitol that they couldn’t do just as well or just as badly if they stayed home in their bathrobes. Half the time, the sessions are devoted to naming post offices and other equally earth-shattering events.
So far as I can tell, the actual motives are to allow senators and representatives to have fiefdoms both in Washington and in their own state or district; to make things more convenient for lobbyists – one-stop shopping, as it were; and to keep our representatives as far away as possible from their constituents.
I keep hearing commercials for teleconferencing systems and I think they’re worth a try. With my plan, there is even an advantage for the politicians because they wouldn’t have to waste time and money flying back and forth. What’s more, they wouldn’t have to spend all that extra dough sending their kids to private schools, thus ensuring that their offspring be spared having to attend public schools in Washington, D.C. You know, those schools that politicians are always raving about when they’re out seeking campaign contributions from the Teacher’s Union, the ones where liberal candidates pose for photo ops during presidential campaigns.
My second question is how it was that of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence, only 24 were lawyers or jurists, but of the current 100 senators, 60 are lawyers? While it’s true that there are slightly more than a million lawyers in America, that is less than one percent of the adult population. So how is it that 60% of the U.S. Senate and slightly over 30% of the House members, in addition to their party affiliation, are entitled to put Esq. after their name?
I believe the problem is two-fold. One, it’s just too easy and too much fun being a politician; two, it’s just too hard and not enough fun being a lawyer. If people enjoyed being lawyers more, they wouldn’t be so darn eager to run off to Albany, Sacramento, Springfield, Atlanta or Washington, D.C. Frankly, I don’t know how to make the practice of law a more exciting career. So, instead, I think it behooves us to come up with ways to make politics a less attractive option. The one notion that popped into my head was to take a leaf out of the Aztec playbook and initiate human sacrifices. Would any of us really have strong objections to Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Barbara Boxer, Arlen Spector, Susan Collins, Henry Waxman, Charles Schumer, Olympia Snowe, Chris Dodd and Barney Frank, being offered up to pacify the angry spirits of the Founding Fathers?
My final question is, why, in 2009 America, are mulattoes invariably identified as blacks? Surely there is nothing wrong with being a mulatto. There is no stigma attached, as once there was. It merely refers to those who have one white parent and one black. There are many notable individuals who are mulattoes, including Halle Berry, Derek Jeter, Lisa Bonet and Barack Obama. Tiger Woods, on the other hand, is a true amalgamation, being one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter Thai, one-quarter black, one-eighth Native American and one-eighth Dutch. And, yet, with the possible exception of the New York Yankee shortstop, we insist on identifying all of them as black.
It’s as if there is something shameful about their being half or even one-eighth white. If there is, I’d sure like to know what it is. If, on the other hand, there isn’t, why do we insist on acting as if there were?
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34 Comments
Damn straight, send them all home
Burt this is a great idea but there is just one flaw.
You know darn well that congres will find some way for "Go to Meeting" to cost $500K per person per year.
It's what they do best.
I have been asking myself that final question for years.
Unfortunately one of the reasons that those of mixed heritage claim themselves as black has to do with out of date and definitely racist thinking of the past that said if you had one drop of black blood in your past you were black. They actually used the hatefull "N" word rather than black. I give those that chose to self identify as Black a pass on that one.
You do have something regarding doing most of the work by teleconfrence though. If we could get the politicians out of Washington I see no harm and only possible benifits for us all.
Hey I love being a halfy, and I make no bones about it. Everyone who finds out my last name comments, "You don't look Chinese" at which point I always get to point out that I'm a halfy. The only people who have ever looked at me odd after hearing that are "pure" Chinese folks. :\\
So yeah, nothing wrong being mixed, but you've gotta admit it's easier to say "Black" than "Mulatto."
As for Teleconferencing heck yeah! There's some real saving there and a better chance to keep people near the people they supposedly represent!
If I have to vote electronically with no paper trail, why can not they?
Our politicians especially Senators, remind me of those dark characters from Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. The Ring-wraiths. Men who were once Kings ,Princes, Great Warriors that were seduced and succumbed to the Ring of Power. They're not living nor dead but somewhere in between. They now only exist to serve The Ring and do whatever must be done to possess it or be near it. For my money Congress needs a good flushing and the sooner the better.
Funny column Burt, the best way to answer your question about why they need to be in D.C. is simple. For the same reason teenagers want to go away to college. Their parents can't check up on them there. As for your sacrificing members of Congress to the Gods, I think it is necessary for the sacrificial lamb to be of a pure soul. The people you mentioned don't even have souls.
$500K for go to meeting!
too true…
Congressional sacrifice is an interesting, if not unique idea. They did it in old Rome. But the positions have an inherent flaw – too much wealth, influence & power. Consequently, the next crop of pols may be as bad, or worse! But keep thinking Burt, there has got to be a solution to this thing. Maybe, if we can strike a deal with the pod people?
The idea of sacrificing politicians to the gods definitely has merit. If you listen to most of them, they are making a great sacrifice leaving the private sector to "serve" the public as an elected representative. Perhaps that sacrifice should be a real sacrifice. It beats the hell out of term limits.
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Burt, I once asked a black friend of mine the same question. His answer?
"Lance, do you ever drink chocolate milk?"
"Yeah, Fonz, sometimes"
"Well, put one drop of chocolate in your milk sometime. No matter how weak it is, it's still chocolate milk."
Same with piss.
Witty as usual. Screw Townhall for dumping you.
I have a question I would like to ask…..
Why does the Administration say that the AMA and all Doctors support Health care bill when only 17% of the nations Physicians belong to the AMA?
Makes me say hhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm
Want to know how to make politics less interesting to them? At least how to make congressional positions less desirable? Term limits. Perhaps if we could, like they, slip it in as an amendment to a spending bill that has their pay increases in it? Or perhaps we could do like Hillary Clinton and marry term limits to something noble like mandatory enrollment into a government dental plan for children. because there are literally millions of children whose teeth are falling out on a daily basis. It's for the children! Of course we needn't mention that this happens naturally. Oh no. Heck we can even put RFID chips in their fillings, crowns, caps and veneers.
Sacrifice? How about this? All we need to do is increase the heat in the White House and stand back and watch them melt. There is enough plastic in those faces, they would all just melt down to a puddle of plastic. Especially Joe and Nancy. I can just see it now. They could make a movie out of it. "The Big Meltdown" ….
Sorry, I just thoroughly enjoyed that thought way to much for a Christian.
Thinking on this I am reminded of the phrase "some heads are gonna roll". As it was in the past, the same holds true today. This act in particular would undoubtedly get the attention of our "leaders". These people whom we have given charge of our nations welfare need to be reminded whom they serve. We are not surfs or pawns in their grand scheme to take over the world.
The way I see it, if ANY of our representatives has voted or acted contrary to the will of their constituency they need to be removed from office immediately and charged with treason. They are NOT elected to decide what is best for us. We decide! Want to know what we think? Ask us! Don't presume to tell us what we should or should believe feel or think.
That's why they call it leadership. You must be willing to go first. Don't even presume to legislate to us what we must do and then exempt yourselves from it! How dare you! The nerve of these bureaucrats and social elite wears at my least nerve. They need to either get with the program, i.e. the U.S. Constitution, or get bounced.
To answer your final question, people that are only half, or even a quarter still identify themselves as black because there is a social advantage to being a minority…trust me, I know. I try to avoid it as much as possible now (not including my ID here on the website) but in my younger years, I bought into that "minority = victim" BS that the left pushes.
Here's another question even Glenn Beck didn't ask: When Rahm was stating that Fox news is "not a real news organization" I would have asked, "Since when does the White House dictate who is and who isn't a news organization? Isn't that up to the viewers?"
Point taken….but…..isn't it ALSO still milk?
OK I know the sacrificing thing was a joke, but that's a little extreme. Remember how conservatives got mad whenever jokes were made about killing Bush or more recently Wanda Sykes saying she hopes Limbaugh's kidneys fail? Kinda hard to be genuinely pissed if we're doing the same thing.
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Almost 1/2 of 1 percent of the population (including children) are lawyers…??!!11!!? We're so screwed.
Well that's a good question, never looked it quite like that before, sounds like food for thought!!!!!!! Recent Revelations are Michelle is the same as you just said Obama is, except her daddy was white, yet she presents herself as all black!!! What's up with that, who's the racist???
Would it make you feel better if most of us think even the Republicans need to be sacrificed. Remember, we conservatives don't like to disciminate?
Hey, I resemble that remark! As a lawyer, I can tell you we're not ALL bad. Especially when someone gets into legal trouble – civil or criminal – then you need us.
So be nice!
LOL!
I had a similar idea for the folks here in the California legislature: if the budget is not passed on time, the AC should be turned off. With Sacramento in triple digits for a great deal of the summer, they just might work a little faster/better. Being California, there's plenty of plastic faces, too.
Your view on minorities was what I was thinking. There are many scholarships, grants, awards, etc. specifically for minorities, but no one has one that excludes minorities. Can you imagine an award for the Best White Male Actor? It would horrify people.
[...] Moore: A Capitalist Story (0)Tagged as: comedy, elm street, new video, nightmare, pelosi Burt’s Eye View: Questions Even Glenn Beck Hasn’t Asked – bighollywood.breitbart.com 10/22/2009 I have a few questions on my mind and, judging by the [...]
I hear the reason is that there is a chef at the local Denny's that makes a wicked chicken noodle soup. You can't get that in Omaha….well, maybe you can.
Networking, that's why they need to be In DC. Meeting, discussing best way to sell bad ideas, producing talking points to promote those bad ideas, talking to media to press for those bad ideas, and pushing those ideas in mass for solidarity. How else can you sell refrigerators to Eskimos's? Is that the right answer???
I would love to know the carbon footprints of DC public servents and Hollywood entertainers.
How about moving Congress to a location in the "flyover" states ever decade…. First of all, it would lead to JOBS . Building 5 star restaurants, hotels and brothels for Congressmen and Senators to frequent while legislating away oourliberties would help strugling loal economies. And with the need for 20,000 full-time lobbyists to find living space right next door to those they bribe anbd write legislation for, it will be a boon for any local comeerical real estate developers who can build the oppulent lobbying centers for them to ply their trade. Just imagine how great it would be for those 535 buttclowns in Congress to actually meet REAL Amereicans as they plan the next legislative tome to foist on America. And by forcing the major newspapers to leave New York, Chicag and LA to actually get the news they claim to report on, they too would maybe get to know some real Americans and get a view of the country not usually to be found at Georgetown-hosted cocktail parties….
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