The Thought that Counts
by Burt PrelutskyI never imagined I’d say it, but I’m beginning to identify with Barack Obama. I’m certainly not referring to his politics or his narcissism, but it seems that both of us really suck when it comes to gift giving.
First, he gave Prime Minister Gordon Brown some DVDs that were incompatible with English electronics and then he gave Queen Elizabeth an iPod that contained his speeches. Well, I hate to admit it, but I can empathize. Shopping for a prime minister has got to be hard enough, but trying to shop for a woman who has her own country would give me the mother of all migraines. Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t just fall back on that old reliable. When in doubt, I say, you can’t go wrong giving cash. Which, by the way, seems to be one of the things, as opposed to bowling and speaking without a TelePrompter, at which the president seems to be quite adept. And, best of all, the cash, unlike the iPod, would be a personal gift because the Queen’s picture would be on it.
But I have to admit I’m beginning to really worry about the Community Organizer in Chief. I mean, he ran for president as the man who was going to make the world love us like nobody’s loved us, come rain or come shine. Instead, he’s turned into the master of the gag gift. I can’t help wondering what this practical joker is going to do next. Send Prime Minister Netanyahu a honey-baked ham? Send Mahmud Ahmadinejad a pair of elevator shoes? Send Pope Benedict XVI a whoopee cushion?
Frankly, though, I must confess I don’t know why we’re so concerned with how other countries feel about us. Do you think anyone likes Russia or China, Pakistan or Saudi Arabia? Do you think Mexico, France or Cuba lie awake nights wondering if Holland will be inviting them to the annual tulip festival? Do you actually believe that Japan calls up Korea on a Friday afternoon and suggests they go bowling? Or perhaps you imagine that any country in the world has ever in its entire life said, “You know who I’ve really been missing lately? Let’s throw a come-as-you-are party and invite good old Germany!”
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47 Comments
Nothing says I care quite like cash, huh Burt? Funny stuff!
Yeah, unfortunately, it's always 'the thought that counts' with these folks. I don't think it's so much a concern about what other countries think of the US as much as what other country's leaders think of our president. Given his latest performance on the world stage, Mr. Obama doesn't command much respect.
I can think of some gifts for Iran and N. Korea, delivered by special air mail.
I can think of some gifts for Iran and N. Korea, delivered via air mail.
i only started to worry recently as other countries love the bent over America (fine, bowing is a nicer thing to come out of a lady's mouth). standing firm, they knew we meant business. all bendy at the waist they know they have us right where they want us.
If I were President and visited the queen, I would be festooned with gifts – like Dr. Frank's Pain spray, an old queen must certianly have aches, a shamwow, a chia pet molded in the image of the US, and a collection of the hits by Christy Lane. You know – stuff that matters. But, what I find revolting is there must have been twenty or thirty sycophants that told him that the gifts were a good idea.
I assume the I-Pod speeches were edited to remove the uhs, ums,and ahs. Also a voiceover to say "looks right, looks left, looks to the center, shows toothy grin followed by grim solemnity." I liked the show tunes part better. A couple of queens listening to "The King and I." PS: Before anyone has apoplexy, I got that line from one of my gay friends.
And in a Machiavellian reversal, they love him. Better to be loved than feared (or respected).
I heard our idiot president has been pandering to the Turks; if he goes to Turkey I hope he asks for an Armenian coffee. Better yet, I hope he asks an Armenian for Turkish coffee.
I used to be married to a narcissist. One of the traits is they are sucky gift givers. Another is they are always wanting people to like them and worship them, while simultaneously not giving a rats a$$ about anyone except themselves. Libs were embarrassed, they say, by Bush being our President. I am embarrassed by having this clown represent me and my fellow citizens to others in the world, especially our best ally, the UK.
The real gag gift was what the 52% of morons in this nation gave us for a president.
““It is best to be both feared and loved, however, if one cannot be both it is better to be feared than loved.”
- Niccolo Machiavelli
Unfortunately for obama he is neither feared nor loved outside of his sycophant sphere, he is simply a naïve tool to be manipulated; a useful idiot.
Good point. You may be right, they seem to love him. Maybe it's his boyish charm they love. It was enough to get him elected. I wonder if they'll love him if someone needs a mighty american ally for protection? Nowhere is it writ in stone that America will always be 'the land of the free, home of the brave'. That was earned the hard way. Being everybody's equal, when the world needs a leader, may be costly.
The Queen is a fan or Corgies, and a world class trainer of hunting dogs. Surely some brainiac from the Ivy League watched enough PBS to have seen the episode of the Windors where she is calling her dogs to track a deer a mile away from her. Surely someone from that vaunted brain trust would think "How about a book on Hunting dogs?". Afterall, I am just a peasant from one of the "big square states in the middle" who went to a lowly state university, and I was able to come up with that much. Our pres is an embarassment.
====Nowhere is it writ in stone that America will always be 'the land of the free, home of the brave'.=====
Indeed. Now we're more like the land of the slave and home of the beggar.
They hated W, but at least they knew that when the barbarian hordes came to get them, they could always count on America to intervene. Sooner or later, they'll realize that, and wonder what the hell they saw in this gutless wonder. I like a good smooch to my arse occasionally, but the smoocher is the last one on earth I would trust to tell me the truth, let alone defend me in a crunch.
I bet they have a Hallmark card for just such an occasion. I bet the Obamas found it a Walgreens.
As for the Middle East: When you care enough to send the very best. . . send the Marines.
BHO has proven to be Slick Williy's equal at visiting foreign soil and trashing the citizens of America. I'm betting all future effigy hangings in Iran will have our dear leader wearing a blue dress. What with him being the ultimate party slut and all.
Words to live by! Or at least, to set your foreign policy by!! Awesome.
He should have had James Earl Jones record the speeches.
Wouldn't there need to be a thought before it could count?
Other gift suggestions:
Tie
Hickory Farms snack set
Best Buy gift card
Well played Joan, that’s funny.
Yeah. "Puke, I'm your father, breathe, breathe."
Unless it's a gift certificate!
Ok, if you don't like that one, how about the ghost of Richard Pryor? "America…. is not at war…. with Islam… mother#&%er."
The Richard Pryor speech begins with "flash, boom."
Oh, that Barry! I can hardly wait to read what President Teleprompter will give as his next gift!
It wouldn't surprise me if he tried handing out some of those "Flooz" bucks from the company that went belly-up back in 2001.
Don't forget the Shamwow!
I would add to your list a painting of Dogs Playing Poker on black velvet.
President Obama seemed more concerned about everybody outside the U.S. on his European Apology Tour than he does with his own constituents. I'm hoping the country returns the favor in the next presidential election.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
Send Prime Minister Netanyahu a honey-baked ham?
Actually that's not bad, Bibi can always re-gift it to the Gaza Strip relief effort. I've been wondering if perhaps some of that rebuilding money they promised could be used to buy high-quality US-made backpacks, help keep some jobs over here. Durable, can be dragged through tunnels, made of pigskin leather so they last for Eternity.
Someone wiser already said it, but it can't be reiterated enough; he might be loved by many, but the bad dudes are laughing. His weakness is going to get some(or sadly, a lot) of those who love him killed. Better to be feared……..
"When you are on fire… and running down the street… Republicans… will get out of your way."
There are several in that set, knew a veterinarian who had them in the waiting room. American classics, every one!
Unfortunately, I sometimes think that 52% of the country is more concerned about Europe's opinion of America than Middle America's opinion of America.
His weak gift giving continues. Italy gets slammed by an earthquake and Obama ponies up with a whopping $50,000! That will go far…………..
I think that a gallon jug of Paisano accompanied by a bag of pork rinds and maybe some Slim Jims are always welcome gifts. Flowers optional.
Good Lord, if the Office of Protocol is this messed up, it scares me to think what the rest of Obama's gang is doing in Washington. This clown is making Clinton look polished and sophisticated.
I'm with ya on this one boilerbacker. I was married to a narcissist too!
I'm not an Obama fan in any way, shape or form, but surely the iPod was better than what the Queen gave the Obamas: an autographed picture of her and Prince Phillip.
Yeah, but who gets an autographed picture of the Queen and Prince Phillip? Other heads of State, sure, but that's because it's tradition. The point is, that's not something you can just zip over to Wal-Mart or Best Buy and grab off the shelf, or order quick off of Amazon. It may not seem like much, but it truly is a unique gift that very few people can claim to own.
I will admit that the other part of the gift they got the Queen, a songbook autographed by Richard Rodgers (the Queen reportedly likes her show tunes) was definitely a step in the right direction and showed some creativity and forethought. But a run-of-the-mill iPod is bush league and chincy, especially when the Queen already has one.
Giving the queen English cash is a better idea than an iPod, which she probably already has, and has stuff on it she ACTUALLY WANTS. In the future it will be worth much more than US money. If Obama signs each bill that would make them even more valuable and cherished.
Obama is more generous at giving than you think. By the time ALL THE GIFTS ARE GIVEN:
China will get California, Nevada, Utah, and Arizona.
Russia will get Alaska, Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming.
Iran will get Maine, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Connecticut.
Saudi Arabia will get Florida, Georgia, South and North Carolina.
North Korea will get Hawaii, California, and Nevada.
Obama will get his share of the states as HIS KINGDOM.
The other states will be divided up according to the countries who helped Obama become King of HIS country.
New Jersey will not be wanted by any country, so it will become a separate country.
It's the thought that counts… kinda like the paltry $50,000 we sent to Italy in the wake of the devastating earthquake. Personally, I think I would have re-routed some of that 900 million dollars going to Hamas. Or the four billion going to ACORN. But then again, I never would have allotted that much money for either one of those organizations in the first place.
Speaking of ACORN, just send some of them over there. They'd be way better at finding dead bodies than any cadaver dogs. Heck, they manage to find people that don't even exist in the first place. Should make the rescue efforts go much quicker. There may have been 400 missing people before, but by the time ACORN is done, 550 of them will be found safe and sound.
But, I guess the President needs to send a generous thank you note to those who helped him get elected. Kinda classy I suppose.
Like HELL Russia gets Montana! A state that just passed a law exempting itself from Federal regulations on guns and ammunition transfered and manufactured in the state is not going to capitulated so easily.
Unfortunately, that won't be for you to decide. When Obama gives our country over to the UN THEY will decide who gets what. The only choice we will have is wether to say or leave.
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