Hope and Change and Brother, Can You Spare a Trillion?
by Big XThe answer from Congress is a resounding “Yessiree-bob, you betcha!”
Big X here, broadcasting live from my regular booth at the swanky Peacock Lounge, high atop the mighty Breitbart Tower on Sunset and Cherokee in the bleeding heart of Tinseltown, U.S.A.!
Pack up all your tears and woes, listeners. Hard Times are over! Our new President, Barack Obama, has leapt from his corner fighting in peak form, delivering a devastating first-round K.O. to the impending economic meltdown with the passage of his Stimulus Package! Yes, folks, I hear the greenbacks are flying off the presses so fast that workers at the U.S. Mint are crying out to Congress, “Slow down, boys! You’re spending it faster than we can print it!”
Hot dog! Let’s take a look in the goody-bag!
2.5 billion for broadband grants to rural communities! Free wireless for sodbusters! I got two words for that: Yee-haw!
A 19.9 billion dollar increase in food-stamps! Mmmm-mm! Now that’s a lot of mac-and-cheese!
And what’s this…? Yikes! Look out, dead-beats! Obama’s got your number and it’s a cool 1 billion for Child Support enforcement!
The anticipated results of this spactaculicious Government spending-spree? According to Team Obama, 2.5 million jobs will be created in just the first year alone! Wait… I spoke too soon!
Attention! Disregard my last report! Team Obama now projects 3.7 million new jobs! No! Wrong again! Hold on to your hats, folks, I can’t keep up with the teletype! And… whoa-nilly! Team Obama has released yet another projection: Over 4 million new jobs! Yes, ladies and gents, that’s a four followed by six big fat bee-yutiful zeros, a whopping 160% increase since my last paragraph!
Our waiter, Rodrigo, has been kind enough to bring an adding machine to our table and my lovely assistant, the delightfully buxom Miss Montenegro, is cranking out numbers with the agility and single-minded deliberation of an ancient Roman galley-slave!
Pull, Miss Montenegro, pull!
What? No, my dear, we can’t afford a comptometer! Folks, her exquisitely manicured digits are a blur over the Bakelite buttons as she punches in the final figures and… here it is! The tape, please…
Wait? Could this possibly be correct?! Holy-moley, folks, it’s 100% officially certified! Obama’s new Stimulus Package will create 350,000 new jobs each and every month! And that’s working from numbers that are a full two paragraphs and one exclamatory aside old; numbers that, by now, may very well have even doubled or, dare I say it… TREBLED??!!
Why, at this rate, by the end of Obama’s fifth term, every true-blue, shovel-ready American guy, gal and tot in all 48 states will be gainfully employed, care of everybody’s favorite rich uncle.
Yes, lords and ladies, I’m talking about good old Uncle Sam!
Thank you, Mr. President!
Hold on! Miss Montenegro is frantically waving her hand for my attention and… corrections, folks! That number includes both, jobs created and saved! I repeat, jobs created and saved.
What’s that, Miss Montenegro? How will they keep track of jobs that are saved? Why… who knows? More importantly, who cares? A job saved is a job earned, I say! Now be a dear, light my Havana and have Rodrigo bring me another one of those yummy Manhattans…
That’s all the time we have, folks. Until next time, this is Big X reporting live from Hollywood. And remember, Picky people pick Peter Pan peanut butter.
This is Big X, out!
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59 Comments
$260 billion of the stimulus is for welfare programs! A welfare recipient saved is a recipient earned. Somehow I think BHO the community organizer, who has lived on handouts most of his life, would include receiving welfare as a job so factor that in….
Everybody sing! "Happy days are here again, the skies above are clear again, lets sing a song of cheer again, happy days are here againnnnnnn"
This was brilliant! Thank you
Why, at this rate, by the end of Obama’s fifth term, every true-blue, shovel-ready American guy, gal and tot in all 48 states will be gainfully employed, care of everybody’s favorite rich uncle.
MR. X, you forgot there are 57 states!! Better double check the calculations just in case.
Don't you mean in all 57 states?
Hot diggity dog our savior has delivered us, praise be the Bamster the magnificent one. Tell it like it is, Mr. X!
I'm listening to him right now at the mayor's thing and he's saying the same exact thing he did the other day. Almost word for word.
They hadn't changed the teleprompter script yet…
There are about 153 million people in the nation's workforce now. If 4 million of those people are still employed after the stimulus has worked its magic, then that's 4 million jobs "created or saved."
[...] Homeless Herald placed an interesting blog post on Hope and Change and Brother, Can You Spare a Trillion?Here’s a brief overview…are crying out to Congress, “Slow down, Bboys/B! You’re spending … A 19.9 billion dollar increase in Bfood/B-stamps! Mmmm-mm! Now [...]
Hot digitty dang! Ima load up the Tin Lizzy and take that ol' Route 66 ta Californy and pick me some of that there stimulus fer Mister Obama's CCC. Dustbowl days are over! Grampa, you ride up top!
Whatever happened to the budget surplus when Clinton was President? Republicans are 8 years too late questioning DC fiscal policy and are acting like Ron Paul was their general election candidate. Painful years ahead of the GOP.
Quite a sarcastic article there. Interesting to hear the other side of the debate, I suppose.
Cue the human interest stories from the media resulting from the Stimulus Package. Any minute now, we'll be treated to tear-jerker stories about homeless people back inside their homes, Little Johnny who couldn't afford college now able to become a doctor and, of course, millions of jobs that will fall from sky. Water will turn into wine and honey will drip down from the mountaintops. It'll be a Christmas miracle.
http://the100mostannoyingthings.blogspot.com/
"The response of the right to the crisis in America was to flee to its catechism. The Republicans propose to bail out the economy with doctrine. Unemployment is 7.6 percent and rising, and they say: let them eat Friedman. When billions and billions of dollars are needed for the Pentagon (fine with me) and for Wall Street, it is damn the zeroes, full speed ahead–but when the prospect of relief for ordinary Americans in trouble rears its fair and compassionate head, the deficit desperately matters again. The Republicans are not only heartless, they are also hypocritical, since the cause of all this misery was the market abandon that they promoted so messianically. These are the people who would have privatized, that is, destroyed, Social Security: how can their protests not be met vehemently? This vehemence is not "partisanship," it is analysis. It is not "populism," it is liberalism,"
- Leon Wieseltier.
You mean: A welfare recipient saved is a VOTE earned
They're not fooling anyone but themselves
"who has lived on handouts most of his life"
You sir are a liar. Get your facts straight. He is a self made man. You should respect that.
Google: Tony Rezko
Tony Rezko put him through school? Tony Rezko gave him all the answers on his tests? You said MOST OF HIS LIFE. MOST. Tony Rezko raised him as a single mother? If you're going to come back with something bring more than some lousy talking point/slogan I've heard a thousand time.
Obama's EDUCATION owes nothing to Tony Rezko loser.
Liar.
Ok stop already with the straw man about his education and childhood. I will modify what i said to "some of his adult life." Happy. Also, teh name calling screams pwned so stick to the issues please. I'm out. Bless you and have a nice day.
Self made? The man had his entire education paid for, not by his parents, not by a scholarship and not through his own labors but by Dr. Khalid Abdullah Tariq al-Mansour according to Percy Sutton. We should also note that both Columbia and Harvard have refused to release his transcripts so we don't even know what kind of grades the man got. Self made!?! The man was groomed for this very purpose by people who loathe America. People like Rashid Khalidi, William Ayers, Rev Wright and Tony Rezko made this all possible.
You were essentially accusing him of having earned nothing and been just another lazy welfare-taking black. That was the insinuation and the undertone of your comment. If you deny it then you will again be lying.
If you don't want to be called out in the first place, don't make dishonest distortions like that. He didn't get a free pass for his education, he EARNED it, motherf'er. Your comment implied that he did not.
Seriously you're an idiot. You want to see his transcripts now?!? You've all lost your minds.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TzCcOziVc8
I especially love the part where the young man at the town hall meeting gasps as he thanks Obama for taking time out of his busy schedule to grace them with his presence.
The black thing is another strawman. I never said that he was lazy either. I don't mind being 'called out' but not to debate strawman after strawman. I disagree with the stimulus and I disagree with Obama's reasons for supporting it which I think have something to do with his experiences and the way he was groomed for office. I'm not racist. I don't hate him or you and I'm not lying.
Don't forget Granny and her goiter! On second thought, don't bother and stay right where you are! Under Obama, every state's a golden state!
I'm an idiot? I'm not the one hovering around a blog created for those who share a different viewpoint than my own. You must have been neglected as a child and even as an adult are starved for attention so you deliberately take time out of your day to harass and correct those you feel superior to.
"self made man"? You got to be kidding, right? Add affirmative action to shortcutting his way in to the Ill. Sen., to running as a black man in a city where black men dominate with their racist skin color-first-as-a-voting motivated electorate, skipping to the U.S. Senate where he did NO HEAVY lifting to the point where I doubt he really inderstands the legislative process, that's why he handed Pelosi and Reid a BLANK CHECK called a "stimulus", and you call that SELF MADE? tee hee, that's a goof. You sir are a moron.
Vaugh, this guy CLEARLY isn't superior to YOU. You're cool, don't sweat the small fry.
This FRAUD, Obama, is the "poster child" for taking the shortest possible road to where he is. If find that totally repugnant, kinda like a Kennedy. IF HE WERE WHITE, WE WOULDN'T BE TALKING ABOUT HIM 'CAUSE HE'D STILL BE IN ILL. SCREWING THAT STATE UP, NOT UNLEASHED NATIONWIDE!
People have been asking about his transcripts for over a year now. The truth will eventually come out about this "FALSE MASSIAH". So, "stupid" face MECCA and pray for "Bammy, he's gonna need it!
What a load of crap. if you think this bribery package is beneficial to average Americans you're a moron. This FOOL Obama has taken a trilliion $$$$ HANDGUN, PUT IT THE MOUTH OF U.S. BUSINESS and U.S. TAXPAYERS and PULLED THE TRIGGER. Watch inflation SOAR! That will outpace any "benefits" the economy might feel.
Young and sycophatic, kinda like most ignorant Obama supporters.I remember people shaking their heads and talking about actually voting for McGovern in '72. Then laughing…this time the JOKE REALLY IS ON US.
You BET! Oversight, smoversight! Let Barney RUN FREE!!! Let him "sleep" with Fannie Mae execs! (I wonder how much "sleeping" barney and his banker "friend" did?) More 'sweetheart" deals for Dodd! No job? No income? Can you fog a mirror? We got a fed backed mortgage for you! (just be a minority!)
Where would you really want to put your measily smock job federally mandated S.S. $$$? The stockmarket or the government? 40 years from now I want you to tell your domestic partner " I screwed up, I could have had REAL return on my investment, but I'm a liberal and I believe in the BIGGEST GOVERNMENT possible with AS MUCH CONTROL of MY LIFE AS POSSIBLE….sigh, yo Bob go shave, my Mother is coming over for dinner!"
I'm watching the OBAMA/BIDEN 08 stickers QUIETLY dissappear from the backs of cars, even at the university. This will be an inverse "I was there when…" type phenomena…"Vote for Obama?" " Why no, my cat was sick that day and I didn't make it out? Who won?" I saw it with Carter. NOBODY admmitted they voted for that total BOOB by about day 350 of the hostage crisis. A nation held hostage, 'cause Carter had No B@LLS! We're still dealing with the fallout of that fiasco and Carter is still kisssing every militant ARAB he can find, it's disgusting…
Where would you really want to put your measily smock job federally mandated S.S. $$$? The stockmarket or the government? 40 years from now I want you to tell your domestic partner " I screwed up, I could have had REAL return on my investment, but I'm a liberal and I believe in the BIGGEST GOVERNMENT possible with AS MUCH CONTROL of MY LIFE AS POSSIBLE….sigh, yo Bob, go shave, my Mother is coming over for dinner!"
Leon sounds like a real tool. You got anymore "pearls of wisdom" from Leon? Maybe he can channel Marx and tell us "what would Karl do?"
My Secret Obama Decoder Ring says, "Eat more Cracker Jack!"
(Wait, is that racist?)
It's not a strawman, son. You CLEARLY imply that he has not earned his place because of his race – you used a cliche, a stereotype. Stop lying and admit it.
I may the Teh Stupid but I'm not an idiot. It's time to start making honest arguments.
This was one of the funniest blog postings on BH since well, “Iowahawk yesterday. The nasty little leftist troll like TEHSTUPID can’t have a laugh. While he publicly services Barry, I begin to wonder, “what’s in it for him? Why does he deify a politician of any stripe? He’s so invested in the Bamster it seems curious? The screw job on this country was given to us by every insipid politician in Washington left and right for the past 70 years. The only reason TEHSTUPID would come running to the Bamster’s defense vociferously is there’s something in it for him. I know it’s the extra $13.00 a week, right?
TEHSTUPID, “What’s in it for you?
Sometimes I wonder about the future of our great country, but today a student in class here at U. of Texas E.P. asked me "what are you gonna do with your extra $13.?" I just laughed. We'll survive this moron, we survived Carter. Not to sound like a "black helicopter" extremist, I do wonder how many radical Islamo-facists are lying around watching "Baywatch" and waiting for the signal to commence Jihad? Watch any moves restricting second amedment rights very closely…
This same queation should apply to the main stream media…what a bunch of sycophants…
Actually he owes it all to affirmative action and handouts.
Yes please lets see them.
You think he was a PROFESSOR of Law. Not!
I did some research: When Obama says " Trust Big Government, when run by democrats it has NEVER BEEN WRONG, trust your local, state and federal bureacrats, they will HELP YOU (get some stimulus pie) Trust, above ALL, ME! I know I just got here but my daddy and mentor Saul Alinsky, he SPEAKETH THE TRUTH! Obama SUPPORTERS HEAR: Baaa baaaa, govbaa GOOD…trust baaa, free feed baaaa, follow the bell sheep, baaaa, who is that black sheep over thereaaaaa? Baaaaa have you been shorn latelybaaaaa? Shear the rich sheep baaaaa, they deserve to be naked sheep baaaaa….
I did some research: When Obama says "Trust Big Government, when run by democrats it has NEVER BEEN WRONG, trust your local, state and federal bureacrats, they will HELP YOU (get some stimulus pie) Trust, above ALL, ME! I know I just got here but my daddy and mentor Saul Alinsky, he SPEAKETH THE TRUTH! Obama SUPPORTERS HEAR: Baaa baaaa, govbaa GOOD…trust baaa, free feed baaaa, follow the bell sheep, baaaa, who is that black sheep over thereaaaaa? Baaaaa have you been shorn latelybaaaaa? Shear the rich sheep baaaaa, they deserve to be naked sheep baaaaa….
I did some research: When Obama says "Trust Big Government, when run by democrats it has NEVER BEEN WRONG, trust your local, state and federal bureacrats, they will HELP YOU (get some stimulus pie) Trust, above ALL, ME! I know I just got here but my daddy and mentor Saul Alinsky, he SPEAKETH THE TRUTH! Obama SUPPORTERS HEAR: Baaa baaaa, govbaa GOOD…trust baaa, free feed baaaa, follow the bell sheep, baaaa, who is that black sheep over thereaaaaa? Baaaaa have you been shorn latelybaaaaa? Shear the rich sheep baaaaa, they deserve to be naked sheep baaaaa….damn pushy sheepdog baaaa…
Man, you ARE stupid, not putting us on with the name. Frankly, both parties have done a job on us poor taxpayers and we actually fall for some of the rhetoric some time.
No more. I am not paying any taxes, pure and simple. End of story. If the Dems don;t have to, neither do I.
Then reply honestly. There are a LOT of people out there who haven't had to do a darned thing all of their lives, had someone else pay for their education, have paid for someone else to type their papers for them, and the come in all shapes, sizes, colors!! It's called college!! Look at the morons being pumped out by universities across this land who wouldn't know honest work (or honety for that matter) if it reached up and bit them on the arse! Wake up, please.
Funny how that sliding scale went the other way during the campaign. First it was tax cuts for those making 200,000USD, then it slid to 150K, Then 120K, THEN 100K. Apparently, the "spendurarse" package has tax cuts for people making 75k or lower. Promises promises promises. Does anybody believe him anymore?
He's kept them sealed, so it's not like we can examine them. Idiot. Just hang yourself and spare us all the trouble, okay?
That's a goiter? I'm thinking implant and saline or silicone and you're telling me it's a goiter?
Great article
Why is it Liberals take the fun out of everything? I've never been to a Liberal site, do they have any fun?
Where ARE those transcripts and birth certificate?????
My grandfather used to warm me about being a HOPE DOPE.
Now half the country needs a warning.
Perfectly said! This article is awesome!
Very helpful article, thanks for sharing and hope to read from your website again.
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