‘We Serve Too’: Some People Get It
by Bob HamerI recently saw “Brothers at War,” a powerful new documentary by Jake Rademacher. As I exited the theater I quickly put on my sunglasses. I’m sure it was just allergies…macho undercover FBI agents don’t cry…but my eyes were misting up. What really moved me were the deployment scenes. This documentary “got it.” I’m not sure Hollywood has captured the impact of a combat deployment on our military men and women and their loved ones.
Since April is the “Month of the Military Child” maybe it’s time we all “got it.” Living in San Diego, the news often covers units returning from overseas deployments. We attend a church where several young families are in the military and my wife is active in a group called MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers)…no, we are long past the preschool stage but my wife is a “mentor” mom. Military families are represented in that group as well. As I’ve shared before, our Marine son, who is stationed on the East Coast, is deployed. Maybe because I was a Marine and our son is on active duty, we have taken an interest in families with deployed spouses.
I took a husband to Camp Pendleton at midnight so he could say his good-byes to his family at home and avoid the tears in front of his men. I sat through dinner with elementary-age school children who spoke of their deployed dad being a hero. I’m familiar with a twenty-month-old who waves at every military Humvee calling it “a daddy truck” and calling for his father, even though his dad is half-a-world away in Afghanistan. I’ve watched a little boy sit almost mesmerized viewing a video of his dad holding him the night before his father left for a combat deployment. Or how about a one-year-old who cries out to a Marine dressed in desert cammies, thinking the man is his daddy because his father has been gone for several months and his only memory is of a man dressed in such a uniform.
It isn’t easy explaining to a child why his parent has to leave for months at a time. My wife and I found a book that tries to make the explanation simple, “We Serve Too” by Wee the People Publishing. The book is designed to ease the burden of the non-deployed parent explaining why dad or mom is serving. It makes the children a part of that service, since they too are sacrificing and serving our nation, more than we may ever know. We bought a carton of books and gave them to deployed families. Wee the People Publishing “gets it.”
I hope you will too.
Semper Fi.
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34 Comments
Wow… "I’m familiar with a twenty-month-old who waves at every military Humvee calling it “a daddy truck” and calling for his father, even though his dad is half-a-world away in Afghanistan. I’ve watched a little boy sit almost mesmerized viewing a video of his dad holding him the night before his father left for a combat deployment. Or how about a one-year-old who cries out to a Marine dressed in desert cammies, thinking the man is his daddy because his father has been gone for several months and his only memory is of a man dressed in such a uniform."
Not enough people truly understand the weight of those emotions. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to seeing Brothers in Arms.
Thank you to all who have served or are currently serving.
Thanks for a great article. We need more of these. People who have never served overseas in hostile environments under constant duress will never understand the love these men and women who serve have for their country. To those who have gone, I salute you.
And they serve Silently, as well.
"wee the people" — totally clever!
Greart article, thanks.
"They also serve who only stand and wait." Milton from the "Sonnet on HIs Blindness."
We can't be reminded often enough about the sacrifices our military and their families make. Thanks for this piece, Bob, and thanks for your work.
We owe a huge debt of gratitude to our men and women in the armed forces for their continued sacrifice.
My Father-in-law is a Vietnam vet who got to see his son born (my husband) just before he left to fight the war. He missed virtually all of my husband's infancy but he served with honor and returned to his family. I feel so lucky to have married into a military family. My FIL is still in the service (Major General now!) and I've had the chance to meet vets who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan. They do our country proud and don't get nearly enough credit. But truly, the families bear a huge part of the burden too. My Mother-in-law virtually raised her kids by herself for years. But if I've learned anything, it's that military families are very very strong.
Just tell them the truth: Daddy is a stone cold steely eyed killer that gets up before commies, spits nails and farts fire. If your kids stay in school….study hard, dream big and pray harder….some day they can be like daddy. MAYBE.
JK…..good post.
I think that just cost you your ticket to the Obama Surrender Ball.
A million times over, "Thank you"–to the author, and to all our beyond-noble military families.
Great article, Bob.
On my latest deployment, my oldest (then 12) hugged me as the bus came to pick me up, but wouldn't let go. He'd never shown emotions like that when I'd previously deployed. I was shocked. I had to whisper to him "Buddy, you gotta let me go. The bus is waiting for me. No worries; I'll be okay. You need to take care of your mom and siblings. I love you." Still, it took a few minutes before he'd let me go, then he wouldn't look at me. Poor guy.
And that was for a wimpy 138-day deployment. I pity my comrades who have to leave home for 12-18 months with a small, two-week break in the middle. God bless them.
Good, me and my kid will stay home and watch wonder pets instead
That's time much better spent. The pets don't bite the hand that feeds them. LOL
You brought up a subject Bob that is all too much forgotten. I think of the military wives trying to raise small children with a husband half a world away. And the children – sacrifices that fly under the radar.
I grew up in an Air Force family, I really met my Dad in a real way at age 11. My Mom did a great job with four little kids running around and she rode herd on us well. My Dad flew combat in Vietnam, was gone for just over a year, and it was was a little tough. I knew where he was and what was happening.
Not only do the families face the enormous burden of being without their loved ones, but then they face the cruelty of the public back home when thoughtless people deride our men and women in uniform for the service they provide. I cannot imagine the pain it causes, and I cannot imagine where our sense of honor as a society has gone that we can so easily degrade those who have opted to risk life and limb for us in the face of their families.
Great read Bob, great story of the courage of our brave military families.
Military families are the best. I grew up in one, had one of my own, and stay in touch with so many wonderful friends from a lifetime of of association in that community. They "get it." I just wish so many of our fellow citizens did. Serving adds dimension and depth to one's life that cannot be found anywhere else. The support military families give each other is fantastic.
Unfortunately, I live in San Francisco so John Galt wouldn't even waste his time here. Fortunately, though, my three kids and eight grandkids all have fathers (including me) who believe that a kind word and a gun are more effective tools of persuasion than just a kind word alone. My ex-wife voted for Obama, but we split up before she could do any serious psychological damage to the kids.
Unfortunately, I live in San Francisco so John Galt wouldn't even waste his time here. Fortunately, though, my three kids and eight grandkids all have fathers (including me) who believe that a kind word and a gun are more effective tools of persuasion than just a kind word alone. My ex-wife voted for Obama, but we split up before she could do any serious psychological damage to the kids.
I'm halfway through my current 18 month deployment. I appreciate this article and all the kind words, but what I like most is that people understand that it's my wife who bears the heaviest burden while I'm away. She's the one who deserves the thanks.
I'm halfway through my current 18 month deployment. I appreciate this article and all the kind words, but what I like most is that people understand that it's my wife who bears the heaviest burden while I'm away. She's the one who deserves the thanks.
I saw Brothers at War and the tears were rolling several times. Our military and their families deserve our highest respect. Thanks to all who serve and their families for their sacrifice.
PS–I was so angered that Obama didn't visit Normandy while on his European tour. The claim that he didn't want to offend France and Germany defies belief. I loathe the man.
"I loathe the man."
Once you just accept the fact that Obama is just a douche, it makes everything else go down easier.
Bob, awesome work man. Love how you do you bit to help out with the families. Doing the little things is doing the work of the Lord. Not to mention doing right for those folks deployed. Thanks much.
Man, you got it right on the deployment thing. My dad was a USAF pilot and I was ten in 1968 when he was deployed to Vietnam for a year. What an experience that was. The longest year of my life. I'm pretty sure mom felt similarly. To occupy my time that year, I taught myself how to tie flies and fly fish with dad's rigs. First thing we did when he got home was to go fishing. He was amazed at how good my Royal Coachmen were, but they were never anything like his. Dad was a perfectionist.
[...] ‘We Serve Too’: Some People Get It [...]
The pain and agony of a combat deployment is shared by all it touches. As a young grunt, I had no wife or children and, I guess, I gave little thought to what it did to my Mom and Dad. I only realized that when I finally got home and saw just how much my Mom had aged. I never forgot that image. Dad later told me how she worried and prayed for my safe return. Glad He listened to a loving Christian mother..
My bad LawhawkSF….I think I had you figured for someone else. Thats quite a large family you have there…..sounds like you did some things right. My ex and I get along pretty well……..(even though she is a lib) We stay focused on parenting and make the best of things. Some aren't that lucky though and thats too bad. My family has always had guns around but for the most part they just turn into paperweights locked away in the top shelf…..far from reach of curious hands. I go to the range a few times a year to send money at targets and stay proficient. Aside from that….I forget I even have them.
I figured as much. No problem. I tend to react automatically when I see someone posting from San Francisco as well. Not a lot of us conservatives in this neck of the woods. It took until my younger daughter's wedding six years ago before my ex and I started speaking to each other. A long time to stay angry. But despite my jab at her earlier, she was a very good mother, and never got between me and the kids. We all grew up with guns, mostly for hunting, some for self-defense, but always treated with respect. I only cling to mine when Obama is making a speech, about anything. Since we'll probably be posting on the same subjects from time to time, don't forget: Lawhawk, good guy, on your side. Take care of yourself. BTW, Beverly Hills Chewbaca really cracked me up.
Beautiful article, Bob. And great book recommendation.
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