Tim Slagle publishes on both Big Hollywood and Big Government.
He is a political satirist who has apperaed on national comedy and televison news shows, most recently on Fox News Redeye, and the Bob and Tom Show.
He is part of Jerry's Kidders, a comedy news roundtable every Saturday morning at 11AM Central on WGN AM 720 Chicago, The Voice of Chicago. He is also heard in heavy rotation on the XM/Sirius satellite radio network.
He has had articles published on Townhall.com, and is a contributing editor for Liberty Magazine. He produced ”The Mudslingers Ball,” a short run TV series for KSTP-TV Minneapolis/St. Paul.
His first cd, “Europa,” was released in October of 2006 on Stand Up! Records and is available on iTunes and Amazon.
He can also be seen at comedy clubs, political functions and fundraisers nationwide. For more information, visit www.timslagle.com.
Tim Slagle
Jay Leno’s Back on Top & Critics Remain as Irrelevant as Ever
by Tim SlagleHow do critics stay employed? Next to Weathermen and Wall Street Analysts, only critics are more incompetent forecasters. In fact, it would seem that critics are so bad at analysis, that if the critics loathe a movie, play, or television show, there is a fairly good chance it will be a blockbuster.
I often wonder how these people keep their jobs. Perhaps the editors share their disdain, and they like to keep them around so the rest of the staff will know which productions to avoid. Because it seems that most newspaper writers are left-wing drones who hate anything that might be entertaining, even in the slightest way. In certain circles, what you like to watch is less important than what you don’t watch. The most popular stance you can take with these elites is to claim that you NEVER watch television and rely on NPR for all your news.
A recent example of this was seen with the debut of Jay Leno back into the Tonight Show desk. Critics panned his opening monologue. But his ratings were huge. And the audience came back the next night, fueled in part by his selection of Sarah Palin as a guest. Now after two weeks, it seems that Jay is back to the number one slot that David Letterman held during the reign of Conan. (more…)
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Boobs: Now We Know Why ‘Avatar’ Is So Stupid
by Tim SlagleSince I reviewed “Avatar” a couple months ago, James Cameron has gone on the defensive with the film’s multitudinous critics. The Right thinks the film is anti-business, anti-military, anti-human, anti-Western, and anti-American. One charge he actually LIKES is John Nolte’s remark that it is a “Death Wish” for leftists. Cameron claims, “Nature gets to fight back. It’s ‘Death Wish’ for environmentalists. When did nature ever get to fight back in a movie?” (Perhaps James missed “Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.”) Meanwhile, Cameron seems to have ignored right-wing critics like myself who claim the film is stupid.
That’s what I want to see Cameron address. I could care less whether the film is a slam against corporations, makes America the villain, or if it treats the military as a bunch of hate-mongering thugs, None of this is new to Hollywood. They’ve been making movies like that for at least the past fifty years.
I think if he really had to defend the intelligence of the film he wouldn’t be able to do it. Cameron is ignoring critics who found the film as dumb as a Supermodel, because it is also the one charge that might sink his Oscar hopes. Academy members wouldn’t vote for a stupid picture, and unfortunately many aren’t smart enough to know that it was. (more…)
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‘Green Police’: Green Theft Comedy
by Tim SlagleMy favorite Super Bowl commercial had to be the “Green Police” ad. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy half naked women, anthropomorphic animals, and flatulence just as much as the next guy; but the “Green Police” ad struck me hard, right in the satire-bone.
It’s what us “deniers” have been warning about for at least twenty years: those who will sacrifice a little Liberty for a cleaner environment will eventually live in a dirty prison. It might defy Leftist logic, but private property is incompatible with environmental laws; Socialist Utopias aren’t known for their sparkling environmental records; and some of the filthiest places in America begin with the word, “public.”
So it is with great delight that I watched a German automaker, poke fun at the environmental fascism that America is embracing without trepidation. I thought to myself that only German experience could write such an ad.
Unfortunately, my humor was tempered a little, because I could have sworn I had seen it all before. Sure enough, there was a short film, with a remarkably similar premise made by American filmmaker Adam McKay a few years back. Co-starrring in the piece was Will Ferell, in a clip so funny, that you could almost forget “Land of the Lost.” Rounding out the trio is “Stepbrother’s” and “Talladega Nights” co-star John C. Reilly. (more…)
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Leno vs. Conan vs. NBC: Who Cares? Save ‘The Tonight Show’
by Tim SlagleConan supporters gathered outside NBC stations across the country to protest the move of the Tonight Show from 11:35 to 12:05.
If there is any real blame it should go to Conan’s attorneys who didn’t think of writing a specific time slot for the show into his contract. Yet Conan’s supporters insist that Jay Leno is at fault.
Jay is being caricatured as a cry-baby by Conan supporters. In my opinion, Conan is the one being immature, acting like a sixteen year old, who can’t believe his parents are taking the car away … after he wrecked it.
Few remember that Conan isn’t a pacifist. When his contract was up for re-negotiation back in 2003, he told NBC that he wouldn’t sign the contract until the Tonight Show seat was added to the contract. Jay never really raised a stink about being forced out, because he remembered how he got the Tonight Show in the first place. (more…)
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REVIEW: The Beautiful & Moronic ‘Avatar’
by Tim SlagleI think every guy has done it at least once. Sure it’s shallow and in retrospect, we’re probably quite embarrassed. I know that every single one of us has dated a girl that is out of our intellectual depth; but we didn’t care, because she was so breathtakingly gorgeous. They say love is blind, but when it’s not, it can be incredibly stupid.
That’s what I thought of when I was sitting through Avatar. I don’t think there has ever been a dumber picture made. The plot is fairly easy to figure out, only slightly more complicated than a Scooby Doo episode. Once again American corporations are paving over paradise, all in the name of the bottom line. I’m sure that even children are going to know where it’s going within the first fifteen minutes.
Yet despite its overwhelming simplicity, it was hard not to be smitten, because it’s so aesthetically fantastic. The world of Pandora looks like a Rain Forest Café that was turned into a salt water aquarium. It is full of fiberglass animals, mossy trees, anemone and glowing jelly fish.
Everything on Pandora glows in the dark, even those ten-foot half naked blue people. I’m sure that no one will notice that the naked savages were played by African and Native Americans, since the film’s message is so politically correct. It has long been a tradition in Hollywood to let people of color appear naked in films, even after the Hayes code was passed. (more…)
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If NBC Really Wanted to Save the Planet They’d Go Out of Business
by Tim SlagleI just saw this AP article, where California is again discussing how big of a television set you can own. This time, they are pitching a limit on how bright your television set can be. I believe is an attempt to curb greenhouse emissions, by forcing television consumers to turn out the lights when watching television and sit closer to the set.
This is a new proposal, concocted after California Legislators failed to regulate the size of their televisions. That one didn’t sit too well in the land that coined the phrase “Size Does Matter.” I would suggest that the more intelligent legislation would be to ration inches. For instance my (not to brag) 110″ television, would be the same as some people who have a 12″ set in every room of the house. (more…)
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Elvis Disease: Bill Maher Needs an Intervention
by Tim SlagleA friend of mine once called it Elvis Disease. Occasionally an individual will become so powerful, that he forgets he is mortal. (It’s what happened to Marlon Brando’s character in “Apocalypse Now.“) Because when a human becomes so important that people confuse him with a god, he might start believing it himself.
When Elvis came out of the dressing room for the first time in that sequined white jumpsuit with elephant bells, high collar, and a matching cape, he asked the people he thought were friends, “Ahh , what d’yall think? Ahh picked it for my Hawaii show…”
But everyone lied, and told him that he looked great. He didn’t really have any friends. Just a handful of people making an incredible amount of money working at Elvis Inc. So nobody stood up to him. When a man gets surrounded by a phalanx of assistants, groomers, managers, agents and other members of the entourage whose job it is to tell him how great he is –these things happen.
Michael Jackson suffered from the same affliction. Nobody had the nerve to tell Michael that he shouldn’t be sleeping with little boys, so it continued. If you remember the Martin Bashir documentary, he was very adamant about his proclivities with those beautiful little boys: “Why can’t you share your bed? That’s the most loving thing to do, to share your bed with someone…” (more…)
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Will Letterman Face the Fire He Threw Without Mercy?
by Tim SlagleWhen felons were induced to talk, they were shown first the instruments of their torture. The King is shown the instrument of His… to induce Him NOT to talk. - The Madness of King George
And with the full knowledge of what will happen next, the current King of Late Night. David Letterman announced to the world that he has been guilty of sexual indiscretions with some of his staff.
That had to be difficult. Over the past 27 years we’ve enjoyed watching Letterman take apart people who have fallen prey to simple human urges. From Gary Hart’s Monkey Business, through Woody Allen and Soon Yi, into the Clinton years, and right up to the Palin scandal that forced an apology; David Letterman has been right on top of others’ indiscretions.
So he knew what he is facing. In a stifled apology on his show last night that sounded like it was written by Garrison Keillor, he got remorseful with the audience: (more…)
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Will Ferrell and Co. Answer the NEA Call, Shill for ObamaCare
by Tim SlagleA couple weeks ago I wondered aloud where Hollywood was in the health care debate. And almost on command, this video appeared. It looks like the NEA’s call for artists to promote health care initiatives has been heard by some comedy artists.
Hollywood superstar Will Ferrell is surrounded by eight “celebrities” in a satirical defense of the health insurance companies.
And I use the term “celebrities” loosely. One is the only recognizable character from the cult series “Heroes,” another is a star of a popular cable series that was recognized at Sunday’s Emmy Awards, another is a star of a cable series that nobody ever watches, one is from Comedy Central’s Reno 911, another is his best friend, one is the star of the hit movie franchise “Scooby-Doo,” and to give the clip credibility, two of the “celebrities” actually play doctors on TV. I will give a prize to anyone who can name all eight without using Google®. (more…)
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ObamaCare: Where is Hollywood?
by Tim SlagleWith the health care debate getting loud and furious, you have to wonder why Hollywood has been so remarkably silent. Maybe the Celeberati don’t care whether citizens have health care, or maybe they are happy with the generous coverage they get from SAG and AFTRA, and believe the President who tells them they will get to keep their current coverage.
It can’t be accidental. Certainly there must be one celebutard who has an opinion on the debate. I long for a wonderful bit of wisdom from Sheryl Crow, perhaps a suggestion to save costs and the environment by washing and re-using band-aids.
Where is Barbra Streisand? Barbra has been noticeably absent from all political debate lately. Probably not coincidentally, she just released a new album. Perhaps her handlers advised Babs to tone it down; that her target audience is composed primarily of senior sitizens now, a demographic that has a tendency to skew conservative and worry greatly about their health care. (The profit motivation is an awesome force, strong enough to restrain torrents of wisdom from the Great Barbra Streisand.) (more…)
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Cindy Sheehan: Where Have All the Cameras Gone?
by Tim SlagleCindy Sheehan brings Camp Casey to Martha’s Vineyard. Meanwhile, the mainstream media is as apathetic about her new protest as they are about an Afghan body count. As the President’s strategy in Afghanistan appears to be failing worse than his economic policies, and his promise to end American military involvements overseas is withering alongside health care reform, recalling those lofty promises from last year’s campaign is like looking at a marriage proposal from the other side of a Las Vegas hangover.
Outside a short article by the AP there is very little coverage of Cindy Sheehan. The woman who once couldn’t go anywhere without a spate of cameras in tow, is now wandering the streets of Martha’s Vineyard completely alone. Her name is as forgotten by the locals as Mary Jo Kopechne. This despite the Island being packed full of journalists right now; journalists who couldn’t resist an all expense paid trip to the Vineyard to cover the vacation of His Presidency. I’m fairly certain there were a lot more journalists already on the island than there were in that ditch outside of Crawford four years ago. (more…)
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This Week’s Late Night Awards
by Tim SlagleForty years after man first walked on the Moon, and every single talk show opened their first monologue of the week with jokes about it. Conan O’ Brien did a revisit to last week’s erased Moon tape bit, this week suggesting that a Mr. T rap video was recorded over the original moon landing tapes. Stephen Colbert claimed that the New York Times reprinted their July 20, 1969 front page as a “moving tribute to a time when people got their news from newspapers.”
Of course David Letterman did jokes on it almost every single night. Conspicuously absent on Letterman this week were the Ruth Madoff jokes about switching to Geico® and California Pizza Kitchen®. The Bernie Madoff joke this week (Monday and Friday) was how a call girl is the only person who actually made any money off of Bernie. He also jumped on the joke Jimmy Kimmel started last week about Obama’s Bingo Pants, but of course, Letterman’s joke was at the expense of people who might look more appropriate in Obama’s pants (Hillary, Rosie O’Donnell, Chastity Bono). Kimmel did a redux, and claimed he doesn’t want a President in tight jeans, he just wants a President that shops in the men’s section. (more…)
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Jon Stewart’s Brilliant Audience
by Tim SlagleAre Jon Stewart fans smarter than the rest of us? Is that the reason why many of us do not find him hilarious… that we’re too dumb to get the joke? His audience goes into stitches when he rolls his eyes and puts his hand over his mouth, and I’m left befuddled. Or am I too old? We all know that the people who watch “The Daily Show” are young, intelligent and informed. Or at least that’s what they’ve been trying to tell us. Unfortunately recent polls paint an entirely different picture.
Maybe it is generational. I know that’s how some fans explain the humor gap to me. Stewart is playing to the young kids and I’m just too old to get it. The problem is, while “Daily Show” viewers might still think they’re kids, they aren’t anymore. Rather than holding a Student ID in their wallets, most “Daily Show” viewers are much closer to their AARP cards. In fact, a recent analysis puts the average age of a “Daily Show” viewer at 41.4 years old.
But are they brighter? Well, according to a recent online poll by Time magazine, 44% of respondents claim that Jon Stewart is America’s most trusted “Newsman.” You cannot convince me that bright people would trust a comedian to be a “Newsman.” (Or maybe it’s just normal for the kids today, since comedy is now considered ample experience to be a United States Senator.) (more…)
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This Week’s Late Night Awards
by Tim SlagleEmmy nominations were announced last week, and David Letterman, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, Jon Stewart, and Saturday Night Live all got one. I believe Conan O’Brien and Jimmy Fallon are too new to be considered this year, making Craig Ferguson the wallflower. He suggested that the reason he was skipped over was because the Academy hates Americans. (I think he’s on to something). Letterman bragged he got one for “Best Apology.”
I have no proof, but it appears if there is a new sponsor for Letterman’s daily Ruth Madoff joke. For the past several weeks he’s been doing the same exact joke about Bernie Madoff’s wife claiming her $92 million wasn’t from swindling, that it was money she saved by switching to Geico®. His repetition makes me think the insurance giant’s paying Worldwide Pants to do the joke every night. This week, he added a joke every night about Ruth’s favorite item at California Pizza Kitchen® that suggested they were a new sponsor. On successive nights it was chicken ponzi, chicken al-fraudo, and veal scaloponzi. (more…)
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This Week’s Late Night Winners and Losers
by Tim SlagleIt’s going to be a very sparse one this week, since Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and Jon Stewart were all on vacation. (Last week, everybody but Stewart and Colbert were on vacation so I didn’t watch. They re-ran those episodes this week, but except for the Michael Jackson stuff, there wasn’t really enough overlap material to judge them fairly).
Lamest Attempt at Obama Joke: David Letterman claimed that Obama was in Russia, hiking the Appalachian trail.
Letterman also used John McCain as a foil on three different nights to compare the disparity between winners and losers of the last Presidential election: While Obama traveled to Russia to meet with Putin, McCain was chasing kids off his lawn. While Obama was in Italy, McCain was heating up a can of Chef Boy-Ar-Dee; While Obama was in Italy meeting with the G-8, McCain was on his front porch in Arizona, waving at cars. (more…)
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Democrat Utopia Nothing More Than a Fantasy
by Tim SlagleCap and Trade, the biggest tax increase in American History, sailed through Congress without anybody even bothering to read it. What will prove to be perhaps the biggest historical change to the American way of life seemed nothing more than a Congressional mouse click, the Terms of Service Agreement on a new software installation. What is it about Democrats that they have such trust in other Democrats?
There was no debate, no discussion; in fact the bill wasn’t even finished when they started voting on it. Yet they all knew they would like everything in the bill, and rushed the vote. I’m somewhat envious of the common goal they all seem to share, but I’m also suspicious of why nobody bothered to read it. Granted it was fifteen hundred pages, Fourth of July recess, and the deposit on the Martha’s Vineyard cottage wasn’t refundable.
I think there is also something else at work here: Democrats tend to have more faith in the system than they have in the individual. When President Reagan tried to close the Department of Education, he was considered to be against education. It’s not just spin, Democrats really think that way. They feel it’s important to keep the Department of Education, because without it, there will be no education. Without the Department of Health, we would all be sick; without the Department of Commerce, the economy would fold. Ditto for the FDA, the FCC, FAA, and the rest of the alphabet soup. (more…)
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Late Night Awards of the Week
by Tim SlagleWhile the President was pitching health care and the Speaker was rounding up support for Cap and Trade, the Late Nights were focused on Mark Sanford: a Republican governor that seemed like a comeuppance for Democrat Rod Blagojevich. In fact many of the hosts brought up the Illinois Governor in their jokes.
Craig Ferguson said after Spitzer and Blagojevich, the most normal governor was Jesse Ventura. He also said that a family values governor having a mistress is like Al Gore needing four SUVs to bring his lunch to him.(It was disappointing that Ferguson didn’t see the irony in his remark, because Al Gore DOES require multiple SUVs when he travels) Funniest line went to Conan O’Brien, who said the affair was a shock, because usually, Republicans don’t do well with Hispanic women. (more…)
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Late Night Round-Up: Huckabee and Stewart Spar on Abortion
by Tim SlagleAfter a week that will go down in history as the moment Republicans finally stood up for themselves, comics are not laying off John McCain’s former running mate just yet. Bill Maher said that Iran was propped up by oil revenue and run by a religious whacko, just like Alaska. Letterman, despite frequent jokes about the amount of hate mail he has been receiving, couldn’t help mentioning that Gay Pride week was the only time of year when you can see hundreds of men dressed up like Sarah Palin.
The big topics of the week were Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and the presidential fly killing:
The election of Mahmoud was compared by the talk show hosts alternately to the 2000 Presidential and the 2008 Minnesota Senate elections. Fallon claimed that now that his opponent lost, he’ll go on to make a documentary about Global Warming. David Letterman actually did a joke almost every single night, changing the punchline from Florida voting machines, to Pat Buchanan, Al Gore, Al Franken and Jeb Bush. Bill Maher used Norm Coleman then criticized his audience for not knowing who he was talking about. The funniest line was Ferguson’s who claimed that Iranian politics have finally gotten as corrupt as Chicago. (more…)
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D.L. Hughley Parrots Leftist Talking Points, Ignores Inconvenient Facts
by Tim Slagle
Lately it seems like most of what the left considers intellectualism is just condescending arrogance based mostly on talking points and ungrounded assumptions.
Take, for instance, the debate over marijuana legalization. It is always assumed that the Democrats are in favor of legalization while the Republicans want to keep it verboten. Perhaps the explanation is that there are a lot more potheads in the Democrat Party, not that they have genuine intellectual curiosity. Democrats are the political home for the chronically lazy–given enough pot, your average Democrat will go on a long extended conspiracy rant about how hemp can feed, clothe, and fuel the entire earth, how it can grow without water, pesticides or fertilizer, and how the corporations paid off Republicans to make it illegal because it’s impossible to make a profit selling it. (more…)
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A Darwin Moment: Television Goes Digital June 12th
by Tim SlagleToday is a big day in broadcasting history. There is a monumental change coming down the pike several years in the making. Unless you’ve been incarcerated at Guantanamo, you probably already know: Television is going digital.
The reason for the changeover is that the FCC already has tenants waiting to move into the bandwidth that will be created by the changeover. Cellphone companies have already bought leases on those frequencies, and the FCC raised 19 billion dollars auctioning off that bandwidth (and probably spent every single dime of it on TV ads and converter-box coupons.)
Strange that Americans have been able to pick up on HDTV without coupons or awareness campaigns. Millions of people have educated themselves on HDMI cable, anamorphic output and Blue Ray discs with little or no money from the government. Those who couldn’t figure it out created a market for professional tech support companies like the Geek Squad.
Is it really possible that there is anybody left in America that doesn’t know about it? Congress sure thought so. On February 4th of this year they passed an emergency extension, and a $650 million dollar funding supplement to allow the program to continue. (more…)
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