Originally from Norwood, Massachusetts, Tom Shillue is a writer and comedian who has been seen in his own “Comedy Central Presents” stand-up special, on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien,” and in his own segment on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.”
His autobiographical monologues have become a fixture in the New York downtown comedy scene, and his stories have recently been published in the Ben Karlin anthology Things I’ve Learned From Women Who’ve Dumped Me from Grand Central Publishing and in the forthcoming Afterbirth: Stories You Won’t Read in a Parenting Magazine from St. Martin’s Press.
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Tom Shillue
Warning: This Post is Not Funny
by Tom ShillueA lot has been written lately about how comedy writers are having a hard time finding humor in President Obama. “He’s just too competent,” they say.
The answer is obvious. They, on the left, are having trouble making fun of the left.
But what about us? We have a bigger problem. How are we supposed to make fun of the left?
When I get together for coffee with my fellow pragmatic, reality based, sort-of-right-wing comedy writers (many of whom still speak in hushed tones here in Manhattan, as they are still in the closet), I find I have nothing to poke fun at as I scan the morning papers. I used to relish tearing apart an op-ed from the Times or a column from Slate in front of my buddies, but lately I am left wanting. There is nothing funny anymore. One cannot parody a parody.
Here, let’s try. Take a look at this Sally Quinn article in The Washington Post, in which she “defends” Michelle Obama, after saying that “She has come under attack for exposing her arms.” (Has she? Did Sally Quinn just make that up? Could you find me someone who has done that?)
Everybody Lay off Janeane!
by Tom ShillueI like her. And yes, she is funny. If you’ve only seen her on political talk shows, you’re going to have to take my word for it.
I did a show with her in NYC the other night, and she was delightful. A small room in the West Village, packed with people, everyone laughing. She’s a comedian, and a good one. I prefer her more personal material to the political stuff, but that’s the way I feel about most comedians. After the show we spoke, and at one point I reminded her that I’m kind of right-wing. “That’s you’re problem,” she said, and then we got back to the friendly talk. We went on to have a great conversation and share some laughs. On a personal level, I always have a good time with her, and you would too. Believe me.
Here’s my point: I sense a little misplaced anger over her comments about the tea parties. It strikes me as a Captain Renault-like expression of shock. In order to take great offense at what she said we have to ignore the fact that the very same thing is said, in more subtle ways, every day. The left never stops accusing the right of racism.
Also, she is not a politician–she is asked to give her opinion on TV because she is blunt and opinionated. Speaking tactfully is not something we should expect of demand from entertainers–in fact, we should encourage just the opposite. I for one can appreciate a good right-wing nut job comedian, who crosses boundaries and says things that other people are thinking, but does it in a way that would be unacceptable for a politician. That is why it is shocking, and that is why it is fun. Maybe not funny, but fun–to the right wingers in the back of the room who are glad that somebody is saying the things that they wish they could say. (more…)
by Tom Shillue
Jude, you hit it on the head. I can’t believe that quote went right by me.
He actually said his leftist politics made it “hard for people to vote for him”. What?!!? Think about that. That is the essence of the these guys–they act as if they are out there all alone fighting the good fight against the masses. There is NO ONE out there who is not constantly patting Sean Penn on the back. Ridiculous.
Thank You, Sean
by Tom ShillueI wanted to see Mickey Rourke win that award, but Sean Penn did not disappoint. He brought a triple helping of “colossal self-righteous blowhard” to the table–just what this broadcast was lacking.
“Thank you for this award, and it sure is great living in a racist, homophobic, red-baiting country. Please continue buying tickets to my movies, you backward thinking idiots.”
Thank you Sean, you are the reason this blog exists.
by Tom Shillue
That Tom Cruise promo for Jimmy Kimmel was funny. C’mon, doesn’t everybody like Tom Cruise now that he’s embarked on a campaign to get people to like him?
I’m serious-I don’t care if Tom Cruise and his new publicists dreamed up this new Tom Cruise just to manufacture popularity. It’s working with me. I like the guy.
by Tom Shillue
Sure, Bill, your documentary was not nominated because we couldn’t deal with your searing truth. It’s such a touchy subject, you understand.
by Tom Shillue
Last time I saw a broadway medley like that I was waiting for the cast to finish so my waiter could get me my drink.
by Tom Shillue
Let’s go back a few minutes… what was Tilda Swinton saying about strippers never having to take off their dignity along with their clothes… what in holy hell was she talking about?
by Tom Shillue
I’m with Jude about the Oscars in general. The only major Hollywood actor I have respect for is George C. Scott, because he said “I don’t want it. Keep it. I want nothing to do with this.” or something to that effect.
I think he’s the only one who did that, not counting people who did things like sending an American Indian up on the stage to deliver a political message.
Good Parents Wait a Few Decades For a ‘Thanks, Dad!’
by Tom Shillue
There is a public service announcement that runs on TV from time to time, I can’t remember what organization it is for, but it goes like this:
A man sits in his easy chair reading the paper. His tween-age daughter comes downstairs in a skimpy outfit and tries to walk out the door. The father says sternly, “Young lady–you’re not going out dressed like that. Get back upstairs and change your clothes.” (more…)
Big Hollywood Readers, Admit It
by Tom ShillueWe’re glad.
Despite witnessing the unprecedented sycophancy of the past few days. Despite the fact that our friends are walking around with silly grins on their faces like they’ve been popping tabs of ecstasy. Despite having to listen to breathless journalists in Washington D.C. hyperventilating as they spoke about being a part of history. “I think I just saw the top of his head! Yes that was it! This is historic!”
It’s better than the alternative.
I’m only speaking for those of us in New York and L.A. I know there are a lot of you in flyover country who don’t know what I’m talking about, but you have to understand what it is like living among people in “the business.” We’ve been surrounded by bitterness so long, we just want everyone we know to be happy for a little while. (more…)
Fake Crash Pilot Obviously Not a Movie Fan
by Tom ShillueHey, Marcus Schrenker (formerly the missing pilot guy), what were you thinking? You want to disappear off the face of the earth and go into hiding, and this is how you do it? Let me get this straight; Your plan was to parachute from your jet aircraft, allow it to go down in flames in a residential area, ask a cop for directions, and check into a motel. Then, when you were caught, you were holding a road atlas and campground directory. Way to go “off the grid,” buddy.
This guy is an embarrassment to all men. Women probably don’t know this, but all of us have sketched out elaborate plans in our head as to what we would do if we ever had to go “dark” and vanish for a while. Don’t worry, we are not planning to, but we’ve got to be ready just in case.
Some guys would walk into the woods with nothing but a rucksack and a hunting knife, other guys would go the Swiss bank account/Jason Bourne route, just speed-walking around Europe occasionally having to deck effete policemen using Tae Kwon Do. Personally, I prefer the former, as I like to avoid confrontation.
But one thing you never, ever want to do is create such a splash with your escape method that it gets the attention of Greta Van Susteren and Nancy Grace. Show some subtlety, brother! You are giving us all a bad name. Remember the Scout motto: Be Prepared. (more…)
Boycott George Clooney? How Un-American!
by Tom ShillueThis recent attempt at a SAG Awards’ boycott of eight actors by some Hollywood members of the Screen Actors Guild got me thinking about an Oscar night from almost ten years ago when the Academy was honoring Elia Kazan with a lifetime achievement award.
I remember being on sets or in casting-session waiting rooms and getting into heated “discussions” with actors about The Red Scare Blacklist, and how we should “never forgive anyone who named names to save their own skin.”
But Kazan only ever admitted to doing what he thought was right. But my actor friends, most of whom were born long after the period in question, and whose knowledge of The House Unamerican Activities Committee was usually limited to lectures from their favorite college professor, wouldn’t buy it. “Phooey,” they said. There was only one explanation: anyone who cooperated with HUAC was a coward motivated by ruthless career ambition. Anyone who refused to testify, however, did so only out of a high minded commitment to principles.
Hollywood On The Recession: Told You So
by Tom ShillueHave you heard?
According to this story in the Guardian, Hollywood is geared up and ready for the recession, and it seems they are eager to entertain us with a series of big-budget “I told you so’s”.
Baz Luhrmann is all set to mount a re-make of The Great Gatsby because, according to him, “People will need an explanation of where we are and where we’ve been, and The Great Gatsby can provide that explanation.”
Oh, boy. Here we go again. Do I really need another lesson in why the American dream is a charade, and our materialism leads to emptiness and despair? I’ve heard this all before.
I get bored just thinking about The Great Gatsby. Ok, I know, it’s a classic. Beautiful language, great characters, blah, blah, blah. Then why did I find it so tedious? I can’t really blame F. Scott Fitzgerald. I blame professor Fournier. He wanted me to know the true meaning of Gatsby.
First Name in News You Can Use
by Tom ShillueThis CNN video shows us that in these tough economic times, there is only one place to turn for tips on how to live well–Communism.

Watching this report from Havana, it almost seems fun living under totalitarian rule–Cubans are certainly “free” to work long hours on their cars. Communism also teaches you to make do with less, helping you to be more creative and resourceful, and affording you the opportunity to tool around in a classic Chevy or Caddy. Just look at that grill–living in Cuba is like being in the movie “Grease!”
CNN forgot to mention the other way that Cubans love to tinker with their vehicles.










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