Robert J. Avrech is a screenwriter and producer in Hollywood. Among his best-known films is the thriller, "Body Double,” directed by Brian DePalma. His script for the modern Hasidic tale, "A Stranger Among Us," directed by Sidney Lumet, was an official selection of the Cannes film festival. Robert won the Emmy award for his adaptation of the young adult classic, "The Devil's Arithmetic" starring Kirsten Dunst and Brittany Murphy. Robert was also nominated for The Humanitas Award for "Within These Walls" starring Ellen Burstyn and Laura Dern. Robert also writes an award winning blog, Seraphic Secret.
Robert J. Avrech
Hollywood is Burning, Part III: Gauntlet
by Robert J. AvrechNote: Links to previous chapters at end of this article.
“Attack, always attack.”
My friend, the heroic Israeli tank commander, told me that in the first few days of the 1973 Yom Kippur War, both fronts, The Sinai and The Golan, were so weakly defended that had the Egyptian or Syrian high command been strategically bolder, tactically smarter, and their soldiers braver, well, the Arab armies could have achieved massive breakthroughs, and Israel would have found herself facing genocide.
The torture of Reginald Denny
But small, actually tiny pockets, of brave, determined and very well trained Israeli troops, in some cases, just two or three tanks on the Golan, held their ground and attacked enemy forces sometimes a hundred times their strength.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
| 
Hollywood is Burning, Part II: Get-a-Way
by Robert J. AvrechI have to protect my family.
I’m pretty sure the mob outside is dead serious about breaking in and getting down to some serious violence.
Not to mention liberating some pretty major karats. At the reception, I noticed huge diamonds whose glitter could induce seizures; watches: at least a dozen Cartier Tanks; I could not count the Rolex Oysters, and no doubt there’s enough loose cash to make your average L.A. rioter reasonably satisfied. This is, after all, an affluent Hollywood crowd.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Hollywood is Burning, Part I: Trapped
by Robert J. AvrechHollywood is burning.
Karen and I lock every door in the house, shut tight the windows, we move through the house switching off all the lights.
L.A. Burns. Not a SFX scene from a movie.
Gazing from our bedroom window, we watch orange flames lick at the darkness, pillars of black smoke climbing into the sky. We can actually smell the acrid odor of burning rubber.
“Look how close they are,” says Karen.
“Just past La Cienega. Maybe eight blocks away.” (more…)
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
10,000 Violent Women and One Screenwriter, Final Chapter
by Robert J. Avrech
Note: Links to previous chapters can be found at the end of the article.
“My ladies will probably try and slip you some letters, ask you to mail them on the outside. Do not do that. It is contraband, you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“One or two might try and hug you goodbye, in that hug, there might be an inappropriate touch. Resist the temptation.” (more…)
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
10,000 Violent Women and One Screenwriter, Part VI
by Robert J. Avrech
Hope Emerson, “Caged” 1950
Note: Links to previous chapters can be found at the end of this post.
EXT. PRISON YARD – DAY
The Screenwriter and the Corrections Officer are chatting about the list of prison movies Robert has promised to compile. Screenwriter and C.O. share a companionable relationship that is occasionally rattled by Cindy’s insatiable curiosity about her visitor’s private life.
“Okay Cindy, you ready?”
“Lay it on me.”
“My Ten Favorite Prison Movies.” (more…)
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Gotta Go
by Robert J. AvrechTreat my Karen induced bruises. You know who’s elegant? Heidi Klum. Bye all. Thanks so much.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
John
by Robert J. AvrechIs Big Hollywood elegant?
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Penn
by Robert J. AvrechThe gift that keeps on giving! Elegant! Karen’s kicking me out of joy!
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Elegant?!
by Robert J. AvrechIs that code for, ahem, homosexual? Who knew?
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Kate
by Robert J. AvrechThe lovable Nazi pedophile.I’m out of here.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
The Reader
by Robert J. Avrechis the most morally confused film out of Hollywood ever. It erases the difference between mass murderer and victim. It’s the first attempt to justify genocide—based on illiteracy. There will be more to come. I guarantee it.
In short: Kate Winslet could not read the sign that said: “Don’t Burn the Jews.”
That Hollywood produced and honors this film makes me very sad. These are not stupid people, just overeducated, overbred liberals mired in moral equivalance.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Andy
by Robert J. AvrechOne word: guh-ross.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Heidi Klum! Yeah! Karen kicks. It’s worth it.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Memorial
by Robert J. AvrechI’m waiting for Anita Page…
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Israel
by Robert J. AvrechThank G-d Waltz didn’t win. Down go Israel’s left.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Frieda Pinto
by Robert J. AvrechI just sighed. Deeply. Karen kicked me again. I’m black and blue.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Our Troops
by Robert J. AvrechI know this is dumb, but how about a shout-out to the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan—from somebody, anybody.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Andrew
by Robert J. AvrechMuslim terrorists are now a preferred victim group in Hollywood. I’m dead serious. On a project two years ago studio xxecs asked me to change Islamic terrorists to Christian terrorists. Can’t make this stuff up.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
The Scores
by Robert J. AvrechBernard Herrmann is rotating in his grave.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Ben
by Robert J. AvrechThis show is longer than shul on Yom Kippur.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Orencia? Gotta get me some.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
I just saw Sophia Loren. The world is good.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Jerry Lewis is Jewish. Just saying.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
What does it say about me that I like the Heidi Klum commercials better than anything!
Karen just kicked me.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Kissing a dude is considered deep acting in Hollywood. Sean will win for the icky stuff.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
That chandelier thing looks like something I saw at a bris in Boro Park.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Benjamin Button. 3 hours long. I thought I was going to die of old age.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
I love car chases. This got very serious when I first saw The French Connection. But have you ever noticed that the French don’t do car chases?
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Ha-ha. Karen’s in the kitchen and Hugh’s back.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
by Robert J. Avrech
Karen’s mom wants to know why I don’t have an Oscar. She actually looks angry at me. Sheesh. I cannot win.
Email this to a friend | Print |
Share on Facebook
| Tweet this
|
Follow Us on Twitter
Subscribe via RSS
Tips & Feedback