So, according to the New York Times, China has banned time travel from its tv show plots. They say that it lacks “positive thoughts and meaning.”

I agree, but for different reasons.

As I mentioned on Tuesday’s podcast, I spend most of my life, thinking about useless things.

Which means that I would be no help, if I were to travel back in time. For there is no way I might explain how anything from the present day actually works.

I am but a barnacle on the ships of industry.

I complain, instead of innovate. I ponder petty grievances, fantasize about heroic endeavors, imagine what I’d say if I met a cartoon.

And so, I am useless to society. but somehow we – or you – continue to solve the world’s problems.

And that’s my point: If it weren’t for the ingenuity of giants who like solving problems, I would be nowhere. Dopes like me can exploit our resources, because you, the smart guy, always finds new things to exploit.

Human creativity is so relentless, that no matter the challenges, we are always better off than before. Where ever creativity is stifled, by bureaucracy, or something called “fairness” – people suffer.

And teachers’ unions break out.

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So, here’s the greatest thing I’ve ever read.

A lady named Lori, writing over at Feministing blog, says she just attended a panel on “transfeminism,” where one speaker says we should stop thinking of abortion as a women’s issue.

Okay!

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Let’s hear more!

Lori writes:

The thing is, it’s not just women that have abortions. Trans men have abortions. Gender queer people have abortions. Two spirit people have abortions. People who do not fit into the box of ‘woman’ have abortions. This is the reality we live in, and the more we pretend otherwise, the more dangerous it is for other people, and the more they are excluded by the movement.

This concept, she explains, will strengthen ” our reproductive justice work.”

Yep, “reproductive justice work.”

Sometimes I think they just pull random words out of the dictionary.

Sorry, vagionary.

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So, his typical lunch comes from either McDonald’s or Popeye’s.

He binges on Big Macs or ribs, and desperately tries to hide it from his wife, who’s an ardent vegetarian [aren't they all].

He weighs close to 350 lbs.

In short, he’s a big fat guy…whose probably miserable – telling you how to eat.

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Welcome to the world of New York City Councilman Leroy Comrie, the portly pol who seeks a ban on McDonald’s Happy Meals – because he thinks the cute little prizes that accompany the food causes bad eating habits.

As opposed to say, human weakness.

Now, I’m not going to knock this guy for his weight, or for being a hypocrite.

Because, in a way he’s not.

I mean, it’s not like he’s hiding his flab. Well – he can’t – but I’m sure he’s aware that by attacking McDonald’s, he’s going to look foolish.

And he does.

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So a government shutdown was narrowly averted, and the world breathed a sigh of relief.

Well, not really.

And I’ll tell you why.

Normal people hate government.

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To me, it’s like women’s basketball. If it’s the only thing on, maybe I’ll watch it. But if I don’t have to, I won’t. So imagine network execs fighting over whether or not to air more women’s basketball – that’s how I feel about government.

So, Rejoicing that we’re now “open for business,” is like being happy your free-loading uncle is staying over, another month.

One EXCEPTION: i’m glad the military families are okay… but their paychecks should never have been in play.

The Dems could have separated that from this other budget crap – but I guess you-know-who didn’t want to.

And so we were able to shave 39 billion off a 3.6 trillion dollar budget.

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So the pint-sized pasta-pooper known as Snookie was paid 32 grand by Rutgers University to speak at New Jersey’s largest college.

And yes, they have colleges.

The inverse candy corn was booked by a student-run group, using money from the mandatory student activity fee.

Now, some might find this outrageous. How dare you pay that sum of cash to a pumpkin full of sherbert when you could get someone like…. Toni Morrison!

I disagree.

I believe the Snook is an inspired choice – once you consider the pablum students have endured in the past.

Like Paul Krugman, a miserable wretch possessing the humor of sheet rock. Or that mad-tingler Chris Matthews.

Then there’s Alec Baldwin, Christiane Amanpour, Face the Nation moderator Bob Schieffer, U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission chair Mary Schapiro, and Rachel Maddow.

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So according to some handy-dandy researchers, too much consumer choice is bad for society.

Their explanation: thinking about so many alternatives makes you less likely to support policies that help people.

According to a Science Daily scribe, who seemed somewhat enamored by this research, “Simply thinking about ‘choice’ made people less likely to support policies promoting greater equality.”

Their examples of such well-meaning policies that get screwed: affirmative action, taxing “fuel-inefficient cars,” and banning violent video games.

Now, you might find this funny.

But to me, it’s creepier than a shopping mall Santa in cut-offs.

These researchers seem to have concluded that a free society makes it hard for these same researchers to force their beliefs on the rest of us dumb people. Let’s remember, they assume the policies they favor are the helpful ones. Never mind that they have their heads so far up their asses they’re eating last night’s dinner.

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Tonight:

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So Evo Morales, the Bolivian President (yes, one exists) is demanding that Obama give back his Nobel Peace Prize. He claims that the Libya attack is so horrible, our President no longer deserves the prize.

Snorts Morales:

“How is it possible that a Nobel Peace Prize winner leads a gang to attack and invade? This is not a defence of human rights or self-determination.”

Whatever, Evo.

Just remember: you run Bolivia – the world’s third largest producer of cocaine, supplying Europe and South America.

According to the UN, coca production there went from 23,600 hectares in 2003 to 27,500 hectares in 2006 – which would mean something – if I knew what a hectare is.

(I think it’s a ingrown hair).

Anyway, Obama can’t give back the Prize because that would imply it’s worth something to give back – and we know it’s not.

If you remember, the pointlessness of the prize is why Obama got it in the first place. It’s the world’s most overrated doorstop, given to Barack as symbolic rejection of all that came before him – a bouquet for replacing Bush, and for agreeing that American exceptionalism is hooey.

As an acknowledgment of achievement, a spanking carries more weight.

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So by bombing Libya, Obama succeeds in pissing off his key supporters: the anti-war left.

Which shows you how naive the anti-war left is. if you actually believe a president will not go to war, because HE PROMISED YOU! – then you’re like every girl on Rock of Love.

Hopelessly disappointed.

And high as a kite.

People who campaign on peace, often wage war in office.

They’ll just drag their feet a little longer, which is what Obama did.

But I support the President because I try to be consistent on military matters.

And to be fair, so are some on the anti-war left.

Compare the currently angry Michael Moore to those lefties who, after reaming Bush for 8 years, are now oddly silent on Obama’s war. That’s kinda weird.

Anyway, after Obama’s behavior toward Egypt, he had little choice. Avoiding Kaddafi, after kicking a meeker Mubarak out the door – would smack of weakness.

But here’s why bombing Libya may be good: for forty years we’ve had to deal with Gadaffi’s vile mug. It may not be a “vital interest” to “get” him – but it’s justice.

Think of all the crap he’s done to innocent people, including Americans.

Lastly, the action angers the right people.

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Ed. Note: This is a ‘logue from last week.

So, on this rainy evening, I do what I often do: wonder what Nicholas Kristof is concerned about.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wonder, for long.

The New York Times writer was on Morning Joe – the tv show, not the hand massager – discussing today’s hearings looking at radicalism among American Muslims.

There, he said he had a problem with the hearing, because it makes us look like big meanies.

He said, “I’m sure that at mosques around this country, especially the more radical mosques, this is going to be seen as one more evidence that people are picking on us.”

Now, I gotta give Kristof credit, because he said what’s on the minds of all our nation’s spineless media.

And that is: protecting people is far less important than protecting feelings.

Which, first of all, is rude to Muslims. See, I think the average Muslim can appreciate concerns about terrorism. Tip-toeing around them is offensive, for it implies they aren’t civilized enough to deal with it. I think it’s pretty obvious they would embrace the conversation, rather than be excluded because of their religion.

And as for the “more radical mosques” that Kristof worries about – their feelings don’t rate. They already want us dead. Kristof seems to be saying, the best way to deal with a bully is to mollify him.

But how?

Should we visit these radical mosques with gift baskets?

I wouldn’t know what to put in them. “World’s greatest jihadist” coffee mugs?

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So you remember “Red Dawn,” it was that 80’s flick about American kids arming themselves against a Soviet invasion.

I’ve seen it thirteen times, mainly because I’m a huge fan of C. Thomas Howell. And I’m lonely.

But that’s another story for another time. The film has since been remade, with the producers replacing the Russian bad guys with Chinese.

But now – According to the L.A. Times, China has become such a big market for Hollywood, MGM studios have decided to replace the Chinese with North Koreans.

Yep, in a first for Hollywood: filmmakers actually digitally erased Chinese flags and symbols and replaced dialogue… so now North Korea are the invaders.

Because, with that country, there’s nothing to be gained, financially. It’s as lucrative as a Kathy Griffin porn site.

Color me unsurprised.

Hollywood may be where dreams are made, but it’s also where wimps are cultivated.

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First there was an earthquake, then a tsunami, then a meltdown, and now, possibly a volcano.

At this point, a Mothra joke seems inevitable – but also lame. Frankly, I’m not sure there’s anything I can say that adds incite or comfort to anyone after such a horrendous event.

Living in Manhattan, I’m always reminded of man’s ugliness. But I’ve forgotten about the arbitrary viciousness of Mother Nature. Looking at the devastation, from my cozy apartment, I can only think that there was someone in Japan doing that exact same thing when the quake hit. Sitting at home, drinking tea, in boxers.

Then it’s over.

Disaster rarely calls ahead.

We are all vulnerable to the whims of catastrophe, and as far as I can tell, there’s little wisdom to be gained from it.

Well, other than info for future planning.

Yep – we all know life is precious. But it’s also a sentence featuring ever-more-brutal methods of mayhem, and the hell in Japan just added another exclamation point.

Anyway, you’d think there are no winners in this tragedy, but you’re wrong.

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So it’s almost Springtime 2011, and Gitmo’s still open.

I’m beginning to think our President likes the damn place.

Either that, or he realizes it’s necessary- especially when a fair portion of the men released end up back at war with us.

And the rest are just fat.

True, these jerks eat well at Gitmo. Along with 21 TV stations and great medical care – they live better than me.

And, right on the water.

My apartment window looks over a fat man urinating.

Almost, the same thing.

Now I used to think Obama saw these suspects as criminals. Which meant they get all the rights that go with it.

But maybe now he sees them as enemy combatants on a strange new battlefield – where the victims can be found in Manhattan, London and Ft. Hood. I dunno.

So with Gitmo open, and our Prez okay with indefinite detention and military tribunals, you’d think someone might say, “I was wrong.”

I can.

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So Sunday, a few hundred protesters showed up in Times Square to denounce the upcoming House hearings on Radicalization in the American Muslim community.

The crowd, well-organized with professional signs that read ” ‘Today I am a Muslim Too,” targeted their ire at Peter King, the chairman of the House Committee on Homeland Security.

The protest was forgettable in its predictability; but the media coverage was even worse in its report-by-numbers portrait of the “event.”

First, it was mandatory to toss the term Islamophobic at anyone in favor of the hearings. Also, you must employ the word “witchhunt” when possible.

And because he announced the hearings, King is now being compared to Senator Joe McCarthy, the bellicose anti-communist censured by the Senate in the ’50’s.

Sure, Joe’s manic zeal was toxic, but it didn’t kill tens of millions of people. I mean, if you think McCarthyism was worse than Communism, you’re a loon. But you’re also a loon if you think Peter King’s concern over Islamic radicalism is somehow worse than Islamic radicalism itself.

The fact is, they’re labeling King the “new McCarthy” to keep him from doing his job.

Which is to make us safe.

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So, when I hear of an act of terror, an internal clock starts clicking.

I wonder, how long before we find out the suspect is a radical Islamist.

And then, how long before that affiliation is rejected as vital to the crime.

Witness the murderous acts against our military in Frankfurt: it was only a matter of hours before the killer’s links to radical Islam were exposed.

And it was only a few hours later, that we saw an Administration official dismiss that notion.

Here we have P. J. Crowley, bringing back memories – not only of Tucson, but of Ft. Hood, too.

Reporter: Even if somebody is acting alone, it’s not a terrorist attack?

Crowley: For example, was the shooting of congresswoman Gabby Giffords a terrorist attack. I mean, you have to look at the evidence, you have to look at the evidence and look at the motivation then you make a judgment and that is a process as far as I know that is ongoing.

Yeah. He went there.

P.J., which must stand for “poor judgment,” actually compared a horrible crime linked to radical Islam, to whatever was bubbling in Jared Loughner’s damaged head. (more…)