(THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE from thousands of people on the Washington Mall.)

Announcer:

“And now, ladies and gentlemen, the poet laureate; Maya Angelou.”

(Applause from the masses and inauguration VIPs.) (more…)

Dow plummets again.

All through the campaign Barack Obama told us not to listen to the “politics of fear.” These are the ways of the old guard, the naysayers, the negative ones - he said. Those who won’t sit and talk with the bad men are the warmongers - he called them. These are the guys who created our enemies, he inferred. Don’t listen when they use words like “terrorist” and ”disaster” and ignore the call to be vigilant. It’s a neo-con ruse. It’s a plot to scare you.

So what has our president been saying lately? The economic slump is a “continuing disaster,” he told us. He said the economy is “in crisis.” Back in December he told us it was “going to get worse.” Recently he warned of a “national catastrophe” if the stimulus bill wasn’t passed. He kept his speech before the joint session somewhat more positive in a stylistic sense (style points count when you blow off your promise about not tolerating any earmarks). But still, again down goes the Dow. (more…)

Four to seven years ago, our fathers scored and brought forth on this continent, some new homes, conceived in stucco, and dedicated to the proposition that all men can get second mortgages.

Now we are engaged in a great economic crisis, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated to overspending -putting in built-in pools – blowing a wad in Vegas- buying way too much crap on eBay, then stepping up to a “C” class –  can long endure. (more…)

Thanks for nothing Sean.

Ever. Old or new.

It’s an Elvis deal.

PHOOOONEEEEY.

Fabulous.

Only 1499.00 at Barney’s NY.

Or she’s walking Biden around to keep him awake.

Satisfied?

I would let her.

Snide-talk your way out of those 88’s Billy Boy.

5 down.

Wife givng me the evil eye.

And a laurel and hardy handshake.

I heard he had to be restrained during Brando’s Wounded Knee phoney stunt. Imagine if he were in the audience today. Fill your hands you sonufa beeeotchs.

Hugh Jackman pooped his pants.

Those weren’t Goldie Hawn’s nipples, they were age spots.

Jen gave Brad the finger during the clips.

Phoenix, is now driving to the Oscars with a 45.

I will finish the 6 pack.

“Thank you members of the press. Nice to see you. I’ll have a short statement then I’ll be happy to take some questions….”

Oh-oh- teleprompter went dead. Remain calm. Smile. Make eye contact.

Why the hell are all the press naked and smoking cigarettes? ……….. David Gregory,… Hannity, and Helen Thomas?! 

Wake up. (more…)

FLORIDA — FLORIDA — FLORIDA - FLORIDA FLORIDA FLORIDA…  Wake up.

Open eyes. Stare at the ceiling. Realize it’s getting warmer and the ice is melting little by little.  

Breathe in the aroma coming from the kitchen. Something’s yummy. The chef is making Tipper and myself a terrific breakfast.

Check the clock. Oh boy, supposed to talk to Carter in a few about that salmonella peanut thing. I know there’s some warming in there somewhere. The chef’s gonna have to trash that omelet and make me a fresh one. The hell with him, I pay him damn good. (more…)