A passion for great reading and writing has lead Ernie Mannix here to Big Hollywood. A former advertising writer, and radio writer/producer, Mannix also was the writer/publisher of a successful collectible magazine. His story, “Pat Hobby Turns Fifty” (a continuation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's the “Pat Hobby Stories”), was included in the University of South Carolina’s F. Scott Fitzgerald permanent collection.
On the music side, Mannix has worked extensively in the "pop" world, the "serious" world, and the commercial/film side of music. His choral music has been performed throughout Europe and the United States and is published by Warner Chapel. He has twice performed at Carnegie Hall, and has the surreal distinction of singing on that stage with the late, great Luciano Pavorotti seated in the audience. (We have been advised that when Italian singers hold up the middle finger, it is a compliment.)
His pop music has been recorded on the Phonogram, CAM, and Slant labels. His "Dinner at Eight" jingle for San Pellegrino (originally written for Tony Bennett), has been brainwashing you since 1987. He has composed the music for several feature films and television shows, including “The Deli,” and is scheduled to score John Andrew Gallaghers feature film, "Digger.” Mannix won the "Golden Reel Award" for best Music Editing at the 49th annual Motion Picture Sound Editors Awards.
Mannix graduated from C.W.Post L.I.U. majoring in composition and further studies include orchestration at The Juilliard School.
Future plans include building some really cool monster models, then blowing the crap out of them this July 4th. See you in hell, Count Dracula.
Ernie Mannix
My Mom would love to kick Bill Maher in the groin.
by Ernie MannixI would let her.
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Can you imagine Bill Maher on Omaha Beach D Day morning?
by Ernie MannixSnide-talk your way out of those 88’s Billy Boy.
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Please bite me Bill.
by Ernie Mannix5 down.
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4 beers down, 2 to go.
by Ernie MannixWife givng me the evil eye.
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Give me a Laurel and Hardy short any day.
by Ernie MannixAnd a laurel and hardy handshake.
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John Wayne would punch everyone on stage.
by Ernie MannixI heard he had to be restrained during Brando’s Wounded Knee phoney stunt. Imagine if he were in the audience today. Fill your hands you sonufa beeeotchs.
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I think:
by Ernie MannixHugh Jackman pooped his pants.
Those weren’t Goldie Hawn’s nipples, they were age spots.
Jen gave Brad the finger during the clips.
Phoenix, is now driving to the Oscars with a 45.
I will finish the 6 pack.
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Inside The Head Of President Obama
by Ernie Mannix
“Thank you members of the press. Nice to see you. I’ll have a short statement then I’ll be happy to take some questions….”
Oh-oh- teleprompter went dead. Remain calm. Smile. Make eye contact.
Why the hell are all the press naked and smoking cigarettes? ……….. David Gregory,… Hannity, and Helen Thomas?!
Wake up. (more…)
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Inside The Head Of Al Gore
by Ernie MannixFLORIDA — FLORIDA — FLORIDA - FLORIDA FLORIDA FLORIDA… Wake up.
Open eyes. Stare at the ceiling. Realize it’s getting warmer and the ice is melting little by little.
Breathe in the aroma coming from the kitchen. Something’s yummy. The chef is making Tipper and myself a terrific breakfast.
Check the clock. Oh boy, supposed to talk to Carter in a few about that salmonella peanut thing. I know there’s some warming in there somewhere. The chef’s gonna have to trash that omelet and make me a fresh one. The hell with him, I pay him damn good. (more…)
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Congratulations: URGENT RESPONSE NEEDED – Payment Notification of your UNCLAIMED STIMULUS
by Ernie MannixCongratulation:
FROM: MOST HONORABLE SPEAKOR PELOSI + ALL CONGRESS
MINSTERS FINANCIAL – WASHINGTON DC
CAPITOL BUILDING
WASHINTON DC
AMERICA
TO: ALL HONARABLE NOBLE CITIZANS OF AMERICA
RE: YOUR UNCLAIMED STIMULUS
CONGRATUALTION! On this honorable day for us, we beeseech you for the favor of your reply in kind. The time is now for your urgent action to be taken for the securing your stimulus wealth. I am mandated to make this acknowledgement officially to you by the powers and CHANGE imposed on me. (more…)
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24 Hours Apart – The Second Civil War
by Ernie MannixThe peaceful transfer of power in this country was indeed thankfully just that. Unfortunately though, it has been anything but polite or even the slightest bit classy. The rapper horror, the boos, the nasty silent welcome of a President that kept us safe since 9/11 – sadly, we have come to expect this kind of incivility from too many members of the no-shame, no-apology, no-manners bunch.
This behavior causes me to believe we are in the midst of a type of second civil war in this country. Maybe it’s a bit of a bomb throwing moniker, so choose another name – but there’s no denying that it’s a nasty war of minds, attached to mouths that spew nasty words, pumped by hearts filled with hate. The war’s small arms fire are the childish run-of-the-mill ‘Buck Fushers’ – with its big guns being judicial radicalism, tyrannical political correctness, moral relativism, and blame America first-ism. (more…)
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Bill Kristol vs. Matt Damon – The Debate Transcript
by Ernie Mannix(Third installment in the not-so-unbelievable Upside Down Bizarre World series.)
Dateline: Next Thursday.
Announcer Voice Over: Live from New York City, it’s The Bill Kristol – Matt Damon Debate, and here’s your moderator for the evening: Greg Gutfeld.
Greg Gutfeld: Hello, I’m Greg Gutfled, host of the Fox News late night show Red Eye. Tonight I am coming to you live from the stage of Town Hall here in New York City for a debate between Mr. Bill Kristol and Mr. Matt Damon. The audience has been told to hold their applause (and their privates) except for when introducing our two debaters - which happens right now! (more…)
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2013 – The Year NASA Moves to the Bay Area.
by Ernie MannixThe second installment in the not so unbelievable; ”Upside Down-Bizarre World” series.
Last month’s launch failure of the Vegan 7 from the Alcatraz launch facility was the latest of 16 straight disappointments for the United States space agency. Chief NASA administrator and former chiropractor Tammy “Sunshine” Peeks, was particularly “bummed” about the launch failure.
“Wow, we really thought we had it goin’ on…“ Peeks admits, “I mean, like we were told by our science guys that the whole baking soda and vinegar thing was happening, right? I mean, 6500 pounds of baking soda was supposed to blow it right into orbit. Crap.” (more…)
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Your Assignment: Rename Guantanamo!
by Ernie Mannix(First installment in the not so unbelievable ‘Upside Down Bizarre World’ series.)
Dateline: The Future. (Most likely spring 2012).
Yesterday morning I was awoken at 6:45 am by a call from The White House. After the initial throat- clearing lie about being awake, I gathered my wits enough to not act overly impressed or afraid. (Especially considering the recent executive order jailing Sean Hannity).
I had hoped it was from the President himself, but alas it was merely Vice President McCain’s secretary. (I still can’t get used to McCain as V.P., even this long after Leno-gate, and Biden’s subsequent resignation.)
Having done product naming in my former life as an advertising writer, I was once again asked if I would helm a small committee of creative types, who’s task would be naming the soon to open ‘Global Peace Park‘ at the former site of the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. (more…)
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Oh, Thank God, We Are Back! – (or: My Dog Goldwater)
by Ernie MannixHey, did you hear what the illustrious liberal votin’, swifty boatin,’ ketchup totin’, and just maybe (allegedly) Botox coatin’ John Kerry had to say recently? He let all of us Americans know that once Hillary ascends to the Secretary of State position it would send a strong signal throughout the world that “America is back!”
Hey, hey, Johnny, do you mean the America you tried to usher in in ‘04 is back? The wag the dog, pad with hog, class division with socialism type of America? That one? The war by polls, flag with holes type of America? The ‘blame us first, because we’re the worst’ type of America? The “I’m too cool to rhyme you with dweeb” America? (more…)
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F. Scott Fitzgerald Died Here
by Ernie MannixThe first time I read “The Great Gatsby” I was transfixed. I could not believe an ordinary man had the ability to string together passages of words that could create such beautifully vivid and everlasting images in my brain. Even after seeing the movie, the pictures painted by that man’s pencil (indeed it was a pencil) onto my brain’s canvas simply trumped screenwriter Coppola’s best effort.
I was eighteen years old and almost embarrassed at the emotion this man brought out in me through a pulpy dog-eared page in a used paperback book. That orgiastic future was where he had me heading. That green light on the dock still twinkles in the Long Island summer night’s heat, and all I need to do to see it, is think about it.
The feelings you feel when you’re eighteen seem to carve a holding place, a cup for the emotions you will feel for the rest of your life. And apart from the birth of your kids and the true love of your life nothing in adulthood seems to be as scintillating as those early romantic thoughts. For me, F. Scott Fitzgerald set the feelings bar higher than anything I’d ever experienced before on the printed page. I love the man forever, for Fitzgerald gave me some of my greatest private moments.
I am extremely happy this man has a huge Hollywood hit movie now. Yes, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” was/is a Fitzgerald short story. But when he was here in human form, Hollywood was not as kind. (more…)
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The False Hope of ‘American Idol’
by Ernie MannixWhilst basking in the creature comfort delights of their Hollywood stardom, movie stars and rock stars tend to appeal to the materialistic desires of the high school set. Kids please; think again. For every George Clooney that makes it, 10,000 Brad wannabes think: hell if he can do it, so can I. Probably not. These success stories are not the norm, kiddies, they are the mega-millions lottery winning few. Fortune and pure luck play a large role in the selection of the famous.
For every star you see on TV or in a flick, remember there are 10,000 or more with no hope of a future. “American Idol” itself serves up the false hope burger to countless teens. It’s okay if it just ends in disappointment, but the real problem is when you toss away school, and think, “It’s my destiny… I’m gonna be famous.”
In this economy kiddies, Mommy and Daddy’s credit limit might be getting a bit maxed out. So it’s time for plan “B” my young friends!
Want that new GSX for graduation? Dream on dudes! Had your heart set on the Aspen snow this season? Tough crap, Chad! How about shoveling your neighbor’s driveway for 5 bucks, Todd? That spring break vomit-fest might have to be called off this year too, Dylan!
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Eating Lunch Alone. A Republican In Hollywood.
by Ernie MannixFade In. Dolly in.
We see me, a man that serves in a important creative supporting role, seated at a meeting attended by executive powers of a most important television show. My head is down, pencil plowing away into the yellow legal pad in my lap.
The creative instructions being deftly administered by the executive powers are paused just for a moment. It’s time for the real work, for it is close to election day.
Lob. The first political volley of the morning is launched by one of the powerful ‘persons’ in the room. I keep my head down and underline several previously written sentences actually trying to remain focused on the technical task that feeds my children.
As I am underlining, I hear just about every other word of the statement, then only raise my head when the laughter starts.
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