Conservatives will start rolling their eyes early on in the new movie “Safe House.”

Denzel Washington stars as a rogue CIA agent who turns himself in to U.S. authorities, and before you can say “human rights abuse” his character undergoes a waterboarding treatment.

Had “Safe House” come out five years ago, the scene might have included jabs at the Bush administration, the War on Terror or both. Likely both. Instead, the scene arrives and leaves without any sermonizing to lessen the moment’s impact.

We’re supposed to learn that Washington’s character, the colorfully named Tobin Frost, is a certifiable bad-ass, and that the information he possesses is critically important to the story. And that’s it.

Nice.

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Oprah Winfrey has more to worry about these days than just her flailing TV network.

The former talk show queen’s self-named magazine is also suffering a significant sales drop, according to The New York Post:

Newsstand sales plunged to 413,363 copies — down 32 percent from the same period a year ago, when she was selling 608,212 copies.

Winfrey’s last syndicated talk show aired in May 2011, so while there has been some softness for the past two years, this marked the first six-month stretch with no broadcast TV exposure at all. The magazine’s total circulation was also down by 5 percent, to 2,380,782.

Combine that with the dismal ratings for OWN, Winfrey’s upstart network, and you have a picture of a media titan in trouble.

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Old franchises never die. They just get rebooted, re-imagined, re-cast or re-”Bourne.”

Matt Damon’s first two “Bourne” adventures were a breath of fresh air for a stale action genre, even if they helped bring the Shaky Cam Era into the 21st century. But that third installment, 2007’s “The Bourne Ultimatum,” made it clear the franchise needed to end.

Nuthin’ doing. Hollywood simply found a new actor to take over.

Jeremy Renner,  the steely presence in “The Town” and “The Hurt Locker,” officially becomes the face of the franchise in this summer’s “The Bourne Legacy.”

No Damon, no worries if this clip is any indication. But we’re still looking for a reason to keep the franchise alive.

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Wipe away the torrent of blood from the 2010 film “Machete” and you saw a coarse treatise on illegal immigration and those eeee-vil folks who dare to care about controlling the borders.

The film wasn’t a flop, but its $26 million haul hardly screamed “franchise.” Yet a sequel is on the way all the same, but this time it looks like we’ll see more of Machete the killing machine and less obtuse political content.

Deadline.com:

The new film finds Machete recruited by the U.S. Government for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man. Machete must battle his way through Mexico to take down a madman cartel leader and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war across the planet with a weapon in space. Machete takes on an army in an effort to dismantle a plan for global anarchy.

“Machete” writer/producer Robert Rodriguez is one of the more pragmatic talents in Hollywood. His early claim to fame was making “El Mariachi” for a measly $7,000. Since then, he’s wisely concentrated on keeping his budgets relatively low and ensuring a decent return on investment for his projects. It’s clear he still has a grasp for the bottom line.

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The NFL blamed NBC for allowing video of singer M.I.A. flashing her middle finger to be seen by 111.3 million viewers on Sunday’s Super Bowl broadcast. NBC, in turn, blamed the NFL for hiring the talent behind the incident.

Stuart Katz, an adjunct professor at Seton Hall University’s Department of Strategic Communication, said all the finger pointing over the offending digit misses the target.

“It shouldn’t have happened, and it didn’t have to happen,” says Katz, who has been working on live broadcast sporting events like The Olympics since 1978.

“The reality is somebody has to operate the technology. No technology recognizes an obscene gesture,” Katz told Big Hollywood. “That halftime show was rehearsed repeatedly … that reinforces the concept that it didn’t have to happen that way.”

Katz says it was likely human error responsible for the gaffe, adding that it’s improbable the equipment tasked with blurring an offensive image suddenly malfunctioned during showtime.

“They were supposed to blur the picture or at least cut to the wide shot in time… they didn’t do it fast enough … or somebody wasn’t watching,” he says.

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The Onion is at it again.

Rather than trying to spoof, mock or even gently tease President Barack Obama–the man who actually holds the highest office in the land–the paper is targeting the administration’s out-of-power critics.

The Onion’s latest Obama humor article taunts those who note how a leader who rails against the rich routinely enjoys the perks that come with his wealth, power and status:

Obama Criticized For Living In Lavish Mansion While Most Americans Struggle To Make Ends Meet

WASHINGTON—Over the past three years, as the sluggish economy has forced many Americans to tighten their belts, President Obama has reportedly enjoyed a lavish personal lifestyle, residing with his family in a 132-room house staffed by a 24-hour security detail, five full-time chefs, and a live-in maid service.

In recent weeks, many of the president’s critics have seized upon the issue, arguing that anyone who sleeps in a sprawling six-level neoclassical mansion covering 18 acres of Washington, D.C.’s most valuable real estate is clearly out of touch with the lives of ordinary citizens.

You see, those silly Obama critics will attack poor Barack on just about any charge. So we should simply ignore them, right?

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No wardrobe malfunction interrupted this Super Bowl Halftime Show.

Madonna, the 50-something shock singer, kept it mostly clean during her Super Bowl performance Sunday. She flashed a tiny amount of thigh and flirted harmlessly with some of her male dance squad, but that was about it. She left the skin-baring chores to the hulking gladiator types around the stage.

The only tension came from guest singer M.I.A. who appeared to flash the middle finger at the end of one of Madonna’s highly choreographed numbers.

The Material Girl meshed flawlessly with the typically over-produced halftime show segment, belting out a barrage of her greatest hits as well as her new single, “Give Me All Your Lovin.’” She kicked off the set singing “Vogue” while dressed as a quasi-Egyptian songstress. At times she appeared as stiff as one of those Egyptian paintings.

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Jerrol LeBaron didn’t bother to interview any lawmakers for his new documentary “Fools on the Hill.”

The film calls out politicians for routinely passing legislation, sometimes at a feverish clip, they haven’t so much as read. LeBaron thought it was foolish to bother asking them why they behaved in such a fashion.

“I judge an organization or a person by their actions and results, not by what they say,” LeBaron tells Big Hollywood. “The only reason to pass a law is to fix something, and they aren’t even looking at the problem … I could care less what they think.”

LeBaron serves as the Michael Moore-esque hero of “Hill,” an Everyman trying to drum up support for a bill that would require politicians to read new legislation before voting on it. We see LeBaron schlepping across North Dakota to convince people that his proposal will bring accountability to Congress. LeBaron’s mission would also allow for the public dissemination of future bills online so Americans can see what’s about to be considered.

It’s a truly nonpartisan affair. LeBaron doesn’t pick an ideological side in the film, and his roster of talking heads includes figures from the Left – Ed Begley, Jr. – as well as the Right – conservative talker Rick Amato.

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The new horror film “The Woman in Black” does just about everything right.

The setting is true-blue gothic down to the creaky mansion at the heart of the story. Star Daniel Radcliffe looks appropriately 19th century as the film’s worried lead. And director James Watkins, who previously gave us the terrific shocker “Eden Lake,” knows how to tease out every quivering shadow in the house.

But frankly we’ve seen it all before. The haunted house genre desperately needs a rest.

Let’s break down the shocks in “Woman” to better see what the problem is. Radcliffe’s character spends one very long sequence in the ghostly house in question. He sees shadows moving out of the corner of his eye, hears children’s toys whir into life even though no one is there to wind them up and catches glimpses of ghostly faces in window panes.

Seasoned horror fans will see just about every “scare” coming our way. And that’s because movie ghosts act in such predictable fashion.

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“The Theatre Bizarre” arrives as the second new horror anthology in the past few months, and thank the cinematic gods it isn’t as disastrous as its predecessor, “Chillerama.”

That misfire tweaked old school horror to calamitous effect, but “Bizarre” has no allegiance to any period or sub-genre. It’s all about making you squirm in your seat, and on that unambitious level gets the job done. Anyone eager to see gratuitous gore and copious nudity will also stand up and cheer. Those eager for storytelling nuance will find only scraps to feast upon.

The film gathers six short horror films and wraps them around the tale of a woman who wanders into a movie house to find a most unsettling show about to begin. She witnesses a stage full of quasi-humanoids more gears and metal than human. They’re uniquely creepy, and during the weakest segments of “Bizarre” you’ll wish the film would hurry up and get them back on the screen.

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Typically when you see a blue helmet on the big screen it means the UN is coming to the rescue.

That’s why they call Hollywood the Dream Factory, one supposes.

In “The Whistleblower,” the UN is part of a nasty racket covering up sexual abuse in war-torn Bosnia. The film, now available on Blu-ray and DVD, is based on Nebraska cop turned whistleblower Kathryn Bolkovac’s revelations about the UN peacekeepers’ monstrous behavior.

Yes, the film implicates the private security firm working alongside UN officials, but it does so in a matter of fact fashion rarely seen in politically charged films. And best of all is how star Rachel Weisz makes the lead character’s plight worth our admiration without any sanctimonious speeches to overrule our emotions.

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“Gasland” director Josh Fox got arrested yesterday for trying to film a fracking-related hearing on the Hill without permission.

Fox quickly blasted the GOP lawmakers who voted to have Fox and his film crew ejected from the hearing. Democrats quickly aligned themselves with Fox, whose celebrated 2010 documentary argued that natural gas drilling practices aren’t environmentally safe.

It turns out Fox didn’t mind a heaping helping of censorship when it involved a fellow filmmaker who dared to question his findings.

Phelim McAleer, a Big Hollywood contributor and muckraking video journalist, challenged some of the charges Fox made in his film last summer at a public event. When McAleer tried to post video of the exchange on YouTube Fox used legal means to have the clip taken down. When McAleer tried to put the clip on another popular video site, Vimeo.com, Fox once again used legal pressure to keep the exchange off the web.

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Mark Mathis admits everything he used to know about oil came from the mainstream media.

“Ten years ago I was like most Americans. I didn’t know anything about energy, didn’t think about it, took it for granted. It never crossed my mind,” Mathis says.

Mathis’ re-education began when he took a gig with an oil and gas trading group’s media team. n 2002 The job required intensive research into the product in question – oil – which led to some remarkable discoveries.

“I was 40 and had been pretty successful in life. I thought I was a pretty smart guy,” he recalls. “I couldn’t believe I could get to that age and not even think about how dothings work.”

Mathis is the director of “SpOILed,” a new documentary debunking popular myths about the oil industry. The movie explores why politicians prevent oil drilling in various areas across the U.S., shares how alternate energy sources remain far behind the more practical oil reserves and deplores how the media refuses to honestly discuss energy issues.

It’s a shot across the bow of most film documentaries which either target oil companies (“The Big Fix”) or sing the praises of green technology (“Revenge of the Electric Car”).

Mathis’ first taste of the film business came with “Expelled,” the Ben Stein documentary about Intelligent Design. He went from helping out the film’s crew on a fairly casual basis to being more hands-on than he expected. And when Mathis shared some of what he had learned about oil to “Expelled’s” writer during that film’s production, the idea for “SpOILed” came into focus.

If “SpOILed” debunks just one media meme, Mathis hopes it’s the notion that we can move away from oil in the near future.

If only that were the case.

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Writer/director David M. Rosenthal had already connected with his estranged daughter by the time it came to shoot his deeply personal new film, “Janie Jones.”

Making a semi-autobiographical tale of a singer confronted with the daughter he didn’t know he had helped complete Rosenthal’s real-life healing process.

“It was hugely cathartic for me. I’m so glad to have it done it,” Rosenthal tells Big Hollywood of the personal film project. “It brought us together on a whole different level …. I wanted to do it for me and for my daughter.”

“Janie Jones,” out on DVD today, follows a selfish rock star (Allesandro Nivola, “Junebug”) who learns he’s the father of a 13-year-old girl named Janie Jones (Abigail Breslin). The girl’s junkie mom (Elisabeth Shue) deposits her in his care while she heads to rehab. That forces the distracted rocker to care for his daughter while trying to hold his struggling band together.

No, Rosenthal isn’t a hard-charging musician, but the story’s themes clearly mirror his own life. He just made sure “Janie Jones” didn’t shadow reality too closely.

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The 2010 presidential election tome “Game Change” recalled the battle between Sens. John McCain and Barack Obama for the Oval Office.

The HBO movie version is all about McCain’s Vice Presidential candidate, Sarah Palin. And, if this early peek is any indication, conservatives can expect a feature-length assault on the Tea Party darling.

The first full trailer for the movie, debuting March 10 on HBO, backloads the Palin bashing. We get a respectful treatment of Sen. McCain (ably reproduced by Ed Harris) and Woody Harrelson playing McCain’s campaign chair Steve Schmidt. Then we meet Sarah, and right away it’s clear that actress Julianne Moore hasn’t captured Palin’s charisma or personal pluck.

Heck, even Tina Fey’s excoriating impression of the self-described Hockey Mom had more clarity.

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The trailer for 2011’s”Dream House” seemed to give away more than most movie snippets. That could be why “Dream House,” out Jan. 31 on Blu-ray and DVD, ended up making less than half its estimated budget.

The film doesn’t deserve a rebirth on home video. The story is difficult to swallow, and thrillers need far more shocks than the few doled out here. But star Daniel Craig invests so much in the main character that you’ll keep watching just to see how the tortured story resolves.

Craig plays Will Atenton, a writer who leaves his posh publishing gig to write the next great American novel — or British novel, perhaps, given his plummy accent.

Will retreats to his family’s snow-kissed home and a wife (Rachel Weisz) and two daughters who look like they sneaked out of a ’50s family sitcom.

It’s all too bloody perfect, and soon we’ll see why.

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American culture allows comedians of color to say things white comedians can’t.

That helped propel Richard Pryor into the comedy stratosphere and made Chris Rock one of the most incisive commentators on modern living during the early 2000s.

Enter “Key & Peele,” the new Comedy Central series debuting at 10:30 p.m. EST tonight. Biracial comedians Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele share their mixed race ancestry in the show’s opening monologue, the kind of refreshing banter that’s immediately open and funny. The exchange doesn’t feel cobbled together by a team of writers trying way too hard to be casual.

It’s one of the best features of the new show, a program which proves both Key and Peele belong in the sketch comedy trenches – each already paid their dues on both “MADtv” and the short-lived “Chocolate News.” They’re naturals on screen, relaxed and compelling even when they’re just swapping stories.

“On a daily basis we have to adjust our blackness,”  Key says before Peele finishes, “to terrify white people.”

Normally, the pair “sound whiter than Mitt Romney in a snow storm,” Peele adds.

The premiere episode mixes the kind of material you might find on any other sketch show with bits given an edge by their heritage. That edge vanishes when the duo take on the first black president.

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Comedian Demetri Martin needs to hear the roar of a crowd but not for any ego-stroking purposes.

Martin recalls spending five months on the set of the 2010 Ang Lee drama “Taking Woodstock.” That’s the longest he’s been away from the stage since starting his stand-up career, and he spent much of his down time on set scribbling new material for his act.

When he finally got back before a microphone he found his audience tuned out most of the fresh gags.

“So few of them worked,” Martin tells Big Hollywood. “Not having regular access to stand-up audiences [hurt me]. I can’t do it without a crowd.”

Martin won’t have to worry about ring rust this winter. He’s currently on the road with his “Telling Jokes in Cold Places 2012 Tour” which runs through Feb. 18 in New York City where he’ll be taping a new hour-long stand-up special for Comedy Central.

The former law student is known for his arid dry wit, Gary Larson-esque sketches and shrewd observations. Think a boyish Steven Wright but with far greater range and a less passive aggressive bent. He also avoids the kind of R-rated humor that fuels most comedians’ routines.

Martin recently headlined the Comedy Central series “Important Things with Demetri Martin” and spent time as a correspondent for “The Daily Show.” Last year saw Martin co-starring in the Steven Soderbergh thriller “Contagion,” publishing his first comedy tome (“This is a Book”) and prepping a new animated series for Fox.

Now, he’s luxuriating in the world of stand-up comedy and trying not to let success rush to his head.

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It’s unfair to hold Woody Allen to the standard he set 35 years ago with “Annie Hall.”

Allen’s romantic comedy, which beat out “Star Wars” for the Best Picture Oscar in 1977, remains an unabashed delight in its newly minted Blu-ray format. You’ll fall in love with Miss La-dee-dah herself, Diane Keaton, and marvel how Allen could smuggle in so many laughs without sacrificing the film’s bittersweet core.

It’s that rare comedy that hasn’t aged a minute, even if we still scratch our heads over why a stunner like Annie would fall so hard for a neurotic comedian.

What’s more remarkable about re-watching the film is seeing how Allen the artist handled the political divide then … and now.

In “Annie Hall,” Allen’s Alvy Singer is a liberal stand-up comic who is seen at one point performing for an Adlai Stevenson fundraiser. It’s clear from that sequence, and from other stream-of-conscious bits, that he’s a man of the Left. Yet Alvy never rubs us the wrong way no matter how he kevetches about his inability to be truthful to his girlfriends or his unabiding hate for the Left Coast.

Contrast that demeanor to two of Allen’s more recent films, “Whatever Works” and “Midnight in Paris.”

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Writer/director Bobcat Goldthwait walked a gossamer-thin line with the excellent 2009 comedy “World’s Greatest Dad.”

How many auteurs could spin gold out of a father profiting off the accidental suicide of his son?

The “Police Academy” alum will have to be even more delicate with his upcoming film, “God Bless America.” (Warning: Attached trailer is the red band version meant for mature audiences).

The coal black comedy stars Joel Murray (“One Crazy Summer”) as a fed-up consumer who takes action against our debasing pop culture. Think trashy celebrities, sexually voracious reality show stars and the like.

Easy pickings, no doubt. But sometimes it’s impossible to parody material as over the top as Maury Povich, “Jersey Shore” or any “Real Housewives” scratch-a-thon. And the clip, while humorous at times, hints of the same faux civility debate the Left manufactured to silence dissent in the wake of the 2011 Tucson shooting. We also get a Fox News-like bit where a host paints President Barack Obama as a Nazi.

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