It’s Halloween, and that means it’s time to trick-or-treat or attend costume parties or seek out a local haunted house.  But for me, it’s hard to find a better haunted house than my plasma TV.

I was a bit of a fraidy-cat when I was a kid.  I used to sleepwalk after seeing scary movies, or if that didn’t happen, I would awake-walk into my parents’ room for a hug from Mom.   In order to confront that embarrassing—if amusing—childhood demon, I became a bit of a horror buff.  Hopefully my pain is your gain.

Five Movies to Watch This Halloween

“Return of the Living Dead” (1985)
In this “cult classic,” a group of punk rock-loving teens venture out to pick up a friend from his job at a medical supply shop in Louisville, Kentucky.  When a foreman opens up a military drum that was accidentally sent to the shop—which, oh-by-the-way has an UNDEAD BODY IN IT!!—all zombie-hell breaks loose.

The film is genuinely funny, has a couple of good scares, and a rockin’ soundtrack, but it also injected life into the genre because all the zombies run (fast!) and most of them talk.  Like this one:

Doesn’t she look familiar?  Check out this zombie from “The Walking Dead.”

The B-plot, featuring an Army Colonel on a mysterious, tedious, yet seemingly extremely important mission, is tied up brilliantly in the frightening, apocalyptic conclusion.

But what really puts this film over the top is that it features the best zombie of all time, Tarman.  Gruesome, evil, and with just the right amount of camp, the zombie that first exclaimed “BRRAAAAAIIIIINNNNSS!!” before chowing down on the cerebral cortex of some young punk deserves a place in cinematic lore. (more…)

For the last couple days we’ve run several posts reporting on Sony Picture’s apparent decision to make a $50M+ soft money contribution to the Obama campaign a month prior to election day in the form of a Mark Boal/Kathryn Bigelow bin Laden movie.  The screenwriter/director tandem previously teamed up for the repetitive and subtly anti-military “Hurt Locker,” which won numerous Academy Awards despite not having a plot and pulling in a total gross domestic box office roughly equivalent to the opening weekend of “Confessions of a Shopaholic.”

But this isn’t Sony Picture’s only effort to subvert common decency that’s making headlines this week.  Their new film “30 Minutes or Less” is brewing up some controversy of its own.  From the Associated Press (emphasis mine):

PITTSBURGH (AP) – The family of an Erie pizza delivery driver killed eight years ago won’t be among those in line when the comedy “30 Minutes Or Less” opens nationwide Friday.

Brian Wells died when a time bomb collar he was forced to wear exploded after he robbed a bank. The movie plot features a pizza driver forced to rob a bank while wearing a time bomb vest. A spokesman for Sony’s Columbia TriStar Motion Picture group says the filmmakers and stars knew nothing about the Wells case, though he acknowledges the screenwriters were vaguely familiar with it.

The screenwriters haven’t responded to requests for comment through their agent.

Jean Heid of Erie is Wells’ sister. She says the movie isn’t funny—whether or not it’s based on her brother’s death.

Now that you know that the screenwriters (IMDB lists them Michael Dilibert and Matthew Sullivan) of this goofball buddy comedy starring Danny McBride (but I repeat myself) were inspired by pain and suffering inflicted on one man and his loved ones, watch the preview (above) again.  Go ahead.

Pretty messed up, right? (more…)

In many ways “Friends with Benefits” is akin to a reboot of “No Strings Attached,” which came out just a few months ago, and that’s good news for conservative moviegoers.  Like “No Stings,” “FWB,” which stars the magnetic Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, ultimately arrives at the conclusion that sexual relationships are apt to get very complicated very quickly and have the tendency to materialize into love.  Or tears.

—–

However, this rule doesn’t really apply when it comes to gay men.  A greater percentage of male/male relationships (compared to male/female or female/female) can be purely sexual without any “strings attached,” and, to the filmmakers’ credit, that nuance is not lost in “Friends with Benefits.”  Woody Harrelson, who is very funny as an over-the-top gay character, offers this wisdom.  But the ideas that “monogamy is against our nature” and casual sex comes with negligible emotional and physical baggage–particularly when there’s a woman in the equation–has been roundly rebuked in recent years and Hollywood romantic comedies deserve a lot of the credit.

There are even a few jokes that specifically target liberals: Kunis refers to hybrid cars and local/organic/sustainable food as “bullshit” on separate occasions and Harrelson says that “no one wants to fuck Obama” because his ears are too big.  For years romantic comedies have been a haven for conservative moviegoers because they tend to glorify monogamy as opposed to loveless sex.  But now they’re also subjecting liberals to the types of barbs right-of-center folk have endured for decades!? Could Hollywood finally be turning a corner?  With the advent of new media, conservatives finally have had a megaphone to complain about these digs that typically only go in one direction (ours).  Maybe it’s having an effect! (more…)

One year ago today John Nolte reported in this space that “Captain America: The First Avenger” director Joe Johnston said the film based on the legendary comic book hero is “not about America,” and I can finally confirm that he spoke the truth.  The $140 million blockbuster, which opens at midnight, is not anti-American–it’s even kinda pro-American–but if you’re looking for that rare film that surrenders itself to the reality of American exceptionalism, don’t let the title fool you.  Johnston describes the latest from the summer movie factory that is Marvel Studios best: “It’s an international cast and an international story. It’s about what makes America great and what make the rest of the world great too.”   Now, I’m very much relieved that it’s now okay to call America “great” in Hollywood, but as far as “Captain America: The First Avenger” is concerned, self-conscious pandering to multi-cultural feel-goodism combined with some unambitious storytelling makes for an unsatisfying movie-going experience.

—–

“Captain America: The First Avenger” is set in the latter half of World War II.  The action begins with a scrawny Steve Rogers (a digitally depreciated Chris Evans) doing everything he can to enlist in the U.S. Army.  Rogers has all kinds of heart, but he’s gaunt and is thus 4-F.  The plot turns when an impassioned speech to a friend (“There are men laying down their lives.  I have no right to do any less than them.”) catches the ear of Dr. Abraham Erskine (a very Stanley Tucci Stanley Tucci).  Erskine is a German scientist who is working with the U.S. Army to develop a Super Solider Serum–the ultimate performance enhancing drug–and is on the lookout for a test subject.  The serum amplifies what’s inside of you, so someone of Rogers’ size and character makes him the perfect candidate for this breakthrough procedure.  Erskine and engineer Howard Stark (father of Tony) put Rogers in what looks like a retro-50s refrigerator, crank up the dials until all the power in the building short-circuits, and out comes this guy: (more…)

If someone told you that Roseanne Barr had a new 16-episode reality show focusing on her “new life on a macadamia nut farm on the Big Island of Hawaii,” you’d probably think they were yanking your chain.

And you’d be wrong.  From Newsweek:

The 58-year-old comedian is launching a 16-episode reality series, Roseanne’s Nuts, on Lifetime on Wednesday. It shows her new life on a macadamia nut farm on the Big Island of Hawaii, which she bought in 2007 and moved to fulltime last year. She lives with her boyfriend of eight years, Johnny Argent, and teenaged Buck, with her adult children and grandchildren around, too. They’re all on the show, which Barr said is like “Larry David meets reality.” Meaning, it’s not exactly reality? “It’s based in reality,” she said. “But it’s funny. It’s not the Kardashians.”

It’s long been said that reality is stranger than fiction, but reality television might be stranger still.  Big Hollywood readers probably would agree that Roseanne is just about the last person they would want watch star in a reality show, but if those nauseating “Real Housewives” are any indication, the crazier you are, the better chance you have at pulling in an audience.

There’s nothing in the Newsweek piece–needless to say–to suggest the magazine or Lifetime had any issues with a recent photo shoot of Roseanne’s where she dressed as Hitler and ate burnt “Jew cookies,” but Newsweek did make sure to get Roseanne’s take on Michele Bachmann: (more…)

Anyone who caught “Real Time” this past weekend got to enjoy some great television.  Much like the boss (and much unlike your average buttoned-up conservative), Ann Coulter thrives in a political environment where there’s an emphasis on entertainment, humor, and thinking on your feet.  If you’ve read her books or seen enough of her speeches and media appearances, you know she’s easily funnier than you average Hollywood or New York “comedian.”

Credit where it’s due, as usual, to Maher and co. for having her on.  “Real Time” continues to be the only liberal-leaning late-night current events/comedy show eager to engage articulate conservative commentators.

Here are some highlights, starting with Coulter telling MSNBC’s Chris Hayes that his mother, who has a government job, “is a drain on society”:

Next is a long chunk of the round-table discussion where Maher and Coulter’s sardonic repartee takes center-stage.  This is an act they could take on the road (UPDATE: Apparently they have):

(more…)

Good piece today by Christian Toto in the Washington Times on Woody Allen’s critical darling “Midnight in Paris.”  I found the film to be quite the disappointment; as Toto notes, Allen takes a bludgeon to America and the Tea Party, but more irritating still is that–aside from the eye candy–the movie is basically one joke repeated over and over from beginning to end.  Aside from a couple of very funny scenes with the talented Michael Sheen, the premise runs thin within the first 45 minutes.  The payoff is also a letdown.  Furthermore, the pompous underlying theme is that Allen equates today’s crop of artists with history’s all-time greats.  Is Allen subtly suggesting he is the Hemingway or Fitzgerald of our time?  Well, he’s not not suggesting it.

[I]n finding artistic and commercial renewal across the pond, Mr. Allen often has flattered European vanities by ogling the sights of their storied capitals with his camera. Unfortunately, in “Midnight,” he also has pandered to European stereotypes of the Ugly American.

[...]

The cross-cultural comedy concerns a burned out Hollywood screenwriter named Gil (Owen Wilson) who hopes a trip to France will inspire him to finish his novel. Gil fantasizes about Paris in the 1920s, a time when artistic giants such as Ernest Hemingway, Cole Porter and F. Scott Fitzgerald roamed its streets.

One mysterious car ride later, Gil finds himself magically transported back to the Lost Generation golden age of his daydreams.

“Midnight in Paris” taps into a timeless American attraction to the City of Light as a cultural beacon, a place even ordinary artists can visit and emerge reborn. Throughout the film, Mr. Allen treats the city’s creative minds, native and transient alike, as intellectual titans.

(more…)

Below is the recently released teaser-trailer for the Margaret Thatcher biopic, “The Iron Lady.”  The Weinstein Co’s film comes out in January 2012 and has Oscar-bait written all over it.

We don’t see Meryl Streep (as Thatcher) for over half of this minute-long clip, but when we do, we learn that Streep’s Thatcher will be funny and good-natured but capable of having the upper hand in a confrontation with men who are trying to coach (manipulate?) her.  Based on this teaser, we can assume Streep will be portraying the former U.K. Prime Minister as an amiable leader, but potentially an intellectual light-weight.

Streep does a bit of her signature over-acting here, even employing the canine head tilt that reminds me of Michael Myers in “Halloween,” but she certainly looks the part.

Nonetheless, the trailer is intriguing.  Now if only the fact that the script smells like a hit job didn’t ruin it.

The write-up from YouTube got me thinkin’…

The Iron Lady: Tells the story of a woman who smashed through the barriers of gender and class to be heard in a male-dominated world. The story concerns power and the price that is paid for power, and is a surprising and insightful portrait of an extraordinary and complex woman.

Can you think of an American politician who might one day fit this description...? Can you…? (more…)

One news item that was mostly lost in the holiday weekend shuffle was that the Los Angeles Police Department has solicited celebrities to use twitter to spread the word about the closure of a prominent freeway.  The story was already pretty funny, then Kim Kardashian tweeted the wrong information… twice.  From Fox News:

What did California law enforcement expect when they enlisted celebrities to help warn the public of the impending closure of a major freeway?

Probably not this.

Kim Kardashian, one of several celebrities with Twitter followings in the millions, was asked by the L.A.P.D to warn her followers of the impending highway closure.

Kardashian complied, tweeting on Friday: “Remember this weekend the 405 Fwy is gonna be closed between the San Fernando Valley and the West Side!!”

Just one problem. The closure is in two weeks.

So the “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” star tried to correct her mistake, tweeting: “Remember next weekend the 405 Fwy is gonna be closed between the San Fernando Valley and the West Side!!”

Wrong again.

Kardashian erased both initial Twitter messages and finally got it right: “Stay away from the 405 Fwy the weekend of July 16 & 17, it will be closed btwn the 10 Fwy and 101 Fwy North & South!”

Oh. My. Gawd.

My data isn’t fresh on this, but there was a time not long ago where the stretch of 405 freeway between the 10 and 101 was the single most trafficked road in the United States.  Shutting that down for a couple of days is like blocking off L.A.’s pulmonary artery; it just can’t function without it.  So, if the city is going to try to temporarily block it off, they can’t afford any mistakes. (more…)

Latest strategy: x-ray Bachmann’s ass to prove it’s real.

Comedians are free to joke about what they want, but does anyone else find it creepy that David Letterman, of all people, is making sexual jokes about a sitting congresswoman?  After all, it was just two years ago that we learned Letterman had been bedding members of his staff in a secret bedroom above the Ed Sullivan Theater.  I’m not really sure why anyone would find this x-ray line funny in the first place (though I get what he intended), but even if they did, doesn’t the fact that it emanated from Letterman’s pervy mouth turn the “ewww” factor up just a little too high?

Letterman has the aura of a misogynist FM radio shock jock–the type of guy you wouldn’t want near your kids–and nothing illustrates this more clearly than a depraved joke about a female public servant who happens to be highly educated and a mother of twenty-eight (including twenty-three foster kids). (more…)

Many on the left would have you believe that the world hates America, but I humbly disagree.  An alternative school of thought–one to which I subscribe–is that the world’s left hates America.  That’s a lot of people, to be sure, but they don’t speak for everyone.  Also, saying the world “hates” us is probably a bit too strong; more accurate would likely be that the world is “super jealous” of America.  They’re not jealous of everything, of course, but it gets under the “world community’s” collective skin that we have have enough wealth and freedom to build and play with all the toys we want and enough power to clean up human garbage around the globe whenever we damn well please.  Needless to say, a country spending billions upon billions on technology to create the most bad-ass military on the planet will not sit well with your typical pacifist lefty “citizen of the world.”  But your typical pacifist lefty “citizen of the world” does not your average superhero movie fan make.

The Hollywood Reporter informs that Marvel Studios and Paramount have elected to keep “Captain America” in the title of their upcoming blockbuster in all but three countries (see below).  The Reporter notes that the decisions to keep the U.S. title were likely made based on the fact that Captain America is a universally recognized brand.  That’s true, but so is the United States of America.  America is the world’s sole military super power and Captain America is known for being a patriotic symbol.  No matter what you think of this nation of ours, if there are some bad guys who need their teeth kicked in, the world knows where to turn.  In other words, if it’s called “Captain America,” you know we mean business.

Here’s to hoping Hollywood did the American hero–and now the world–justice.

Captain America hits theaters July 22nd.

From the Hollywood Reporter:

Marvel Studios and Paramount’s Captain America: The First Avenger will keep its US title in all but three countries: Russia, Ukraine and South Korea.

Though it is common for American blockbusters to feature less US-focused titles in foreign markets, Paramount largely decided against the alterations for Captain America, and instead gave foreign countries the choice of two titles, Captain America: The First Avenger or The First Avenger.

Interestingly, most international distributors believed the franchise name was so identifiable that not using “Captain America” in the title could risk losing ticket sales. (more…)

To understand if a person or group is on the left or the right, look no further than what outrages them.  If you’re offended by how much tax revenue is squandered year after year, you’re probably on the right; if you are ticked off at the “rich” for not paying their “fair share,” you lean left.  If you have a strong urge to kill or capture evildoers around the world, you’re likely conservative; but if you’re irate that detainees might be water-boarded, safe money is you’re lefty.  If you drive home in your Toyota Prius to pop a Big Pharma-produced Lexapro that gives you just enough vitality to take your ungrateful kids to the Starbucks for a Java Chip Frappuccino®… only to lecture them on the evils of the corporations once you get there, there’s a good chance you’re left-wing.  But if you love capitalism… you get my point.

What inspires your ire tips your hand–politically speaking–and a sanctimonious editorial on Tracy Morgan in yesterday’s Los Angeles Times tells you all you need to know about the staff of SoCal’s leading paper.

For those of you who dropped out of society for the past week, the synopsis is that during a stand-up comedy routine in Nashville, Morgan, of “SNL” and “30 Rock” fame, joked that he would stab his son if he used a “gay voice.”  Word got out and all hell broke loose.  The twitterverse was outraged, celebrities clamored to condemn the comment, and Morgan eventually delivered the obligatory pandering over-apology replete with a commitment to partner with America’s most ironically named advocacy organization: GLAAD.

The story is a social justice cliché.

The courageous editors at the Los Angeles Times joined the fray yesterday, unloading a bold op-ed stating Morgan had crossed the line: (more…)

[CONTENT WARNING: This post contains harsh language.]

In December of last year I wrote a post entitled “Meet Whitney Cummings: Up-and-Coming Comic Who Steals Jokes about Handicapped Babies.”  The gist of it is that at a roast for Quentin Tarantino at the New York Friars’ Club, the comedienne had this to say about Sarah Palin and her son Trig, who suffers from Down syndrome:

[Tarantino has] produced more retarded things than Sarah Palin’s vagina.

Regarding her choice of targets, I summed it up this way:

Who is the butt of this joke? A toddler who suffers from down-syndrome and the mother that chose not to destroy him while he was in the womb. Yikes. Regarding Trig: Lay. Off. The. Kids. Okay? Regarding Mama Palin: Is it possible to write a more obvious joke on a more obvious target? I’m sure Ms. Cummings fancies herself irreverent; what would be truly irreverent is if she would harness a little of that hate that dwells in her dreary heart and direct it toward someone who is actually in power. Here are some possible targets she may want to consider: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, or Joe Biden (notice how I’m not mentioning Obama’s children?). If she insists on resorting to humor that’s main attribute is shock-value, why not try a target that might actually shock someone?

What makes this joke even more embarrassing for one of the comedy world’s rising stars is that Cummings had stolen the hideous one-liner, as I explain in the post.

Yet, Cummings’ comedy has apparently struck the fancy of executives at NBC and CBS, as both networks have readied TV shows with her for this upcoming season.  First, she’s the star, writer, creator, and executive producer of the NBC sitcom “Whitney,” set to premiere in September. Here’s a preview:

“I love you so much, I’m not going to marry you.” Wow.  Not only is she funny and attractive, she’s so progressive.  As you might have been able to guess, the buzz on this one is bad… very bad. (more…)

If you scroll down just a few short inches, you’ll see a thoughtful review of Lady Gaga’s recently released album by Ezra Dulis. We’re sincerely grateful Mr. Dulis not only endured multiple-listens to the latest queen of pop’s faux-edgy anti-religious lyrics and canned Madonna-esque electronica, but he assessed it in a far more sophisticated way than either of the editors of this site could.

In the midst of a Lady Gaga media barrage that includes a piece in Forbes naming her the most powerful celebrity, it’s only fitting that the two finalists for “American Idol” season 10 have practically nothing in common with her. I have only watched “American Idol” sporadically since the first season, but I have long defended it as a very special show. It’s competition in as pure a form imaginable and the American people democratically choose who they want to win.  That’s a thing of beauty.

At this point we don’t know who will be tops this season, Lauren Alaina or Scotty McCreery, but one thing we know for sure is that the winner will be a country artist.

“Idol” finalists Lauren Alaina and Scotty McCreery

So while Lady Gaga continues to grab headlines with her cheap-trick glam-bisexual-protest-blasphemy pop, America is choosing between two aspiring country artists to be their “Idol” for this year.

I guess this is Middle America’s not-so-subtle way of reminding the coasts it might be a good idea to keep “flyover country” in mind when they’re producing entertainment for mass consumption.

From the New York Post:

Just a few months ago, the producers of “American Idol” declared that this would be the season they dragged the aging goliath into the future.

With ratings sagging over the past few years and its winners finding it increasingly difficult to sell records, “Idol” was in need of a dramatic reboot.

“Maybe it’s like a diva, maybe it’s more like Lady Gaga,” Randy Jackson mused about the type of star he hoped would emerge. “Maybe it’s Muse, Bono or Brandon Flowers of the Killers.”

Now, at the season’s end, with “Idol’s” first all-country finale on tap, the “c” word — for contemporary — is not much heard.

(more…)

UPDATE: To his credit, Mr. Roeper printed a gracious correction today. — 4/19/11

Famous film critic Richard Roeper tee’d off on Andrew Breitbart in his Sun-Times column today.  Here’s the passage:

Here’s ultraconservative activist Andrew Breitbart at a Tea Party rally in Wisconsin last Saturday, with a message for pro-union forces that had shown up:

“The Tea Party has been the most peaceful, law-abiding . . . group in the history of American protest. . . . You have no right to lecture us on civility. You have no right to lecture us on language. . . . Go to hell! No, serious. Go to hell! Go to hell! You’ve been so rude, you’re trying to divide America. . . .”

Right. And telling people to go to hell because you disagree with their politics isn’t divisive at all. That’s an instant classic of hypocrisy and a breathtaking lack of self-awareness right there.

Then again, this is the same Andrew Breitbart who went on Twitter in the hours after Ted Kennedy’s death to call Kennedy a “villain,” a “duplicitous bastard” and a “prick,” so he’s well-qualified to tell others they can’t lecture him about civility.

Roeper walked into two Breitbart traps in less than 200 words.  Can you identify what they are?

The first one is that Breitbart didn’t tell the union protesters to “go to hell” because he disagreed with their politics, but because he considered their tactics reprehensible.  Breitbart explained this in the column he posted following the rally. Simply take a look at the full context of the speech.

Here are some examples of the incivility Breitbart may have had in mind:

Note the attempt to drown out the rally with vuvuzelas and the WalkerHitler sign. (more…)

File this one in the “losing” category.  From James Hibberd at Entertainment Weekly:

Charlie Sheen unleashed his Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour on the Motor City on Saturday night before a crowd that greeted the actor with an adoring standing ovation and concluded with booing and walk-outs.

[…]

9:18 – “Nothing terrifies a troll more than its own reflection,” Sheen continues, before shifting gears into politics. “In a recent poll, they told me I’d bring down that whore [Sarah] Palin. I don’t have time for that nonsense.” [Read about the poll he's referring to here.]

9:20 — People start booing Sheen. Not playing around, but actually booing him. Sheen yells, “I already got your money, dude!”

Until this point, the libertarian in me was truly pulling for Sheen to continue sticking it to the Hollywood Man and fulfilling his own personal definition of #WINNING.  Sheen has probably been “banging” cocaine and porn stars for a couple of decades now, and the fact that it became an international crisis all of a sudden still strikes me as a bit unfair.  We all can imagine that he must have been extremely difficult to work with, but despite all the drugs and all the women, he managed to show up to work and do his job for seven seasons.  That’s actually pretty impressive, in a filthy, depraved sort of way.

I’ve heard reports that “Two and a Half Men,” through international syndication and DVD sales, is worth over $50M per episode to CBS, and maybe even twice that.  Sheen, the big-name star of the program, was making about $2M per episode when this saga began and wanted a bump to around $3M per.  Sure, no one really needs all of that money, but fair is fair, and if he’s the biggest piece of a puzzle worth at least tens of millions of dollars, wasn’t it on CBS to make it work out so that the show could go on?  Forget about the raw values and think about the principle: in all likelihood, Sheen is mathematically worth the extra million per episode for the network and the dozens (hundreds?) of people whose bills are paid by “Men.” (more…)

About three miles south of Beverly Hills in the upper-middle class neighborhood of Beverlywood is Hamilton High School.  An otherwise ordinary Los Angeles Unified School District-sponsored juvenile detention center, Hamilton is home to a couple of well regarded magnet programs, particularly the Academy of Music Magnet.  The Music Magnet is the old stomping grounds of pop stars, Broadway talent, and even Hollywood A-listers who were drawn to a public school program that has a focus on the arts.  Yet, even this rare LAUSD high school that students actually want to attend has become a casualty of the horrendous budget crises in the state of California.

Reporter Steve Lopez was dispatched to the scene to write up the various cutbacks for the Los Angeles Times.  Lopez is known for being the journalist whose articles on a schizophrenic musician inspired the Robert Downey Jr./Jaime Foxx film The Soloist.  Then all of a sudden, what had the makings of a compelling human interest piece on one of the handful of quintessentially Hollywood high schools quickly devolved into a sob story about how these poor teachers and students have been victimized by the dastardly Republicans and their resistance to tax hikes.

How did he do this?

First, Lopez paints a rosy picture of the school by glowingly describing a performance by the jazz band and cherry-picking quotes raving about teachers; his portrayal of Hamilton is a lot like Sean Penn’s depiction of Iraq in Team America:

As it happens, Hamilton is my local high school and I have family and friends who have graduated from the Music Magnet in recent years.  To put it bluntly, many of their experiences didn’t resemble the mythical land of incredible teachers and students anxious to learn that Lopez describes.  An anonymous Hamilton graduate told me she recalls students doing cocaine in the state-of the art auditorium (which was overhauled with a lavish grant to the Music Magnet)—in fact, the source recalled students showing up to class on an assortment of drugs.  Faculty members were seen “celebrating” with students at cast parties after plays.

And I thought programs like these were meant to keep kids off drugs. (more…)

Though the 83rd Academy Awards was rarely entertaining (okay… it was about as much fun as a chemistry midterm), it was, for the most part, apolitical.  There were a couple of exceptions, however, the most notable was perhaps cinematography winner Wally Pfister who gave special thanks to his union crew on “Inception.”

“Inception” Cinematographer Wally Pfister with Christopher Nolan

From ABC News:

Backstage he went further, expressing shock at Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker’s budget proposal, which would limit union’s collective bargaining powers…

“I think that what is going on in Wisconsin is kind of madness right now,” Pfister says. “I have been a union member for 30 years and what the union has given to me is security for my family. They have given me health care in a country that doesn’t provide health care and I think unions are a very important part of the middle class in America all we are trying to do is get a decent wage and have medical care.”

Yes, nothing like an Academy Award winner who can afford to send his three children to whatever school he wants coming to the aide of the unions that have destroyed the public schools.

Regardless of your perception of unions, comparing Hollywood unions to the Wisconsin teachers union is hardly apples to apples.  Hollywood unions bargain with corporations that have money they have earned by making movies like “Memento,” “Batman Begins,” “The Prestige,” “The Dark Knight,” and “Inception” (just to name a few Pfister has worked on personally), and unions collectively bargain to get a greater share of the revenue.  Governments, on the other hand, don’t earn anything; they extract taxes from citizens, many of whom have fallen on tough financial times.  Pfister’s union crew bargains with the capitalists that have a stake in the outcome of the negotiation, a vested interest in reaching a reasonable agreement with the unions – their bottom line depends on it.  Governments, on the other hand, have no such bottom line to worry about (see: American Recovery and Reinvestment Act).  In Wisconsin, the unions are trying to strong-arm politicians (many of whom are bankrolled by the unions come campaign time) in order to pad their pension fund with tax dollars, all at the direct expense of the state’s fiscal health.

Hollywood unions bargain with corporations for the corporations’ money; in Wisconsin, they’re bargaining with union-backed politicians for the taxpayers’ money.  It’s one thing to add to the Warner Brothers’ tab; it’s quite another to add to the citizens’.

(more…)

[CONTENT WARNING: This post contains harsh language.]

On Wednesday night, Quentin Tarantino was roasted at the New York Friars’ Club. Some of Hollywood’s most famous and talented stars were on hand, many of who did the actual roasting. Among them Samuel L. Jackson, Jerry Lewis, Sarah Silverman, Rob Schneider, Eli Roth, and Neve Campbell. One shameless roaster named Whitney Cummings, often seen on Chelsea Lately, delivered the most buzz-worthy/cringe-worthy line of the night:

[Tarantino has] produced more retarded things than Sarah Palin’s vagina.

Somewhere out there, Andrew Dice Clay is blushing. Not because the joke is off-color, he doesn’t care about that. He’s flushed because it’s unfunny, stolen hackery.

Let’s deal with the unfunny part first: Who is the butt of this joke? A toddler who suffers from down-syndrome and the mother that chose not to destroy him while he was in the womb. Yikes. Regarding Trig: Lay. Off. The. Kids. Okay? Regarding Mama Palin: Is it possible to write a more obvious joke on a more obvious target? I’m sure Ms. Cummings fancies herself irreverent; what would be truly irreverent is if she would harness a little of that hate that dwells in her dreary heart and direct it toward someone who is actually in power. Here are some possible targets she may want to consider: Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, or Joe Biden (notice how I’m not mentioning Obama’s children?). If she insists on resorting to humor that’s main attribute is shock-value, why not try a target that might actually shock someone?

Now let’s deal with the hackery part. It’s one thing that Whitney Cummings is mean-spirited, vulgar, and boring, but it’s quite another that she stole this joke. Here’s a super-NSFW clip of Louis CK on Opie and Anthony going on a jag against Sarah Palin that ends with him referring to her vagina as a “retard-making cunt.” (more…)

A couple of weeks ago at a press conference for her new movie The Switch Jennifer Aniston said, “Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child.”  And with that, the starlet might have dealt a crushing blow to her own film.

After Aniston’s ill-advised political posturing, Bill O’Reilly picked up on the quote and riffed off it on his FoxNews show.  Key quote:

Aniston can hire a battery of people to help her, but she cannot hire a dad, OK? And Dads bring a psychology to children that is, in this society, I believe, underemphasized. I think men get hosed all day long in the parental arena.

This is, of course, right on the money.  Since the right to abort a fetus was dubbed “a woman’s right to choose,” feminists, the welfare state, and deadbeat dads across America have done their level best to marginalize the role a father plays in a child’s life.  And finally, in 2010, Jennifer Aniston proclaims that men are officially unnecessary for child rearing. (more…)