Porn Industry to Congress: Hey, We Want a Bailout, Too
by Ace of SpadesHard to believe they’re on the level, but who knows these days.
With the financial industry, auto makers and more getting assistance from the federal government to stay afloat during the recession, the adult industry decided it would try to get something as well.
Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis and “Hustler” magazine publisher Larry Flynt have said they will petition Congress for financial aid along the lines of what the Big Three auto makers are getting.
Francis said that he and Flynt are asking for $5 billion, and that they have sent letters to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, Congress and their local Congressman, Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) with the proposal.
The pornographers blame the rise of free porn for their dire financial straits.
Personally, I blame the lack of quality scripts. It’s always the same story, they haven’t had a new idea in 30 years, and it’s nothing but sequels, sequels, sequels.
Economists warn that without a bailout, a “ripple effect” could spread to related industries, including the swingers’ magazine industry, the late-night-programming-at-Cinemax industry, and even the latex “Gimp Outfit” industry. All told, an entire region comprising some twenty square miles of the San Fernando Valley could be devastated.
In related news: Charlie Sheen announced he thinks he’s finally found a cause he can “really get behind.”
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42 Comments
I wonder if the pizza delivery and pool boys of porn will deliver pizza and clean pools — the jobs Americans won’t do.
You have got to be freaking kidding me??? How about a jolt up the ass with 1 million volts! This is not how I want the taxes stolen from me to be spent. NO bail outs to the porn industry or any industry. It’s time for Revolution 2.0…
I would rather get the software to print money myself as needed, this way you cut out the middle man.
I’m against bailing out the porn industry. I mean, why do they make those really long movies when 2-3 minutes does it for most guys? THink about how much money they could save in film alone.
I say let Joe Francis and Larry Flynt go down. The free market dictates who should stay around by who is doing things “right”. Obviously drunk college girls making out and cameras that explore into all parts of the human anatomy do not satisfy the American consumer.
This is brilliant! These guys have always been self-promoters and this ’stunt’ is terrific (I bet they’re half-joking, half-serious) — it clearly shows how ridiculous these bailouts are and how arbitrary the lines are for those who dole them out. 9/11 widows (forget those who were widowed on 9/10 or 9/12)? Why not companies (only ones that are “too big” to fail)? Why not banks? Why not those companies that reclassify themselves as banks? Why not the car companies? Why not the manufacturing sector? Why not housing and home construction? Why not Hollywood? Entertainment is essential to peoples’ well-being, after all. And then there’s good ol’ Larry Flynt and his brother-in-arms Joe Francis.
All these bastions of capitalism are pure ’sink or swim’ until it’s THEIR turn to sink or swim — then, they come a-knockin’ with hands out.
Mmm…now that could make for an interesting hearing with Pelosi and gang…maybe worth setting the DVD and popping some corn!
Why on earth would you even think of publishing a story like this? It is an obvious attempt to gain more exposure to their respective companies. I can hear them now… “What can we do to keep our organizations in the spotlight? I know, let’s ask the feds for a bailout! This is along the same line where inmates from our federal prisons are filing frivolous lawsuits – a practice that needs to be outlawed itself. I’ve listened to and read many great American speeches/articles in recent months about how screwed up we are and what needs to be done. But the truth is, it’s all talk and NOBODY is willing to really get up and lead the charge. I love this country, but it is starting to become dis-heartning to live here due to a mostly corrupt government and a country full of apathetic citizens that all yell for change but aren’t willing to work for it. President-Elect Obama has no idea what he’s gotten himself into. There’s an old saying; “Be careful what you wish for.” While I support and stand behind him as an American, it will be interesting to see how many others will be standing behind him a year from now. In a society full of people with an immediate gratification mentality, Obama (nor McCain if he had won) stand a chance to TOTALLY fix our mess. He’ll do some good things, but in the whole scheme of things our society will focus on what he DIDN’T accomplish. Good luck to him – Good luck to us!
At least the committee hearings on this bailout, complete with testifying pornographers, and their stars, would be great for C-Span during sweeps.
If I don’t pay for porn, why should my taxes?
Hey, site admin: Sometimes the last comment leaves its info in the reply Name/Mail/Website fields! IOW, I could have posted as Andrew if I wanted. This is something that NEEDS fixing!… unless you want chaos in comments, that is.
Back on topic: Porn never did anything for me. No eros at all. Hell, erotic stills are almost impossible to find anymore. Playboy was good at that back in the 60’s and 70’s, but today, it’s all bleached hair and fake boobs… like all the girls Hef hangs out with, come to think of it. And, don’t even get me started on tattoos. Gag, retch.
Whats the matter with this suggestion/proposal??? The biggest Boobs of the Boobs always flock together… Or is it bobble or frock together???
I’m tempted to say give them a bailout so we can have a bipartisan bailout backlash once and for all.
But there are too many boobs in Congress already.
(Thank you, I’m here all week. Try the veal.)
“The pornographers blame the rise of free porn for their dire financial straits.”
Yes, folks, it’s a very sad day when Joe Francis and Larry Flynt come to the conclusion that folks can even have the (painted-up, dessicated, plastic-surgeried) cow for free as well.
[...] I wouldn’t hold my breath though. When he’s through Uncle Sam will probably grab a smoke, roll over and go to sleep anyway. Click here [...]
The Federal Government should just go ahead and bailout everyone who submitted a W-2 or W-4 or who paid taxes last year. They should give each of $150k. That way we can stimulate the economy and stimulate ourselves by spending money on our debt, our mortgages, buying cars and of course, buying more porn.
VJ:
I thought the same thing when the universities asked for help. The Republicans should tell Obama don’t be stingy – give money to anyone and everyone that asks for it. Let him be the bad guy and tell people no. We can eliminate poverty by making everyone rich.
On second thought, some Republicans like Jerry Lewis would probably think it’s a great idea. And Obama, not knowing anything about economics, may not understand that we’ll end up like Germany between the wars or Zimbabwe today and go for it.
President Obama is paying for my mortgage when he gets into office, right?
Huh?
“http://ace.mu.nu/” … huh?
I love reading US news. The entertainment value is very good. Laugh a minute and it is no joke, that is what makes it even more funny.
Is there anyone there with a brain?
No wonder the US is the laughing stock of the rest of the world how can anyone take you seriously…..
Ha! Maybe Pfizer can give them a stiff handout….
What a load. Flaccid sales are just a fig leaf covering the real issue and, anyway, the last thing anyone wants is for Congress to have a hand in that product.
This is what happens naturally when all those 70’s and 80’s pornstars reach retirement. The (leather) vested retirement benefits and (hot, sweaty) unions, coupled with an industry that has been all too willing to grab its ankles for decades, have finally reached the inevitable climax. It really comes as no surprise to anyone; in the long run the industry could never have possibly kept its end up.
They’ve made their beds. Let them go down without our help. They get O from me.
i saw he collapse coming and “pulled out” just in time.
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Look on the Bright side- I’m applying for the inevitable government job as Porn Czar!
If selected I will impose stiff penalties on porn companies that abuse my hand-outs. Porn movies will have to have scripts written by unionized screenwriters, and actresses must be members of SAG (but they must not sag).
I will establish a new WPA and NRA. (Working Pornographer’s Administration and National Raunchiness Act).
The New Deal will look pale by comparison.
Cheers.
[...] Big Hollywood » Blog Archive » Porn Industry to Congress: Hey, We … [...]
So many jokes, so little time.
The porn industry has gone flaccid.
They need hard money and FAST!
Anyone got any?
[...] Big Hollywood » Blog Archive » Porn Industry to Congress: Hey, We … [...]
Bailing out porn is better than bailing out GM.
At least you get a real screwing that way
So what they are saying is that the Porn industry is falling on hehehehe
‘hard’ times. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE
I guess there’s no money in money shots anymore.
People think this is a joke. But why not? Even these guys see that there is a guy on the street corner handing out money. Don’t tell me that you don’t run over and try to get some……
Does anyone doubt any more that bailouts constitute a moral hazard?
This one is certainly not worth the risk of inflation.
The real “problem” is that with so many people losing their jobs, people are reduced to trying to find the free samples on certain sites.
Just sayin’
Wait! You mean these productions have plots?
What do we need porn for? If we want fake boobs and big d*&ks, we can just turn on C-Span.
Who needs porn? If we want fake boobs and big d*&ks, we can just turn on C-Span.
Those are sequels? I thought they were remakes.
I needed a microfiber cloth and a spritz of screencleaner. I did a “Danny Thomas Coffee Spit” (well diet ginger-ale) all over my HP laptop. That is absolutely one of the funniest posts I’ve read anywhere. Of course, it is like Woody Allen observed after watching a porno “…and the lighting was so bad!”
[...] Johnson (Israel), Andrew Leigh (the Starbucks at the corner of San Vicente and Barrington) and Ace of Spades (numerous bars) also brought their guts, know-how and audiences to the Big Hollywood fold. Paging [...]
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